Blaine

10 November 2010

Kurt's hand is warm in mine as we run down the hall together. I don't know anything about him but his name and the fact that he doesn't belong here. I don't even know if he's gay but I'd eat my tie if he isn't because he beeps so loud the entire school had to have noticed him. But that isn't why I suggested the 'shortcut' I'm currently dragging him through. It isn't of course - in fact, I'm taking him the longest way possible to get to the senior commons and I'm probably going to be late. Why? It was just an impulse but there was something about his eyes and the nervous half smile that he gave me that made me do it.

"Here we are- the senior commons as promised. I told you it was a shortcut. I hope you enjoy the performance," I say with a cocky assurance that comes of knowing where my true talent lies. I'm not very good at romance or relationships but I know I'm good at performing. I open the doors for him and look back to see him glancing around the room nervously.

"Oh, I stick out like a sore thumb."

Of course, he does. Everyone else is in uniform, while he is wearing...I reach out and touch his lapel to feel of the material before it registers that the gesture is entirely too intimate.

"Next time, don't forget your jacket, new kid," I say trying to cover the awkwardness. But I compound my mistake by touching him again as I say, "You'll fit right in." I'd best just get away and start singing before he thinks I'm some kind of perve. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

Luckily, I know Teenage Dream so well that I can sing it in my sleep. As I sing, I'm encouraged by the way the song makes him first smile then blush. Who is this boy? He's definitely not a new student. A student would have a uniform even on his first day, and the rumors would already have made the rounds.

After we're done singing, Wes grabs me and drags me to a corner with Thad.

"Do you know who that is?" he hisses.

"Kurt. He said he was new."

"That's Kurt Hummel. Of New Directions," Wes declares expectantly. He obviously thinks that I know what he's talking about.

Thad rolls his eyes and gives an exasperated snort at my puzzlement.

"Didn't you watch any of the videos we sent you?"

"No," I admit abashedly. "Sorry, so you're saying he's competition?"

"Yes," says Wes. "We're facing New Directions and The Hipsters this year. If you'd watched the videos that I sent you, you'd know that Kurt Hummel is their countertenor."

"What I don't understand," interrupted Thad, "is why he's here. If they want to check us out, why not issue an invitation? Or just watch our videos on our public website? Why would they send a spy?"

"Let's find out," suggested Wes. "We'll invite him to coffee."

We catch Kurt just he seems to be trying to make a hasty exit and suggest coffee. I make note of his order - a nonfat mocha latte - for future reference. I'm just about to suggest a table when Flint...

Blaine-2

As I'm checking out Kurt's stunning outfit, complete with scarf that I'm certain he made himself, I realize that I've neglected to introduce my fellow Warblers. Kurt has an expression that seems to be a mixture of suspicion and dread as I make the introductions. He jokes about our intentions to beat him up but I'm not entirely sure that he's joking.

When Kurt asks if Dalton was a gay school, everything clicks into place, and I understand why he came on this spying mission. I have to send Wes and David away because, all flirting aside, it's clear that Kurt needs someone to talk to. I know what it's like to be at a school where it isn't OK to be gay. Where being yourself puts you at risk of bodily harm every day. We talk for what seems like hours, and I offer him my contact information, not just because he is a sexy boy, but because he needs a friend. I know I can be self-absorbed at times, even clueless, but I think I can help him.

11 November 2010

I text Kurt several times, hoping that he finds it encouraging instead of creepy. After all, he gave me his contact info and he wouldn't have done that if he didn't want to hear from me.

It's early afternoon and I'm just about to head to the library when Trent approaches me.

"Blaine, I need a favor. Can you give me a ride to the mall? I really have to go tonight and you're my only hope."

"Sure, Trent, I was just about to head up and study, but you know I can always use a new pair of socks. If we can stop by the Gap, it's a deal."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Thad startles me. I didn't see him sneak up on us. He does that.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Shouldn't you use your free time to rehearse the new song? I can take Trent to the mall."

"My performance today was perfect," I insist. "Well, almost," I admit.

"I swam across an empty land? Really, Blaine? I'd hardly call that perfect."

OK, so I mixed up the lyrics a little. Is that was really matters? Who pays attention to...

Blaine-3

"You're the best Blaine. Can we leave now? I'll buy you dinner and we'll still be back by curfew."

"Sure, Trent, let's go."

As I'm picking out some new socks at the Gap, I notice a cute blond working there. His name tag says "Jeremiah" and apparently he is the assistant manager here. Thank-you, Trent! I flirt shamelessly with him as we check out but he plays it cool. Have I mentioned that I like older taller men? Well, I do and he must be at least eighteen or nineteen to be an assistant manager. I've only had one boyfriend and that didn't work out so well. He was a senior at Dalton last year and when he left for college, it was so long and thanks for the blow jobs, Blaine. Still, I'm optimistic when it comes to love. I mean,you've got to blow some frogs before you find your prince, right?

"Blaine, you don't even know that guy is gay," Trent admonishes me as we head to the food court.

"Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? Of course, he is. I can tell."

"Like the barista at Starbucks who turned out to be married?"

"I still maintain that he's just in the closet."

"And that..."

"Just stop," I interrupt him before he go go through the entire litany of poorly thought out crushes I've had. After all, I was just flirting. Can't a guy randomly flirt with someone without it meaning anything?

We pick up dinner at the food court, and I check for texts from Kurt. Nothing. I hope I didn't spook him with my lame advice. The truth is that I just ran away from the bullies at my old school, and I have no idea what I would have done if my father hadn't been in favor of private school.

"Expecting someone to call you?" Trent teases.

"It's not like that," I snap a little defensively. "That boy who came to Dalton yesterday - Kurt - he just needs...well, he's having a hard time and I thought...I'm just trying to help. OK?"

"OK, OK, no need to explain. Wait, do you mean Kurt Hummel? I heard something about a spy showing up yesterday but are you saying it was Kurt as in Kurt Hummel from McKinley?"

"That's right. Do you know him? I'd forgotten that you transferred from there."

"Only sort of. I know of him and we were in a few of the same classes, but I don't think he even knows my name."

"What is it like there? Is it really as bad as he says?"

"Worse. I don't know what he told you, but it was really bad. That's why my parents moved me to Dalton."

"Oh god, have I bit off more than I can chew? I have no idea how to be a mentor. I'm just a boy trying to figure out who I am myself."

"Is that really what you're trying to be? You've been checking for texts from him since we left school. Are you sure you aren't interested in more?"

"What if I am? He's really adorable. Not my usual type but he seems smart, funny, and sexy as hell."

"Don't play around with him, Blaine. If he's going through what I think he is, then he really needs a friend. Not everyone is as..." Trent pauses as if searching for an appropriate euphemism. "romantically inclined as you are," he finally finishes though I'm pretty sure that isn't what he means. Just because I have a healthy interest in sex doesn't make me a slut. In fact, I've only had one boyfriend. There was almost something with Thad, but I realized before it was too late that it was a bad idea. And I did crush on Jeff pretty hard despite the fact that he's hopelessly in love with his boyfriend, Nick. But nothing ever actually happened. What's wrong for searching for love? Isn't that what being young is about?

Then I see him...Jeremiah. Should I go talk to him? Trent is droning on and on about something, but I tune him out as I weigh my options. What's the worst that can happen? I don't know him at all if he completely shoots me down, then so what?

"Excuse me, Trent, I need to go talk to someone." I don't look back to see what Trent thinks. I head toward the Jamba Juice where Jeremiah is getting some kind of drink. I get in line as if I didn't come over just to talk to him.

"Oh hey, aren't you the manager at the Gap?" I ask casually as we pass one another. "You sold me some socks, remember?" Lame, stupid, oh my god, that was the stupidest pick up line ever!

He smiles and chuckles a little before nodding and saying, "Oh, I remember alright. Maybe you should try toning it down, kid," he advices in a low tone. "Not everyone is cool about that sort of thing in Ohio."

"Being friendly?" I ask innocently.

That gets another smile out of him.

"Just be more careful. What if I'd been offended? You can't just flirt with strangers. It isn't safe, kid." That word again. Kid. He isn't that much older than I am.

"Do you want to have coffee with me sometime?" In for a penny in for a pound, I say.

He hesitates then says, "Sure. Why not." Apparently my elation is a little too obvious. "Just coffee," he clarifies. I try to get his number, but he doesn't want to give it to me. "Just come by at about this time any Tuesday or Thursday. We can talk."

Trent and I make it back to the dorm just in time for curfew. I drop Trent off at the dorm and head home. I'm getting ready for bed when Kurt calls. Apparently, my advice backfired and he's in more trouble than I realized. This Karofsky jock is a piece of work and is a closet case with the hots for Kurt. We make plans for me to meet him a McKinley and have a talk. I'm going to have to skip some classes, but I owe him. It was my stupidly bad advice that made things worse, so I need to try to fix things. Besides, if he's gay too maybe he just needs someone to talk to.

12 November 2010

I sit with Kurt for hours in the Lima Bean discussing the things we have in common. It's amazing, we've only known each other a few days, and yet I feel so connected already. It seems to mitigate the disastrous attempt at an intervention with the closeted jock. Strangely, Kurt doesn't seem to blame me at all. Some mentor I am! We were nearly beaten up when Kurt went all fierce gay BAMF on the guy's ass and rescued me. When I met him, he seemed so small and delicate - beautiful in an ethereal way. I expected him to be a sophomore (I would have guessed him to be a freshman except that he drove to Dalton) but he's a junior and a few months older than I am, in contrast to his innocence and naiveté. His mix of world-weary arrogance and wide-eyed optimism makes him interesting to say the least.

I stopped flirting with him the minute I found out that his first kiss was an assault from that sweaty jock. I feel like such a perve now that I realize how inexperienced Kurt is. He may be older but somehow it doesn't feel that way. It feels wrong to hit on him now that we're becoming friends.

I invite him to hang out with me and some of my friends. We're going to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show and the invitation is already out of my mouth before it occurs to me that it might be too risqué for him. Kurt is game though and we make plans to meet up.

18 November 2010

It's a week after I met him when I meet with Jeremiah for our coffee non-date. I thought coming by sooner would make me seem too eager. I spend most of the time just listening to him tell me about himself. He's nineteen and saving for college.

"I just thought I would be working there for the summer, you know? I didn't mean for it to be a career, but here I am still stocking socks and folding sweaters at the Gap. I had plans for myself but...Oh god listen to me. I'm sorry kid, I shouldn't be dumping all this on you."

"That's OK," I assure him. "And for the one hundredth time, I'm not a kid. I'm sixteen. That's totally legal in Ohio if you know what I mean."

"Not gonna happen. I'm not some pedophile. That isn't why I agreed to meet with you. I know what it's like to be gay in high school, so I just thought I could be a friend."

"Youmean way back when you were in high school...six months ago?"

"Touche," he laughs.

01 December 2010

Kurt and I have become best friends and even better, he's finally talked his father into letting him attend Dalton.

Kurt sings Rose's Turn for his audition. I'm impressed, as are all the Warblers. The council isn't going to give him a solo, of course. No one ever gets a solo on the first audition, and worse, Kurt has only been a Warbler for all of three days. It's a shame really because he is amazing. Afterwards, I realize that I've failed as a mentor, again. I should have warned him that the audition was a privilege and not to be taken literally as a chance at a solo for sectionals.

"What does it take, Blaine? I sang my heart out, and I thought I impressed them."

"Kurt, just...try to fit in," I explain. I don't know what to say to him to make it clear. "The Warblers are...well it's best not to stand out. Do you understand? We all wear uniforms for a reason."

"To crush our little souls?" he jokes.

"No," I sigh and pat him on the shoulder. "No, it's so we all belong. And you don't yet but you will. Just give it time and you'll get the hang of it."

He gives me a tight nervous smile, and I wonder where the feisty Kurt has gone. He'll adjust; I know he will.

January 2011

Things with Jeremiah move glacially, but he can't resist my charm forever. It's mid January before he reluctantly agrees to a real date. I'm so excited that I want to tell Kurt but Jeremiah is still paranoid about our relationship and insists on utter secrecy.

It is so hard not to tell Kurt everything. I keep mum though because Jeremiah is the best thing that's every happened to me and I can't afford to spoil it. He's sweet and kind and unlike my first boyfriend, he doesn't seem to want me just for my awesome oral skills. In fact, he doesn't even let me kiss him.

12 February 2011

I sit with my best friend, Kurt, outside of the Gap waiting for my boyfriend to get off from work. Boyfriend...wow. Are we? I guess, I'll find out soon enough. We've only gone out a few times other than the coffee non-dates he insisted on at first. However, it's been nearly four months since that first talk, and I think he's gotten past seeing me as a kid. At least, he finally let me touch him on our last date so that has to mean something.

"What do you think Kurt? Was it too much? Oh god, it was, wasn't it?" I ask nervously. I'd kept my relationship secret from Kurt. I hadn't wanted to but Jeremiah is so paranoid about being seen as a cradle robber that he didn't want anyone to know. Not even my best friend.

Kurt just gives me a noncommittal look that I don't know how to interpret. He's been acting strange ever since I announced the Gap Attack to the Warblers. I hope he forgives me for having a secret boyfriend.

When I see Jeremiah, I forget all my fears and run to him.

"Hey, you," I say shyly.

"You know I was pretty mad when you showed up with all the Warblers and started singing. I thought no one at work knew I was gay. I was sure you were going to get me fired."

"I'm sorry," I mumble and look down. I've blown it and I know it.

"No, don't be," he says unexpectedly. He hooks his fingers under my chin and lifts my eyes back to his.

"It turns out everyone knew, and my boss loved it. It was perfect. You're perfect." He leans in and kisses me and it's...