Chapter 7

30 May 2011 - Memorial Day

It was Memorial Day and the Hudmels were having a back yard barbecue. Finn had invited all of New Directions to join them and everyone was standing around in the back yard enjoying the sun and the food.

"Do I really have to eat these turkey burgers, Kurt? I mean is it turkey or a burger? There's something not right about that."

"Dad, it's healthy. You are not going to have any of those heart attacks on a bun. Turkey burgers are delicious and they're made from organic free range turkeys. Carol, I'm counting on you."

Carol gave Kurt and affectionate hug and promised, "I've been taking care of your father, Kurt. You don't need to worry about him. Go on and hang out with your friends."

Sam was playing his guitar and singing with Puck and Artie. Quinn was sitting on the ground with Sam's little brother and sister. Kurt reckoned that he'd brought them, in part, for the free food. He wished that he could help them more. Sam's father had lost his job and they were nearly homeless. His mother had taken a job cleaning rooms in the cheap motel his family lived in but it wasn't nearly enough. Kurt thought about buying Sam a winning lotto ticket but that seemed like a futile gesture once he thought about it. He could only ensure that one Sam won while creating thirteen million who were left holding a losing ticket. Sometimes knowing that everything that could happen did happen made decision making difficult.

"Dude, why are you carrying an umbrella?" asked Finn as he approached with Rachel in tow. "It isn't raining. There isn't a cloud in the sky."

"Exactly, Finn. My delicate skin cannot take this much sun."

"That's very smart of you, Kurt," agreed Rachel. "Skin cancer would be very bad for your acting career."

"Kurt!" cried Mercedes as she ran to him and pulled him into a hug. "It's so good to see you, baby. You haven't come home to see me nearly enough since you went traipsing off to Dalton."

"Sorry, I'll see you more now. We have all summer to catch up. Tomorrow, I'll be packing my things and saying goodbye to my friends in Westerville."

"It's going to be great having you back at McKinley. I just hate that you ever had to leave."

"It was good for me Mercedes. I've missed McKinley but I'm not sorry that I went."

"I know. You got a boyfriend out of it. Your dad still doesn't know, does he?"

"I don't think so."

"What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's leaving right? Are you breaking up or are you going to try the long distance thing?"

Kurt sighed. He knew exactly what he was going to do and he even thought it was the right thing for Thad but he would never know for sure.

"Breakup. Long distance relationships don't work. Worse, he'd going to college, Cedes. I'm still just a high school kid."

"I'm so sorry, boo. But at least you had a relationship for a while. I went to Prom alone. How sad is that?"

"Cedes, you'll find someone soon." You have in other lines. It will happen here, too.

Prom. Kurt remembered an entirely different prom than everyone here. Sam and Quinn were prom king and queen in this universe. No one remembered the cruel joke that the a students had played on him but no one remembered his dance with Blaine either. It had been one of their best moments together. First, Blaine had opened up to him about what had happened to him and then had been so brave and strong at McKinley. He still had the memories in his heart even if no one else did.

It was strange. At first, this universe had seemed radically different from the one before it since he'd never imagined being with someone other than Blaine. But all of those differences stemmed from something that had happened just seven or eight months ago. Kurt couldn't pin point it exactly but someone had made a different choice and everything rippled from there.

"Kurt, don't be sad. Our senior your will be awesome. If neither of us have a date, we'll go to senior prom together," promised Mercedes.

"Sure, that would be great but it's a little early to be planning that isn't it? Summer is just starting and that's nearly a year away."

"Kurt, you and I should sing a duet," interrupted Rachel. "Sam is hogging the spot light."

"There's no spot light, Rachel. It's a picnic not a Broadway musical," objected Kurt.

"Nonsense, I never miss an opportunity to perform. Finn, come on. We're singing Don't Go Breaking My Heart."

"Again? How many times do we have to sing that, Rachel?" whined Finn.

"Until you get it right, Finn."

31 May 2011

Officially, it was the last day of class at Dalton but the boys spent the day having goodbye parties and goofing around. Those that lived in the dorms had until late that night to get moved out so many of them skipped classes to pack.

The Warblers, still giddy from their third place victory, met for the last time of the year. The trophy was sitting between Wes and Dave on the council's table.

"This meeting of the Warblers is called to order," announced Wes. "We have just one item on the agenda today. Dave, if you would, please?"

"Today, we will vote for the three juniors who will lead the council next year as seniors. Everyone may vote for up to three candidates and the top three candidates will be the council. The candidate with the highest number of votes will be the chair. It's pretty simple. I have the ballots for those of you that wish to vote. It will be a secret ballot. Thad? Would you pass out the ballets, please? As is tradition, seniors are allowed to vote but the council itself will abstain."

Kurt debated abstaining since he wasn't returning but decided, why not? Blaine, Jeff, Nick, Trent, Pete, and Brock were running along with four other Warblers who Kurt didn't know as well. Kurt went ahead and voted for Blaine, Jeff, and Nick, thinking that would be a perverse dynamic if they actually won. In the end, Jeff made it on the council with Trent and Brock. Perhaps putting the lead singer on the council that decided solos was too much for the Warblers. For what ever reason, everyone congratulated the winners and the meeting was adjourned.

Kurt followed Thad up to the dorm room they shared. He walked in and looked around the room that he'd never seen before, reflecting on this alternate life. The first thing the he noticed was the one large bed instead of two singles. On closer examination, he realized that they'd put the two singles together and added a mattress topper. He wondered what they did if his father came to visit. The two boys packed up Kurt's things, making several trips together to his car. Along the way the passed other boys doing the same. Kurt stopped several times to say goodbye to those he knew.

They saw Jeff and Nick loading Jeff's car. Kurt was inclined to ignore them but Jeff waved them over.

"Thad, I'm really sorry for the things I said in New York. It's no excuse but Blaine and I were kind of in a fight about something he did and I guess I took it out on you just because you were there."

"Kurt actually explained it to me. I completely understand. I don't hold any grudge. It isn't like my propensity for formal manners hasn't been noted previously. By many people in fact. I'm used to it."

"So, what's up with the two of you now?" asked Kurt. Kurt looked back and forth between Nick and Jeff unsure as to what was going on.

"I'm taking Nick to the airport," supplied Jeff unhelpfully. Kurt was pretty sure Jeff must have understood what he was asking but since he chose not to answer, he didn't press the issue.

They said their goodbyes and Kurt and Thad went back to the task at hand. When everything was packed, they stood in the room together, Thad clinging to the younger boy.

"I don't want you to go yet."

"I won't. I'll stay a while longer. We have to talk before we go."

"I don't want to go either."

Kurt chuckled.

"Well, eventually maintenance will come by to clear the dorms and kick you out. You can't stay."

"I know it's silly but..." Thad sighed and held Kurt tighter. "I should be on the road already. It's a six and half hour drive and my dad expects me to be there tonight. But I just don't want to let go of you. I don't know when I'll see you again."

"I know. I know it's hard," Kurt said rubbing his hands soothingly along his boyfriend's back. This was the hard part. He could pretend to love Thad for a few days but it had to end now. Long distance relationships rarely worked in the best of circumstances and this...well, it just couldn't, could it? Kurt understood how he could have fallen in love with Thad. He'd been the one who been there for him, not Blaine, but knowing it didn't substitute for having lived it. He had to make it clear to Thad that they were breaking up but somehow not break his heart. Kurt pulled away and started to undo Thad's tie.

"We have some time before we have to be out of here," he said suggestively.

Afterward, they stayed in bed tangled together for some time before talking. Thad with his head on Kurt's chest as Kurt held him.

"Please don't doubt that I love you, Thad," Kurt started.

"I know what you're going to say, angel," replied Thad sadly.

"You do?"

"It's obvious. I want to try, Kurt. I don't want to give up on us."

"I'm not giving up. I just think that there's more heart break in trying to make it work. If we're truly meant to be together, then we will be some day. All I'm asking is for you not to wait for me. If you meet someone cute and you like him, just tell him that you're single. If anyone asks if you have a boyfriend, just say no. We can keep in touch and see each other. If someday, we still feel the same and we can be together, then I hope you would be willing to try no matter how we leave things today. But if we try and fail, don't you think we might lose more? I don't want to end this with some fight down the road because you meet someone in college. I want to be happy for you and still be friends if that happens."

"Or you meet someone."

"In Lima? At McKinley High?" Kurt snorted.

"When you move to New York, after you graduate. There are plenty of eligible guys there. They'll be all over someone as special and beautiful as you. You're going to be a star someday. I believe in you."

Kurt didn't realize Thad was crying until he felt the wetness on his chest. He sat up and held Thad close.

"Don't cry. Please don't cry," he pleaded. "We had so much. Please promise that we'll still be friends. I don't want to do this but I don't want to part making promises that we can't keep. I want what we have after today to be honest."

"I love you so much. How am I going to live without you, angel?"

"You have to. I love you, too. Just remember that."

Thad disentangled himself, dried his eyes, and got dressed. Kurt did the same.

"You're right. I know you are but I didn't want to admit it. I'm not really ready for this to be over. You coming into my life...Kurt it was such an unexpected gift and I know I'm greedy to want more but I do."

"It's not goodbye forever. At least, I hope not."

"Me too."

They held each other for a while before Thad was ready to walk Kurt to his car. As they said their goodbyes by his car, Kurt was haunted by the choices he'd made in the last few days. He just hoped that he'd done the right thing by staying with Thad these last few days.

01 June 2011

Kurt met Mercedes in the morning at the Lima Bean. He only half paid attention to the two girls as they chatted on about summer plans. Kurt watched other lines just to be doing it as he often did. He wasn't searching for anything in particular when he saw Blaine. Blaine gazing at Kurt, as Kurt waved his arms in excitement. It was the perfect moment. He could just jump. He had no idea which Blaine he'd end up with but it looked like they were together. Before he could make up his mind, he saw Blaine walk in the door in the line he was in. He let go of the alternate realities that he'd been watching and focused on the world he was in. This was it. He was staying here. He didn't know if he could but he was going to try. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't jump before and only succeeded for a while but maybe this time he'd make this one universe his home.

After he picked up his coffee order, Kurt waved and called to Blaine, "Blaine, come sit with us. Blaine, this is Rachel and Mercedes."

"Hi, I'm Blaine," he said as he sat next to Rachel, across from Kurt.

"I know who you are, Blaine Warbler," snapped Rachel.

"It's Anderson, actually. I sing in the Warblers but the name is Anderson."

"Whatever your name is, the only reason that we lost to you at Regionals is that Mr. Shue refused to listen to my genius. I wanted to sing original songs but he insisted on Sing."

"You write songs?" Blaine asked with obvious interest. "So do I."

"Well, I haven't actually completed any yet but I'm working on a few concepts based on my personal experiences."

"About what?" asked Blaine.

"Oh no you don't, you tricky spy. I'm not sharing my song ideas with you!" objected Rachel.

"So Blaine," interrupted Kurt. "What brings you to the Lima Bean?"

"I'm on my way to St. Louis to audition at Six Flags. If I get the gig, I'll be there for the summer."

"St. Louis? I don't think Lima is on the way between Westerville and St. Louis."

"You know Rachel, I think we should get going now if we want to get to that thing on time," exclaimed Mercedes.

"What thing?" asked Rachel, looking confused.

"You know. That thing. The one we need to be at right now," insisted Mercedes as she stood and literally dragged Rachel out of her chair. "See you later, Kurt. Nice to meet you, Blaine," she called as she continued dragging a protesting Rachel out of the shop.

"What was that about?" asked Blaine, as the two girls disappeared.

"I have no idea. So why are you here, Blaine?"

"I told you. I was just driving through. And yes, I know it isn't on the way from Westerville. As you know, the dorms closed last night, so I couldn't stay at Dalton and I didn't want to start for St. Louis so late so I stayed with a friend in Findlay."

"But your parents live in Westerville."

"How do you know that?"

Oops. He'd forgotten that he and Blaine-6 weren't close enough for him to know that.

"I'm sure someone mentioned it. Maybe it was Jeff. Speaking of Jeff, what's going one with you two?"

"We broke up."

"He dumped you?"

"It was a mutual decision. We were never in love, Kurt. It's no secret that Jeff is in love with Nick."

"You're admitting it now?"

"Well, I guess maybe Nick is in love with Jeff too and they've decided to explore that. I think Jeff and I were over anyway. I tried to pretend that we were boyfriends but really I guess were were more like..."

"Friends with benefits?"

"More like friends with benefits without the friends part."

"Ouch. Blaine, I'm sorry that you thought you should settle for something like that. You are a wonderful and interesting person. You deserve more."

"Maybe I didn't want more, Kurt. It wasn't Jeff's fault. We both got what we wanted out of it. Jeff is a good person. I do like him but we just didn't have anything common." Blaine suddenly blushed and looked away. "Well, that's not strictly true but nothing that we could do in public," he amended.

"So you're going to St Louis for the summer?" Kurt asked to change the subject. He didn't want to think about Blaine having sex with Jeff. It was unfair to be jealous but he was.

"Yeah, I have to audition but once I get the job, I'll get an apartment for the Summer."

"Wow, you don't mind living on your own like that? What if you don't get the part? Aren't you being a little cocky?"

"Well, I suppose there is a chance of that but I worked there last Summer so I have an edge. As for living on my own - I'll probably find a roommate. I roomed with a couple of my castmates last year. On the other hand, I have plenty of money so it is just for company. I don't need the job either, obviously. I just do it for the experience."

"And so you don't have to go home," Kurt commented.

"Good observation. Yeah, so I don't have to go home. My dad and I don't really get along. We don't fight or anything but it's hard to stay with him. What are you doing, besides working at your dad's garage? That surprised me, you know; I have trouble imagining you getting your perfectly manicured hands covered in grease."

"I grew up helping my dad in his garage. It's something we can do together and I love it actually. I know it seems out of character but we bond over it. Some of my best memories with my dad are working on cars together. And I'm really good at it."

"My dad and I rebuilt a '59 Chevy in our driveway two summers ago. One of his many attempts at bonding."

"Did it work?" Kurt knew the answer already but he figured it was the thing to ask.

"No. Honestly, I think it was a last ditch effort to turn me straight. That didn't work, either," Blaine said with a laugh. "He didn't seem to get that getting one's hands dirty had nothing to do with being gay. Or that I couldn't change it no matter how much I wanted to please him."

"That's sad. I'm sorry. That's one thing I've always had no matter where I..." Kurt caught himself mid sentence. "No matter what else happened in my life, my dad has been there for me. Accepting me. I know it's hard for him but he does it anyway. I'm not the son he expected either but he loves me just the same."

"Don't you think he wishes you were straight?"

"Maybe. But wishing for things to be different isn't the same as rejecting someone."

"You're lucky. You didn't answer my question though - is that all you're doing this summer?"

"No, I'm working on a musical. Pip Pip Hooray. It's about Pip Middleton."

Blaine laughed, "That's...that's adorable. I hope you'll let me read it when you're done. Or better yet, I hope to see it performed."

"Maybe you will."

"Do you ever think about what if things had gone differently in your life? If you'd just done one small thing differently, maybe your entire life would be different?"

Kurt smiled as he said, "All the time. You have no idea how much I think about exactly that."

"You know, the day you came to Dalton, I was sick so I didn't meet you until you joined the Warblers. You were so sassy and funny that I...don't think badly of me because I had a boyfriend at the time but I was so jealous that Thad had met you first." Blaine looked embarrassed at the revelation.

"Really? You were dating tall, blond, and hunky and you wondered what if you'd met me before Thad? Now you're just flirting, Blaine. And not very believably."

"No, really I did. Just in a what if sort of way. You're really special, Kurt. I wish we had been better friends."

"It's not too late," Kurt said.

"To be friends?"

"Yeah, friends," agreed Kurt. "Maybe after you get back from St Louis, we could hang out some time. Call me."

"I don't have your phone number," Blaine teased.

"That's easy to fix."

The boys exchanged phones and entered their contact information.

"It's a seven hour drive to St Louis, so I should probably go," Blaine commented but he made no move toward the door.

They ended up talking for two more hours before Blaine finally left. Mostly small talk about fashion, preferred music, movies and books, peppered with serious talk of hopes for the future. Kurt pretended that he didn't know any of these things about Blaine. Occasionally, it was hard to remember that he hadn't met Blaine's mom and sisters. That they hadn't spent hours making out in Blaine's bed. That they hadn't shared their dreams of moving to New York together. But as hard as that was, Kurt found it exhilarating to discover Blaine all over again.

It was also eerily like the first afternoon that they's spent at the Lima Bean together last November. They were both a little older and a little less innocent but they talked of many of the same things that Kurt and Blaine-3 had.

Kurt didn't know if Blaine really would call him at the end of the Summer or if things would blossom from there but he was hopeful. Blaine had kissed him once and tried a second time. He'd definitely been flirting with Kurt the last two hours and they were both single now.

This universe might not be so bad after all.