L was asleep when the car pulled up to the church, stopping by a row of other cars, everyone just starting to head inside. He jerked awake agonizingly when he heard the sound of the engine cut off. At first L waited, expecting Watari to open the door for him, or at least help him out of the car, but the older man remained in his spot, watching him in the rearview mirror.

"L..." Watari hesitated.

"What is it?"

"This is an abysmal time to tell you this. But I think it's necessary for you to know everything, before you go in there."

"Watari, what are you talking about? Did Hitomi-" saying the name stung, "-did she tell you something?"

"No. Not exactly. Her autopsy-" he looked away, dropping his hands from the wheel. "It showed that the accident caused her to have a miscarriage..."

"She what?" It seemed that his heartbeat stumbled over itself, and suddenly the car seemed incredibly small and suffocating. L flung the door open and got out, turning to put his hands on the roof to keep himself from swaying on his feet. Watari climbed out slowly as well, gently placing a hand on L's back as he spoke again, in a softer voice.

"Hitomi was pregnant. Only a few weeks along, she might not have even known..." Watari's voice seemed to fade out as L's memory took over him.

'L-san, what do you think about... kids?'

"God DAMN IT!" his voice seemed to echo across the gravel parking lot, causing a few of the others to look their way before continuing on. Watari flinched at the sound, not used to the other man get even close to yelling.

"So it was you..." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, regaining his equilibrium and focusing on trying to help his ward do the same. "L, calm down. You're-"

"No! I don't believe this! She lied to me- she..." he pressed a hand to his ribs, wincing through the pain. "And I told her... she asked me... and I said abortion was-" He finally stopped, bending down when the unsteady pounding in his chest and his ribs made his breath come in painful, shallow gasps and his vision double. Keeping a hand on the side of the car for support, he wheezed a few breaths until Watari bent down to help him up, easing him back onto the seat with his legs hanging out of the door.

"Please try and remain calm, L. It's a big enough risk for you to be here in this condition anyway, if you should aggravate your injuries you might puncture a lung, or worse, send yourself back into cardiac arrest-"

"Right," L mumbled, swiping the sweat from his forehead then running a hand through his hair. "I apologize, Watari. I shouldn't have shouted at you." The older man was stunned for a moment by the apology, but when he looked up to see that almost everyone had gone inside the church, he moved to help the detective to his feet. L stood and shook off Watari's hands, muttering something about crutches being bad enough without being feigned over, but hesitating until the elder began to head for the doors to do the same.

He followed just behind Watari, cringing when he saw a middle aged woman greeting everyone at the church doors. She was wearing a black kimono and trying not to cry. When they reached her, Watari bowed and spoke a few soft words, then continued inside, leaving L alone.

"Ohayo gozaimasu..." he muttered, bowing slightly. The woman returned the gesture.

"Ohayo gozaimasu. Thank you for coming." Her accent was thick. She must've had a hard time learning English. She was staring at him, making him a little paranoid, when she suddenly asked, "How did you know my... mei..."

"Niece," he supplied the word. She nodded and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief that had been tucked in her sleeve. "I was a friend of the Yagami family, they introduced us. We-" He stopped, not knowing exactly what to say. The woman nodded, obviously picking up something from it anyway, and took his arm.

"Come. Sit with me." He walked with her, unable to shake his focus from the fact that she'd latched onto him until they sat and he realized they were in the very front pew. Just before him, not even ten feet away was her casket, open as her friends bid their final goodbyes to her. He was suddenly gripped with fear, it seemed that his throat tightened and he could hardly breath. If it weren't for the older woman's grasp on his arm, he wasn't positive that we wouldn't have fled the church already. As Matsuyama, Endo, and Yanagimoto filed up to the casket in a small group, souvenirs from the band in hand, L closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

'Have to stay calm,' he thought, turning and opening his eyes.

"Obasan, would you like me to escort you-" He was relieved when she shook her head.

"Iie. I will go on my own. Shall I help you to stand?" She stood and held the crutches steady for him without waiting for him to respond, and within moments he was standing behind the girl who'd picked him and Raito up from the airport. He prayed she wouldn't turn around and recognize him, but when confronted with who approached next, perhaps he should have let Karen-chan cry on him.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Ryuzaki-san." L turned and found himself face to face with both of the Yagami men. The elder had spoken, looking more grave than ever, and L focused on him, not even daring to look at Raito for a sudden fear of what he'd find.

"Good Morning, Yagami-san."

"How are you feeling?" The detective opened his mouth, but made no response, not really sure what to say. It was then that Raito broke into the conversation.

"Watari-san told us it was quite a serious accident, shouldn't you be resting?" Dropping his gaze to the floor, L clenched his jaw. Surely Raito's light tone was suspicious to someone besides himself, right? How could no one notice that he was hardly upset at all?

"I'm quite well enough to pay my respects, Raito-kun. It's not nearly as bad as it looks."

"Regardless," Soichiro cut in, "It's absolutely terrible that this has happened. Tell me something, Ryuzaki-san-" he dropped his voice so only the three of them could hear it, "- do you think Kira has anything to do with this?" Raito looked just as interested as his father.

"Yagami-san, while this is not the time or place to discuss the case, I will tell you this- I'm absolutely positive that Kira had a hand in this."

"You really think so?" Raito asked, wide eyed. "But why Hitomi, of all of us-"

"Raito, keep your voice down," his father scolded. "We can talk about this outside. After the funeral is over." L turned back toward the front of the church just as Karen left and reclaimed a spot in the pews. Shit. He shambled on his crutches to the casket, staring at his feet as he gathered his courage, then finally looked up enough to see her.

"Hitomi." The detective's voice was no more than a sigh. She looked paler than he'd remembered, but that must have something to with make up, even though he knew if he brushed her bangs out of the way, he'd see the cut on her forehead. No makeup could completely cover that...

"Hitomi-chan... why-" She was wearing a deep purple dress, her hands folded primly on her stomach. Come to think of it, she'd worn a lot of purple. Had that been her favorite color?

"-You should've said something sooner. Waiting for Kira to kill you was stupid... " She looked just like she was asleep. Just like she would open her eyes at any moment and say in that tiny, groggy voice she had waking up,

'Ohayo...'

"I told you not to keep any more secrets from me. Why wouldn't you tell me sooner that he was-" His chest was feeling sort of tight again, but he wasn't ready to leave her, he wouldn't leave her again. "Why wouldn't you tell me you were- I could've done more to-"

"Are you all right, Ryuzaki-kun? You're breathing quite heavily." He looked up. Raito again.

"I-"

"Do you need help back to your seat? Watari-san said your leg was in pretty bad shape." L was suddenly sickened by Raito's sympathy, a sense of nausea rising in his throat. He swallowed it back, and spoke with more anger than he'd felt in years.

"How dare you show your face here." The younger man's eyebrows raised in shock.

"Ryuzaki-kun?"

"How dare you come here and flaunt yourself in front of her friends. Her family."

"Are you sure you're okay? You're talking nonsense, Ryuzaki." He called in a louder voice to his father, who was talking with Mogi, Ide and Matsuda. "Dad, come help me get Ryuzaki-kun back to his seat. I don't think he's thinking straight, he might be a little overwhelmed-"

"Don't play innocent with me. I can see right through you. Just like she could." A flash of understanding sparked in the younger's eyes, and he dropped his voice.

"Oh. I see." L was almost unable to breathe in the moment's hesitation. Was he really about to confess? "Hitomi told you about high school, then... Well, let me tell you, it wasn't as bad as she made it sound, it's not like I actually raped her or anything... and we were still very close friends after we broke up. Ryuzaki-kun, I thought there might have been something between the two of you, but-"

"You brazen piece of shit!" L's voice exploded, and he forgot the crutches as he launched himself at Raito, fist connecting squarely with the younger man's jaw as they toppled to the ground. Raito didn't fight back, but as Matsuda and Soichiro pulled the detective off of him, L was sure he saw him smile.

"Ryuzaki, what do you think you're doing? This is a funeral!" Soichiro whispered harshly in his ear. "Control yourself!" As Raito climbed to his feet, massaging a red spot on his cheek that would soon be an ugly bruise, L sighed and shrugged from the other men's grasp.

"I'm sorry, it must be the morphine. I just need some fresh air..." L turned and walked down the long aisle to the door, struggling to balance as he pulled it open. Once he was outside, he hobbled to the car and opened the back door, sitting in the seat with his legs out. It took longer than he'd expected for his anger to subside, and people were emerging from the church by the time he'd mustered the courage to go back in. Watari joined him, watching silently as L stood and waited for Ooka-san to emerge. He approached her slowly, bowing as low as he could manage.

"I apologize for causing such a disturbance, ma'am. I hope you can forgive me for-"

"You really care for her, ne?" The woman's comment threw him off.

"I- I'm sorry?" he stuttered.

"I love my- niece- more than anything in the world. I used to be so jealous that my brother had such a beautiful child when my husband and I could not. But I love Hitomi as if she were my own child."

"I... understand..."

"No, you don't. She had plenty of boyfriends, but they never were right for her. You know... controlling, pushy, cowardly men who needed to take advantage of my dear girl to feel better about themselves. But you... I can tell you're different. Not one of those boys would have fought for her, not even the one you hit. You... my boy, I like. It's too bad really, now that her mother and her have both gone as well, I'll be moving back with my husband..." L wasn't sure where the conversation was going anymore, so he asked,

"Obasan, when will the burial be?"

"Oh, no, She's going to be cremated. Of course, that is usually family only... just me really... and I will take her to the family plot with her parents." She bowed and excused herself, leaving L standing momentarily alone in the middle of the parking lot.

A/N: small translation note- ohayo gozaimasu is good morning, in a more formal sense than ohayo on its own. mei is niece, which may have been a bit self explanatory, given the immediate translation by L. also, i'm at a point in my writing of this, where i have a choice to make. I've always really enjoyed stories that don't have happy endings, so there's a couple of different ways i can take this. If anyone wants to have a say, would you rather see a happy ending or not so much? let me know, maybe someone will have enough impact to help me decide xp