Chapter 35: The Wilted Flower
"In a dark room we fight
Make up for our love
I've been thinking, thinking 'bout you
'Bout us
And we're moving slow
Our hearts beat so fast
I've been dreaming, dreaming 'bout you
'Bout us
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head isa jungle, jungle
My head, oh
I'm speaking soft
To the pain in your eyes
I've been Feelin', feelin' for you
My love
And our bodies are tired
Our shadows will dance
I've been achin' achin' for you
My love
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head
My love is wasted, sorry for this I never meant to be
Hurting ourselves, hurting ourselves and I'm
Complicated, you won't get me, I have trouble
Understanding myself, understanding myself and my
Love is wasted, sorry for this I never meant to be
Hurting ourselves, hurting ourselves and I'm
Complicated, you won't get me, I have trouble
Understanding myself, understanding myself
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head is a jungle, jungle
My head
Ho-oh-oh
Ho-oh-oh, oh
Ho-oh-oh
Ho-oh
Ho-oh-oh (My head is a jungle)
Ho-oh-oh, oh (My head is a jungle)
Ho-oh-oh (My head is a jungle)
Ho-oh"
- "Jungle" By, Emma Louise
Aegel gasped from the force of Uncas' lips against hers. The urgency of his kiss forced her to stumble backwards against a tree. Her dark eyes flew open from the impact, a mix of curiosity and nervousness blazing through them into the rich amber of Uncas's cheek. She was completely taken aback by the moment, not knowing how or why it was happening and quickly began searching Uncas' eyes for the meaning behind his actions. Each kiss, touch or moan from him made her dizzy and with it her concentration faltered. Aegel tried to steady herself, as she so desperately needed to understand what was happening. She weakly pushed at Uncas' shoulders in an attempt to put some small amount of distance between them. Though her half hearted efforts were thwarted the moment Uncas deepened their kiss. She sighed and relaxed her body into his, deciding the motive behind this glorious interlude mattered not at all. She had always wanted this, always wanted him. Her greatest desire was upon her and she was stupidly allowing blissful seconds to slip by. Aegel let her eyelids flutter shut and allowed herself to feel the warmth from Uncas's body seep into hers and that warmth shot straight to her core, making her insides melt and her hips press further into him. Her mouth moved against his as the pads of her fingers pressed into his bare back, kneading at his soft flesh. She had made the decision to accept this beautiful moment and now she would enjoy it.
"Uncas…," she moaned into his mouth.
Uncas pulled Aegel flush against him, squeezing at every part of her he could. He swallowed her taste down as his tongue tangled wildly with hers. He had thought of this moment dozens of times. Where would he be? How would it feel? Who would it be? Who would it be? The corner of Uncas's right eye twitched slightly drawing his attention away from Aegel and back to that nagging question. Who would it be? Someone he loved, certainly. Love. Did he love her? Yes, of course he did. His body ached for her. Even now with his attention stubbornly split, his body unconsciously rubbed against her, searing her with his desire. He desired her and is desire not a form of love? His eyes fluttered and quickly he pinched them shut, drowning out any and all thoughts with the breathy sound of Aegel's soft groans. She wanted this, he knew, and so, he was certain, did he too.
Uncas lessened his fierce grip on her body and carefully slid his hands up the back of her blouse, gently grazing his finger tips along her skin. Aegel's breath hitched and Uncas smiled softly, pleased with her reaction. Despite having Nathaniel as a brother, he knew very little of the act itself. While his brother may have been an enthusiastic lover of women, he respected them and would never discuss his late night activities. Which left him relatively clueless of such an important act as this. So he did the only thing he was able to do. Uncas took a deep breath through his nose and let his instincts lead him. Slowly, he began lowering their bodies to the cool earth below. Until his knees and toes burrowed lightly in the forest's thick soil. Uncas could feel Aegel's legs spread around him. The warmth from her thighs radiating into his own. She moaned into his mouth and the sound went straight to his groin, making his body so firm it hurt. He grunted in response and accidentally bit Aegel's tongue. She winced, though never broke away from his mouth. And instead, began kissing him with even more vigor.
Aegel's aggressive urgency startled Uncas, forcing his body still above her. He hesitated at the nervous knots suddenly twisting in his belly. Why was he nervous? He thought. This was right. This was what he truly wanted. Snippets of words from his brother, his father, his friend etched their way into his mind. Was he truly so determined to prove to everyone the validity of his feelings that he would set aside the one thing he held the most dear? What was happening? He shivered and slowly raised himself from his elbows to his palms, unsure once again of what his spirit was trying to tell him. He had been so steadfast, so sure of himself when he led her away from the village. Tired of the Kaydee and the others whispering negative words into his ears about Aegel. Tired of seeing her so alone and isolated. She was young, a bit naive and uncomfortable in her own skin, but beautiful. And with a smile that seemed to set him on fire. He wanted for her to be accepted. To be valued in their village. And he thought this was the way to do it. To show them all her importance. But her urgency was shocking and he found even more trepidation inside himself because of it. Though as he went to raise himself even more, he felt the softness of Aegel's hands wrap around his waist, her feather light fingers trailing down to his loincloth. She was warm and soft and each new touch derailed him. His breath hitched and his legs began to tremble.
"Uncas…," Aegel cooed, as she rose off her back to meet his mouth with hers. "Be inside me," she whispered against his lips. "Please…Uncas. Please be inside me."
Uncas moaned and gulped down her soft plea then without another thought lowered himself into her and the world around him disappeared. No worries, no swarming thoughts, no nagging voices in his head. Everything was still. The air around him was motionless, nothing moved in the silence. Not an animal, not a tree branch, nothing. Nothing, except the quickening beat of his own heart. He slid his palms up to her shoulders and gently pressed his fingers into her skin, as he surrendered his body to the most exquisite sensation he had ever felt. Sounds he had never known began spilling from his lip and his eyes rolled back in head before falling shut, suddenly dizzy from the overwhelming passion that seemed to assault every inch of him. What had begun as a slow tentative approach to the moment had grown wild. His body moved of its own volition, chasing a euphoria his subconscious knew was close. Aegel's grip on him tightened and his name seeped from her lips over and over again. The sweet sound echoing through his ears until finally, he released himself and his love drunk body collapsed on top of her. Only then was the stillness was broken.
"Uncas?" Aegel breathed from beneath him.
Uncas blinked the sweat from his eyes and focused his attention on the beautiful girl that had given him the greatest feeling he had ever experienced. The night's ashy clouds had finally parted and he could see, for the first time since they began, all the features of Aegel's face. Her lips were curled up in a bright smile. Her white teeth almost blinding in the darkness. Her dark brown eyes wide and glistening as long glassy tears slid down from the corners. Tears? Concern grew like a rock in Uncas's chest and he immediately shifted from atop her. He reached out with calloused palms and gently cradled her face, and ever so softly wiped away her tears with his thumbs.
"I hurt you? I'm so sorry Aegel," remorse thick in his voice. "I…I…I didn't mean to hurt you," he paused, silently cursing himself. While she had given him the most amazing feeling of his life, he had only given her pain. Pain she felt she needed to mask with a smile.
"Uncas…," Aegel began, her tiny hand wrapping around his left palm. "I'm happy. I'm not hurt or sad or anything else. I'm happy." Her smile brightened with each breathy word. "We have become one. How could I be anything other than happy?" She shifted into a seated position. "I feel as though a weight has been lifted. All this time wasted between us. Oh Uncas," she said brightly and scurried into his lap, burrowing her face in his shoulder. "I love you more than anything and can not wait for us to be husband and wife."
Uncas instinctively wrapped his arms around her. He gripped her tight against him, not knowing what else to do, and slowly breathed in through his nose, doing his best to steady his ever growing nerves. Panic. Suddenly he was consumed by panic. All his earlier thoughts that had been washed away by passion were back. Loud and pounding in his head. Husband and wife. His eyes found their way to the starry sky beseechingly. Too honorable to beg The Great Spirit for help, instead asked himself over and over again, what have I done?
Aegel walked breathlessly towards the stream, the basket she had hoisted on her hip slipped further down her body with each hurried step. She tugged it up higher, tilted her back to relish in the bright sunlight and giggled to herself. She had slept so late that her mother had feared she'd taken ill. Aegel awoke to cool rags splayed across her entire body and her mother bent over her softly praying for her health. When she sat up healthy and smiling widely, her mother began snatching the damp cloths from her body and began lightly smacking her with them, rambling off in rapid fire Delaware about her worry. Aegel quickly threw her hands up to block her face and retreated backwards towards an overfilled basket of laundry determined to make her escape. She hastily hopped to her feet, yanking the basket off the ground with her and practically ran from their wigwam, mumbling apologies over shoulder as she escaped her mother's gentle assault.
Once she was satisfied with the newly created distance between herself and her sweet mother, Aegel tilted her head back towards the sun and sighed at its warmth. Her feet slowed and her eyes fluttered shut, allowing the soft lapping sound of the river to be her only guide as she silently reminisced over her evening with Uncas. Her right hand delicately tracing her cheeks and lips as she remembered every blissful touch. Each one laced with a desire she never knew existed. Her grin widened to a satisfied smile. Because now she knew there was nothing and no one who could separate them. They had consummated their love, crossed all barriers and now they would most certainly move forward together as a family. The thought of family had her hand drift down her body to her belly and softly drum her fingers against her buckskin skirt. Family.
"Aegel?"
"Huh?" Aegel responded, dropping her hand and flinging open her eyelids.
"Are you alright? You almost walked straight into the river."
"Oh!" Aegel said, sheepishly jumping back from the river's edge.
Dyani smiled at her and cocked an inquisitive eyebrow but chose not to inquire further into Aegel's flustered state. "Join us," she said, waving Aegel forward into the river where five other girls squatted washing laundry.
After shaking off her reverie, Aegel smiled back at Dyani. Not many of the village girls were nice to her, most laughed or mocked her for her lack of skills. She could not walk twenty feet without some cruel girl giggling or sneering at her in the village just as they were now from water. But not Dyani. She had a quiet grace about her, a few years older then most of the unwed village girls. Though Aegel had no idea why Dyani was not yet married. It was certainly not for lack of beauty. She had a long, oval shaped face with skin a shade darker than almost everyone in the village. Her hair was long, silky and always left loose for Mother Nature's wind to enjoy. But most importantly, she was kind hearted. Even when she debated with the other villagers about the state of the world. Perhaps it was her outspokenness that kept her unwed, Aegel thought. But truth be told, Aegel received so few warm smiles that she would not deny herself the joy of being in the company of one. Even when her instincts told her to swiftly switch directions.
"Come," Dyani said, waving Aegel over towards her again. Aegel hesitated for only the briefest of moments, took a breath and thought of Uncas. Then with renewed confidence waded into the water beside her.
"Hello Aegel," Bena said, sweetly as she dunked a red blouse deep into the water. "We were just talking about your friend Uncas," she said, batting her eyelashes a bit too sheepishly.
Aegel sighed, nodding her head and smirking at Bena's very deliberate choice of words. At least she was getting straight to the point. Well, two could play that way she thought. "My friend, yes. And what of him?"
"Well…," Bena began. "We were saying what a handsome and strong warrior he has become. Son of a Chief. Eligible husband. And…"
"We weren't saying anything close to that. In fact we weren't talking about Uncas at all," Dyani plainly stated, staring Bena straight in her eyes.
Bena squeezed tight to the blouse in her hand twisting hard between her fingers. Meeting Dyani's dark eyes, she smiled widely and casually continued with, "Well…we are now aren't we. He's everything a woman could possibly want. Isn't he?" She said, turning to the rest of their companions. Their eager nods and silky eyes momentarily quieted Bena before she smiled even brighter and added, "Kaydee certainly thinks so."
Aegel felt her cheeks flush crimson and bit down on her lip to help contain her very nasty thoughts about Kaydee and her likewise very nasty attempts at seducing Uncas away from her. The girl had successfully plagued her since she first arrived at the village. And Bena, clearly a wolf in sheep's clothing, she had made small attempts at helping her along the way but they were all laced with annoyance as no doubt she had been made to do so by a sympathetic elder. Those situations only made Aegel curse herself more for being raised in an untraditional fashion. Which in turn only made her become more and more reclusive in the village. Aegel yanked hard on the shirt she was gripping under water. Twisting and turning it fiercely. She took a deep breath through her nose and smiled to herself. She didn't need them, didn't care for their opinion of her, not any more. She had Uncas.
Bena's eyes narrowed at Aegel's small smile, contemplating what it meant. Then knowing she had pressed the right nerve bringing up his name, she barreled on, "She told me that Uncas had kissed her, and whispered into her ear his love for her while his hands roamed her body. Who knows…," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe she's already with child." This was cruel, Bena knew, and untrue, but she found Aegel a silly little girl. Completely out of place in their village and could not imagine a warrior like Uncas being wed to a girl like her. The very idea of it was absurd. Taking him away from one of their own. And so no matter how cruel, Bena would not relent.
"Enough Bena," Dyani said as she rang out a shirt with her hands. She was finished listening to this ridiculous conversation.
Bena shot Dyani a harsh look, angered by her intervention. "Enough of what? Uncas is very desirable. Young, handsome, the son of a chief. He is an excellent choice for any young woman. Though you're not a young woman anymore are you?" She said with a snicker. "Funny how whenever we talk of Uncas you're always so quick to speak of his honor and good character. Almost as though you wish him for yourself," Bena slyly stated, while casually dropping her clean blouse in the basket. "Shame you never found a husband when you were young. Now you're practically an elder."
Dyani raised her head away from the laundry and calmly dropped her chin to speak, though not even the smallest syllable was able to escape her lips before Aegel hurled the soaking wet shirt she was holding straight at Bena's face, all of her previous confidence and composure lost.
"You lie! Uncas would never be with someone like Kaydee when he has already been with me! He has already been inside me, passionately and for all we know, his child already grows in my womb!" And she clutched her belly.
"What!" Bena said, eyes wide with this new gossip as she angrily hurled the shirt that had just been plastered against her face across the river. While the other girls slowly wadded further away from them, certain a physical fight was about to explode between them.
Aegel was visibly shaking. She had nothing in this village. No friends, no community, only her sweet mother and Uncas. And this wicked girl was trying to take him and their precious memories from her. "Yes!" She shrieked as she clamored to her feet. "And certainly he would never lie with you or any of you for that matter!" Her eyes darted wildly from girl to girl before finally falling on Dyani.
"I see," Dyani cooly stated, as she too rose to her feet at Aegel's silent accusation. She had watched Aegel walk lonely through the village for months and always hoped to help her in some way. Never thinking that her insistence of including her would have ended in quite this way. Dyani rolled her shoulders back and directed her attention to Bena. "First, I am twenty-four years old, hardly an elder. And hardly a barren waste land to which no man will ever enter." Then shifted her gaze towards Aegel. "Secondly, my appreciation of Uncas's character has nothing to do with him being the son of a chief and as such wanting to bed or wed him." Dyani sighed and shifted her eyes between them. "And the two of you here, Kaydee, you're all disgusting in your treatment of him. He deserves much better than your slithering tongues." And without feeling the need to entertain anymore of their nonsense, gathered her basket and left them staring at her back as she walked away.
After a long pause, Aegel finally blinked the shock of the moment away and quickly scurried from the water desperate to catch up to Dyani, and leaving a stunned speechless Bena alone in the river. "Dyani! Dyani! Please wait!" She pleaded.
Dyani shook her head without acknowledgment of Aegel's pleas and continued on her path until a sopping wet hand hooked around her elbow, lightly turning her the opposite direction.
"Please Dyani. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Of course you don't have intentions towards Uncas. It was stupid of me to even think about it. I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes. The village, the girls, my mother. Even Uncas." The last words came out as only a whisper before she released her grasp on Dyani's elbow. She should not have behaved that way. She should not have lost her temper. Regardless, of Bena baiting her. Dyani was right. Uncas deserved much better than her sharing their private moments in public. Her shameful eyes fell to the dirt. "Please accept my apology, I beg of you. You did not deserve my childish accusation. Especially you, who has always been genuinely kind to me." Aegel's voice had dropped to a mere whisper. "Please?"
Dyani sighed. She reached out and grasped Aegel's hand in hers. "I know you didn't mean your accusations against me and are forgiven for including me in such a horrid thought." Aegel's collapsed features soften slightly. "However," Dyani began and Aegel's eyes widened. "I caution you not to speak of Uncas in that way again. He is a man of honor, a good warrior and a man who doesn't involve himself in village drama. I do not believe he would like you telling the gossipy village girls the intimate details of his life. And I fear that now that you've done it, that there will be consequences for such actions. Try and take care Aegel, for your sake and for Uncas." Dyani lightly squeezed Aegel's soft palm and turned on her heels once more, leaving Aegel mouth agape and alone in the forest.
Dyani hoisted her basket higher on her hip and hurried away. Gossip had never been a form of entertainment that she desired, as more often than not it led to the shame and embarrassment of someone not worthy of such treatment. And today that someone was Uncas. Dyani clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth disgusted at the thought and quickly spat out the unsavory bitterness of the conversation into the dirt, blindly turning past a large rock formation as she did so and where her path was suddenly blocked by none other than Uncas and Chaska.
"Oh," she breathed startled.
Dyani opened her mouth to speak again though quickly sealed her lips as the expressions on their faces answered her unspoken question. Their youthful faces were filled with sadness, regret and questions. Her eye fell on Uncas and his distraught features told her better of offering any sympathetic words. He was broken in that moment and there was nothing she could possibly say to mend that brokenness. Slowly, she shifted her eyes to Chaska's resting palm on Uncas's shoulder. Her heart hurt for him. For his honor, his embarrassment and most importantly, his trust in a girl who, unfortunately, they all knew now did not deserve it. Dyani reached out and placed her hand atop Chaska's in a silent show of consideration. His skin burned into hers and hesitantly her dark sympathetic eyes slowly drifted from the wounded warrior to Chaska's'. Their eyes met quietly for a small moment, unspoken words lingering behind their sealed lips, before she slid her palm off the top of his hand and gradually stepped past them, continuing on her way towards the village.
Chaska followed Dyani with his eyes, absorbing each of her carefully calculated movements as she made her way through the forest. He had never seen her caught off guard before. Never seen her without the right words. Though perhaps there were no words. He shifted his eyes back to a still motionless Uncas and lightly pressed his fingers into his skin.
"Uncas?"
Uncas felt paralyzed. He had no awareness of his physical body. If not for the warmth of Chaska's hand on his shoulder he would have believed himself a spirit, floating aimlessly in the air. While his body was numb his mind was racing, barreling through his skull like a wolf zigzagging through a dense forest. Uncas tried to center himself and focus on a small purple flower in its last stage of life. Alone in the forest slowly succumbing to its fate as the vibrant bud now hunched forward with brown streaks creeping up its edges. He tilted his head slightly, suddenly absorbing their similarities and almost laughed before he closed his eyes and nausea assaulted him. This, he knew, was a situation of his own making. He had chosen this path for himself and had no one to blame but himself. And in that moment of frailty he finally admitted to the truth. He had never loved her, at least not in the way they both deserved to experience love. Being with Aegel gave him no inner peace. No calm. She did not whisper to his soul, only his desires. And even worse he had acted on those desires. He had accepted from her something not meant for him. He had tricked them both into believing his heart was in it. That joining together was what was right. That the act itself would fix any worries. That it would solidify them. And yet here they were, she was gossiping about their intimate moments, bragging even, and he was regretting every single touch, every kiss and caress. Wishing they could have remained as they began, as friends. Uncas opens his eyes, focusing once more on the wilted flower. A dying beauty, struggling to hold on.
"Oh Great Spirit…what have I done?" He whispered to himself.
"Uncas?" Chaska calmly said, squeezing his friend's shoulder once more.
The gentle sound of Chaska's voice snapped him out of his daze. His eyes stared beyond the flower at the path before him. Then, without responding, Uncas suddenly took off into a sprint. Like the wolf in his mind, zigzagging wildly through the trees. Each step more hurried than the one before. He pushed forward, hurling his body over a fallen log and onto the side of a stony, moss covered mountain side. His feet and palms slapping hard against the cold, smooth surface as he scaled higher and higher. Until his legs were covered in water. The soaked linen of his trousers weighed him down as the river bed reached up to stay him in place and even still he trudged forward, shaking his long limbs free of the water's icy grasp. A soft roar filled his ears and he knew he was close. He could see the edge. The haze of mist around the top creates a tiny, comforting rainbow. Just the smallest blaze of color but enough, enough to calm him. Because at this moment, with this tiny rainbow glistening in the light, Uncas felt like he was home. Home. Uncas smiled at the thought, spread his arms wide and leapt forward.
"UNCAS!"
The soft echo of his name bouncing off the stony rock wall was the last thing he heard before the foamy white spray of the waterfall swallowed him whole.
Author's Note: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and this story! I know this chapter is WAY overdo! I quit my job in August and started my own business and as glorious as it is...it is also incredibly time consuming! But I recently had a review that kicked my butt in gear! And so I have already started the next chapter! Thank you :)
Uncas is clearly struggling within himself with a multitude of different feelings, and then to hear Aegel put him and their intimate moments on blast...well he's crushed to say the very least. But his being crushed led to the realization that he needed most...that it was never meant to be. And as a side note, it is merely Aegel's perception that ALL the village girls are nasty to her...obviously that is not the case, she just sees what she wants to see. We also meet Dyani for the first time in this chapter! And fingers crossed nothing happens to Uncas...that's a pretty large leap he just took!
I know this chapter only has our one fan fav original character...I promise the next chapter will see a return of ALL our favs with the exception of Cora and Alice...but they'll be here in just a few short chapters and a small time jump! Thank you to all my dear friends and amazing supporters...your support means everything to me! And a special thanks to Hazel222 for the song!