Note: I really wanted to stay with Spencer's voice throughout this story, but I felt this chapter needed Derek's perspective as well. Very likely I will be jumping back and forth between the two going forward. Apologies for the long delay in posting. Work has been insane.

Spencer wished more than anything that he could speak at this moment, if only to let Derek know that the fight they had just had was ridiculous, and stupid, and a complete waste of time. If he had known he was only moments away from collapsing, and lord only knew what was going to happen now, there were a million other ways he could have spent the morning. And forefront in his mind was spending it in Derek's arms.

From the smell of leather where he laid his head, and the jerky movements surrounding him, he was sure he was curled up in the back seat of a car. It was becoming difficult to hold back his already building nausea. The pounding in his head was fierce and unrelenting, and he dug his fingers into the seat of the car near his cheek.

"We're almost there, kiddo," it was Derek's voice, but it was hardly recognizable. He sounded so very, very far away, and absolutely terrified. Derek Morgan didn't do terrified.

Spencer clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut tight against the pain. He wanted to tell Derek he was fine but he couldn't find his voice. Not only that, but it was very clearly not true.

"Stay with me, Spencer. You're going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine."

He could hear the desperation beneath the words, but he needed to believe them, because he was pretty sure his brain was breaking into a million pieces. If he could think straight at all he was sure he would be able to find a plausible reason, but all he could possible register right now was indescribable agony.

He felt the car lurch to a stop and heard the sound of the engine being killed. He wanted to pull himself upright but knew there wasn't a chance in Hell. A moment later, the car door opened, and then Derek was grabbing him and pulling him out of the car, lifting him into his strong arms. At the movement, Spencer's head reverberated with a fresh shock of pain and he cried out before burying his face in Derek's chest, cutting off a sob.

"I'm sorry," Derek's voice was agonized. "I'm so sorry, baby. We're almost there."

He was jostled again as the older agent took off toward the hospital, and Spencer heard the rumbling of voices as they burst through the door. The cacophony of sounds in the emergency room seemed to bombard him from all sides.

"Help!" Derek's voice boomed out, his chest vibrating against Spencer's cheek. "I need help!"

Voices grew closer now as people gathered around them and Spencer tried to shut himself off from the chaos, burying his face in Derek's chest.

"He collapsed…his head…"

"…how long…?"

"…got him here as soon as I could…"

"…need to move him now!"

There was shouting and then he was being lowered down onto something soft and realized it was a gurney. He tensed up, knowing he needed to trust the doctors but suddenly unable to let go of Derek. He twisted his fingers into the agent's shirt and held fast. "Derek…no…" he gasped the words.

Derek's voice was close to his ear. "It's going to be okay, baby. They're going to take care of you."

He strengthened his grip, desperate to keep the older agent close. "Please don't leave me."

"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere, kiddo. I'm going to wait right here. I'll be waiting for you."

There were hands grabbing at him now, pulling him away from Derek, and he cried out in fear. "No!"

"You're okay, Spencer. Let the doctor's take care of you." He could hear Derek's voice shaking, close to tears, as his fingers were pried off the older agent's shirt.

He wanted to keep resisting, but he didn't stand a chance. Any strength he was running on right now was pure adrenaline, and he was ready to collapse. His heart was pounding in his chest and his blood pulsing in his ears. He knew he had to trust the doctors, had to go with them, but he was fucking terrified. What if he didn't wake up? What if this was his last moment with Derek?

They won, eventually, and Spencer was laid out on the gurney, Derek being torn away from his grasp. He felt a hand stroking over his hair. "You're going to be fine, Spencer. I swear to you, everything is going to be okay. I'll be with you again soon."

"Derek…" his voice was fading. He felt a soft kiss on his forehead and reached out, but then they were moving, leaving Derek behind.

He felt hot tears on his cheeks, crying both from pain and fear. A sudden prick of a needle in his arm and he knew he would soon be unconscious whether he wanted it or not. He held fast to the memory of Derek's voice, to the feel of his touch, as he was pulled under deep. Finally, blessedly, the pain was gone.

X

Derek stood, and stared, unable to move a muscle in his body. He was fixed as rigidly as a statue to the spot where he had said goodbye to Spencer only a moment before, and he couldn't take his eyes off the swinging double doors at the end of the hall where his pretty boy had disappeared, surrounded by doctors.

He didn't know what to do. What was he supposed to do? He felt completely, utterly, lost and useless. The moment of Spencer's cry of pain and collapse onto the kitchen floor was playing over and over in his mind on an endless loop. After everything that had happened to the kid, how was this fair. How was this fair?

Hands clenched into fists, he forced himself to turn on his heels and make his way over to a row of uninviting plastic chairs. He slumped down among the group of people looking about as heartsick as he felt, and fished his phone out of his pocket with trembling fingers. There was only one person he could think to call.

She answered on the first ring. "Hey, my chocolate thunder." Her voice was perky as usual and he had to swallow hard against the lump in his throat. It felt strange to know that there were people out there in the world right now that didn't know Spencer Reid could be dying at this very moment.

He realized he hadn't replied when he heard a slightly worried, "Derek? Are you there?"

"Pen," his voice was rough and he cleared his throat. He didn't know what to say. "I…I need you."

She did an immediate 180 to mama bear mode. "Where are you?" she demanded. "What happened?"

"Can…can you meet me at the emergency room?"

"Derek, what happened?"

"It's Spencer. He…I…I was with him and he…"

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know…" when he said it out loud he felt a dam inside himself break. "He collapsed and…I don't know…"

"Morgan hang on, sweetie. I'll be right there. Don't you worry about a thing."

Derek couldn't find his voice again, could only nod, and snapped his phone closed.

The buzz of hospital activity still swirled around him, but he barely paid it any mind. It was amazing how even in the midst of so many people one could feel so completely and utterly alone.

TBD