„Jade?" the small redhead gasped, shocked to see the Goth standing in front of her. Jade looked at her best friend. Not two days ago Cat would have charged and hugged the life out of her. Now, she was only standing there. Her expression was a mixture of surprise and conflict. Jade saw that Cat didn't know what to say. What to do. And she couldn't blame her.
"What are you doing here?" Cat finally found her voice.
"I got the week off and decided to come home. I told you I'll come see you immediately when I get home." Jade said with a small smile, hoping that yesterday's events would be forgiven. Forgoten. Never mentioned again.
"You said a lot of things." Cat said weakly as she closed the door behind her. Jade's expression fell. It wouldn't be that easy. It never was.
"I want to talk to you. Can we go for a walk?" Jade asked, praying that she wouldn't get rejected.
"I don't know… I…"
"Cat." Jade interrupted her. "Please." She begged. Cat sighed and nodded. The two began walking just anywhere, uncomfortable silence following them everywhere for a while.
"What did you want to talk about?" Cat asked suddenly, admitting to herself that the answer was absolutely obvious.
"About what I did yesterday. I'm sorry. I didn't want to yell at you." Jade honestly apologized, turning her look towards the girl walking next to her. Cat only stared in front of her. She didn't want to meet Jade's eyes.
"But you did." Cat simply said.
"I know. And I've felt miserable since then. I tried to call you immediately after you hung up, but your phone…"
"I don't know what I have done to you to make you always act that way towards me." Cat said all of sudden, taking the Goth by surprise.
"What do you mean?" Jade asked, feeling something tighten in her chest.
"You are always so mean to me. This isn't the first time you've done something like this." Cat explained.
"Cat, you know how I am. That's just… It's my defense mechanism or something like that. I threat everyone that way." She explained, but it sounded more as a lame excuse to her. "When you called yesterday, I was under so much stress. That day nothing went right. I've spent 9 hours in the studio watching everything fail again and again. Then I was told that it would throw us immensely behind schedule. I was scared that all the three months of work would be for nothing. That I left you guys for nothing. It was too much for me. Please understand." Jade pleaded. Cat didn't respond for a while. They stood there, Cat looking at the ground while Jade looked at her, trying to read anything off her expression.
"And if I forgive you now. Again. What then? Am I supposed to wait until you snap at me again for any reason?" Cat asked, looking Jade right in the eyes for the first time.
"Cat, I can't promise you that it won't happen again. I know I am hard to deal with. And I know that I haven't always treated you the way you deserve. But you mean so much to me. If you didn't, I wouldn't be here. The only reason I actually came back was to talk to you. To apologize. I can't explain to you how miserable I felt every time I realized that I hurt you. This morning, at work, I was just sitting there, not caring what was happening in front of me. I didn't even care enough to say cut when necessary. I was thinking about you the whole time. I was hoping that you were okay. That Tori talked to you and made sure you didn't feel bad. That she told you that I am sorry."
"She told me all that. She told me how you called her. She told me exactly what you had told her. She tried to defend you and explain why you acted that way. She told me not to take it personally. But I did. And I do take it personally Jade. You know why? Because you are like a sister to me! And I always did everything I could to help you when something happened. Whenever you came crying to my house because you had an argument with Beck or with your dad, I listened to you. I let you stay at my place as long as you wanted. I covered for you when you did something stupid. I even encouraged you to go to Florida. To take your chance. And then, after you didn't have the time or whatever to call me for two weeks, I called you. I wanted to talk to you. To hear your voice. To see how you are. And what did I get for everything I did? A simple "I don't have time for your stupid advices." from you." Cat said, tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. Jade began to cry herself. This was the first time Cat had ever said those things to her.
"Cat, I'm sorry. I had no idea that…"
"That it mattered so much to me. I get it. You didn't think it was a big deal. Nobody ever thinks that. Have you ever thought how I felt during all this? You know that I don't have many friends. For so long, you were my only friend. Then I met Andre and Robbie. And when I met Beck, I introduced him to you. You became a couple. And finally Tori came. The five of you mean the world to me. But you were always my best friend trough all this. You were the one I completely trusted. I let my guard down against you. You know how much it hurts me when people are mean to me. And you cannot imagine how much it hurts me when one of you is mean to me. And for some reason, you are the one who hurt me the most. Why? What have I ever done to you?" Cat asked, not even trying to prevent herself from crying. Jade looked at her. Her make up was a mess from the tears. Her throat was sore from the crying.
"Nothing. You have never done anything bad to me. You have always been there for me. I know that. And I appreciate it. I know I don't show it as much as I should, but to me, you are the sister I never had. You were always the rock who kept the tides from knocking me down. And I love you for that. I wish I hadn't done any of the things I did to hurt you. But I did do them, and I can't change that. I only hope you can forgive me, that you still consider me to be your friend. Your sister. You've been trough hell with me, and when the time comes, I am ready to jump into hell for you. I hope you can give me another chance." Jade said as she stepped towards Cat and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. She placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and looked her in the eyes again.
"If you need time to think, I understand. I also understand if you don't want me in your life anymore. But I beg you. Beg. To give me another chance. I love you." She said trough her tears, not caring that she was openly weeping by now. "I'll get you home." Jade said as she took Cat's hand. They walked towards her house, not saying another word. When they finally arrived at Cat's house, Jade turned one more time towards Cat.
"I'll be here until the end of the week. If you want to talk to me, give me a call. No matter when. And thank you for everything." Jade honestly said as she gave Cat a quick hug, her hopes rising when Cat hugged her back this time.
"Kaykay." Cat weakly said giving Jade a small smile. That was everything Jade wanted now. She knew that Cat would at least think about it now. There was still hope that Cat would forgive her. And if she needed time, Jade would wait; as long as she has to.
Jade turned around and walked away, hearing Cat open the door and close it behind her. She put her hands in her pocket and began to walk towards Beck's RV. It was quite a walk, but she needed it now. She was happy Cat told her all this. She hadn't been oblivious to them, but she never gave them too much attention either. She was glad that she finally told Cat something she should have done years ago. That she finally told Cat how much she appreciated her. How grateful she was for everything. And she wouldn't keep it only with words this time. She would change her behavior towards her. She would take to heart what Cat told her. But right now, she only hoped she would get the chance to do so.
After a hour of walking, she finally stood in front of Beck's RV. She knocked on the door and stepped back. When he opened, she chuckled at the confusion on his face.
"Hey. Why didn't you call me to pick you up?" he asked, letting her inside.
"I needed the walk. I talked to Cat." She said as she sat down on the bed.
"How did it go?" Beck asked sitting next to her. He saw the tearstains.
"We simply said what had been on each of our minds for quite a while now I guess." Jade said as she lied down. Beck did so himself and put his arms around her, pulling her closer. She placed her head on his shoulder and began telling him what she and Cat talked about. He felt the tears on his shoulder. He didn't interrupt her.
"Now, I only can hope that she will give me another chance." Jade finished. Beck leaned in and gave her a soft kiss.
"She will. There is no Jade without Cat, and vice versa. Just give it time." He said as they lied back down. They fell asleep that way, in each other's arms after three and half months. Beck was enjoying every second of it, and would do so until the end of the week. Jade did too, but she also though about the others. She would have to pay a few people a visit tomorrow. But right now, she only wanted to stay in Beck's arms. She hoped that everything would be fine. Just this one time.