Meg: Okay so here's chapter 2, this was so hard to write. I can't believe I'm doing this to my poor Ichigo! My poor, poor baby... You can't kill me though! I'm not doing this to Toshiro...
Shi: Woman, would you let me study?
Kyu: Apaparently not... So I guess you have to deal Shi-kun. Anyway Meg doesn't own Bleach, only this plot. Which I quite like!
Meg: Only because you forced me to write a story for this pairing after hearing that song... OH by the way this story is kinda a song fic hehe. It's inspired by "If She Could See Me Now" by Jason Aldean!

Ichigo stood stiff as Renji walked away from him, his words like a dagger piercing his heart. He couldn't breathe, and he couldn't speak. He couldn't form a coherent thought. So he did what his instincts told him, he ran. He took off as fast as he could, running past Renji, breaking through the center of the group and kept running.

Ichigo felt his reiatsu flare wildly and painfully, matching his emotions. He felt the tears stinging his cheeks. Without even thinking he was running to the most secluded place he could think of – Sokyoku Hill. He vaguely felt the reiatsu's following him but quickly started to mask his, something he learned to do in the human world not so long ago. Upon entering far enough into the trees to stay hidden he collapsed to his knees.

Gasping for breath Ichigo tried to stop the flood of emotions over his senses, but it was an impossible feat. 'Why does this hurt so much… ?' He thought to himself. 'Why do I have to love such a bastard… Why…'

'Ya gotta admit he was a good fuck.' Shirosaki whispered in Ichigo's mind.

: Get out of here now, Hollow.: Zangetsu stated coldly. : Gaki, Renji didn't mean it.:

"Like hell he didn't!" Ichigo choked out in a half yell. "You don't say something like that and not mean it!"

: Gaki…: Zangetsu's voice was a soft whisper. : Zabi—: He was interrupted.

"Ichigo…" Ichigo looked up, startled, into saddened violet eyes. "What happened?"

"Just the bastard being the bastard he is." Ichigo spat, wiping viciously at his eyes.

"What did Renji say?" Rukia asked calmly. But her eyes spoke of a conflict. She couldn't think of anything Renji could say that would make Ichigo like this. Not if Renji loved him like he says he does.

"Just that he never cared for me." Ichigo growled. "Just being as cruel as he was when we broke up. Just being as cold hearted as he always will be."

"Oh Ichigo," Rukia pulled him into a hug and hummed soflty. "it's okay… I'm here. You can cry."

"Why do I have to love that bastard, Rukia? Why can't my heart let go? Why does my reiatsu still reach for his?" Ichigo asked softly into Rukia's shoulder when he'd stopped crying again. "Why do I still have to feel this way?"

"I don't know Ichigo… We'll figure it out some day." Rukia felt something in her resolve stiffen, she felt her muscles tighten. 'Renji,' She thought vehemently. 'I will rip you to shreds.'

XXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Renji didn't say anything as he saw Ichigo speed past him. He tried not to see the glistening in soft, yet wise and pained eyes. He tried not to feel the reiatsu that pulsed, speaking in volumes of the pain the owner was going through.

He saw Rukia speed after the shinigami, trailing far enough behind to give him time. When the group turned to look at him he just passed them and didn't stop. He heard Matsumoto scoff; he saw the anger in Yumichika and Ikkaku's eyes. He saw the scowl on Shuhei's face. He kept his face impassive, the walls shielding his eyes as he relieved the past, walking blindly to his quarters. The quarters that he used to plan on sharing with Ichigo.

He walked into the house, a pained expression on his face. He couldn't believe he was going to do this. He couldn't believe he was going to break his one love's heart, he had to do this and go back to soul society for good. He stopped just outside his and Ichigo's bedroom door. He took a deep breath and opened it to find Ichigo sprawled across the bed, a drowsy look across his face, wet hair ruffled on the sky blue pillow case, bare chested in his boxers. Renji felt his heart jump into throat.

"Renji.. .You're home." Ichigo gave him a lazy smile. "Come lay down with me, I'm sleepy."

"Ichigo." Renji said in a soft, calm, emotionless voice. Not unlike Kuchiki Byakuya's.

"Renji? What's wrong?" Ichigo sat up, worried into wakefulness.

"I was promoted." Renji said, without a smile, his reiatsu clamped down firmly.

"What? That's great Renji! Why are you so upset?" Ichigo exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

"Ichigo. I won't be staying in the living world anymore." He said, trying not to say what he meant outright.

A little bit of confusion crossed Ichigo's face. "Okay…" He said slowly. "We can make this work, I'll come visit you in Soul Society, nothing too hard with Urahara here." He smiled again.

Renji sighed under his breath. He forced himself to clamp his reiatsu down harder and looked straight into Ichigo's eyes, putting ever bit of coldness into the gaze as he could. He saw the shocked look in Ichigo's face, yet again. "Ichigo. It's over."

"W-what?" Ichigo whispered, pain flashing across his sharp, gorgeous features.

"I said it's over. Between you and me. I'm a captain now. I can't date you. Besides, you'll only drag me down." Renji gritted out every word in that cold, calm voice that would have even Kuchiki Byakuya on edge.

Ichigo sat on the bed. A horrified expression was on his face, so full of betrayal and hurt. "Is that what you really think… Abarai-taicho…" He said, deceptively calmly.

"Yes." Renji barely managed that one word. His mind kept screaming 'No!' and Zabimaru was silent but he could feel the anger flow in through their link. He saw Ichigo gulp heavily. He could feel the pounding in the reiatsu around him, he could see the pain in his lover's – ex-lover's, he corrected – face. He saw the white knuckles clenching the bed sheet and he forced his voice to continue, betraying nothing of his internal conflict. "I don't care for you anymore. It was fun while it lasted."

"How could you?" Ichigo shook with tears unshed. "You led me on; you made me feel like I was loved. Like I was needed!" Renji's mind screamed in pain, 'You are loved, you are needed!'

Renji stayed silent as Ichigo continued. "How could you Renji… I put my heart and soul into this, I gave you EVERYTHING… You had my first everything… Why would you do this… I thought we had something…" Ichigo choked on the sobs trying to force their way out, and he refused to glance up.

"You put too much into things. Love is a myth." Renji's voice was cold and calculated. 'I can't. Why am I saying this? What am I doing?' His mind shoved harder against the block Renji put up.

"Get out… Get out and don't come back!" Ichigo looked up, tears streaking down his cheeks. "Leave me then, if that's what you want. Just go. Get out!"

Renji simply turned, his whole being fighting him every step as he moved further away. His mind screaming again, fighting, 'This isn't what I want! I love you, only you! Please, Ichigo, forgive me!'

Renji pounded his fist on the wall in anger. 'Damn that man to hell! Why did I let him do this to me! Why did I let him force me to break Ichigo's heart! Why did I say that!' He started to mentally beat himself up. That is, until his door slammed open, revealing a very, very angry Kuchiki with violet eyes.

"Renji." The way she said it sent fear screaming down his spine and Renji stiffened. "You. Will. Explain." And Renji dropped to his knees and let his head fall against the wall, the pain he'd held back for so long, finally crashing into him.