Castiel lay in bed staring at the luminous light from the alarm clock and sighed deeply. Balthazar's arm was wrapped loosely around his waist and his breath hot and gentle against the base of his spine, the guilt gnawed away at the pit of his stomach. It had been two days since he had last seen Dean and he craved him more than anything. Work seemed to be busier than usual and he had no time for Dean or anything else at the moment.

He sighed rolling on to his back shutting his eyes when his phone hummed next to him. Castiel looked over to it baffled and looked at the time, 3.23am, and pulled it towards him.

Dean.

Outside now!

Castiel swallowed looking over to Balthazar and slid out of his arm, he froze looking over to Balthazar who snorted and rolled over to his side. Castiel shut his eyes slowly letting out a puff of air and moved out of the bedroom and opened the front door. His eyes roamed around the darkness and he stepped outside.

"Dean?" he whispered.

Sudden movement startled him and he gasped when he was pushed against the stone wall. Dean smirked at him when he stared at him in shocked awe and pulled him into a fierce kiss.

"Why are you here at 3am?"

"I haven't seen you in two days"

"Work" Castiel said with a small sigh trailing his hands into his hair and smiling when Dean trailed his nose and mouth up his cheek.

"I've missed you"

"I know"

"I've also missed this a great deal" Dean murmured moving his hands down into his black pyjama bottoms and cupped him. Castiel gasped clinging to his upper arms and shaking his head at him.

"Is sex all you think about, Dean?"

"Sometimes" Dean whispered taking hold of his chin and stroking his tongue into his mouth and feeling him harden instantly under his touch. "But I think about you more, I need your help tomorrow"

"What?"

"Jo's birthday is coming up and if you remember, I am a hopeless case"

"I do" Castiel whispered and moaning when Dean kissed his throat. "I'll help you"

"Good" Dean whispered staring into his eyes. Castiel's mouth flickered into another small smile, kissed him quickly and pulled away.

"You have to leave I need my sleep"

"Don't be a spoilsport, come to the car"

"I would but I can't, Dean, he'll notice I'm gone" Castiel murmured softly. Dean's eyes shown his frustration and he nodded mutely.

"I'll call later on"

"Okay" Castiel muttered softly and shut his eyes when Dean leaned into to kiss him and dodged.

"I love you" Dean murmured against the shell of his ear and moved away leaving him slumped against the wall. His dark figure retreated into the night leaving Castiel to watch till he disappeared and he returned inside. Castiel stood at the frame of the door watching Balthazar sleep on stroking his fingers across his bottom lip still tasting Dean on his tongue. It sent a thrill up his spine and he smiled looking down at the worn brown carpet but his own guilt drove him to the laundry cupboard dragging out a spare blanket. Castiel wrapped it around his shoulders curling up into the corner of the couch and holding a book out in front of him. He sighed flicking it open and started to read.

Balthazar noticed the lack of heat by his side and opened one eye looking over his shoulder to the emptiness. He grunted pushing up and padding out of the room to see tucked up and buried deep into a book unaware of his presence. Balthazar didn't know what to make of this and cocked his head confused walking over to him and pressing a hand on his shoulder.

Castiel jumped clutching his heart. "You scared me"

"Why are you awake?"

"Restlessness, dear" Castiel murmured shutting the book and craning his head back to look at him. "Go back to bed"

"Not without you"

Castiel looked away licking his chapped lips and threw the book down. "Okay"

Balthazar waited patiently when he circled the couch and moved back into the bedroom, his brow furrowed and he walked after him grabbing hold of his hand and tugging him back.

"What's wrong and don't lie" he ordered staring into his openly confused eyes.

"Nothing, I just can't sleep"

"That's a lie, Cas, and I told you not to lie to me. I know you; I know that when you lie you look away from me"

Castiel swallowed when he threw down his hand. "I'm not lying, I'm tired and I can't sleep"

"Sure" Balthazar said with a nod walking around him and climbing back under the covers. "Do whatever you want"

Castiel hovered near the door and inhaled deeply and exhaled turning on his heel and climbing back into the bed. Pressing a hand against his back, Castiel closed his eyes at the heat emanating and gasped softly when he turned over and gripped his hand.

"You lied to me"

"I'm not lying"

"Promise?"

"Yes" he murmured looking down at him. Balthazar bit into the soft flesh of his bottom lip before bringing him down and kissing him gently. Castiel responded and pulled away pressing a hand on his cheek stroking down it softly.

"Sleep"

Balthazar's eyes fluttered close and left Castiel to watch over him whilst he slept once again. Castiel looked up staring across the mirror on the floor and could see the faint outline of his reflection staring back at him, he knew if anyone knew of his deceit apart from Becky and probably, Sam, they would be ashamed. Sleep felt heavy on his eyes and he dropped down on the pillow with a weary sigh and shut them eagerly accepting unconsciousness.

~0~0~0~

Ellen raised an eyebrow at Sam when Dean came bumbling in singing loudly.

"Don't even ask" Sam said with a wave of his hand.

"Well I'm gonna, why is he so fucking happy?"

"One guess"

"Castiel"

Sam nodded with a raised eyebrow and spread jam on his toast. "They're having sex"

"What?"

"Yeah" Sam murmured in agreement. "Well I heard them the other night having a huge argument and the next I know I can hear them having sex"

"He's engaged"

"Don't say that to Dean, he claims that Castiel doesn't really love Balthazar and the word engaged means nothing"

"Bullshit" she said horrified and stood up following Dean out into the yard. Dean threw a piece of bacon to Bones who caught it and chewed it happily; he smiled tilting his head back to feel the warm glow of the sunshine unaware of Ellen. Ellen tugged him hard giving him a brutal slap that left him reeling and stumbling back.

"What the hell!" he cried cupping his stinging cheek and staring at an enraged Ellen.

"You stupid, naïve, and pathetic boy!" she raged slapping his arm. "Fucking an engaged man? It's like something out of those corny films!"

"What!"

"You heard me! What were you thinking?"

"Oh leave it, Ellen" he said with a deep scowl. "It's nothing, it's over"

"What do you mean?" Ellen said stopping in her stride.

"That we had our argument, we got rid of this…tension between us, and it's done. He loves Balthazar, not me, so I've left him to it. He leaves in a few weeks so I'm going to do my best to stay away and live my life" Dean said determinedly and rubbed his sore cheek. "You got some right hook"

Ellen narrowed her eyes watching him carefully and straightened up with a small nod.

"Let's keep it that way" Ellen said in a cool voice. Dean kicked the dirty ground and hated the fact he had to lie to her but if meant protecting them both for now then he would. Ellen returned inside to see Sam look up at her curiously.

"It's over apparently, one fuck and goodbye"

"No way" he murmured casting his eyes over to the backdoor in disbelief.

"Who knows what to believe" she replied grabbing the cup of coffee and returning upstairs. Sam tapped his fingers against the table thinking hard before joining Dean out in the sunshine.

"One fuck and goodbye" Sam repeated standing at his side. "Is that true?"

"No, I just had to tell that to Ellen before she beat me to death" he spoke in a tired tone. "We're…still…well you know"

"Dean…"

"It'll do for now, Sam"

"You're going to break another man's heart, Dean; can you really live with that?"

Dean turned to face him and nodded. "I get Cas back in every way I want, he's just the same but with more wisdom and more technique"

"Eurgh" Sam said with a wrinkle of his nose. Dean laughed and turned back to face the sun.

"He's up for it and so am I"

"I don't get it though, why would you want him like this?"

"Because he's not ready, Sam, I've told you this. I start demanding, I lose him"

"Is he worth it?" Sam murmured softly looking down at the ground.

Dean bit his lip and turned to face him dead on.

"Like I told him during that argument, I date men, women, and I woo them and fuck them, it's how a 20th century date takes place these day without the food involved. I date them and the one thing constantly running through my head is… they're not him and they never will. Six years ago I fell in love with my best friend like he did with me and we both ruined it with selfishness, greed, and something we couldn't handle. He's back and yeah he's engaged but I had him first and I want him last" Dean said staring into Sam's eyes with a soulful stare. "I can't help it and I don't want to stop till I know in my heart he's all mine once again"

Dean stepped back and whistled at Bones who ran after him as they walked back into the house. Sam turned his head feeling him disappear and looked up at the blue sky feeling the warmth prickle his skin and knew spring was leaving and summer was entering.

Dean pulled out his cell and dialled his number as he walked.

"Hello, Dean" Castiel said answering the call.

"Hey, Casanova, please tell me you are still up for today"

"Of course, I cancelled all plans"

"Okay, well wear…breezy clothes"

"Breezy? What…Dean?" he cried and heard the dial tone.

Castiel sighed dropping his phone. "You've not changed"

Dean arrived outside the apartments with a soft purr of the engine signalling his arrival. Castiel stepped out wearing khakis and a white t-shirt and slid inside the car and took down his sunglasses.

"Smooth" Dean commented and tugged him over kissing him hot and roughly.

"If you say so" Castiel breathed against his lips and smiled when he growled low nipping at his jaw. "Drive"

Dean laughed softly moving him back gently and shifting her into gear. Castiel leaned back looking at the sights as they passed by and soon they were in town.

"We are here for Jo?"

"Yep" Dean said parking her up and stepping out. "I'm useless at shopping for girls"

"So you're asking a gay man to help you out"

"Nope, I'm asking you" Dean said poking his side as they walked together. Castiel chuckled swatting his hand away and looked at the dozen of shops.

"So where do we start? What are her preferences for presents?"

"Not a clue" Dean replied giving him a sidelong glance. "Help"

"Come on" Castiel said with a sigh taking him into the nearest shop.

Dean circled the items and picked up a blue vase. "How about this"

"You can't be serious"

"Why not?"

"Because it is not a birthday present, Dean, don't you know anything about women?"

"Nope" Dean said honestly shaking his head much to Castiel's amusement.

"What kind of perfume does she like?"

"Exotic"

"Are you sure?"

"No"

"You're hopeless" Castiel muttered walking away from him. "She is your sort of sister, Dean; surely you have watched and know what she likes"

"Fine, let's go the perfume shop like big girls" Dean growled moving out of the busy shop closely followed by Castiel.

They browsed the sections of the new shop and Dean sniffed a product in disgust.

"This is disgusting" he called loudly earning a disapproving look from the sales woman who huffed walking away from them both. Castiel glowered at Dean who stifled his laughter and aimed to squirt it at Castiel who shoved his hand away playfully.

"Stop it and choose one"

"You're sexy when you're commanding"

"I said choose one"

"Talk dirty to me" Dean purred into ear as he walked by and winked at him when he flushed embarrassed. Dean stopped picking up a blue bottle sniffing it and pulled away with approval.

"I think she may like this"

"You are one hundred per cent sure?"

"Yeah, this one please" he called to the sales woman and flashed a dazzling smile of apology. She blushed and wrapped it up nicely for him before handing it over and taking the money.

"Have a nice day"

"Don't tell me what to do" Dean replied with a stony expression and laughed when Castiel dragged him away calling out apologies.

"What the hell was that, Dean?"

"Dude, have you ever seen Drake and Josh on Nickelodeon? No, well it's awesome and I don't care" Dean replied with bright eyes and a chuckle. Castiel closed his eyes in horror and followed him out.

"You are still a little child inside aren't you?"

"Yep and proud, baby, now get in the car" Dean said jumping in. "We're taking a little detour and having a little fun"

Castiel slid into the seat and watched him with a growing affection that had never dampened. Dean was in full stride as they drove them the miles to the beach they used to come as children, Castiel noticed and sat up a little straighter when he noticed the familiar sight of the beach.

"Dean, you remembered"

"Of course I remembered" Dean said shooting him an annoyed look and stepping out of the car. "That's why I told you to wear breezy clothes"

"I understand now" Castiel murmured looking out across the beach to see dozens of people sunbathing, walking, playing, swimming in the water, and generally having a lovely day. Castiel smiled when Dean smirked beckoning at him to follow him and they walked down the steps onto the soft sand. Castiel inhaled deeply taking in the smell of the sea air and wet sand feeling finally at home and placed his sunglasses on his eyes.

"Come on" Dean said to him as they walked down the beach together to try and find a more secluded area. Dean reached out for Castiel when he walked ahead and tugged him back so they were joined together.

"You want to know something ridiculous?"

"Yes" Castiel murmured linking his arms around his neck and smiling when Dean took away his sunglasses and tossed them on the sand below them.

"That you are even more attractive in the sun"

"It's deluding your mind"

"Never" Dean whispered as they moved towards each other and kissed softly and languidly. Castiel chuckled when he shoved him away and pulled him towards the water.

"Dean, no" Castiel hissed pressing his heels into the sand but to no avail as he was tugged down towards the water.

"Is Castiel afraid of getting wet?"

"No, I just don't want to and…" he said and was cut off when Dean splashed the cold water at him. Castiel glowered at him for a long moment before charging forward and shoving him into the water. Dean gasped when the coldness of the sea struck him and he pulled him with him as they struggled together.

"You're going down, Milton" Dean teased moving to kick under his feet when Castiel dodged and kicked his instead.

"No, Winchester, you are" he said when Dean flailed backwards swearing and fell under the water. Castiel laughed brightly moving back when he spluttered emerging from the cold sea and glared furiously at him.

"You're dead! Come here!" Dean yelled at him when he laughed running out of the water. Dean ran after him and caught him tugging him down onto the soft sand, Castiel landed on top of it with a soft groan.

"You caught me" Castiel murmured reaching up a hand to brush away the soaked lock of hair resting against his forehead. Dean looked down at him with no emotion in his expression and eyes for a second before dragging him into a seating position and straddling his waist. Castiel wrinkled his nose when his wet clothes touched his but didn't mind when Dean stroked his hand into his hair.

"I remember coming here for the first time; it was before we knew how we really felt about each other"

"You kept talking about Cassandra Robinson and I was so jealous because you really liked her and she liked you but it was complicated"

"We spent all day playing in the sea, eating ice-cream and eventually just sunbathed for hours on end" Dean murmured trailing his fingers across his collarbone.

Castiel laughed softly at the memory. "We were so sunburnt, my mom freaked out about skin cancer"

"Those were good times"

"Yeah…for you" Castiel said lying back down and staring up at Dean. "I wanted to kiss you here…underneath the sun, the sand, and the general happiness that comes with the package of spending the day at the beach. I wanted this place to be our first kiss"

Dean noticed the wistfulness in his eyes linger there before disappearing for good.

"Instead it was a drunken fumble on a hill"

"It's our hill"

"Indeed" Castiel murmured staying still when Dean interlocked their fingers together and brought him up placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"We all have our dreams but sometimes they arrive but not in the way we want" Dean said carefully and climbed off him holding out his hand. "Ice-cream?"

"Yes please" Castiel murmured when he was hauled up. They travelled along the rest of the beach back towards the stand where ice-cream was sold. Dean bought two and handed one over to him when his eyes lit up in delight.

"I have missed ice-cream; it's been far too many years"

"I forgot you're on a diet"

"Not anymore thanks to you, Dean Winchester"

"Pleasure to have been in service in more ways than one" Dean said licking the cool vanilla onto his tongue and humming in his own pleasure. Castiel watched him with curiosity and moved towards him when a dollop landed on his top lip; he bent towards him licking it off with a sweep of tongue and looked into his eyes with a smile.

"That…that was hot" Dean murmured eagerly moving towards him when they kissed and could taste sand and vanilla in Castiel's mouth. Dean's hand pressed into the small of his back holding him in place and kissing gently down his jaw. Castiel smiled resting his cheek against his and understood why he fell in love with him all those years ago. A brand new side of Castiel always emerged around Dean that he never had with Balthazar. It was difficult for Castiel to compare them but with moments and days like this, Castiel wondered why he ever left Dean and was deeply curious about the life they could have shared.

"Should we go into the backseat or…?"

"We have plenty of time for sex" Castiel whispered pretending to bite the tip of his nose. "Let's go explore some more, get some beer, and enjoy the rest of our day before we return to the backseat ending up a lot sweatier than we are now"

"Fantastic idea" Dean said smacking his ass and letting him lead the way.

~0~0~0~

Balthazar arrived home earlier than suspected and opened the door to an empty apartment.

"Cassy?" Balthazar shouted looking around and stopping only to hear the hum of the fridge and the tick of the clock around him. "Home alone"

Balthazar kicked off his shoes and turned on the television prepared to relax when he saw something glitter in the light. He straightened up and moved seeing the engagement ring half hidden under the cushion off the couch.

With shaky hands he collected it and held it up in front of him watching the silver engagement ring swing gently in the breeze. Balthazar's heart hammered against his chest and he knew something was up. Castiel never, ever, took off his engagement ring and now here it was stuffed down the couch carelessly left behind. Anger built up inside him and he pocketed it quickly dialling his number.

Castiel's voicemail answered and he groaned slamming the phone down and flinging it away. Balthazar wasn't stupid and he knew Dean had something to do with what was happening but in Balthazar's eyes Dean had his turn and ruined it. Castiel was engaged to be wed to him and he wasn't prepared to give him up without a fight.

A/N: Thank you all very much for all the reviews! I love this more than anything and I am so, so, so, sorry for not updating Dark Love but I swear I will do soon for anyone wondering.