L didn't speak on the ride back to Watari's apartment in the city. In fact, he'd left it to the older man to come up with an excuse and make arrangements for the next task force meeting. As he'd overheard it, there would be a conference call to make a decision on it later that evening. Thinking about it as the elevator rose smoothly away from the ground, L didn't much feel like working on a case, no less having to face the task force again. They'd expect him to be calm, of course, in control of himself to the utmost degree and focused, which is what he felt like the least of all things. Of course, there was the chance that they'd expect him to be as volatile as he'd been at the church, and would watch their footing when dealing with him. But-
"Ryuzaki... Please come out of the elevator. You don't want to ride back down, do you?" Watari's voice snapped him back to the world around him, and he hobbled out of the elevator and down the hall behind the older man.
Mello sat at table in the modest dining room, Matt next to him as always, both staring at the envelope between them as if they might suddenly develop the power to see through it without touching it. Watari put an end to their curiosity, taking the package with a soft thank you and bringing it back to L, who had stopped in the doorway.
"Where would you like to open it? I can have a computer brought bedside, I suggest that you lay back and try to relax, as much as you-"
"That's fine." He followed wordlessly again back to the bedroom he'd started the day in, freshly cleaned and bed made. It was only hours, but it seemed almost like an eternity since he'd jolted awake in that bed to discover that Hitomi was-
"L, you're breathing quite heavily again. Perhaps it is best to wait a bit before you look to matters of the case."
"No." He turned back to Watari, focusing all his effort on breathing as normally as he could. His hand searched behind him until he found the edge of the bed and he sat heavily, not resisting when Watari helped him out of his shoe and jacket.
"This can't wait anymore, Watari. No one else is going to die over this case." The detective leaned back against the mound of pillows and headboard, taking the envelope in his lap. "I'll call you back when I'm finished with this. Then we'll call the task force." Watari turned briskly with a nod and left the room, closing the door silently as he went.
He was still sitting motionless, staring at it in his lap ten minutes later. Sparing a glance at the clock, he sighed and finally picked up the packet and tore the flap, letting its contents slide out onto his lap. There was a notebook, plain black with a spiral binding, and a small flash drive. She'd left a note taped to the front of the drive, in her small, slanted handwriting that bordered on cursive regardless of the print.
Don't write in the notebook.
L flipped open the book, having to turn a few pages before her handwriting appeared again, in the form of a neat list of names and dates. Immediately his heart jumped into his throat. He would have to check to be absolutely sure, but this list seemed to be all of those criminals who had died at the hand of the third Kira.
"...keeping track... Or else who she'd planned on..." He looked at a couple more pages, but except for the list the book was empty. He closed it and set it aside, pulling the hospital tray table close so that he could use the laptop Watari had supplied. On the drive there was an mp3 and a video file labeled watch first, so he selected that. While the machine worked on opening up the file, he leaned his head back, closing his eyes. How was a notebook full of names supposed to solve a case? Sure, she'd told him that a notebook was the key, but he just couldn't understand-
"So I guess you believed me enough to come back, if you're watching this right now." Her voice was low, almost a whisper, but it still stopped him cold. When he opened his eyes he almost couldn't bear to look at the screen, to see her sitting there in front of him. She was wearing a sweater, seated at the desk in the guest room of her apartment. When had she had the time to sneak away from him and make this, he wondered. But he couldn't spend the time thinking about that now, hurrying to rewind the video as she kept talking over his thoughts.
"The notebook I enclosed with this video is called a death note. It may look like any other notebook, but it's not. Once you write the name of someone on the pages of it, they die. This one was mine, as much as it could've been. Yagami Raito has one like it, though the appearance is somewhat differed, and as far as I know Amane Misa has a third. The three of us together make up the criminal known to the public as Kira." She paused and wiped her cheek. Her eyes were red, as if she'd been crying.
"I don't pretend to know for certain their original motives in using the notes, but I'm fairly sure that now Misa is acting out of her love for Raito. She's doing whatever he tells her to... because of her devotion to him. Raito, as he's announced through various methods, is to rid the world of criminals and create a new world in his own ideals. As far as myself is concerned, I began to use the note to attract the attention of the other Kiras, as I was positive one of them was Yagami Raito. Once I had accomplished this, I intended to convince him to give up the note and stop what he was doing. As of this recording, I have failed, and I expect that he will not leave me much longer to live. An attempt to keep me from exposing him. I know it's no excuse for what I've done, and if I'm still alive, I will fully a-accept whatever punishments given."
She sat back from her chair, wiping her face again then running a hand through her hair. Her head snapped to the side suddenly, a noise from off screen grabbing her attention. A few moments later her lips moved a little, muttering in a voice her mic hadn't caught. L leaned forward a little, replaying the section and watching her lips closely, mumbling himself.
"What's she saying..."
"She asked me to warn her if you were waking up." The voice startled him back against the pillows, hands clutching the sheets. There was a girl sitting on the footboard, watching him. Only there was no little girl a moment before, no one else staying in the apartment... and the girl seemed to have wings.
"You're surprised. Humans are always surprised." She smiled, "You're holding my death note there. I'm a shinigami."
"... a god of death?" The girl nodded, her smile growing.
"Yeah. She said you were smart."
"She-"
"Hitomi nee-chan." She rolled her eyes at how he flinched slightly at the mention of her name.
"What are you here for?"
"Well, I came mostly because I was bored. Humans always act so... Interestingly when they get ahold of the notebooks. I figured if Ryuk could take a vacation, then I could, too." She caught his confused look, and added, "Oh, um, once you touch the death note, you can see the shinigami who owns it. The other two both have their own, which I guess goes without saying. And they're probably having a much more interesting time..." L finally sat forward a little.
"I'll tell you what, shinigami-san. If you explain this death note to me, and tell me about Hi- your nee-chan, I will show you something very interesting." Again the girl rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, I know you want my help to stop that Yagami and his girlfriend. Nee-chan made me promise to do what you said, or she'd burn the note... Although I guess she can't really keep that threat now, can she?"
"I've told you-"
"Right! You said you can make things interesting again! Well, you did seem interesting before, and I did promise nee-chan... I guess I'll help you. Now, what else did she say..." The creature was silent for so long that L almost spoke up, but she finally jumped up, remaining in the air a foot or so over the bed.
"Of course! She said the first thing was that you should watch the video!"
"And then...?"
"Then... That you'd want the old guy to take a look at me too." L wasn't surprised by Hitomi's guess at his actions, even days beforehand. After all, it was perfectly natural for him to doubt that a god of death would really exist, no less make itself visible to him like this, why wouldn't he get a second person to look at it?
"Correct. Can I ask you, shinigami-"
"It's Lucretia."
"Fine then, Lucretia. Can I ask you for a few moments of privacy, perhaps. To watch the video and gather my thoughts?" To his surprise, she agreed, disappearing as quickly as she'd appeared and leaving L to turn back to the computer screen, hesitating a few seconds before pressing play once more.
"Where was I?" Hitomi turned back to face the camera. "Right, I realize that the crimes I have committed are unforgivable, and I am willing to spend the rest of my life in jail. Or if it is decided, and I expect it will be, to face execution. That doesn't matter to me, you see, because as long as I can stop him, I will have ultimately done good." Her gaze hardened.
"I may have killed people in the process, but those same criminals ruined my life. A criminal broke into my home, and his death got my father put in jail. There, the first Kira, Raito Yagami killed him. He later killed my mother as well, punishment for my refusal to help him reshape the world to his liking. As I mentioned before, if you're watching this, then he's killed me as well. And before that, though it doesn't make any difference to say this now, he attempted to rape me when we were dating in high school.
"You see, he's taken everything from me. I may have been his friend all these years, but from the start, Yagami Raito ruined my life. Just by being the perfect, genius... Whatever that he is. I have nothing left, and I suppose you could call my actions as the third Kira those of someone seeking revenge." He could guess that her eyes were full of tears again, one confirmed when she lifted a crumpled tissue to her eyes and swiped at them.
"No doubt they will have some clever plan in place, but I'm sure that with this and the death note, you can come up with a plan to catch them, no matter what they try. After all, L-san... You're the smartest man in the world, not him. I may have been second to him, but he's still second to you." She paused to laugh a little, a hollow sound, and shook her head.
"I really don't know what else to say. I'm- I'm sorry things turned out this way, you know." Her voice had become softer, less formal, and she slumped down, sounding as tired as she looked. "I never knew at the start of this that I would meet someone like you, L-san. Someone so infuriatingly... superior. So high above everyone else that at times you seemed perfectly innocent and untouchable. So committed to finding truth and justice. I wish that you would've taught me how to be more like you, more in control." At the blunt thought of her own imminent demise, a small sob choked out of her, and she brought a hand to her mouth.
"I wish that I could've worked things out better, so that I wouldn't have to leave like she did. Call me naive, but I like to think I maybe could've convinced you to give love another chance. I imagine it could be a good thing sometimes, ne?" There were only seconds left of the video, and he found himself almost scared that soon her image would be gone again. "I'm sure you noticed the mp3 on here. It's a song I heard a long time ago, and I know it's cheesy for a girl my age to still listen to music from anime, but it reminded me of you. I asked Misa if I could record it while we were at the studio, and I heard that you'd cut my mic off to talk to Matsuda about me. I thought maybe you'd like to hear me sing one more time? In japanese and everything?" She smiled, even thought her tears were flowing freely again.
"Jaa, L-san, iku hitsuyou ga. Oboe te, daisuki dane. Sayounara." The screen cut to black just as her shoulders shook with the first real sob of her crying, and L leaned back against the pillows, squeezing his eyes shut. He remembered now, vaguely, the night they'd spent at her apartment before her mother's funeral. He'd woken as she climbed back into bed in the wee hours of the morning, questioning her about her absence and the obvious evidence of her lamentation. There'd been an excuse about crying in the bathroom so as not to wake him, and in light of the situation and the grogginess of sleep, he'd let it pass without a second thought. She'd been in the next room all along, confessing to her crimes and preparing for her own death, while he slept ignorant of it in her bed.
"A bit heart-wrenching, isn't it? She's always been pretty entertaining." The shinigami was back. It wasn't until he spoke that he realized his jaw had been clenched as well.
"She isn't entertainment..." He took a deep breath, then raised his voice, calling for Watari. As the older man's footsteps neared, he looked back at the girl-creature, floating with a huge grin in the corner.
"Stay right there, shinigami. It's time we get to business."
A/N: translations again. 'iku hitsuyou ga' means i have to go. 'oboe te, daisuki dane' means remember, i love you. this translation of i love you being a less strong form than the 'aishiteru' from earlier chapters. 'sayounara' meaning goodbye.