AN I wanted to write something extreme before the show was going to mess up my story entirely (with that I mean probably Sean and Alex kissing and saying I love you or something. To quote Birkhoff: Not cool man!) So hear it is, hope you guys all like it :D BtW I totally recommend the vid A drop in the ocean about Birkhoff and Alex made by Destined4Delena. It's on youtube and every time I want to see it I want to write.

Alex had been feeling a bit off for the past couple of days, but this night it was at its worst. She had been tossing and turning for most of the night trying to find a right position to sleep in when it happened. A sharp stab of pain in her abdomen had her gasping. There was a wetness between her legs soaking through her clothes into the sheets.

"Alex, what's wrong?" Birkhoff questioned from the other side of the bed.

"I don't know." She groaned, gripping her stomach. Birkhoff turned on the lamps on the bedsides to have a better look. The sheets had shifted giving him a clear view of the bed and Alex her pajama pants; they were covered in blood.

"Jesus Alex, your bleeding!" He exclaimed.

"Get Nikita…" The pain was slowly ebbing away, leaving a dull throb in the cramped muscles.

Birkhoff nearly knocked his phone of the table in his haste to grab it. There was no way he was leaving Alex alone right now. "Birkhoff what the…" Came the sleepy voice of Michael on the other end of the line. "Shut up! Something is wrong with Alex, I don't know what but she is bleeding." He was panicking. He took a few calming breaths as he heard the phone shut off on the other side. Trying to stay calm he turned towards his girlfriend. "You are going to be okay." He whispered stroking her hair.

The door slammed open as Nikita and Michael rushed to Alex her side. The blood made them pause for a second. "What happened Alex?" Nikita murmured as she pulled the young girl against her. Rocking her softly trying to sooth her. Birkhoff felt completely useless as he watched the older woman so expertly help his girlfriend.

"I don't know." Alex hiccupped. "I wasn't feeling well these past few days and I was trying to fall asleep when there was a stab of pain down here." She placed her hand on her stomach. "I don't know where the blood came from."

Michael seemed to have an epiphany all of a sudden. "Alex when was your last period?" Both woman glared at him. "Don't look at me like that. I mean before this happened, when was your last period….is it possible that you had an…miscarriage…" Everyone waited with bated breath as Alex did the math in her own head. Was it possible? Suddenly Alex shot up and ran into the adjoining bathroom throwing up. Nikita followed her after the initial shock had worn off just a little. Birkhoff wasn't sure what he should do. 'Alex had been pregnant' was all that ran through his head. Was he supposed to go to her, or leave this to Nikita as she was better with the emotional stuff. Alex had been pregnant. As if on automatic control Birkhoff stripped the bed of its cover and placed a new one on it. He handed it to Michael.

"Could you…could you burn this please." His throat felt closed up. Alex had been pregnant with his child, his child. He could have been a father. Michael took the soiled sheets without any words and left the room. Sometimes being silent was a lot better than empty words. The door to the bathroom opened and Nikita stepped out.

"Alex is currently in the shower, but I think she can use your support right now Seymour." She left the room after that. Birkhoff ignored the sobs he heard when she closed the door behind her. She was Michael his worry, he had another female to comfort.

He found Alex on the floor of the shower, warm droplets of water dripping of her hair and body. She had finally started to get lively again, smile again, and now it was all quite literally flowing down the drain. When she finally looked up his heart broke. He hated the fact that he would never know what would have happened if that child had made it, but she had the burden of knowing that it died inside of her.

"Come on, lets get you out of there into something warm and dry." She stepped into the towel he was holding up, wrapping it securely around her. Birkhoff knew that he was nearly supporting her entire weight with the way she was leaning against him, her hands fisted into his shirt as if clutching him would keep her from drowning. He was afraid it might just be too late for that.

Once they were settled back in the big, now clean, bed Birkhoff decided to talk. If they didn't talk about it now they would both try to deny it ever happened. It would be easier in the beginning, but could end up destroying them in the end.

"Alex…"

"Can we just not talk for a second Seymour." Apparently she had decided against talking.

"Alex we need to talk. Ignoring this will not make it disappear." He stroked her hair, trying to get her to relax.

"What is there to talk about. We didn't know about it and clearly it wasn't meant to be there in the first place."

"Alex this isn't your fault. Just because we didn't know about it didn't mean it was any less wanted." She was shivering in his arms, her body too tired to go into full sobbing mode.

"It is my fault, I should have noticed when I missed my period. I should have taken care of my body more. How can you say it was wanted, we are in the middle of a war."

"We are all so busy all the time, we are all stressed. I am not surprised you didn't notice Alex, no one expects you to. You are right; we are in the middle of a war. I would, however, never regret having a child with you Alex. Had it survived." He gulped, the loss still very raw. "I would have loved it just as much as I love you."

"God, I just feel so stupid for mourning something I never even knew was there."

"It's not stupid. I can't help but wondering what it would have looked like either. Whether it would have had your curls or my eyes. If he or she would be as beautiful as you." His eyes got a little misty at the idea.

"Maybe they would get my beauty, but I really hope they will get your brain. Your smile would be good too." She looked up at him, smiling through watery tears.

"Are we okay?" he whispered, brushing away a couple of stray hairs.

"Not yet, but we will be." They didn't talk anymore after that and sleep soon followed.

On the other side of the house Nikita was lying in her own boyfriend his arms, pondering the recent events. Alex was like a little sister to her and seeing her in such distress did not sit well with Nikita. She always had wanted to protect the younger female, but this was something she could not help her with. This loss was to personal to ever fully understand by a bystander. She could only imagine what Birkhoff must be feeling. The nerd came from a broken home and Alex came from a destroyed home. Losing some part of their newly formed family must feel like a sledgehammer to their faith.

"Stop thinking about it." Michael muttered. "They are both strong and their relationship is better than ever; they will get through this."

"Of course they will. It's just so sad." She wrapped her arm a little more securely around his waist. "Why can nothing good ever happen in this house."

"Okay, that's it." Michael sat up, leaving a surprised Nikita in the bed as he went over to the dresser. "I was planning this for later, when I found the right moment. I am however getting the idea that there never will be a right moment."

"Michael what are you saying." She had absolutely no idea what he was planning, and Nikita hated surprises.

"What I am saying is that you are right: something good should happen in this house. So do you think you might be able to let Alex focus on wedding preparations to take her mind of the miscarriage?" He held open a black velvet box with a beautiful silver ring in it. A larger diamond was in the middle with two smaller ones on the sides. It took Nikita a couple of seconds to realize exactly what he was saying.

"yes! Yes! Yes!" she launched herself at him making them both fall back with an oomph.

"I love you." She said kissing him on the mouth.

"Love you too." Michael answered when he regained his breath. Maybe not everything that happened in the house was happy and joyful, but sometimes there were great memories made.

AN: I am not certain about the second part, but I didn't want the chapter to be too depressing.