I'm thrilled to have so many new readers—thank you all so much for taking the time to read my story! As always, a million and one thanks to my loyal reviewers. I look forward to hearing what you guys think of each chapter almost as soon as I post it
The Hunger Games and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement intended.
Katniss' POV
I can't deny that I am both excited and nervous to journey to District Four. I haven't been there since the Victory Tour, and even then, I wasn't really allowed to explore the district much. We were busily swept in and out of the finest buildings in the District and then hustled back on the train to repeat the motions in a new place. I'm also anxious to see how Annie and the baby are doing. I can't help but blame myself for Finnick's death, which left Annie widowed and pregnant. Since then, I've wanted to find some way to help her out. This move will be the perfect opportunity.
As I fold my clothes and lay them in my suitcase, another thought strikes me. I can't help but wonder why only Gale was called forward to help put down the Capitol insurgence. Technically, I am still employed by the Rebel forces, even though we've both made it abundantly clear that we really have no need to interact now that the Rebellion is over. If they are trying to rekindle the Rebel soldiers' spirits in order to rally them to put a stop to this minor rebellion, wouldn't re-enlisting the Mockingjay be part of their plan?
Of course, I probably can't blame them for not wanting me around. I'm sure that I didn't endear myself to the Rebel forces when I shot and killed their leader rather than President Snow. In fact, they probably don't want me anywhere near a weapon again. "Too much of a liability," I mutter aloud to myself.
"What Catnip?" Gale asks as he brushes into the room, throwing a handful of shirts into the overnight bag he brought with him from Two.
"Nothing. I just…Well, I just wonder—" I look up at him and tuck my hair behind my ear nervously before deciding not to continue. No need to put Gale in an awkward position with his commander by questioning plans. Besides, I would rather spend my days with Annie than stuck in Command Center taking orders and trying to figure out how to kill more people. The death toll wrought by my hands is already high enough.
Gale looks at me puzzlingly, but to his credit, doesn't push any further. He knows that I'll talk to him when I'm ready. Instead, he tucks the pants he was folding next to his suitcase and walks over to me. Brushing the hair from my neck, he dips to plant kisses up and down. I feel the now familiar warmth spreading through my insides and turn to face him, reaching up to pull him into a deep kiss.
"Don't be nervous, Catnip," he murmurs. "We'll be there together." He gazes into my eyes and cups my face with his hands, drawing my mouth back to his. He pauses before kissing me, holding his lips above mine for a few tantalizing moments. "I love you," he breathes before finally closing the gap.
An hour later, we lay in bed, spent. All of my careful packing went to waste when Gale overzealously swept my suitcase off the bed in order to clear a space for us to engage in a little afternoon distraction. As he lies napping, I quietly pull on my shirt. While I dress and attempt to repack, I make a mental to-do list of things that must be done before we leave that night.
Packing? Check. Clearing the house of perishables? Check. Locking up valuables? Check. Letting loved ones know we'll be gone?
Peeta. I've been incredibly apprehensive to speak to him since our talk a little over a week ago. I know he's been busy at the bakery because I see him walk by early in the mornings when I wake before Gale. I've also been hearing rumors floating about him and Delly. Something about her birthday? I've never been good with gossip and rumors. I never get the whole story or am usually part of the story, which makes me even more reticent to participate in the gossip.
I decide that this conversation is going to be like ripping off a bandage. The faster I get it over with, the better. I make a snap decision to walk to the bakery and speak with him now.
Walking through town, I feel a pang of regret to be leaving again. After I arrived back from the Rebellion and my trial, I promised myself that I wouldn't desert the open meadows and piney trees of District Twelve again. I spent so many days and nights praying to get back here. Yet here I am, straying again. Sometimes it's hard to feel like I belong anywhere. I always seem to be called away.
Reaching the bakery, I can see Peeta working intently on a cake through the glass window. His hair is streaked with orange frosting. No doubt he raked his hand through it in frustration, not remembering that his hands are constantly covered in frosting here. I let my gaze roam around the parts of the bakery I can see from outside. The shelves look well stocked with breads and pastries and I see a customer inside.
I take a deep breath and walk into the bakery. Instantly, I see that the customer is Delly. Perhaps the rumors are true, I think. I'm startled to feel a slight jolt of jealousy, and then guilt. Peeta looks up and surprise mars his face momentarily. "Katniss! I didn't expect to see you here!"
"I, um, I came to talk to you for a minute," I say lamely. Turning to Delly, I ask "Would you mind giving us a second?"
"Oh it's no problem at all Katniss! You're looking so healthy lately! You must be getting in quite a bit of hunting!" She continues to compliment me as she walks outside, leaving me nodding and confused.
I turn back to Peeta and watch as he cleans the frosting off of his hands and wipes down the area around the cake. "What's going on, Katniss?" He looks suspicious and, again, I feel a rush of guilt. We're supposed to be friends, I think. Friends aren't supposed to be suspicious of each other. It doesn't escape me that Peeta must feel terribly used by me. I'm hoping my honesty will do a little something to repair our relationship.
"I came to tell you that Gale and I are going to be out of town for awhile. We're going to District Four to visit Annie for a bit. Also, Gale got called by Command to head up a mission there, so I'm going to head there with him." I let my sentence trail off lamely, trying to read Peeta's mind and failing miserably. His expression is inscrutable.
He takes a long moment to think before responding. "Four, huh?" he asks. "With Gale." That part wasn't a question. "Are you going back into the military, too, Mockingjay?" He flings my old moniker at me, voice dripping with sarcasm. He picks up a bag of frosting, mindlessly twisting and working the top.
His tone stings, but I decide not to react. "No, no. They didn't even ask me, actually. I just want to see Annie and it'll be nice to get out of town for a little while." That last part is a lie—I'm not even sure what made me say that. He gauges my tone and my body language and he visibly relaxes.
"You know Delly and I have been seeing each other?" He doesn't look at me when he asks this question. The twinge of jealousy returned.
"I've heard something to that effect around town," I answer evasively. I'm actually not sure how to respond, so I decide to leave the conversation mainly up to him.
"She's nice. Well, you already know that. But she's a good girl, Katniss." He studies my face, and I know instinctually that he is awaiting my approval. My heart jumps. Even after all we've been through, he still wants to know that I accept the choices he makes. He truly is the nicest guy, I think.
"Peeta, she's perfect. I'm glad for you both." Smiling, I reach my hand to his to squeeze it reassuringly. After pausing momentarily, he grasps mine and begins to smile.
"You know, this being just friends thing isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be," he says. "Do you need provisions for the trip? I have some cinnamon buns and cheese rolls coming out of the oven in about three minutes if you can wait." He goes back to busying himself around the kitchen, cleaning off a few counters in preparation for the forthcoming breads.
We spend the next twenty minutes catching up, laughing, and stuffing our faces with cheese rolls. He tells me the story of he and Delly's first date and even asks how things are going with Gale. I can't help but admire him for his courage and forgiving nature. He's a better person than I'll ever be.
When I ready myself to leave, he comes from behind the counter and envelopes me in a tight hug. "Be careful in Four, Katniss. Now that I've got my friend back, I'm not losing her again." Something in his words make my blood run cold. Anytime someone refers to my death, I automatically take it as a premonition. Having been in so many near-death situations, I'm not sure that I could ever take it any other way.
I pull away and look him straight in the eye. "I'll be back before the Fall. Count on it." Squeezing his hands once more in mine, I sweep out the door and take off in a run back to the Village.
Bursting into the back door of my house, panting from the intensity of my run, I scare Gale half-senseless. I didn't expect him to be in the kitchen, so when I scan the room and see him in the corner wielding a can of beef stew as a weapon, I begin to laugh hysterically. Gale looks momentarily startled and then joins in. We make our way to each other and use our bodies to hold us up as we cry from laughter.
"Where were you, Catnip?" he asks once we've caught our breath. He wipes my tears away with his finger.
"I had to go say some goodbyes before we left. We can't just disappear into the night, Gale." He frowns.
"Did you say goodbye to Peeta?" he asks quietly.
"You already know the answer to that question," I remind him. "Peeta and I are still going to be friends, Gale. You can't feel threatened by that." Perhaps I chose the wrong words because when I say "threatened," Gale bristles and turns away from me. "Like I would ever be threatened by that little…" I hear him mutter as he plods up the stairs.
I roll my eyes and take over where he left off, picking cans of food out of the cabinets to bring with us to Four. We have no idea what the sustenance situation is there and I want to make sure we're all as well-fed as possible. Especially since I know that there is no hunting in the District by the Sea. Finnick taught me a bit about fishing, but I'm not at all positive that I could produce enough food to live off of.
Afternoon darkens into night, and finally Gale re-emerges from upstairs with our bags. "Time to head out, Katniss. We've got to make the 9:40 train." He hands me my pack and stands away respectfully while he watches me take one last look around the house.
Surprisingly, I feel the familiar choke in my throat of tears. One falls, and Gale grabs me. Holding me from behind, arms wrapped around my waist, he sets his head on the top of mine. "Katniss, we'll be back. You're just leaving for a little while this time. Don't be so sad," he cajoles.
I can't answer him because if I explain why I'm sad, then I won't be able to stop crying. The realization that, again, nothing will ever be quite how I want it is overwhelming. I had planned to put roots in District Twelve and just live here for the rest of my life, happily blind to whatever is happening in any other districts. Deep down, I knew that this dream was unrealistic, but after getting out of the Games and the Rebellion, a little fantasy was all I wanted. Well, besides my family back.
I nod mutely, and let my hand slide down his arm to grip his hand. Untangling myself from his arms, I reach up to give him a quick kiss. With his hand still in mine, I grab my pack and head out the door into the night.
It's time to leave and I'm as ready as I'll ever be to go. As we walk down the street, I'm haunted once again by the question that has been popping up in my mind since I heard about this mission.
Why Gale and not me?