A/N: It took a long time to update this story, but there was a lot that had to be said.
Okay, so this chapter starts off a few days before the first one and then catches up to where we are in the story, just so you can get a little back story on Logan and Kendall without having to do one big long flashback, because everything in the first couple of days is pretty important. So after this chapter everything should be all caught up and on the same page.
Also, this is connected to another story of mine entitled "Until Death Do us Part." It's a J2 fic that you do not need to read in order to understand this, but that is why there are actors from Supernatural scattered in throughout this story. Co-written by bordoutofmymind. You should definitely go read some of the stories he has. They're pretty damn awesome.
Okay, without further ado, here is chapter two, enjoy.
LOGAN POV
Walking to Kendall's house to tell him how I actually feel about him. I've been in love with him since the first time I met him in 6th grade when he stopped Jett from bulling me, and ever since then we have been friends, but I've all was wanted to be more. When my parents died when I was 16, Kendall was there for me and he even convinced his mom to let me live with them so I wouldn't have to go into foster care and that made me love for him grow even stronger, 'I can't take it any longer I need to tell him' I thought to myself making my way up the stairs to his apartment. Kendall gave me a key so I could come over whenever I want, entering his apartment.
"Hey Kend…" I start to say as my eyes grow wide at the sight of my best friend kissing Camille.
"Hey Logan what you doing here?" Kendall said.
"Oh…Just came by to see what you're up to." I lied. "So are you two dating now?" I asked wondering why they were kissing trying to keep my cool.
"Oh…Um I don't know if we are or not." He said as Camille left without saying a word to me.
"Oh okay well I need to get going I'll see you later. Bye Kendall." I said turning around and leave I heard Kendall said 'but you just got here,' but I just kept going. As I left the apartment complex I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
Once I got in my car I started it right away, wiping the tears out of my eyes. My mind worked in over time thinking about what I just saw. 'Kendall's the only person I have,' I kept thinking. It's true; he's the only person who has always been there for me. He was the reason I didn't kill myself after my parents died, but now what? What am I going to do now that the person I am in love with is with someone else?
All of those feelings and thoughts about just ending my life flared up in my thoughts and took them over. My eyes welled up with tears once more, blurring my vision, and I wiped them out of the way.
Once I pulled into my driveway, I quickly got out of the car and rushed into my home, fumbling with the keys at the door as the tears poured from my eyes. I shut the door behind me, not bothering to lock it, and went to the living room. I curled up into a ball on the couch and continued crying my eyes out.
All that kept running through my head was the image of Kendall kissing Camille. Each time I replayed it in my memory it hurt more and more.
I must have cried myself to sleep because I woke up, still on the couch in the dark. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out to look at it.
Kendall's name flashed across the screen, I ignored the call and saw that I had seven missed calls, five voicemails, and ten texts from him. I couldn't bring myself to reply to them, not now anyways. I locked my phone and tossed it beside me on the couch. I reached over to turn on the lamp, but the room remained dark.
I felt around on the couch and grabbed my phone. I used it as a light and shown it in the direction of the outlet to see that the cord was unplugged. I put my phone back on the couch and I reached down trying to put the prongs into the socket.
Something must have gone wrong because right as I was plugging it in, I felt a wave run through my entire body. I couldn't control the movements of my body, and before I knew it I was on the floor and darkness surrounded me once more, only this time it felt empty.
"Logan wake up, please wake up." I heard and it felt like a dream. "Logan, please wake up, just please be okay." The voice was pleading, but soft. "You can't go now, I need you here. You're my best friend, I can't lose you. Not now, not when I have so much I haven't told you; that I was too afraid to tell you. God, I'm stupid. Just wake up, Logan, and everything will be better." The voice was distorted by sobs and was strained into a heavy whisper, but I could recognize that voice anywhere; it was Kendall's voice.
'What a weird dream,' was all I could think before silence and darkness surrounded me once more.
I felt something wrap around my hand. "Why isn't he awake yet? I thought you said it wasn't that bad!" Yelling filled the room and the grip around my hand grew tighter.
"People recover at different rates; you need to be patient, sir." A calm but stern voice said.
In return to the calm voice was another yell. "He's laying here in this hospital bed in a fucking coma, when you said the damages weren't that bad! Three days later, he's still in a coma, so I'll let him be calm right now, while I freak the fuck out, thank you!" The familiarity of the voice hit me; no mistaking it, this was Kendall. A very upset Kendall, but him none the less.
"Sir, you do need to be calm. We cannot rush his recovery; that will do no one any good. He will come to when his body is good and ready." The calm voice said and then a door shut.
'This dream just keeps getting weirder and weirder,' I couldn't help but think. 'What has Kendall so upset? I've never heard him yell at someone like that. And who's in a coma? What could possibly possess me to dream of something like this?' My thoughts were running wild, but they all amounted to one thing. 'Kendall.'
Kendall.
"Logan?" I heard him almost shout.
"Kendall?" I tried to say, but it came out raspy and near non-existent.
"Logan! Oh my god, I thought you'd never wake up! Open your eyes, Logie, open your eyes." His voice boomed in my ear, although his tone was different than the last time he was yelling. His words weren't filled with rage, but with joy.
'Open my eyes? This is a dream, right?' I thought as his voice repeated, "Come on, I heard you talk, you said my name, just open your eyes." His voice was pleading once again, but there was still a hint of joy in his voice. Maybe not joy, maybe it was hope. Either way, he sounded much happier than he did just a moment ago.
I began to open my eyes, and quickly the darkness I had become so accustomed to was replaced by very bright lights. I shut my eyes, quickly and squeezed them shut. I tried again, this time slower, allowing my eyes a moment to adjust.
Once they did, they settled upon the only face I wanted to see: Kendall.
He had a huge smile on his face and tears in his eyes. The warmth I had felt on my hand left as he threw his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
'Was he holding my hand?' My thoughts screamed in my head.
"Hey Kendall," I said a little confused, my voice still raspy because of a dry throat.
"Oh my god, Logan, I didn't think you were going to wake up? What the hell happened? Why didn't you answer my calls after you left my house?" He shot out question after question without leaving me time to answer, let alone comprehend what was happening.
"Ken, you need to slow down," I said trying to interrupt him, but he continued talking.
"Oh, are you okay? Should I go get a nurse? Are you in pain? I'll go see if they have any medicine for that." He said quickly then let go of me and began walking out of the room.
"Kendall stop!" I yelled, hurting my throat, and he finally turned and looked at me. "What is going on? Why are you freaking out? And where am I?" I asked him, slowly.
He walked up to me and put his hand on mine again.
"You're in the hospital. You electrocuted yourself the other day. You've been out of it for about three days now. Logan, do you remember what happened?" He asked, concern filling in his voice.
I remember leaving his house crying because he was kissing Camille, and driving home. I also remember thinking a lot about killing myself. "Oh my god, did I try to kill myself?" I screamed out in realization.
Kendall's eye widened. "You did what? Why?"
The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I remember going to your house and seeing you and Camille kissing, then leaving right after. I was crying and I was upset and I remember feeling exactly how I felt after my parents died. All I wanted to do was die; that's the last thing I remember: thinking of ways to die. But electrocution? I don't remember thinking about that."
I knew I was rambling, but my mind was on overload and I couldn't stop. Not until I looked up at Kendall and saw him silently freaking out. "But why? Why would you want to kill yourself?" His voice was broken and low. His eyes were torn and he looked on the verge of tears.
I wanted to lie to him, so bad. I wanted to tell him something that had absolutely nothing to do with him, and just move on from this. I had already shared too much because I don't have a damn filter on my mouth, but not this time. Now I have the control to tell a bold faced lie that will be better for both of us in the long run. "I saw you and Camille kissing, and it broke my heart because it should have been me. I took off because I couldn't face you after that, not when I've had such strong feelings for so long and in one second the person I love and want to be with is kissing someone else. I just couldn't do it."
'What the fuck? Could I not just keep one fucking thing to myself? No, I had to go and spill my heart out to him and probably ruin our friendship forever. Nice going Logan.'
My mind continued beating itself up until Kendall said the last thing I had expected. "Dude, if you like Camille, go for it. I don't like her like that anyway. The kiss just kind of happened, and neither of us really expected it or felt anything from it. If you want her, go for it man, you deserve to be happy." His eyes faltered as he said this, and he looked even more torn than a moment ago.
"You think I like Camille?" I asked incredulously, and I regretted the words immediately. 'I was safe! He didn't know I was talking about him, but I ruined that now. Fuck.'
"Dude, you just said you love her." He said, looking at me I was finally feeling the effects of the accident.
I shook my head, "No. I just said I love you."
Kendall's P.O.V
I just stared at him wide-eyed, 'this can't be happening, he must be kidding' I thought to myself.
"You're kidding right?" I said, he shook his head no. "What the fuck Logan." I yelled, I saw him flinch but I didn't care I was too angry. "I'm not gay. And if I was why would I want to be with you." I spat.
"I'm…sorry" He said looking down accidently, my anger fading away when I saw him start crying. 'How can I be so stupid' I mentally yelled. "No. Logan I should be the one to say sor-" I tried to say but was cut off.
"No., I get it Kendall just fucking leave like everyone does, I never want to see you again, just…just leave." He yelled through sobs.
"No! Logan Listen to me, I'm not going anywhere you understand me." I said sternly putting my hand on his shoulder. "Logan you're my best friend, I'm sorry I just yelled at you, I don't know what came over me, and I am truly sorry, I'm not going to leave you." I said, pulling him into a quick hug as he nodded his head. "I think when you're released from the hospital we need to get you some professional help."
"Yeah I think you're right." he said.
"I'm always right." I said smugly.
"Don't push it Knight." He said elbowing me in the side.
After about an hour Logan fell asleep, I creped out of the room making sure not to wake him up, pulling my phone out of my pocket I decided to call on of my close friends, Jordan, to see if she would be able to get a job at the palm-woods mental institution.
"Hello."
"Hey it's me, Kendall."
"Oh hey what's up?"
"Nothing much, but can you do me a huge favor?" I said in a begging tone.
"Um…What is it?" She asked.
"Well I was kind of wondering if you could get a job at the Palm-woods mental institution." I said pleading; I heard her sigh.
"Why?"
So I told her everything that has happened and that I needed her to take up the job to keep an eye on Logan just in case, after a lot of begging she finally agreed, saying she'd call in any favors she could to get a job there. After I hung up the phone I went back to the room to see that Logan is still asleep, sitting down on one of the chairs my eyes started to feel heavier as they slowly closed and I drifted off to sleep.
The next afternoon Logan got released from the hospital I told him how we were going to the palm-woods metal institution, he just simply nodded his head looking out the window of the car not saying a word at all. We finally made it there after 20 minutes of driving silently, after I parked the car I texted Jordan telling her I'm here and she replied back saying she would be there in 10 minutes.
I sighed knowing full well I should talk to him before she gets here. "Hey," I said softly, he turned to face me, I could see how scared he is right now. "Logan everything is going to be okay." I said sternly.
"How do you know Kendall? How can you be so sure? You don't know anything. What if they can't fix me? What if I try to do it again? Huh? What then?" He said on the verge of tears.
"Logan look at me." I said tilting his head so he could look at me. "I know because you're you, Logan you can get though anything, all always be by your side no matter what, you understand me?" I said as he nodded his head, I pulled him into a tight hug that meant everything will be okay. I think he knew what I was trying to say because he stopped crying.
We pulled apart and my phone vibrated I looked at the screen seeing I had at text from Jordan saying she was here, we got out of the car, I told him one last time that everything will be alright and with that we proceeded to the entrance.
Walking up to the doors we see Jordan standing there looking at me and kind of glaring at Logan but I just shrug it off, I see Logan look at me confused.
Logan's P.O.V
'What is she doing here?' I thought to myself when I looked in front of me and saw Jordan standing there.
When Kendall looked at me, I grabbed his arm, stopping him before we got to her. "I'm telling you, Logan, it'll be okay." He said, continuing to reassure me.
I shook my head, "No, Ken. What is she doing here?"
He looked up at Jordan and back to me, "Oh uh, she might work here." He said, looking away from me. "Come on, let's go in."
I was stunned. Jordan is one of Kendall's friends who I've only met a few times, but in those few times it's been clear she really doesn't like me. Every time we'd seen each other, each time I'd look at her, my stare would be met with a glare. It's always been obvious to me that she has feelings for Kendall, and I guess it's always been obvious to her that I've had feelings for him as well. I suppose the only one oblivious to all of this was Kendall.
I shook my head at him, stopping him from moving forward. "No, Kendall. What do you mean, she 'might' work here?" I asked, getting upset.
"She applied for a job here," He shrugged.
I looked at him as though he was stupid, and he cocked his head to the side, "What?"
"Never mind," I spat. "Let's go," I said full of anger as I stormed towards the institution, returning Jordan's glare.
"Hey Jordan," Kendall said happily as we walked in, grabbing my arm tightly to keep me there, before he hugged her.
She hugged him back, "Hey Kendall." I rolled my eyes, wanting to walk away. "Hey Logan," Jordan said, pulling away from Kendall with an edge to her voice.
I nodded and smiled. I know I was being rude, but I couldn't help it.
"Okay, so my shift starts in about twenty minutes," She said, looking back at Kendall.
His eyes widened and a smile crossed his face, "You got the job!" And he pulled her into another hug.
I rolled my eyes, and started to walk to the front desk alone.
"Logan," I heard Kendall call but I kept walking. A few seconds later he was at my side with his hand on my arm. I turned to look at him, fury in my eyes. He winced back a little, shocked at my expression, then regained his composure. "What's wrong with you?"
"Did you have her get a job here to look after me?" I hissed and shock ran across his face.
"Logie," He began.
"No, Kendall, don't say 'Logie' in that voice and expect this to be okay with me. I'm here to get help, but I don't need a fucking babysitter, one that hates me, no less." I said sharply whispering so no one would hear our conversation.
"It's not a babysitter, Logan, she needed a job, and they had an opening here. And she doesn't hate you," Kendall said, trying to soothe me.
It didn't work. "Bullshit." I said flatly and turned to walk to the desk. Once again, Kendall was at my side. "Knight, you'd better go away," I warned as we approached the desk.
"Logan, hear me out, okay," He said, pulling me away from the desk so we could talk. "Okay, so what, I asked her to try and get the job here so she could watch out for you. Sue me for wanting to be sure that you're getting better. Logan, you're my best friend, and I'll do whatever I have to, to make sure that you're okay. I'm not going to lose you, Logan, so If you're going to be mad, be mad, but I know I'm doing the right thing by having Jordan here; for me and you. I know someone is watching out for you, and you aren't all alone in here." He finished, looking at me as if he'd won the argument.
"The one thing wrong with your 'perfect plan' is Jordan doesn't like me. And quite frankly, I don't like her either. It doesn't help, it just makes things worse." I said crossing my arms over my chest, contemplating walking away again. I decided against it because if I did, he would just drag me away again, so it would be pointless.
He sighed, "She doesn't dislike you; you guys just don't know each other. Now's the chance for you to get to know each other, two birds with one stone." He smiled, and pulled me in for a hug when I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away. "It will work out for the best, Logie." He whispered in my ear, causing chills to run down my spine.
After Kendall exploded at me for confessing my love for him, I've been trying to fight back my feelings for him, and him pulling shit like this to piss me off does a pretty good job of it, but when he wraps his arms around me the feelings hit me again.
I hugged him back, "Okay, Kendall. I hope you're right."
We pulled apart just slightly and our eyes locked. If life went how I wanted it to, I would have tilted my head up slightly and our lips would have met. But life doesn't go how I want it to, so after a moment, I completely pulled away from him and we walked to the front desk, where Jordan was now sitting.
As we approached the desk, Jordan dropped a clipboard with what seemed like a ton of papers on it for me to fill out, and turned to the nurse beside her who was running through everything she needed to know.
I walked away from the desk to go sit down and fill out the papers, and Kendall followed me.
He sat very close to me, with his arm thrown over the back of my chair. I could feel the warmth of his body against mine, once again causing me to shudder. I glanced up and saw Jordan do a double take and glare at me before returning back to learning from the nurse.
"That's just great," I whispered to myself.
"What?" Kendall asked.
'Fuck.' "Nothing," I answered.
He leaned in and looked at the paperwork I was filling out, "Need any help?" He asked, eyeing it.
With each breath I took, I was inhaling his scent and it was intoxicating. I would have loved nothing more than to always be this close to Kendall.
You're joking, right? I'm not gay!
The memory of him screaming these words at me brings me back to reality. I moved away from him slightly. "Kendall, it's going to be hard enough in here as it is, with Jordan. I know you say she doesn't hate me, but I say she does. And you being close to me in front of her is not going to make it easier on me."
He looked extremely confused. "What are you talking about?"
I sighed. "It's just easier if you go over there and get whatever information you can about my stay here from Jordan and relay it back to me. I'll finish the paperwork up here."
He looked at me with a strange expression for a moment before he nodded, stood up and walked over to Jordan.
I buried my face in my hands for a moment before quickly going through all of the paperwork in front of me. Once I finished, I got up and went over to the desk to give Jordan the clipboard.
"Okay, I'm going to take these back and start to get them processed, then we'll both get a tour of the place, and Kendall you can come back during the visiting hour tomorrow."
Kendall said goodbye to her before she went into a door behind the desk, and I started walking him towards the exit, not wanting him to have to leave.
He went through what she had told him about when visitors are allowed, and the seventy-two hour minimum stay here. After he had quickly gone through that, my eyes must have given away how much I did not want to do this.
"It will be okay," he said pulling me into a tight hug.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him to me. "You don't know that."
He lowered his head a little bit so his mouth was at my ear as he whispered, "Of course I do, you'll be fine, Logie."
I pulled back slightly to look at him, maybe to see if his eyes would betray the confidence in his voice, but they didn't. His arms were still around my neck and shoulders, and mine around his waist, and he leaned forward and our lips met. The kiss was soft and gentle, but his lips were gone soon after they met mine.
We stood there, our bodies still touching, but our faces pulled away looking at each other. A blush covered his cheeks. "Kend-"
"Logan, come on," I heard Jordan say, and we broke apart fast.
"I'll see you tomorrow Logan," Kendall said quickly and turned to leave.
I stood there frozen for a moment before turning to face Jordan, who probably just saw Kendall kiss me. I slowly walked over to her. "You ready?" She asked, and I nodded my head. And we allowed the Nurse to lead us around the facility and tell us where everything was. I avoided talking to or even looking at Jordan, but each time our eyes would happen to meet, her face would go cold as if her eyes were bearing into my soul and ripping it to shreds. These were looks I would rather not have to face, but the more pressing issue at the moment was 'why the fuck did Kendall kiss me?'
Finally I was shown to my room, after being explained the normal routine here; the group, the therapy, and the visiting hour, but seeing as I was admitted after all of that, I would start with it tomorrow. I collapsed on my bed, seeing there was another bed in the room. 'Great I have a roommate.' I said to myself as I threw my arms over my head to cover my face. I closed my eyes tight and allowed my mind to wander.
"Hello?" I heard a voice question from the other side of the room.
I moved my arms and sat up. "Hey, I'm Logan." I said in a friendly tone, forcing a smile.
He walked in slowly and sat at the edge of his bed. "Hi, I'm Jake."
"I guess I'm your new roommate." I said filling in the awkward silence.
"Oh, that's cool. When did you get here? Did they show you around?" He asked, starting to relax a little.
"Uh, not too long ago; and yeah I got showed around."
"Okay. Well, most of the people are in the rec room, I can introduce you to a friend of mine, if you'd like." He offered.
"Oh sure, that'd be nice, thanks." I answered and both of us got up and I followed him out of the room.
As we walked to the rec room, we were both quiet. "Erin, this is Logan. He's my new roommate."
The dark skinned girl reached out a hand, and with a smile said, "Hi Logan."
I reached out and shook her hand, returning the smile, "Hi Erin, nice to meet you."
"We were just about to watch some random movie. It probably sucks, but at least it's something. Wanna join?" She asked, sitting down and gesturing to a couple open seats.
I nodded my head, "Sure, sounds fun." I said sitting down beside her.
We spent the next couple of hours watching a really horrible movie, and laughing all the way through it.
After the movie was over we all went to our respective rooms. After Jake and I got dressed for bed and laid down on our beds, he broke the silence. "So, how'd you do it?"
The questioned confused me at first, but then I understood. "I uh.. I electrocuted myself." I said quietly.
"You what?" He asked, alarmed.
"Yeah, I don't know how I did it. I can't remember. One second I'm seriously contemplating suicide, then the next I'm in the hospital." I replied.
"Wow, that's," he trailed off, trying to find the right words to use, "intense."
I nodded my head, still laying on my back looking at the ceiling. "Yeah, but it wasn't too bad. I didn't suffer from any bad burns, and no brain damage. The only thing is I can't remember anything from a few hours before I did it, and then I was unconscious for about three days." I explained, calmly.
Jake was silent for a while, and then out of the corner of my eye I saw him shift and he was laying on his side looking at me. "Why did you want to kill yourself?" He asked, softly.
My story came out like word vomit. "I was going to confess my love for my best friend, but as I walked in, I saw him kissing someone else." I paused, realizing that it sounds so childish, and quickly amending it. "He is pretty much the only person I have. He's always been there for me and over the years it has killed me not to say anything to him about how I feel. And then once I finally got up the courage to do it, and was confident about it, his tongue was down some bitch's throat." I sighed. "I just lost it. I couldn't see him with her, not when it was so close to being me, so I left. And then I realized, not seeing him meant I once again had no one." I finally stopped, wiping the tears from my eyes before they could fall down my cheeks.
He allowed me time to compose before asking me more questions. "What's the last thing you remember?"
I paused for a second, thinking about how nosy this guy was, but at the same time, I didn't care. It was nice to have someone to talk to about this. "I was in the car, crying, thinking about dying."
"Maybe.." He trailed off and I turned on my side to face him as well. "Maybe you didn't try to kill yourself."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, not understanding what he was saying.
He sat up and looked at me. "Hear me out. I thought about it long and hard before I decided to go and kill myself. It wasn't on a whim, and it's the same with everyone else in here. I see you were devastated, but something about you seems like you would have thought about it a lot longer before doing it." He reasoned.
I understood what he was saying, but the pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly how they were, so it must be right. I shook my head. "When it comes to affairs of the heart, I'm not my rational self though. All I know it how I felt prior to the electrocution, and now I'm here." I shrugged.
Jake sighed, "Okay." And he laid back don on his bed.
"What about you?" I asked.
"Oh, long story short. I got jealous and concerned that my fiancé was cheating on me and it got to the point where I was about to jump off of a building. But he stopped me." He said nonchalantly as my jaw dropped. I stared at him with hide eyes until he finally turned his head and looked at me. He shrugged. "I get kind of dramatic when it comes to the people I love; person I love; well just him actually. He's the only one I love enough to make me go crazy like this," He ended with a sigh.
I shook my head then laid back on my back.
I fell asleep soon after, and awoke to Jake shaking my shoulder. "Come have breakfast with Erin and I."
I whipped the sleep out of my eyes before nodding my head. "Mmmkay. Give me a minute?"
He nodded his head and walked away as my whole body stretched out. I got up and went to the bathroom before going to have breakfast with Jake and Erin.
We sat there for a while as they asked me about when my group and therapy sessions were and with who. As I told them they both smiled and told me they have the same group, with Misha, right before visiting hour.
After we ate, I went and took a shower and got dressed before going to see my therapist.
The conversation was very similar to the conversation I had with Jake last night, but I was less open with him. Jake asked because he cared to know, it was more like us becoming friends. This doctor just asks because it's his job, and it made me hold back.
Right after the horrid therapy session, I went to have lunch with Jake and Erin. They both noticed that I wasn't in a good mood. "So, after this we have group with Misha and then it's the visiting hour." Erin said with a smile on her face. "Is someone going to come and visit?" She asked.
"Yeah… No.. I don't know, actually." I said, the mixture of the image of Kendall kissing me and then the one of him screaming at me that he wouldn't want me running through my head.
"What about your friend you told me about?" Jake asked.
I shook my head. "Yeah, well if anyone does visit me it will be him, but I just don't know anymore." I said quietly lowering my head.
They both took the hint and stopped talking about it.
We soon went to the group therapy and found our seats around the room, the tree of us sitting together.
I listened to a couple of people share their stories; and they nearly brought me to tears for two reasons. One being that so many people are hurting so much and they see no hope in the situation, and feel that they just need to kill themselves to better the lives of everyone else, including their own. And the second because now I see that when I get like this, I'm not alone, and that hit me hard. I thought about sharing my story, but decided against it, even though everyone here was very supportive, I wasn't ready.
I walked with Erin and Jake to the tables to wait for the visitors to come in. We dispersed once we got to the room, each person heading to where they meet their visitor. I just waited in the middle of the room, not sure if Kendall was going to show up.
Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw the tall blonde and I turned to get a better view. He was talking to Jordan. I sighed and sat down, figuring if he even came to talk to me, he would find me.
After a few minutes, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hey Logie," said the familiar voice softly.
I didn't want to look up at him just yet, so I kept my eyes on my fiddling thumbs, "Hey Kendall."
He sat down next to me. "How's it going in here?" His voice was soft, as though he was trying to be careful. Although I should have welcomed the gesture, it only infuriated me.
"Don't talk to me like I'm going to snap at any second, Kendall!" I barked at him.
He winced at the volume of my voice, and rubbed his hand in circles on my back, trying to calm me down. "Well, Logan, when you snap at me like that, how am I supposed to talk to you? Do you want me to yell back; because I sure as hell don't want to get into a fight with you right now." He said, sharply.
I sighed and the anger subsided quickly. "I'm sorry Kendall. You've kind of got me going crazy here." I said honestly.
"What are you talking about?" he asked genuinely, causing me to stare at him with wide eyes.
I felt the anger rising in me once again, and tears welled up in my eyes, but I fought them back. 'You will have control right now." I thought to myself. "Why did you kiss me yesterday, Kendall?" I asked in a cold voice.
His eyes dropped, but I didn't move. I waited for his eyes to lock with mine again. Right as they did, he answered, "I don't know, I just did."
I shook my head, keeping eye contact, "Not good enough, Kendall. You all but ruined out friendship when you said you would never want me. You just about broke my heart, but you're my best friend and I decided I'll get over it. But then you up and kiss me? What the fuck?" I said, sternly.
"Logan, I.."
"Hey Logan," Jordan's voice rang out, causing me to glare up at her.
"What do you want?" I asked sharply and she glared down at me.
Kendall hit my back, causing Jordan to showcase a cocky grin. "What he means is, what's up, Jordan?"
I shot a glare to Kendall, wanting to say, 'No, what I mean is, go the fuck away.' But I held my tongue, and forced a smile up at her.
She stayed for the remainder of the hour, clearly upsetting me, but neither of them paid me any attention. So I sat there looking around and someone caught my eye. He was this hot Latino, with short dark hair, amazing arms, and a smile that made me melt inside. "Whoa," I said out loud and Kendall looked at me.
"What?" He said, and my head snapped around to face him. I looked at him with questioning eyes, and he asked again, "You said 'whoa.' Why?"
I shrugged as innocently as possible. "No reason." I saw Jordan roll her eyes, and she started talking to Kendall again, so I turned my attention back to the sexy Latino across the room.
It took me a second to realize he was sitting with Jake. They were holding hands, and then started kissing. 'That's his fiancé.' I made a mental note.
"Hey Jordan, it's great talking to you, but I want to say bye to Logan. I'll talk to you later, okay." I heard Kendall say, making me turn my head towards the two of them again. They hugged each other and Jordan walked away.
"Did you two have a nice conversation?" I asked sarcastically.
"Can't the two of you try to get along?" He sighed, sitting down beside me putting an arm over my shoulder.
"She hates me; I hate her. We have a mutual distaste for each other, can't we just leave it at that?" I asked with a smile.
He laughed and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him to me. "Whoa," I heard him whisper, causing me to pull back and look at his face.
"'Whoa' what?" I asked. When he didn't answer I turned my head to follow his gaze. It fell upon a tall, long haired, perfect hair at that, dark skinned beauty across the room. He was talking to Erin. I turned back to Kendall, and cocked an eyebrow. "Wow." I said, and pulled free from him.
He snapped out of it and looked at me. "What?"
I shook my head, feeling an abundance of anger towards him, once again. "I've known you most of my life and I still haven't figured you out Kendall. One day you yell at me saying you're not gay, the next day you kiss me, and then the next day you're checking out another guy. I'm sorry, I'm just a little confused here." I said standing up.
"There are five minutes left of this visiting hour," Rang over the PA system.
Kendall grabbed my hand, "Sit back down."
I did as he said and softened my tone. "Kendall, I really just need to understand what's going on here. Not as the guy who has feelings for you, but also as your best friend. I'm still your best friend, right?" I asked, our hands still touching.
His grip tightened around my hand, sending chills down my back. He locked eyes with me, "Of course you are, Logan. You'll always be my best friend."
"Then tell me what's going on," I said in a whisper.
There was a pause that seemed to last forever, I was afraid someone was going to come and tell Kendall to leave before I could get my answer. "Logie, I just don't know how I feel."
I thought that over then asked him, "Ken, why'd you blow up at me like that when I told you how I felt, back at the hospital?"
"Logan, I really am so sorry about that. When you said that it caught me off guard, and I've been seeing guys differently lately and I don't know how I feel about it and then you said that and I freaked out. I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I swear." He said really fast and I put a hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay."
He sighed, "So," The word dragged on. "Logie, I.." And once again he was cut off.
"Kendall, it's time for you to go. You can come back and see Logan tomorrow." Jordan said, smiling sweetly to Kendall.
He nodded his head, "Okay, I just needed to say one thing," He said and turned to me.
"I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow," Jordan insisted, and this time Kendall sighed and stood up. 'Fuck.'
I stood up, shooting daggers a Jordan as Kendall pulled me into a hug. I hugged him tightly. His mouth was close to my ear as he whispered, "Logie, you're my best friend and I love you. I'll come see you tomorrow." He then kissed my cheek quickly before pulling away.
I just stared at him with my jaw dropped as Jordan walked him out.
I caught another quick glance at Jake's fiancé as he left before heading back to my room.
That night after dinner, Jordan came to our room and gave Jake a little cup that had one pill in it and gave me one that had four in it. Jake and I both looked up at her. "Isn't four pills a bit too many?" Jake asked.
"Yeah, what is it for anyway?" I asked her.
She shook her head, "They're anti-depressants, and that is what your doctor prescribed for you."
Jake and I looked down at the pills I had. "They're four different types of pills though." I said, confused.
She shrugged. "I didn't prescribe them for you; I just have to make sure you take them. If you have a problem with it, take it up with your doctor tomorrow. Tonight, you have to take them all." She said, putting a hand on her wait, as if to say 'I'm waiting.'
I looked nervously at Jake who returned the look. Then I swallowed each pill. I saw her smirk as she turned and walked out, but I shrugged it off.
About ten minutes later the pills kicked in, and I was in a haze. My body felt difficult to move, and I was very happy that I was already in my bed.
"Hey, are you okay?" I heard Jake ask, but his voice was distorted and sounded distant.
I tried to reply but I couldn't form words.
Before I knew it darkness surrounded me.
I awoke in the morning the same way I had the previous morning; to Jake shaking my shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and nodded my head. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"You scared me last night." He said taking a few steps back.
That statement confused me. "Uh, I don't know how but no, I'm fine." I said, looking at him like he was crazy.
"Okay good. You should really talk to your therapist about changing that prescription. That can't be good for you. Anyways, I'm going to go grab breakfast with Erin, you can join us when you wake up." Jake said walking out of the room.
'Prescription? What prescription? How did I scare him?' My mind was going over everything Jake had just said to me. What was he talking about? I shook it off and went to go take a shower before grabbing breakfast with Erin and Jake.
As I left my room I passed Jordan who grinned at me.
'What is going on?'
So, I know this is a really long chapter, but it needed to be to get all of the information out.
Now that everyone has been introduced and all of that jazz, the real drama can start happening.
So, review review review! Let me know what you think of the characters and their initial relationships and where you see this story going, even if only from the intros.
How do you like that it's set around suicide and mental institutions?
Opinions, criticisms, predictions, anything. Just review.
Thank you, for reading. Hopefully the next chapter will be put up relatively soon. .