A million and one thank yous to my reviewers and especially, Ellenka, who has been giving me amazing feedback throughout this whole process. I appreciate all the kind words and encouragement!
Again, I don't own the Hunger Games. No copyright infringement is intended.
Peeta's POV
Taking in the sunset through my window has always been one of my favorite parts of the day. I guess when you're put in a situation where you never know if you're going to see the sun set or rise again, you begin to appreciate little things that others take for granted. Now, however, my view has been completely marred by Katniss and evident reconciliation with Gale. As I looked out over the horizon, I happened to glance down to see them, fingers entwined, sauntering down the road together. I knew Katniss was going to give in to him, but I really didn't think it was going to be so soon.
I feel the familiar punch of defeat in my lower stomach and look down once more, only to notice that, this time, Katniss is looking back up at me. I see the horror cross her face as she realizes that I've seen her and Gale and watch as she disengages her hand from his. My mind is on instant repeat—her smile, her laugh, their swinging hands. All of it is too much.
I was the one that she cried with, that cooked for her, that helped her write her book of memories.
I was the one who brought her back to live. I saved her.
And now he gets to enjoy her? He just gets to sweep in, like he wasn't at least partially responsible for Prim's death and she's just going to forgive him?
No. "No!" I say again, aloud this time. I turn my head just in time to hear her on my front porch and I dash out of my room and launch myself down the stairs so that I can be there to confront her. She'll be surprised, I think. I don't think I've really ever stood up to her before.
I see her face peeking around the corner of my front door and I launch myself down the stairs and rip the door out of her fingers. Her shock freezes her face and I take her arm and pull her inside, roughly slamming the door behind me. I briefly catch a glimpse of Gale waiting on the street, and I mentally will him to stay away. This fight has been a long time coming for Katniss and I. I suppose I had fooled myself into believing that she wouldn't forgive him and that she would send him back to where he came from, but, yet again, I had underestimated the Girl on Fire.
I slam her onto my couch, my anger causing me to act much more harshly than she is accustomed to. "What the hell are you thinking, huh? He comes slinking back to town after you told him you couldn't see him anymore, after he killed your sister and you're just willing to sidle up to him and be best friends again? No-forget best friends, I can clearly see that he's gotten what he wanted all along! What the hell is wrong with you, Katniss?"
She cowers mutely on the couch, dragging her legs up under her and resting her chin on her knees- a defensive position against me. She says nothing, unsure of whether or not I've spent all my anger.
I haven't.
"I mean, I've fought for you Katniss. I've been fighting for you for three years. I've been in love with you for longer than that. I was the one here to put you back together. I was the one that took care of you after your trial, that helped you come back to life. And you feel nothing for me? Nothing?" I can feel myself practically spitting the words at her. It's as if every emotion I've bottled up is coming out and I can't stop myself. I feel like I'm hijacked again, but this time everything's real and not just some crazy Capitol-induced hallucination.
She stays mute, but I can see two fat tears rolling down her cheek. I reach deep inside for pity, for remorse over what I've said, but strangely, I feel nothing. Nothing but anger.
She sniffs and whispers, "You know I love you Peeta. You know how grateful I am for everything you've done. For everything you continue to do for me."
"Whatever," I say defeatedly. "You say you love me, but everything you've ever done has been motivated by him. You wanted to get out of the first games to get back to Gale. And your family, I know, but Gale too. In the Quarter Quell, I you would mutter his name in your sleep almost constantly. And, in District 13, well—I don't even want to remember that." My anger has calmed somewhat, but I know that every word I speak pierces her heart like the arrows she shoots so well.
Her head rests in her hands and I can tell that she is crying uncontrollably. The fact that she isn't even trying to fight back or defending herself against my claims is the greatest implication of guilt that she can give me. She knows that I'm right, that everything I'm saying is truthful. Her silence is her concession of respect to me. Maybe she would try to lie to someone that she cares for less, but she isn't going to lie to me.
For an instant, I wish she would. I wish she would raise her head and tell me that she loves me best. But I've been a fool for too long. There's no place for that anymore.
"Katniss." I need her attention, for what I'm about to say can never be revoked and will change our relationship forever. "Katniss, I'm done." She lifts her head and the hurt and recognition in her eyes almost halts my words. "I…I can't be a part of this anymore. You already know how you feel about Gale, and we both know that it's not the same as what you feel for me. We're friends Katniss, but nothing more from now on."
I lay my hand on her shoulder and let it fall down her arm, trying to offer a comforting gesture. It's a hollow effort, though, and I realize the best thing I can do is leave her in peace. I grab my coat from the hall closet and walk outside into the night.
Gale sits on the bottom step, looking out into the road, lost in thought. I sit next to him and extend my hand. He looks at me, puzzled by the gesture.
"It's you, man. It has been all along. I just needed to be the better man and recognize it." Gale eyes search mine, looking for any deception. I guess he doesn't find any, because he relinquishes my hand, gets up, and starts loping up the steps. "Hey—leave her for a bit," I call after him. "Just let her do this on her own." He stops, looks back down at me, and after a long pause, nods.
I walk on down the street, suddenly eager to get to Delly's surprise birthday.
Katniss' POV
I literally had nothing to say to him. Every insult, every word that left his mouth was completely true. It was time to grow up, and Peeta was just able to be the mature one first. I'm jealous of him, in a way. Getting all of that off his chest must have made him feel as light as a feather. There's something to be said for unloading on people rather than keeping everything bottled inside.
I gather myself and walk outside to find Gale sitting on the steps, anxiously watching the door for me. He takes the steps two at a time until he reaches me and then he gathers me into his arms. Kissing my hair and my forehead, he just holds me. I lean into him, drawing comfort from his lean body.
"Catnip, I was worried about you," he murmurs to me. "You cried for so long. Are you sure this is what you want?" I untangle myself from his arms and search his eyes. All I see is apprehension and pain. He thinks I'm going to turn him away, I realize.
There is only one way that I can answer his question adequately. I hitch my arms around his neck and lower his face to mine. "Never," I pause, "let me go again." My lips find his and this time, it's me that could burn him with passion. I hold onto him and let his kiss fill me back up. He slides his hands up and down my back and I shiver. That same warmth is spreading through me again and I break away just long enough to say "Let's skip the party."
He smiles down at me and his eyes are shining with love. Taking my hand, he leads me back down the road to my house. Even though I'm only two houses down from Peeta's, we have a hard time keeping our hands off each other. I can feel his desire and need for release in every single movement. All of my nerve endings are on fire, suddenly dying for him.
When we get to my front door, he leans to my ear and says softly "Catnip, if you're not ready, we need to stop now. If we go farther, I know I won't be able to stop myself." I can hear the catch in his voice and know instinctively that it's time for us to take this step. I love him, I think to myself. Everyone else has probably already figured this out, but to me, it is a revelation that I am so grateful for.
I look up at him and, with a voice that sounds more sure than I thought it would l, say, "Do it, Gale. I want this." He grins and whispers, "Let me do the work, love." The term of endearment, one that I never thought would fall from his lips, makes me weak, and I'm all too happy to let him sweep me inside the house.
In one fluid moment, he manages to shut the door and lean me up against it so that my back is flush against the oak. I wonder momentarily why he bothered to do that, but suddenly I feel him grip my hips and pull me against him. I gasp, feeling how aroused his is through his pants.
He takes my arms, slowly and sensually lifting them and placing them above my head. He sweeps his lips down one of them as he lifts one hand to hold them up. I'm completely at his mercy, and I couldn't be more filled with love and heat.
He begins to kiss down my neck, awakening sensitive spots I didn't even know I had. He comes back up to my lips and kisses me while he runs his free hand up the outside of my thigh, hiking my skirt. I feel his hand grip my hip above my underwear and he snakes his thumb under the waistband, teasing me. I feel myself scrambling to get closer to him, and he pulls away just long enough to drop my arms, reach under my thighs and hitch me up so that I'm holding onto him with my legs around his waist. I'm pleased with this new position because it gives me some leverage on him. I gaze down at him and I see more love than I was prepared for radiating from his eyes. No one has ever looked at me the way he is right now. It literally takes my breath away. He reaches up with his lips to continue kissing me, but I still him. I see the question in his eyes, but when I drop my head and begin to lay kisses on his neck and run my fingers through his wavy, coarse hair, he understands.
He lets his head loll back to grant me easier access to his sensitive spots. I realize that I'm going to very much enjoy learning about what drives him wild. Tonight will very much be a night of teaching and learning, and this is one class that I wouldn't miss for the world.
I find a spot near his collarbone that makes him press his hips into me so hard that I literally gasp. Positioned on his hips like that, I'm closer to him than I've ever been. I almost lose myself right there. He notices my shudder and pulls away. "Katniss," his jagged voice groans my name. "I need to see you….I need you to see me." For a moment, I'm confused, and then it dawns on me that he wants to move this party elsewhere.
"Yes, Gale," I answer. "Yes." This will be my answer to whatever question he asks tonight. He keeps me hoisted on his hips and carries me upstairs like I weigh next to nothing. Laying me down on my bed, he slowly scoots my skirt off and lays it carelessly on the floor. Next, I sit up to give him easier access to my shirt. First, however, I can't help myself from beginning to slide the hem of his shirt above his head. His chest and stomach are smooth planes of muscle and I feel every inch of him respond as I skitter my fingers across his skin. I lean and place a kiss right where his heart is and almost die of want when I see his expression after I look up. The love is still there, but it's being quickly overshadowed by a blazing desire. Gale has never been afraid to take what he wanted, and right now, he wants me.
He begins to take off my shirt and I still his hands so that I can take it off myself. It's my offering to him. A way to show him that he's not taking me- I'm giving myself to him. I didn't think it was possible, but I see him grow even harder. He appreciates my gesture. He removes his pants and boxers and is standing naked before me. I see him blush slightly and, in that moment, he endears himself to me in a way that I didn't think possible. Gale, for all his confidence and surety, is unsure in that moment.
Overcoming the momentary pause, he lays me back on the bed and begins to show me exactly what I mean to him. Placing kisses up and down my body, he runs his fingers once more tantalizingly under the waistband of my underwear. I wriggle underneath him, growing impatient for him to get on with it.
He notices my discomfort and lets out a husky chuckle. "What's wrong Katniss? Did you need something?" I whimper in return and I can feel his groan rip through his chest. He pulls my underwear down and throws it to the ground, leaving me completely exposed. Before I even have time to feel self-conscious, I feel his fingers find my most sensitive spot. He strokes me expertly, leaving me crying for more. In what seems like a minute, my world explodes around me. Gale leans down and pulls me into a long kiss. "I told you I would do the work, Mockingjay," he said softly.
I look down and notice that he is long from finished. As if separate from my body, my hand moves forward and I grasp his length. His face contorts and he stifles a cough. "Katniss! Are you sure about this?" he stills my hand and searches my eyes. I try not to let him see my naiveté and say "Maybe you could guide me? Just this once?" He sighs contentedly and nods. I feel myself warming again. He begins to work my hand up and down and around. We kiss and when we break apart, he pulls my fingers off of him. "Oh no! Was I hurting you?" I ask in a panicked voice.
"No! No—uh, just the opposite. Katniss, love, I need you. Now." I can see that he has a wild look in his eyes and my insides melt. He positions my hips under his and slowly begins to enter me. It seems like he's waiting for something, and suddenly I feel it. The pain spreads through my hips and I gasp and bite my lip.
"Katniss? Are you ok?" he looks so concerned for me that I reach up and stroke his face with the back of my fingers. I continue touching his face until the pain begins to ease and the pleasure I was feeling returns full force. "I'm fine…just keep going, please," I beg. He leans his head into the nook between my neck and shoulder and drives his length into me.
I've never felt so complete in my life.
I wrap my arms around his upper back and hold on as we begin to build a rhythm. He slowly begins pumping faster and faster and I can feel that tension building until I think that I won't be able to stand it anymore.
Gale finishes with a low, deep moan and bites into my shoulder. I gasp and feel myself fall over the edge, convulsing around him and muffling my scream into his hair.
He turns his head to kiss my neck and finally reaches up to smooth my hair away. He holds my face and we lock eyes, staring at each other as time melts away.
"Katniss, I love you. I've never loved anyone else. It's always been you," he says softly.
"Gale, I…I can't imagine feeling this way about anyone ever again," I say, and he chuckles. I love you is not an easy thing for me to say, so I try to convey my feelings in a way that Gale would understand. Thankfully, he does.
I sleep with him that night, wrapped in his safe arms. For the first time in three years, I don't have a single nightmare.