Echoes

Chapter 6

Over the next couple of weeks, life settled into something of a routine for Reid. He'd had routine before, but it had always been solitary. Now he factored in his time with Henry, staying true to his promise to JJ to be a presence in Henry's life. And he found his own life brightened by the presence of both of them.

Reid's time alone was spent with his mother, via her journals. He knew most of the highly labile time was behind him, but also knew that she'd been unable to string together enough good days to ever consider living outside Bennington. He expected he'd see that reflected in her writing.

"Spencer has a new job, he tells me. One that will take him far away from me. I can't help but wonder if that was the point. But he seems enthused, and tells me he'll be helping people, so a large part of me is very proud of him."

Followed by the very next day's entry: "Spencer…a spy! He's working for the government. All through his childhood I tried to warn him about this, I tried to protect him. And now they have him! Somebody help us!"

The one comfort Reid had about entries like this one was the knowledge that his mother stayed in her paranoia for only short periods of time while she was at Bennington. That was a drastic improvement over the months she'd stay in it when he was growing up with her.

"Spencer has been sending me letters. I get one nearly every day. He's been describing his co-workers. His superior, Gideon…I don't know whether he is a good thing or a bad thing in Spencer's life. Spencer seems to see him as a role model. But there's subtext to what he writes that tells me Gideon could be unstable and maybe even dangerous…and this job is already far more dangerous than I ever wanted for my son. I find myself grateful for the man named Hotchner. As Spencer describes him, he is more level headed and reliable."

Reid wondered at his mother's insight. It had taken him a long time to get past how Gideon had been and how he had left them. For all of the mentoring Gideon had given the young profiler, the more mature Reid realized it might not always have been a healthy thing. And somehow his mother had perceived that, from the beginning, via his letters.

"There is another man on the team, Morgan, whom Spencer seems to admire. His letters refer to the many pieces of advice he receives from Morgan, on everything from how to handle a case to how to 'pick up girls'! I think he sees Morgan as a big brother or something of that sort. Is my boy growing up? I've never thought of him wanting to pick up girls."

Reid found himself smiling. He knew that Morgan was actually teaching him how to get the girls in the bar to listen to him long enough to help him identify a suspect….but he had actually ended up meeting a girl…

Diana's journal entry ended with, "There are two women in his office as well. Or three, if you count the computer girl, but she doesn't seem to travel with them. The one woman, Elle, seems a bit hardened, though Spencer seems to like her. The other one, he calls her JJ, is almost as young as he is. Spencer seems to think she is very sweet. I believe he even asked her out on a date…..my boy! I did always tell him, 'when you're ready, the right girl will come along'. I wonder if he is starting to look for that girl. I wonder if he thinks this JJ is she."

Even though he was alone, Reid found himself blushing at that. The "date" had been anything but. More like JJ humoring a very immature Reid in his bungling attempt to bring her to a sporting event he knew nothing about. She was entirely sweet about it, but neither of them had contemplated a second date. The more mature Reid was wondering what might have happened if their first date had taken place now. And then rueing the thought. He'd once had a crush on JJ, but had put it aside to build a friendship. Which he very much wanted to preserve. He needed to get his mind to behave itself. "Good luck with that," his emotions told him.

Saved by the phone. "Uncle Spence! Guess what! We're having 'Special Persons Day' at school on Saturday. Can you come, Uncle Spence? And Auntie Penelope too! You're my special persons!"

Reid was touched. "Henry, I can't think of anything I'd rather do. Can you put your mom on the phone so she can tell me where and when?"

"Sure, Uncle Spence." Reid heard the phone hit the ground and little feet running. "Mommy! Uncle Spence wants you."

Moments later, "Hi Spence. I guess it didn't occur to him to bring the phone to me…..he's just all excited about 'Special Persons Day'. He wanted to be the one to invite you and Garcia. Can you make it? It's Saturday at 10 at his preschool. They're putting on a little show for everyone."

"Wouldn't miss it. I don't think I've seen a school pageant since I was in one…..and I was only in the one, before they moved me up and out of elementary school. What about Will? Your parents?"

"Will, believe it or not, has gone undercover on a case. I gave him a hard time about that, considering how dangerous he thinks my job is. But it sounded like an important one for him, so I can't ride him too much. My parents are on a cruise…timing is everything, I guess."

"Well, godmother and godfather will have to suffice then."

"You and Garcia do much more than 'suffice'. You're the family he really knows."

"And we both love him. Although I think Garcia is ahead of me in the 'spoiling' department."

"Let's keep it that way, okay? He values your time more than anything else….we both do."

"And I value his," adding, very softly, "and yours."

Fortunately, Saturday found the team in town and well rested. The crowd at the preschool was much larger than Reid expected, seemingly full of grandparents and aunts and uncles. He spotted JJ's wave and made his way over to her. Henry was excitedly talking with Garcia about the array of desserts that would be available after the program. "And Mommy made brownies!"

"And Henry ate one when Mommy wasn't looking" provided JJ.

The offender didn't look at all abashed. "It was good, mmm."

Reid laughed and pulled a quarter from Henry's ear. He knew that was always good for a squeal, and he wasn't disappointed. "Hi, Henry. Ready for your show?"

"It'll be great, Uncle Spence, just wait and see. We've been practicing and practicing…."

His teacher called the class together, and the adults found seats in the audience, JJ sitting between Garcia and Reid. The short program started with a poem recited by the class, then moved through some of the classic preschool songs like 'Wheels on the Bus' and 'Bingo'. It concluded with a photo montage of the special persons the kids had invited. Reid didn't realize JJ had taken the photo of himself that he saw projected on the screen. It seemed to have been taken at her house, and showed him with Henry on his lap, reading. Reid's face was animated, as though he was acting out the story. The boy was looking up at him, rapt admiration on his face. The picture captured perfectly how Reid felt about Henry, and hoped Henry felt about him. He looked at JJ in thanks, and she squeezed his hand in reply. None of which was lost on Garcia, the technical analyst. And she greatly approved.

After Henry had a chance to feast on some more brownies, the group headed back to JJ's home for lunch. Henry's sugar high came crashing down, and Reid carried him in to his bed for a nap. Garcia was opening a one act play that evening, so begged off early.

"I tried to get Derek to come, but he was tied up. If we're still running next week, why don't you two come and see it?" She was fairly sure Reid would never get around to asking JJ out, so she thought she would do it for him.

"If I can get a sitter," JJ said.

When Reid started to offer to babysit so JJ could go, Garcia gave him a subtle kick. His 'what did I do' look turned quickly to an 'oh, I get it' look when he saw Garcia glaring at him with her eyebrows raised. He added quickly, "Or maybe we could drop him off with Hotch and Jack." Garcia gave an exaggerated nod of approval.

"Give my love to Henry. See you guys on Monday."

Settling into the living room, JJ asked Reid about the journals.

"You seem less disturbed about them than you did before. Have they gotten easier?"

He was nodding. "She still has her good days and bad days, but they're not as dramatic and they're short lived, thank God." He told her about Diana's initial impressions of the team, leaving out her comments about his date with JJ.

"Before I left home this morning, I was reading about the time I thought she was in danger and had her flown to Quantico. When we had the unsub who thought he was the Fisher King….the one who shot Elle."

They both reflected silently for a moment. Although it had been a number of years since either had heard from her, they were still affected by the thought of one of their team being attacked in her own home.

"Poor Mom was terrified to fly. I didn't even think about that when I asked them to bring her to us. I was just thinking that she was in danger, and I needed to make her safe. She was scared, and furious with me. She makes that very clear in her journal."

JJ recalled, "I remember being so confused that this stranger who was in our conference room turned out to be your mother. And she helped us solve the case! But when we talked in Las Vegas…..when she was in the hospital….she had no memory of meeting me."

"That was part of the illness. All through my childhood, she would forget who people were…..not just like when she didn't recognize me at all, that was the worst of it. But every day she would meet someone and then, if she met them again the next day, she'd have forgotten who they were. She got good at covering it up, but the problem never went away."

"So how did she remember the Fisher King?"

"I've wondered about that myself. But I think it was because she recognized his voice, and wasn't looking at his face." He was shaking his head. "It's so strange. People think that treated schizophrenics don't hear voices, but they're wrong. They just learn to deal with them, and become strong enough to do it. I think my mother was especially sensitive to voices because she needed to pay attention to sorting out which to listen to and which to ignore."

JJ was silent for a while. She'd never considered the full extent of Diana's illness. Doing so now made her admire Reid's mother more than she ever had. Aloud, she said, "She must have been so very strong to have done all she did. Especially at the end…."

Reid took it up. "Especially at the end, when she was off her meds and the voices were no doubt starting to crowd her again." He looked at JJ. "I always loved my mother, JJ…..but I've never admired her more than when I look back at how she stood up to her illness, how she went through those final days. It's probably a strange thing to say, considering, but I think I am a very lucky man to have had her for a mother."

Sitting next to him on the sofa, JJ took his hand. She was surprised at how easily Reid gave it now. They were becoming increasingly comfortable with one another, and he no longer eschewed physical contact…..at least with her.

"You are a very lucky man, Spencer Reid. And your mother was blessed with having a son who was willing to look past her symptoms to see the woman beneath. I can only hope Henry loves me enough one day to see past all of my faults."

"You don't have any faults, JJ." It was out before he realized he'd said it.

She gave him her raised eyebrows as she left to get Henry up from his nap.