A/N This chapter is another of my favourites. I found it really hard to write because some or the subjects are REALLY close to home but i thought it would work well with the story and im sorry if it bothers you.

WARNING mentions of suicide and self harm.

READ ON...

Emily walked back into the room and started talking to her. She could hear the words but they didn't seem to process and every time Emily got close or move she moved away scared of what Emily was going to do. Deep down in the bottom of her soul JJ knew Emily or any of her family for that matter would never hurt her but it didn't stop the feeling's and Morgan's words playing in her head.

'If they really think that of me why are they still here, why do they keep acting like they care?' JJ thought to herself as Emily kept talking.

'Because they want to get close again then crush you like everyone in your life has. They don't want you. Who would want a rotten dirty whore in their life? They just feel bad. You don't have to look at them to know they pity you!' a different voice inside JJ's head spat.

And that's how JJ's night went on. The team would sit with her during the night, sometimes she would sleep and wake up screaming but wouldn't let anyone touch her and the rest of the time she just lay in the bed, staying as safe as she could in her mind.

It wasn't until Hotch walked over with Jack that JJ realised she shouldn't have survived. That she couldn't live this life anymore she didn't deserve it.

Jack was pointing out the butterflies on the picture he had painted when she remembered the times she had spent with the two Hotchner men and it warmed her heart.

Hotch told Jack to say goodbye and get his jacket on.

Hotch lent down to JJ and whispered in her ear "I know you're in there JJ and I know you can hear me. We haven't lost you yet and were not going to. I will find a way to get you back to us I promise."

But Hotch was wrong, there wasn't anything left to save, she was a broken shell that didn't deserver their pity and most defiantly didn't deserve their love.

JJ knew what she had to do to make it all ok again.

When Hotch left the room she slowly swung her legs out of bed and stood on the cold tile floor again. For a few seconds she felt like she was going to pass out again but her body had become much stronger in the past few days and she managed to right that feeling. She slowly walked over to the door holding onto the wall and made her way into the corridor. JJ breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that the hall seemed to be empty and she made her way over to the stairs. She ignored the screaming pain radiating through her body and kept going determined to make everything ok again.

Slowly JJ climbed them one by one till she reached the top and all that stood in her way of freedom was a door.

'You don't want to do this, it'll crush them' a voice hissed in panic in her head.

'Yes you do, it will make everything right again. Plus the world doesn't need another slut wondering round' that voice was a lot calmer then the first and it seemed much louder.

JJ reached for the handle of the door and pushed it open. The cold morning breeze swept threw JJ thin gown, almost knocked her off her feet. She took a step out onto the cold concrete and kept going….

"Where is she?" Morgan asked as he was the first to walk in and see JJ's bed empty.

"What are you…" Rossi walked in behind him and cursed.

"She's gone…" Emily stood in the doorway, worry written all over her face.

"Garcia get on your laptop and check CCTV." Garcia started rummaging threw her bag for her baby "Morgan, Rossi go and alert security…" Morgan and Rossi ran out of the room "Emily stay here with Garcia and the rest of us search this floor." Reid, Peter, Sophie and Hotch quickly left the room and started searching.

15 minutes later the floor had been searched and Rossi and Morgan came back from talking to security to see Emily pacing the room and Garcia tapping away at the speed of light.

"What you got princess." Morgan knelt down next to Garcia.

"I've searched all the exits and she hasn't left the building, I'm….Oh my god…" Garcia stopped and almost dropped her laptop when she spotted JJ on a camera.

"What is it Pen, where is she?" Emily stopped pacing but Garcia didn't answer she just kept staring at the computer screen "PENOLIPIE!" She yelled to get the red head's attention.

"She…she's on the roof…" Garcia whispered.

"What!" Peter and Sophie both yelled.

"What did you just say!" Morgan need to make sure he heard right.

"She's on the roof." Garcia's pail face looked up.

"NO!" Emily whispered and ran from the room to the stairs closely followed by the others.

They made it up two at a time and Emily kicked the door open and there JJ was; standing on the ledge of the hospital roof staring out over DC.

"Jayje…" Emily took a step towards JJ but Hotch grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Emily your not trained for this…"

"Let Rossi talk her down." Morgan said not taking his eyes of the blonde, ready to run if she took the dreaded step.

"No…she's my best friend, it'll be ok."

"Emily…" Rossi moved next to her.

"Rossi… There are a lot of things you still don't know about me ok. Please I can stop her." Rossi or Hotch still agree "I know some of what she's feeling, my whole childhood I felt like a pawn in my mothers political games. I never thought she actually loved me, that I was just a piece of equipments for her, and because she didn't love me I always thought I was worthless, like I didn't belong anywhere, She never truly loved me. At this moment in time JJ is debating whether or not to end it all because she thinks she doesn't deserve to live; that is one of the many disturbing thoughts swimming round in her head at the minute. Now we can stand here and argue over whether I'm going to talk to her or not or I can actually go over there and stop our friend from Jumping."

Rossi nodded and placed a gentle kiss on Emily's forehead "Be careful."

"I will…" Emily slowly took a few steps away from the worried group and closer to JJ.

Once she was a few meters away she stopped.

"JJ, its Em…" When she didn't get a reply from the blonde Emily took a single step closer "can I join you? I won't come any closer I'll just sit here." Emily walked over to the ledge a few meters away and stood there much like JJ was.

Emily looked up at JJ she could see the blond was really pail and was slightly swaying from the lack of energy and the meds running through her system.

"Why don't we sit down Jayje?" Emily waited a few seconds to see if JJ moved but she didn't.

'Why are they here, why cant leave me to do this alone, it'll just hurt them more to see it.' JJ said to herself looking over the DC skyline.

Emily knew there was only one way to get through to JJ at that moment in time and it would open a big can of worms she didn't think she was ready to deal with but if it meant saving JJ's life she would face it all again. Emily looked over her shoulder top the team. She knew they wouldn't judge her and they wouldn't think she were weak because Emily stopped think that about herself a long time ago but this wasn't about her this was about making sure JJ knew she wasn't alone in this.

Emily looked back at JJ and took a deep breath as she unbottened the top of her jeans.

"JJ I want to show you something but I need you to look at me." Emily's voice was shaking. She didn't know if it was from nerves or fear but she thought it was from a bit of both.

"What's she doing?" Garcia whispered through worried tears as they all watched Emily undo her jeans.

"I don't know baby girl, but we have to trust that whatever it is will get through to JJ." Morgan wrapped an arm round the red head.

JJ didn't look away from the view.

"Please JJ, I need to show you this so you know your not alone, that I know how your feeling." Emily watched JJ's chest rise and fall and then her head slightly turned to look at Emily.

Emily took one final deep breath for courage and pulled her jeans down to just above her knees. She saw shock and confusion fill JJ's eyes and hared a few gasps and worried whispers come from the team to the side of her.

JJ looked away from the beautiful skyline when Emily asked for the second time and looked into the brunettes eyes. She could see the fear in them. Then Emily did something JJ wasn't expecting, she pulled down her jeans and reviled a variety or nasty red and white scars that painted the top of her thighs. JJ heard the sounds form the people behind her but just ignored them and looked into Emily's eyes. For the first time in a long time Emily let down her wall and JJ could see right into her soul. She could see the lost and scared girl that stood before her and somehow it made JJ feel less alone.

Emily buttoned up her jeans and took a few more steps towards JJ but didnt get too close. She sat her self down on the ledge and waited for JJ to join her which she did eventually. They both sat there with their legs dangling over the edge for a few minutes waiting for the. Emily knew that as JJ hadn't spoken to them really in days that it would have to be her.

"I know Jayje, I know how scared you are and that this…ending it all seems so appealing, trust me I came close to doing it many time. I know that you think you'll never be happy again because everything is so dark and I know how much you want to stop fighting and be free again because you don't want to do it on your own anymore but you not on your own JJ because I know. I've been to that dark place and I do still go there sometimes but I found my way out. It'll take time and a lot of strength but you can do it. You're the strongest person I have ever known and I will be right beside you holding your hand. I won't let you be in that place alone anymore."

They both just sat there in silence for a moment. Emily was praying that what she had done and said had gotten through to JJ and JJ was trying to wrap her head round it and trying to convince herself that what Emily said was true, that she wasn't alone.

But the silence was gut wrenching and Emily couldn't take it any more.

"Talk to me JJ please, I need to know that what I said got through to you some how." But Emily still got nothing "your really scaring us, what's going on it your head?" Emily asked taking a small shuffle towards JJ. The brunette didn't care if JJ screamed, yelled or even cried she just wanted some emotion other than the blank expression that was on her face.

"Why are you here?" JJ whispered, if Emily wasn't looking in JJ's direction she wouldn't have even heard JJ.

"Because I want to be here JJ. We want to save you."

"I don't deserve to be saved…"

"Why do you say that?" Emily asked carefully

"Because…it doesn't matter."

"Of cores it matters. If it matters to you then it does to me… please tell me what your feeling Jayje…"

"I'm damaged."

"No your not, your just lost and were all going to help find you again."

"You don't want to help me, you just pity me. You only say you want to help because you blame yourself for this happening again." JJ's voice started to get louder and the anger in it was obvious.

"Jayje listen to me…" Emily took another shuffle towards JJ.

"No…leave…now" JJ stood up on the ledge and Emily quickly followed.

"Jennifer don't do this, don't let him win." Emily quickly glanced at the team and they were standing a lot closer and Sophie and Garcia were in floods of tears.

"He won along time ago…"

"No he didn't because your still here, your still standing."

"I heard what you were talking about in the corridor the day I woke up…"

Emily was confused she couldn't remember what was said to have this effect "What did you hear?"

"Morgan said 'we see her as a dirty, disgusting, broken, slut' I know what you all see me as and your right. I am all of those things and more."

"What? No…JJ we could never see you like that." Emily was now only a few inches away from JJ "Your Jennifer Jareau media liaison for the BAU. You are kind and caring. You have a brilliant sense of humour and the strongest person I know."

"No I'm not, that was all an act. I'm Shelby Merrick a slut, broken and a prostitute."

"You were forced to be that way JJ. But you fought to get away from that. I believe you turned out to be who you were meant to be if those things never happened to you. But if you jump now all that fighting will be for nothing." Emily took another small step closer as a tear slid down JJ's cheek.

"Can I ask you something Jayje?"

JJ nodded.

"Why are you so scared of us?"

JJ was silent for a minute.

"I thought you were going to hurt me…"

"We would never hurt you, we love you too much."

"I had a nightmare." JJ couldn't control the tears anymore and she willingly let them fall "You were all in there with him. You all had different weapons in your hands." She took a deep breath as a strong rush of dizziness came over her "Erm…you all stood there and watched him r..re…hurt me then you all tortures me yourself." A sob came from JJ.

"Oh Jayje." Emily took the last step and wrapped her arms round JJ. She felt the blonde stiffen for a second but then she relaxed into her arms.

"Please save me Em…I'm scared." JJ whispered into Emily's chest as she pulled JJ down from the ledge with her. When they were both safe of the ledge Emily's shaky legs couldn't hold them both up anymore they collapsed onto the floor and the others ran over.

JJ was sobbing into Emily's chest and Emily was crying into JJ's hair.

"I'll save you JJ, if it's the last thing I do, I promise."

JJ's body went limp in Emily's arms.

"JJ?" Emily pulled back to see JJ had collapsed.

"You did good Em." Morgan gave Emily a reassuring smile and scooped up the blonde and took her back into the hospital.

Rossi helped Emily up of the floor and held her as she cried.

"You did brilliantly Bella, I'm so proud of you."

"She's so broken Dave…" Emily cried.

"Shhhh, well then we'll spend the time putting her back together."

The both walked of the roof to find the others standing outside of JJ's room.

A/N... Well? Please tell me what you thought. i would really like to know i was extremely nervous about posting this chapter

The next chapter will explain what happened with Emily and i might do another Fic about Emily and her past problems. What would you think about that? would you read it?

AJ xx