chapter19

Derek woke up in the morning and frowned at the sound of the fire alarm. The man quickly jumped out of bed and out his bedroom door. Derek ran straight into the kitchen.

"Spencer? Whats going on?"

Spencer coughed a little and used his hand to blow away smoke. "Great. The first time I want to surprise you with breakfast, Clooney has to steal the bacon, making me chase him all over the house until he finally dropped it when the alarm went off because the pancakes burned." Spencer coughed once more and used his hand to blow the smell of burned food away.

Derek chuckled. "Spencer I told you, you don't have to do that anymore. I can make breakfast."

Spencer sighed. "So can I. I'm good at it, and I wanted to do it at least once." Then Spencer glared down at the dog who stepped out from behind Derek. "Thanks alot Clooney."

Derek chuckled still. "Well, don't worry about it. We can go out for breakfast. Go get ready."

Spencer walked passed Derek. He sighed. "I'll never meet anyone who'll enjoy what I make."

Derek grabbed his hand. "Hold on, baby boy. What is that suppose to mean?"

Spencer shook his head. "Nothing." He breathed. He tried turned again pulling away, but Derek turned him back.

"What is this about?" The darker man asked.

Spencer shook his head. "Nothing. Dont worry about it."

Derek stared for a moment, before he pulled Spencer with him towards the kitchen table. The older man sat on a chair then pulled Spencer onto his lap.

The boy didn't protest.

"Whats going on?" Derek asked low.

Spencer just stared.

Derek brought his hand to Spencers chin. "Come on. Tell me."

Spencer opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Come on. I know somethings on your mind."

Spencer gulped. He could tell Derek. He could. The man wouldn't mind. What if he does? What if he doesn't like hearing complaints, just like his master? And he gets mad? And starts beating him? Then says he doesn't love him anymore?

But then...

Spencer always spoke to Derek about these things. About whats bothering him, and Derek never minded before.

Spencer forced a smile that quickly faded. "You know my old master?"

Derek nodded.

Spencer gulped again. "Well, I really want you to taste my cooking. Because... well, everthing I ever cooked, whatever I made wasn't good enough."

Dereks brows narrowed and he nodded. "He didn't apreciate you."

Spencer nodded back. "It was always too well done. Too under cooked. Not what he wanted. Not hot enough. Too hot. Too hot! Too hot! Get that shit away from me!"

"Ok! Ok! Spencer!" Derek grabbed onto the boys hands that had been hitting the table over and over.

Spencer stared at Derek, his chest rising and falling quickly. He blinked as he hadn't noticed what he was doing.

Then Derek began chuckling.

Spencer stared confused.

"Baby boy? Do you know what just happened?" Derek laughed. When Spencer still just stared confused still, Derek smiled and brought his hand to the boys cheek. "Spencer, you just showed your anger. Your emotions and feelings."

Spencers mouth opened and closed. When nothing came out, he looked down. "I'm sorry." He said low, but Derek only laughed more.

"No. No. Spencer, it's a good thing."

The boys head turned back up to Dereks. "It is?"

Derek nodded. "Yes! You've been living with an asshole."

"You're not an asshole, Derek."

The man laughed still. "No. I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about your 'so called' master. Baby, you lived with a man who didn't let you feel anything. No happiness. No anger. No sadness, because even when he caused it, he'd still punish you for crying. Spencer, it's good you feel angry instead of just sad for what he did." Dereks voice got calm. "Being angry is a healthy emotion."

"It is?"
Derek nodded. "I'm happy you're mad. It proves he hasn't taken away your humanity."

Spencer smiled. "I guess I wouldn't know what my anger felt like if I never had it."

"Right." Derek smiled again. "How did it feel?"

Spencer smiled wide. "Wonderful."

Derek smiled showing white teeth. "Yeah?"

Spencer sucked in his lips and nodded. "I can breathe better."

"Yeah?"

Spencer nodded again.

Derek nodded. "Thats good." He sent a kiss to Spencers nose.

Spencer wrapped his arms around Dereks neck and hugged tight. "Thank you." He whispered. " Not bothering to try to stop the tears of happiness from falling.

Derek rubbed Spencers back for a few moments before realizing something. "And Spencer? Spence?"

"Hm?"

"The fish."

Spencer pulled back. "What?" He asked confused.

Derek smiled. "A few days after you moved in. The first time I caught you singing in the tub, you made me baked fish. Smash potatoes with pieces of mushrooms and cheese."

Spencer stared for a moment in awe before a smile came. "You remember that?"

Derek nodded. "It was delicious."

"Really? You trully liked it?"

"Loved it."

"You're not lieing?"

Derek shook his head. "I wouldn't lie." Then he frowned. "well, I would if I didn't want to hurt you."

Spencer frowned now. "Then how do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Because."

"Because?"

Derek smiled. "I don't lie to the ones I love."

Spencer gave something that sound like a laugh to Derek, but the man found he was mistaken when Spencer began to sob. Derek shook his head. "No. don't do that. You were so happy just now. Why are you crying?" He wiped one of Spencers tears with his thumb.

Now Spencer laughed. He shook his head. "I'm still happy. These are tears of happiness."

Derek chuckled again. "My baby boy has held his emotions so long, they're all coming out at once."

Spencer laughed more as he wrapped his arms around the man again.

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