Seven

"Three… Two… One!" The gong sounded and the games had begun!

Before Katniss could even hop off of her platform, she heard; "SHIIIIIIINYYYYYYY!" from behind her. Catching everyone off guard, Peeta sped past, running full speed at the Cornucopia before him. Piles of swords, knives, bows, guns, explosives, boxes, food, backpacks, flashlights, torches, potatoes, lampshades, sleeping bags, bobble heads, limbs, tennis balls, fake turkeys, dog toys, rocket launchers, banjoes, movies, cabbages, Spanish speakers, soccer balls, giraffes, clocks, bazookas, wigs, disco balls, fireworks, cats, computers, cellos, chinchillas, dancing shoes, nuclear missiles, French books, nail polish, grass, flutes, dogs, fire hydrants, ukuleles, and bendy straws were in a pile inside the Cornucopia. Peeta had his arms spread before him, as if he could hug the very important objects.

"Stop him!" A girl from district two screamed. "I really want that nail polish!"

Peeta dove headfirst into the pile, disappearing under a mass of cellos. "La, la, la," he sang gleefully, stroking the instruments lovingly, "I love cellos."

A girl with red hair and a childishly- painted cardboard fox mask ran up to Peeta. "I is more edumacated than you, so I should get the cellos." Grabbing a cello by its neck, Foxface lifted it high before bringing it down on Peeta's head, causing his oversize noggin to crack. Peeta's eyes were unfocused and he looked confused. Foxface then grabbed a bow and stabbed Peeta through the eye.

"Ha!" she screeched, holding the broken cello above her head triumphantly, "I is having all the cellos now!"

Eight

It was after the bloodbath, and Peeta was following the four careers through the forest. Glimmer rolled her blue eyes and applied more black eyeliner. "He is, like, totally annoying," she grumbled.

"Tell me about it!" Clove groaned, examining one of her knives carefully. She then tossed it off to the side, into the woods.

"What was that, Clove?" Cato turned and glared at her angrily.

"Caaaaaato! Cato the careeeeeeeeeer!" His backup singers chimed in.

"That knife is so out of season! I re-fa-use to use it!" Clove explained.

"You should never throw knives when people are around! You could hit someone," Peeta informed them excitedly. "We learned that in boy scouts!" He added a second later.

The group ignored him and continued on. A few minutes later they reached a rushing stream. Clove, Cato, and Glimmer all advanced without even a glance at the rushing water, but Peeta shrieked, then ran in front of them to block their path.

"What the dog poop, Peeta? What's your issue?" Cato swore.

"In boy scouts they told us to never cross moving water!" Peeta shrieked.

Glimmer rolled her eyes and applied more mascara.Clove sighed and popped her hip.

"How the violin did Katniss deal with this potato?" Cato groaned and slapped his forehead.

Peeta ignored them. "We have to make a bridge!"

"Let's just go. See if we can shake him for a while," Glimmer offered, smearing black eye shadow on her eyelids. (She was beginning to look like a raccoon).

The others nodded and they waded through the ankle deep water to the other side. From there they disappeared into the woods, leaving Peeta to tell the trees about boy scouts.

"Let's see, what can we make a bridge out of?" Peeta looked around to find a giant tree right next to the stream. He picked up a random axe he found lying on the ground and began to hack away at the tree. After about an hour and a significant amount of bleeding, the tree began to tip.

"!" Peeta screamed as it fell, probably (and hopefully) alerting any enemies nearby to his location.

The tree actually landed where he wanted it to, so he jumped on top of it and started wobbling his way across. When he was near the middle, his foot slipped and he tumbled into the water with a quiet splash.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, "I'M DROWNING! I'M DROWNING! I'M DROWINGING!"

A minute later, Katniss walked by to see a broad-shouldered boy standing in the middle of a stream screaming his head off.

"Peeta! What the horse nose?"

"I'M DROWNING! HELP ME!" Peeta screamed at Katniss.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Peeta, the water doesn't even cover your entire foot. You couldn't drown in that if you tried."

"Quick, Katniss! Cut down that tree so I can grab onto it and live!" Peeta screeched.

Katniss slapped her forehead, "Peeta…"

"Hurry Katniss!"

With a sigh, Katniss found the axe, and with one clean stroke, knocked the other tree towards Peeta.

Peeta screamed joyfully as it fell, "TIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMBEEEEEEEE—"

Splat.

Oops, thought Katniss. Ah, well. That wasn't all bad. At least my feet won't get wet when I'm crossing the stream. Katniss smiled and strode across the tree she had just cut down, her feet perfectly dry.