Dean knew without a doubt that Castiel was avoiding him. It had been three days since their kiss and a flash of déjà vu reminded Dean of earlier times. Castiel was ignoring his phone calls and no matter how many times he tried to reach out he was rejected. Dean returned to the art gallery but he wasn't there and if he was he didn't make himself known, he dared not go to the apartment and confront him in case he got Balthazar instead.

Sam clapped his hands in front of Dean who jumped out of his daydream and scowled deeply.

"What?"

"You look like a lost puppy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Liar"

"Shut up, Sammy"

"I'm only trying to help! If you tell me what's wrong then maybe I could help you"

"Oh okay, I kissed Cas, three times actually, and now he's ignoring me so I feel like a huge jackass" Dean replied sarcastically. "So, Doctor Sam, tell me what I should do?"

"You kissed him?"

"Yep, two times drunk, one time sober, and now the dick is ignoring me like a stupid child"

"Well I don't blame him! He's engaged, Dean, how could you be so stupid?"

"I love him!" Dean shouted back at him.

Sam sobered up at that little fact and shook his head slowly. "He's still with another man, Dean, and you can't blame him for ignoring you and wanting to hide away"

"I couldn't care less who he is with because he kissed me back. I left that art gallery knowing I had made a breakthrough and now he's ignoring me like last time"

"Last time was different"

"Like I said, I don't care"

Dean moved away and sat down in front of the television turning it on and kicking back. Sam rolled his eyes exasperated at his brother and walked over dropping down next to him.

"If you want him, fight for him"

"I've tried"

"Clearly not hard enough"

"I've tried all I can think of! What else can I do?"

"Anything you want, Dean, because sitting here and doing nothing isn't going to win him back. You're only going to lose him more"

Dean sighed looking over to him and threw up his hands in defeat.

"Fine" he muttered and stood up. "The apartment, I can hope his fiancé isn't there"

"If he is what does it matter, you were once friends"

"Or fuck buddies"

"Dean!"

"I'm going!" he said walking out of the living area. Sam shook his head and whistled at Bones who walked over and sat down leaning into his touch.

"What are we going to do with him?" he murmured staring down at him.

Dean walked up the stairs of the apartment and stood outside of the door giving himself a moment before knocking. Castiel looked up from his laptop and pulled open the door freezing in surprise.

"Dean"

"Hey! So you've been ignoring me!" Dean said brightly and sobered up staring at Castiel with hard eyes.

"I'm sorry…"

"Yeah sure, is anyone in?"

"No, no one is in I…" he said and moved out of the way when Dean barged inside looking around and hummed in approval. Castiel sucked in his bottom lip and shut the door gently before turning around to face him.

"Why are you here?"

"Came to see you since you are ignoring my cute ass"

"Dean, I'm not ignoring you, I'm staying away"

"Why?"

"Why? Dean, we kissed and I'm engaged"

"You know what I'm getting really tired of hearing that" Dean snapped pointing a finger at him. "You're ridiculous for even mentioning it because you know what, Cas, engaged men do not go around and kiss other men"

"It was a mistake!"

"Everything is a fucking mistake with you!" Dean raged at him watching him flinch back.

"What do you want me to say or even do?"

"I want you to man the fuck up and start accepting things, Cas"

"Accepting what?"

"What you really feel"

"I feel nothing" Castiel muttered shaking his head side to side quickly. Dean shook his own in disappointment.

"It's like an endless circle isn't it? You love Balthazar, you're an engaged man, and then you kiss me, tell me you're dreaming about me, you get jealous when I'm speaking to another man but when finally a breakthrough is made you shut yourself back in"

"Because it's the right thing to do, I can't look him in the eye anymore and I feel guilty because he tells me over and over again that he loves me and I do, I love him too, but there's something overriding that and I can't…"

Dean stepped forward crushing their mouths together and feeling Castiel moan surprised. Dean's hands moved twirling his hands into Castiel's hair and tugging gently, Castiel gasped opening his mouth wider pushing his tongue against Dean's. The kiss was hot and languid till they broke apart, chests heaving, their breath mixing together, and Dean swallowed hard staring into his eyes.

"Well"

"That was bad, that was very, very, bad" Castiel whispered.

"But really good at the same time" Dean murmured with a smirk stroking his hands down his side and pulling him flush against him. Castiel stared up at him feeling Dean stroke his hands across his hips and midriff.

"Dean" he whispered in a broken voice and shut his eyes when his mouth moved to kiss and suck gently on his neck. Castiel fisted his hands into his shirt and let his head fall back falling completely under his spell for now.

The spell was broken though when they heard a car door slam and Castiel pulled back with a gasp.

"He's back" he hissed and gripped Dean's arm shoving him into the bedroom and into the closet. Dean stared at him with wide eyes and looked around the semi dark cupboard and nearly laughed out loud at how ridiculous this really was.

Castiel stepped out to see Balthazar come in looking tired but happy.

"Hello, love"

"Hello" Castiel murmured wiping his mouth gingerly and stepping towards him. Balthazar kissed the corner of his mouth and stepped back staring at him confused.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"No, we have no food and you have the card so I know you've just got back but I will love you forever more if you just go out, now, and get…some" he said awkwardly.

Balthazar raised an eyebrow baffled and nodded. "Sure, anything in particular?"

"Anything, I'm starved" he said with a small smile.

"Okay" Balthazar murmured with an amused chuckle and stepped out of the door once again. Castiel hovered waiting for the engine to go and the squeal of the wheels as he went away before running into the bedroom and yanking the cupboard door open.

"You have to go now!" he hissed dragging him out.

"I feel like I'm eighteen all over again and not a twenty four year old man!" he said looking to Castiel who rolled his eyes pulling him to the door. Dean pulled him towards him kissing him hard and pulling back.

"Ignore me or stay away again and I'll hunt your ass down" he hissed.

"Go" Castiel whispered opening the door watching Dean sigh and walk out of the door. Castiel slammed it shut and leaned against the wood breathing hard and straightened up regaining his composure. His lips tingled and he reached up brushing his fingertips over his bottom lip and closed his eyes relishing the memory.

The kisses he shared with Dean only minutes ago were nothing like he had with Balthazar and he wasn't trying to compare them but Castiel felt more in those kisses than he had done in years.

Dean stood outside looking up at the blue sky and smirked staring down at the ground. It was more of a breakthrough for Dean who could still taste Castiel in his mouth and he longed for more. He slid inside the car waiting for him and turned up the music loud humming along happily and went for a drive.

~0~0~0~

The next day, Castiel stood in the art gallery surrounded by people he didn't know and sighed deeply looking over to Becky.

"Kill me" he mouthed over to her. Becky smirked shaking her head at him.

"That would be too easy" she whispered over to him. "Balthazar is in his element"

Castiel hummed low in his throat watching him circle around "special" guests and leaned against the wall sipping champagne. He was lost in thought over last night when he felt a gentle tug on his arm and looked up at a drunken Balthazar.

"I think…I made a few promotions"

"Well done, I'm proud of you"

"How proud?"

"How many drinks have you had?"

"None"

Castiel laughed softly shaking his head at him. "I think you've had a bit too many"

"I can handle my drink" he whispered tilting his chin up and kissing him gently. Castiel smiled pulling away and stroking a hand down his cheek.

"Of course you can"

"I love you, you know"

"Oh dear, are we at the "I love you" stage of the night now?"

"Let's go home" Balthazar whispered linking their hands together.

"We can't just cut and run"

"Yes, yes, we can" Balthazar murmured tugging his hand and dragging him across the gallery floor. Castiel looked back to Becky who pressed her lips together thoughtfully and watched them leave. Becky didn't know how to feel about this and she knew of Castiel's inner conflict over everything and hated she couldn't help him.

Castiel took his keys out and smiled when his arms wrapped around him and kissed his neck.

"You're too sexy"

"Stop it" Castiel hissed with a chuckle removing his arms and opened the passenger door. "Get in the car"

"So commanding" Balthazar breathed and slid into the leather seat. Castiel shut the door and stood there for a moment inhaling deeply and let it out in a big puff, he drove them home and fought back his smiles when Balthazar constantly decided to play with him.

"I love you more than my job!" Balthazar cried when Castiel opened their apartment door and they stumbled in together.

"You need to calm down" Castiel urged kicking the door closed behind him and placing two hands on his cheeks. Balthazar gripped his hips pushing him towards the bed devouring his mouth and pressing him into the mattress. Castiel shut his eyes folding his hands into his hair and they flashed open when he imagined another person kissing down his neck and chest. Dean's face flashed into his mind and he made a small sound of distress feeling sick with guilt. Balthazar moved up claiming his mouth once again, his hands drifting down to pop open his top button. Castiel bit his lip feeling Dean's name on his lips and he longed to shout out and gasped knowing what was going to come next and knew deep down he wouldn't be able to keep it in.

Castiel was prepared when suddenly Balthazar stopped pulling away from him and swore softly.

"Balthazar?"

He balked and covered his mouth dashing to the toilet and Castiel dropped on the cover letting out a breath of relief. Castiel turned his head to hear Balthazar retching into the toilet and moved over to the bathroom to see him kneeling next to the toilet.

"Why is it always champagne? I never learn my lesson" he moaned into his arm.

"Bed" Castiel whispered kissing the top of his head and helping him up.

"I'm sorry"

"Nonsense, it's okay" Castiel murmured back to him and helped him into the bedroom and back into bed. Castiel stood by watching him strip off and crawl under the covers breathing deeply completely unaware over how his fiancé was feeling.

Castiel walked back into the living area and ran a hand into his hair in despair, he knew if Balthazar hadn't thrown up they would be having sex right now and his mind would be filled with the images of Dean and his name being moaned instead of Balthazar's. His jaw clenched and although he was glad to have returned to his home town and see his mom, his little sister, and baby brother he also hated that he had returned. Castiel hated and loved the fact that Dean had returned guns blazing into his life but it was affecting everything in his current life. It was destroying bit by bit his relationship and he was more than fine before Dean came along.

Snatching up his keys and redressing, Castiel stormed out with one intention on his mind as he drove back to the one house he thought he would never see again.

Dean was lying on his bed with earphones plugged in without a care in the whole damn world. He hadn't heard from him yet and it concerned him only a little but he knew what to do if the worst came to the worse.

Castiel stood outside staring at the flaky brown door and felt a wash of the memories hit him and he moved forward rapping the knocker. Sam who was sat in the kitchen looked up at the door and stepped towards it opening it up and blanched.

"Cas"

"Hello, Sam"

"Wow, um, what are you doing here?" Sam said stepping back to allow him inside and Castiel stared around the little hallway.

"I've come to see, Dean, is he here?"

"Yeah, yeah it's just me and him; the others are out of town at the moment"

"This may sound rude of me but I need more of a private moment with him, I think a few things need to be said"

Sam narrowed his eyes at him. "What's he done?"

"A lot more than I originally planned"

"Whatever he did, Cas, he didn't mean it"

"Will you give us privacy?"

"Sure" Sam said with a nod.

Castiel smiled softly in thanks and moved upstairs heading to the bedroom he hoped he still resided in and opened it up stepping inside. Dean opened his eyes and sat up staring at Castiel in surprise.

"I'm either dreaming or you're really here"

"This is no dream" Castiel said slamming the door behind him hard. Dean blinked and furrowed his brow confused.

"What's wrong?"

"You, it's you! Why did you have to come back into my life?" Castiel shouted angrily at him. "I've been here more than a week and look at what you've done already!"

"I've done nothing"

"You are so full of shit! The moment I arrived, Dean, you had a motive, you wanted to corrupt my mind! How could you do that to me?"

Dean pushed off the bed staring at him like he was insane. "No, no, that is bullshit! I didn't want to see you! Sam and Jo forced me to that fucking art gallery and I had to see you for the first time in six years and you looked fucking amazing. I had no motive; I had nothing but the need to have my best friend back"

"That ended five years ago!"

"Because of you!" Dean shouted furiously at him.

Downstairs, Sam listened to the shouting and swallowed hard looking down at Bones who whimpered by his legs.

"Come on, boy" he murmured grabbing his jacket and his leash. Sam stepped out into the semi warm night and tugged Bones with him.

"I tried so hard! You moved away, you left me all alone here and it broke me, Cas, but I tried for you. I called, I text you, I emailed every day wanting to feel that little bit of connection and you responded every time, you then came here and I spent a week with you. It was the last time I saw you and the last time I got to even hold you! I called every day and you ignored me, I couldn't do anything but wait!" Dean shouted angrily feeling every emotion he had bubble to the surface. "You ignored me and then I get a fucking letter telling me we're over! You ended it, Cas, you drove me out because you didn't want me in your new precious life, you didn't want me in this new life you had built and you wanted out. Castiel, the artist, the perfect example of a shit boyfriend"

"I ended it because I had to, you were fixated on me and you had no life. You told me you waited every day to speak to me!"

"I loved you, you stupid bastard! You were 100 miles away and I needed you! What did you want from me? One call every month, a text once in a blue moon and never see each other?"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to take my calls and stick by me. Instead you ended it and I slept with someone and even though it wasn't wrong of me it ruined the best thing I had ever had and lost" Dean said in a tight voice and looked away from him. "So don't you dare blame me for trying to get back in your life because you let me back in"

"I shouldn't have! I shouldn't have handed over that number because you are ruining everything!" Castiel shouted moving towards him.

"How am I?"

"Because you're taking over me, Dean, you're wielding yourself into my heart and my mind and I can't escape you! I nearly called your name out when Balthazar was all over me before"

"Lovely"

"No! No it's not!" Castiel shouted getting into his personal space. "Why couldn't you do what you wanted and left me alone?"

"Because I love you!" Dean shouted shoving him back. "I love your stupid ass so much I haven't been able to get over you; I have dated enough men and women to know that I can't! Constant dates thinking, they don't have your eyes, they don't smell the same, they aren't funny enough, they aren't good enough, and it was all because of you"

Castiel exhaled in his held breath staring into his fiery green eyes and went to step back when Dean gripped his arm keeping him in place.

"I shouldn't love you; I should hate you for how you treated me"

"Then why don't you?" Castiel hissed struggling in his grip.

"I just told you why and I've grown up, I've realised what I want, but you? You're hiding behind the great wall of Cas and hiding behind your precious fiancé"

"I'm not, I'm living my life"

"Yeah you are but you are not happy, Cas"

"You have no idea how I feel!"

"Yes I do!" Dean yelled at him letting go of Castiel who furiously went to hit him and gasped when Dean ducked and shoved him back till they hit the wall. Castiel groaned staring back at Dean breathing heavily.

"You feel something for me whether you are man enough to admit it or not"

"No"

"Stop being pathetic"

"Stop calling me names"

"Oh poor baby" Dean sneered and struggled pressing him back against the wall when he went to hit him again. "Stop trying to hit me"

"You're an asshole!" Castiel cried.

"Yeah I probably am but at least I'm not you"

Castiel exhaled shakily moving to shove him away. "I'm getting out of here and I don't want to see you again!"

"Sure you don't…you're such a little child!" Dean growled furiously. "I sometimes wish you hadn't told me how you felt all those years ago because right now I wouldn't be dealing with this shit!"

"So do I" Castiel hissed up at him and it was a low blow. Dean glowered angrily back at him and felt something inside him snap and he zeroed in on their close proximity. He didn't know how it happened but their lips were suddenly mashed together and Dean groaned pressing closer to him. Castiel brought his hands up fisting his hands into his hair pulling it tightly and feeling Dean groan and nip down on his bottom lip.

"Bastard" Dean hissed at him dragging him off the wall and throwing him down on the bed. Castiel stared up at him in anticipation and moaned when Dean moved down pulling him into a hot kiss. Clothes were shred quickly as they moved together and shifted up to the top of the bed and Dean spread his hands down his chest feeling the softness of his skin. Castiel stared down the length of his body pressed against his and threw back his head when Dean's lips pressed into his collarbone.

"Skip the foreplay" Castiel hissed at Dean who moved back up silencing him with a kiss.

"Shut up" he whispered against his lips but obeyed pulling open his drawer and grabbing a packet of lube which he ripped open with his teeth. Castiel stared up at him finding the action incredibly hot and bit his lip with a stifled moan when Dean spread his legs wide open and smeared the lube over the entrance. He moaned wriggled on the bed cover which despite how Dean felt made him smirk.

"Stay still!" Dean ordered pinning his wrists down for a moment before shifting his hand down and pressing a finger deep inside him and a second. Castiel cried out flexing his hands and fisting them into the covers and the pillow underneath him. There was nothing but the heat between them driven by anger and passion from the both them. Dean removed his fingers and slid up catching him in a deep kiss and slowly slid inside him.

"Dean, yes, oh god" he moaned clinging to his shoulders and wrapping his legs around his waist when Dean started to thrust inside him deeply. Dean angled his hips slamming deep inside him catching the sweet spot and erupting delicious moans of pleasure from Castiel who helplessly begged for more. It was fast paced, rough, and with no surrender as the headboard slammed into the wall behind them as they moved effortlessly together.

Castiel wrapped a hand around his own cock pumping in time with Dean's thrusts inside him and cried out loudly when Dean bit into his shoulder.

"You asshole" Castiel hissed fisting his hand into his hair tugging hard. Dean moved with his hand and looked down at Castiel who stared up at him and he shoved Castiel's hand away from his cock and wrapped his own hand around it.

Two shots of pleasure ran through Castiel who arched his back off the bed when Dean pumped him furiously along with his thrusts and smiled satisfied when Castiel writhed and climaxed with a heartfelt moan. It didn't take Dean long to press his forehead to Castiel's and come deeply inside of him. Sweat dripped down Dean and Castiel as the anger faded slowly and they stared at each other.

"Oh god" Dean murmured dropping down and resting on Castiel who pressed his nose and mouth into his sweaty hair. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, no, I'm okay" Castiel murmured and shut his eyes feeling exhausted. "I didn't expect that?"

"Really? I quite like angry sex" Dean whispered with a smirk. "I meant and didn't mean a lot of the things I said, Cas, but one thing is true. I do love you and I always have"

Castiel swallowed stroking a hand down his cheek and pressed his lips over his top lip tasting salt from his sweat and something sweeter. Dean smiled softly and pressed his face into the crook of his neck whilst Castiel closed his eyes feeling the guilt over cheating but it felt so right. It was just the matter of trying to work his way around it without broken hearts but it was a fool's hope.

A/N: I update this lot more than I should but when I get excited over a story, I want to write and write and write.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I love your feedback so much.