University O Application Form
Name: Beyond Birthday
Social Security #: 666-13-7734
Prospective major: bakery science (it DOES exist)
Education interruption (please describe any unusual circumstances regarding your attendance at secondary school or other university): Well, I would have graduated from Wammy's House, but my best friend committed suicide, so you must understand why I wasn't particularly fond of the place and left before completing my education. Real world beats anywhere, though, in terms of cultivating practical intelligence.
Extracurricular activities:
Sports: capoeira (oh look, Microsoft Word underlined that in red, how delicious). I learned from the very best.
Clubs: they are nice for braining people. Oh, I believe this means clubs as in organizations. In that case, no, I have no affiliations with any clubs.
Community service: my very existence is a service to society. After all, "I am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red" and "I am the 'who' when you call, 'Who's there?' I am the wind blowing through your hair." If I weren't around, who would scare little children into complacency when night fall? Who would frighten them into staying in their beds late at the night for fear of the boogie man? I think I deserve community service hours for the millions of hours I have saved parents around the world from having to restrain their juveniles from breaking curfew. Enough said.
Describe a work of art (e.g., a fine art piece, a song, a book, a poem, a photograph, etc.) that was significant to you. (500 words)
I was listening to "Heaven Help Us" by My Chemical Romance the other day (I normally don't; it just happens that the girl I was stalking [8 days, 7 hours, 14 minutes, and 33 seconds left in her]dropped her iPod, so I thought I'd have some fun with it). Weirdly, unlike most whiny hipster bands' music, it got me thinking.
Who on earth invented this mistake called life, huh? I'd like to meet him so I can eviscerate him with loving care. Oh right. He wasn't on earth, was he? He was some guy in space who got tired of seeing nothing but blackness, so he made light and earth and water and whatnot. And along the way, he decided he would make some things that apparently looked like him, so they could sing his praises. As if the angels glory-hallelujah-ing 24-7 weren't good enough.
Oh, angels. Whole 'nother story, now. I swear this'll get back on topic soon. Not that I'm really off topic. There were a lot of angels originally, it seems, but then a third of them went plunging after Satan into hell. And after thinking about it, I realized I'm not all that different.
My Satan was a man who called himself justice, but I think he knew that he was really just self-interest. Solve cases, arrest criminals, get a kick out of hearing people say his one-letter moniker like they were praying to a goddamn saint.
That's all he lived for: for himself, for his own happiness, the world be screwed. And I, in my youthful delusion, believed he was working for something greater, and that I should do likewise.
He was everything to me. If he said jump, I asked how high - no, I would guess how high he wanted and then do it. I wanted to be like him, act like him, think like him. I raised myself to fit his shoes perfectly.
And what for? I never could, because it turns out he didn't wear shoes. Darn.
No shoes, no standards, and no way for me to ever reach him. My best friend died trying, and after that, I figured I'd better get out of there or I'd go the same way. No such luck.
Psychosis is such a lovely thing; I do hope you get to experience it someday. It's just so fun observing my own actions, the more shocking the better, and wonder what is going on inside my brain to make me do such things. But anyways, long story short (I know I have a word limit), I ended up pouring myself a gasohol cocktail with a burning match instead of a slice of lime to top it off. I was going to be drunk for the first and last time in my life.
Then that FBI girl had to come along and put me out. That was the first time in my life I wanted to cry and couldn't. Because you know, my tear glands were kind of burned out.
And there's the punch line to the joke of life: someone save us.
Well, I suppose she could just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Unlucky for me.
But wasn't that what my life was all about? Trying everything and failing? Heaven help us indeed, teehee. Thanks for this life, Ryuuzaki. Much appreciated.
XXX
A/N: I think I liked this one best, along with L and Mikami's. It just fell into place really nicely and unexpectedly. Anyways, I do not own Death Note, Nightmare Before Christmas, My Chemical Romance, or anything else I could possibly make money off of. Sheesh, someday I'll get a job and then I won't have to fantasize about owning and profiting from any of these. But for now… your readership will do as writers' wages :) Thanks for reading! Here's the lovely song Beyond wrote about.
"Heaven Help Us" - My Chemical Romance
Hear the sound
The angels come screaming
Down your voice
I hear you've been bleeding
Make your choice
They say you've been pleading
Someone save us
Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you're falling down
I'm at this old hotel
But can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping
Or screaming or waiting for the man to call
And maybe all of the above
Cause mostly I've been sprawled on these cathedral steps
While spitting out the blood and screaming
"Someone save us!"
And will you pray for me?
Or make a saint of me?
And will you lay for me?
Or make a saint of?
Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
Cover me in gasoline
Wipe away those tears of blood again
And the punch line to the joke is asking
Someone save us
And would you pray for me?
(You don't know a thing about my sins
How the misery begins)
Or make a saint of me?
(You don't know So I'm burning, I'm burning)
And will you lay for me?
(You don't know a thing about my sins
How the misery begins)
Or make a saint?
(You don't know Cause I'm burning, I'm burning)
Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
(I'm burning, I'm burning again)
Cover me in gasoline again