A/N.: this is my first attempt at a one-shot like this; a one-shot that covers such a long span of time, but bear with me.
This is for BSheep, for winning the challenge in chapter 7 of ISL.
"I was thinking of something along the lines of Rachel running into Quinn further down the road in life. More specifically perhaps, she runs into Beth which inevitably leads her to Quinn."
So this is what I came up with. Enjoy and let me know what y'all think!
A/N2: wrote this over-night, literally. So, like, any mistakes- all mine!
-TWiM
Bitter Heart - One-shot
So she recognizes her face but she doesn't know where from. If she squints hard enough, the girl remindes her of... Oh my god, who the hell does she remind her off?
That nose and eyes, and those lips- they all look very familiar. They look like a face she believes to have looked at often when she was younger. Probably fifteen years ago or so. That's how old this girl looks anyway.
The girl is sitting in one of her workshops in New York. When she has time, she usually makes an appearance for workshops her Broadway play puts on for audiences like high school students and senior citizens.
And it's the smile too. That smile looks heartwarming and it pulls at her memory, because even though she feels like she's seen it before, it feels like she didn't see it much. She didn't see it much but when she did, it lit up her world. The young girl with the clear as day hazel eyes smiles at the friend beside her and laughs at something she said. Her head throws back with the force of her laughter, and the girl's mouth opens and... My god, Rachel has only met one other person who laughed like that. She used to throw her head back and open her mouth the size of the ocean and still be able to not make a sound when she did that. She particularly remembers how the girl would bring both hands together and then take them to her chest when she was excited about something.
Quinn Fuckin' Fabray. Her high school bully and fellow glee club member. Quinn Fuckin' Fabray; head bitch in charge. The girl who fought her for Finn Hudson. The only girl who could push Rachel's buttons for reasons Rachel only figured out after the first semester of college. Quinn Fuckin' Fabray. The Celibacy club president who got knocked up by Finn's best friend and still managed to survive high school.
This girl sitting in front of her is that baby. This is Beth. There is not an ounce of a doubt in Rachel's mind.
Toward the end of their high school careers - Senior year, Rachel remembers - Quinn began to want to develop a friendship. She apologized for her behavior and even thanked Rachel numerous times for all she had done for her. Right before graduation day, Quinn had sought her out to give her a gift: a metro card for them to visit each other while in college, with Rachel in New York and Quinn in New Haven. They were supposed to keep in touch. And they did, for a while, but then life got a hold of them.
Rachel doubts that Beth even knows who she is. With everything Rachel went through with Beth's adoptive mom - Rachel's own biological mother - she doesn't expect her to have kept Beth informed of who she is.
Her life is a mess.
Her biological mother is the adoptive mom of the baby her former-bully-turned-friend-turned-memory, Quinn Fabray, and ex-boyfriend-fellow-Jew, Noah Puckerman, had together.
Now, she hasn't spoken to any of those people in the past fifteen years, so she really has no idea how things are between any of them, but she just knows Beth has no idea who she is.
She exhales and tries to focus on something other than... The way this baby grew up. She looks healthy and happy and even now, fifteen years later with Rachel almost turning 31, she is a little jealous of Beth Corcoran.
She rolls her eyes, and puffs out the stress through short bursts of air and then finishes the workshop ten minutes early. She needs a cigarette. Or a drink. Or something. But she doesn't smoke, or drink, or... Something, so she just retreats backstage and begins pacing.
Beth. Beth Corcoran is here.
Beth might not know who she is, but Shelby knows. Rachel Berry is a famous name now, and of course Shelby knows who she is. So why would she do something as malicious as this and send her over here? Especially after fifteen fucking years.
Her hands are on her waist and she's trying not to have a panick attack by breathing in deeply, forcing the harsh air into her lungs. It hurts. Someone passes by her and sends her a wave, completely oblivious to her freak out. She ignores the idiot.
"Rachel Berry?"
And the voice.
Unmistakably Quinn. Rachel is expecting to turn toward the husky alto and see Quinn, but when she does, Quinn isn't there.
"Yes?" She fixes the girl with a stare.
"I know you know who I am," the girl says, with confidence and a raised chin, not backing down from Rachel's defensive body language. Rachel's arms have crossed over her chest and her eyes narrowed.
This girl is definitely Quinn's daughter. And she also has some Corcoran in her. She is a mix of Fabray, Corcoran, and Puckerman. She has the Fabray attitude, the Corcoran confidence, and the Puckerman bravery. She is unafraid.
"I do," Rachel admits, but she doesn't know why Beth is there. Or why she's talking to her.
"So we're sisters!" Beth blurts out. Her smile, radiant like her mother's, briefly warms Rachel's chest. Just like Quinn was able to when she actually smiled at Rachel. But it's brief; it's gone as fast as it happens.
"No," Rachel denies. "We're not. Your mom just happens to be my biological mother."
"Please. Come over for my sixteenth birthday party in March. Mom said that I could have whatever I wanted for my Sweet Sixteen and this is what i want."
"Why do you want me there? Your mom hates me." Rachel stares at Beth with all the disdain she can gather but Beth just rolls her eyes with a playful grin and an expression that says, 'it's obvious.'
"Because you're family. And I get to get to know you, if you want. Those were mom's words. And no, she doesn't hate you; she thinks you hate her. She thinks you haven't forgiven her for trying the daughter thing with someone else's daughter instead of you."
Rachel hears what she's saying but doesn't want to believe it. "Well, why now?"
"Because, Rachel - look, I don't know. Maybe because she wants my birthday party to be special? I've been wanting to really meet you for years now. Ever since I understood I was your... Half-adoptive-sister?"
Rachel breathes uneasily. She feels bile coming up, and so she avoids looking at this carbon copy of Quinn, with a few strokes of Puck. Like the ears and her eyebrows. Or the way she wiggles them, just like Puck did, as she's waiting for a response.
"I'll think about it, okay, Beth?"
"That's all mom said I could ask for," Beth shrugs. "But I know I'll see you then, because I've heard a lot about you and I know you're a caring person, Rachel."
After that, all Rachel can manage is muttering a, "thanks for coming out," and walking away.
She throws up on her shoes, when she's sure she's alone.
March arrives sooner than she hoped. In the mail, an invitation to Beth's Sweet Sixteen. She stares at it with cold eyes, trying not to care, but not being able to put it through the shredder like she wants to. She wonders how Beth knew her address, but Shelby probably always had it.
She hears steps behind her on the cement floor of their loft before being hugged around her waist. Safe - now she feels safe. "Morning, baby." She purrs.
"Morning, gorgeous. Why are you up and already stressing?" She feels a peck on her neck, and shivers at the contact. Small hands massage her shoulders, trying to relax her.
"Beth sent the invitation."
"Oh." Santana's hands fall from her and she already misses them. Her girlfriend walks around the island and opens the refrigerator, sticking her head inside. "Are you going?"
Rachel's brows furrow. "S."
"Did we run out of orange juice?"
"S, please. Look at me."
Santana sighs and stays still, curved into the cold machine for a good five seconds before standing and turning to face Rachel.
"Hey," Rachel smiles sofly and beckons her.
Santana shakes her head, always stubborn, and refuses to come any closer. "I can't believe you're considering going."
"I'm not," Rachel lies.
"Rach. I know you, okay? Don't lie to me." The Latina with raven-colored hair, and the smoothest lips Rachel has ever tasted, raises her eyebrows at Rachel. "Okay?"
"I'm sorry," Rachel apologizes. "I just- I feel like I have to go if I want closure."
"Rachel," Santana tries again. "You're only going to end up getting hurt again."
Rachel's shoulders fall, and so do her eyes. Her bangs cover them from Santana, and her arms cross over her chest.
"I just don't want to see you getting hurt. You know that when it comes to Fabrays and Corcorans, you always get the short end of the stick. And this girl is a Fabray-Corcoran mixture." Santana approaches carefully. Wrapping her arms around Rachel again, Santana tightens them until she feels her girlfriend relax.
Rachel is silent for a long time, considering what could possibly go wrong if she tried to get to know Beth.
"Want me to go with you?" Santana asks. She knows Rachel will go. Rachel is too forgiving; too idealistic; too hopeful. Prone for getting hurt easily.
Rachel barely shakes her head but sinks back further into Santana's arms. "No." She mumbles, "this is something I have to do by myself."
The town, she notices, stayed pretty much the same in her absence. She hasn't been back here since 2014 when her parents followed her out to New York. They lived a few hours outside of the city, and Rachel loved them even more for the move.
It's still plain and boring and Rachel bets it still wouldn't recognize talent if it slapped it in the face. Which, well, she is talent. One of the most famous names in Broadway (and she is also being requested in Hollywood now) and nobody seems to have noticed her yet.
With an air of indifference, she steps into the car her assistant rented for her and puts on her sunglasses. "I need to go to this address, please," she asks the driver, handing him the invitation Beth sent her. The man gives a curt nod after looking at it and starts driving.
She takes out her phone and calls Santana.
"Was the flight okay?" Santana asks as soon as the call is connected.
Rachel sighs, "yes. It was quick and painless. I'm driving over there now."
"Please, Rachel, keep me updated." Santana begs. "And if you... Well, you know. If you need anything, call me and I'll be there on the next plane."
Rachel appreciates Santana so much. She has been such an incredible girlfriend to her, always being there when she needs her. She had always known Santana was loyal in high school. She would make fun of her glee friends, but when it came down to it, Santana would be the first to protect them from others. They were family, and Santana protects family.
Rachel wasn't expecting to fall in love with Santana when the two re-kindled a friendship at the end of last year. They'll be living together for three months now and dating for nine. "I know. Thank you. I love you."
Santana seems to audibly relax by exhaling loudly, "I love you. Come back to me soon." Adult Santana learned that it's okay to let people know they love them. Rachel was surprised by how much Santana had changed when she showed up into her life again.
The two of them had set out to New York after high school. Rachel got accepted to NYADA and Santana's mom decided that it'd be okay for Santana to use her college savings to move to New York and follow her dreams of becoming an actress. The two were also forming a tentative friendship at the time, so it was obvious that Rachel and Santana started to rely on each other. New York was big and scary for both teenagers fresh out high school, and so the two of them quickly became best friends.
At the time, Quinn was always around too, visiting from New York. It turns out that sometime after their first semester in college, at an end of the semester party at one of Santana's friends' apartment, Quinn confessed to Rachel that she loved her. And then kissed her. Rachel was confused as hell, and completely thrown off by all the alcohol they had all partaken in.
After the confession, Quinn threw up and was out. Santana had witnessed the entire thing and after taking Quinn back to her place, she was the one who held Rachel as the brunette cried, trying to understand.
The blonde disappeared from their lives after that. Rachel has no idea what happened to Quinn, even though she tried so many times that second semester to contact Quinn. She did everything short of calling Quinn's mother, but Quinn was an expert at avoiding things. So Rachel moved on. It was hard, because she wanted to work things out with Quinn. Apparently, deep down in her heart, she had always loved Quinn, too, which explained so much that happened in high school between the two.
Santana stayed around for the time that it took Rachel to move on from the blonde. After that, Santana went in search of her own blonde. Britt graduated a year later and went off to California, and Santana went after her.
Rachel and Santana kept in touch. Santana, being the only person who knew about the Quinn thing, always cared for Rachel from afar. They would visit each other and send cards and gifts.
Rachel was Santana's maid of honor. She made the trip to Cali for their wedding. She somehow still hoped that Quinn would have been at the wedding. She hoped she got the invitation both Santana and Britt insisted in sending.
Then the years passed and Santana and Rachel started to talk less and less. Until Santana knocked on her door last year with tears on her eyes and a bag over her shoulder. "It's over. She fucked up, again. And it's the last time I let her just because 'she's Britt.'"
Their friendship rekindled and it blossomed into love.
Their history, especially with Quinn, is what worries Santana about this entire ordeal, Rachel is sure. She thinks that if Rachel bonds with Beth, she'll miss Quinn all over again. What is it that they say about old wounds?
And as much as Rachel loves Santana, it worries her, too. It's what caused her to vomit when she spoke to Beth for the first time; it's what causes her to wake up in the middle of the night, sweating; it's the reason why she hates herself; and finally, it's why she came.
Because 'she's Quinn.'
And she has the faint hope Quinn will be there.
The house is intimidating. It looms above her, two stories high. The brick is not red - it's a beautiful white color, and the windows are painted a deep orange. The front lawn is starting to turn green again.
Rachel can hear the music playing inside, and she can make out the shapes of bodies dancing. She doesn't know how many people pass by her and throw her curious glances as she just stands there. These people don't know or ring the bell, they just walk in, familiar with the place.
It's getting dark, the sun is starting to set on the horizon, but Rachel keeps her sunglasses on. For protection.
Finally, she takes steps toward the door. A teenage boy passes by her, shoulder checking her, and opens the door. Rachel clears her throat, and pulls her jacket closer to her body. The door stays ajar, so she walks inside and only then she takes off the sunglasses.
She was not expecting this many people at this party. She's not so much sure that she's offended because she thought she was special, or that no one recognized her yet.
Now that she's here, she wants to leave. Terribly so. So she'll find Beth, give her her gift, and get the hell out and back to New York.
All her ghosts be dammed.
Beth finds her before she finds Beth. The young birthday girl is sitting on a girlfriend's lap, and spots Rachel from the other side of the living room. She stands up with a grin on her face and practically runs toward her. Before she knows it, air is being expelled from her lungs and she's being crushed in a hug.
"I'm so glad you're here!" Beth squeals. "Come on, you have to meet everyone." The blond takes her by the hand, in a way that reminds Rachel of rare occasions in the past, and leads Rachel back toward her friends.
Beth points her neon green converse at the girl she was sitting on earlier, "that's my bestie, Lara." It's the girl from the workshop. Rachel raises her hand, in acknowledgement. "This," Beth points the shoe at the boy next to Lara, with curly dark brown hair, "is Ryder, her boyfriend. And finally, this is Gracie, my other bestie." Gracie mutters a 'hi,' and draws a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Nice to meet you all," Rachel says with her grown-up voice. "Beth," she tries to get her attention. Beth's currently pulling on the bright pink hem of her dress. She shoots up fast, giving Rachel her attention. "Is there somewhere you and I could go so I can give you your gift?" Rachel is feeling uncomfortable already, with the way these kids are looking at her. Judging her or whatever.
Suddenly, Ryder bursts. "CSI! That's where I've seen you before!" He points his finger at her.
Beth is quick, "maybe, Ryder. Now get off her," and takes Rachel's hand to lead her to the kitchen.
"Why did you do that?" Rachel asks.
"I don't want people at my party to suffocate you, so I haven't exactly told any of them who you are. Only a few of my friends, like Lara, who are also obsessed with Broadway, like me, know of you."
Rachel is impressed. Beth likes Broadway. Well, of course she does. She is Shelby's daughter afterall.
The kitchen is completely white with stainless steel appliances. She is enamored with it, because she's always loved baking.
"Where's your mom?" Rachel ventures. There are a few adults standing around in the kitchen, talking in circles. Shelby is not among them.
"Um," Beth thinks. "I think she's in her office talking to Noah and Quinn."
Rachel's heart stops.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Beth. I already gave you your gift, I should just go." Rachel whispers at the girl, holding onto her hand tightly and pulling her up the stairs.
"Mom would be super disappointed if you didn't say hi, as -I'm sure - would Quick."
"Who?" Rachel asks, scoffing.
"It's the nickname I came up for them. When I want to talk about both rather than just one of them, I say Quick. For Quinn and Puck. It's easier," she shrugs easily and stops in front of a door.
Most of the upstairs is vacant, except for the line of girls outside what Rachel assumes is the bathroom door. The light coming out from under the door they stand in front of - tall and a wood brown, different than any of the other doors - tells her that this is the only other place upstairs occupied. By Shelby, Puck, and Quinn.
This is going to be fucking awkward.
She thinks about sending Santana a text, but that would only freak her out.
Beth knocks.
Time freezes.
Rachel hears laughter, getting closer to the door. The closer it gets, the harder her heart starts to pump. She recognizes that laughter. It's the same laughter that Beth has.
And then the laughter opens the door. Standing, holding open the door, is Quinn. Gorgeous, broken Quinn.
Quinn hasn't even noticed her there, she doesn't think. Because Quinn is focused on Beth. "Hey, Beth," Quinn says affectionately.
Quinn is wearing a long skirt with a weird pattern, just like the ones she always wore back in high school. Her top is ruffled and green, and it makes her eyes pop - the golden flakes more pronounced than Rachel remembers them. Her hair is still short. Rachel sees a few lines that tell on Quinn, letting others know she's had her fair share of troubles for a 32 year old. Her face is thinner, more angular than high school or college. She looks grown up and matured. Her smile - her grin - is still as charming as ever.
After staring at Quinn for what feels like forever, she hears her name. "...Rachel made it."
That's when Quinn finally notices that Beth brought someone upstairs with her. Her smile falls, but it's too fast for Beth to notice because she's still going on and on about Rachel being there. Quinn's eyes linger on Rachel's, clearly asking her what she's doing there.
Rachel doesn't even try to say anything.
"...So I thought you all should say hi to each other to relive old times and get to know each other again!" She pulls Rachel forward to stand next to her and looks up at Quinn with hope. "Quinn, where are your manners?" She chastises her with a pout and crossing her arms.
"Oh," Quinn glances at Beth then back up at Rachel. "I'm sorry, baby." She apologizes to Beth and sighs, frowning a little as she says, "hello, uh, Rach."
"Quinn," Rachel says and nods slightly. She averts her eyes and then tries, "I think I'm going to go now, Beth. Enjoy your party."
She's turned halfway when she hears Quinn. "Rachel, don't go, eh? Beth is really excited you're here and you have to say hello to Puck." She stands her ground, wondering if Quinn's excited to see her, too.
"Please, Rachel." Beth says.
She sighs, runs a hand through her hair, and turns around. "Okay, Beth." She smiles softly at the shorter blonde. She has tried not to, but Beth managed to make her way in.
"Okay, great!" She claps once enthusiastically. "I'll leave you grown-ups to it and go back downstairs to entertain my friends. Quinn, bring them all down in about half an hour for the cake."
Quinn nods, "okay," and smiles, with pride brimming her eyes as she watches Beth run down the stairs.
Once Beth is out of sight, it gets awkward again.
"So," Quinn says, then bites on her lower lip and raises an eyebrow.
Rachel wants to avoid anything that has to do with their history. "She's so grown up. Last I saw her... well, before she came to my workshop in January - she was a baby."
Quinn smiles, even if this situation is strange. "Yeah, she's pretty independent. She runs this house. And she can get Puck and I to agree to about anything she asks."
"Ah," Rachel exhales. Her brows come closer together on her forehead and she taps her fingers on her thighs.
Quinn shifts in place. "Rachel, I know this is... Weird."
"Fucking weird," she mutters bitterly.
"I know you don't want to be here or be talking to me, but Beth has been really excited about you. She was over the top with just the possibility of you showing up. She already loves you, and you've met three times, and the first doesn't count because she wasn't even 24 hours old."
Rachel's chest is starting to constrict. Tears are pooling, but hell is she's going to cry in front of Quinn ever again. She balls her fists and wills them not to fall.
"I... Didn't think you'd show," Quinn admits. "But I should've known better. You're you." She smiles, softly. Carefully. "Puck and I agreed that it'd be best if Beth didn't tell you that we stayed in contact with her so you'd have more chances in showing up."
Rachel crosses her arms. She puffs some air up at her bangs. She's hot. She's suffocating.
Quinn chuckles, "she can be really persistant and she'll persuade you, you know?" Rachel realized that. "It took her years to convince Shelby. It took her months to convince me."
"I'm surprised she convinced you at all. You disappeared from my life," Rachel throws at her angrily. The bitterness she's been fostering toward Quinn all this time, showing.
"Rachel," Quinn says with that tone of voice that she usually reserves for warning not to go there.
Rachel stares. Quinn stares back.
"I should go," Rachel tries again.
"You can leave," Quinn says and motions toward the stairs. "But Beth will be fucking heartbroken. And then I'll really never want to see you again. I can deal with you breaking my heart, just not hers." It's Quinn's turn to cross her arms.
Rachel explodes, "I didn't break your heart! What are you talking about?"
The girls in line for the bathroom all quiet down and stare at the unfolding scene.
"Rachel," Quinn hisses and nods that way. Rachel looks and shuts up.
"What's going on out here? Quinn, you've been gone for like, ten minutes. Shelby and I -" Puck appears from behind the door, and sees Rachel. Quinn looks down and away. "Rachel!" He shouts and steps forward. He's about to hug her when he senses the tension. He stops and analyzes it and then goes for it anyway.
She's picked up easily by his strong arms. His cologne smells really good, actually. Nothing cheap like he used to wear back in high school. He is wearing jeans and a nice, stripped shirt, with a black tie hanging loosely around his neck.
"You made it!"
"I did," she says, not believing it herself.
"Come on," he takes her hand, much like Beth does - without asking for permission, and pulls her inside.
Quinn follows quietly and shuts the door.
The office is... Huge. It is a large, square room, and at the other end, in front of the window, there is a desk with two matching black chairs in front of it. Shelby is sitting on the desk, one knee crossed over the other. She looks the same, with a few more white hair. Her eyes widen when she sees Rachel.
Rachel focuses on how high the ceilings are in here, and how inside here there is no noise from the party downstairs. It's soundproof. The walls are not walls - they are bookshelves. A dark wood, matching the desk. The shelves are lined with tons of books; with binders, which Rachel would bet money that they are filled with sheet music. There are posters from musicals and plays from Broadway that Shelby has been in, in a distant past, and surprisingly, posters of all the works Rachel has been in. Those posters are framed and hanging on the shelves. There are pictures of the family. Shelby and Beth. Puck and Beth. Quinn and Beth. Throughout the years - as she was growing up. The four of them, in many occasions. With her six sets of grandparents; one set which should've been Rachel's. She needs to cry.
"Look, Shelby! It's Rachel," Puck says excitedly and pushes the girl further toward the desk.
She feels the fancy rug beneath her heels give. She gulps.
"Hi, Rachel."
"Shelby."
"Have you seen Beth yet?"
"Beth brought her up here, Shelby." Quinn informs her.
So they're all friends. It's weird. Rachel feels like she stepped into the Twilight Zone. She admits that it kind of makes sense that they're close now, seeing as they are in many pictures together.
"We talked about it, after Quinn showed up on my dootstep after her first year of college." Shelby starts to say when Rachel lingers on a particular picture of the four. "We changed it to an open adoption, and these two have been a constant presence in Beth's life. And I'm so glad."
Rachel presses her lips together and nods, feeling her phone inside her jacket's pocket. One press of a button and Santana would come rescue her.
"How have you been?" Shelby stands and walks toward her.
Rachel subconsciously takes one step back. "Fine," she grits out.
Shelby looks at Quinn, who's lighting up a cigarette, by the window behind the desk. She has opened it, and is sitting on the ledge. Puck is drumming on the back of a chair.
"Beth is really happy to have you here, I'm sure."
"Yes, I know." She knows because Beth makes it obvious. Like Puck. But Rachel doesn't need reassurance from them; she needs reassurance from the two people who have never, nor apparently, will ever, give it to her.
Her eyes fly to Quinn. Quinn smoking and blowing air out the window into the chilly, dark night.
"I'm sorry Beth just... Sprung up into your life like this. She has tried to convince me for years now but I wasn't sure you'd care to know about any of us."
"I don't need you to justify yourself," she lies. The phone is starting to feel heavier in her hidden hand.
Puck clicks his tongue, "hey, Rachel, I saw a few of the stuff you've been in with Beth. I had to take her for a lot of her birthdays, since Shelby wouldn't let her actually meet you. You've always been great."
Rachel looks at him in surprise. "Thanks. You, uh, should've come backstage and said hi."
He chuckles, "I couldn't. Beth said it wasn't fair that I knew you and she didn't."
Rachel has to laugh at that.
She feels Quinn look at her when she laughs so she abruptly stops. The weight of Quinn's eyes on her vanish.
Thank goodness for Puck because he doesn't let the torturing silence last. "Did you know that Quinn there is the counselor at McKinley now? She does what Ms. Pillsbury did for us." He laughs with a satisfactory smile, proud of her. "She is so fucking good at it, too."
"That's... Very cool, I didn't know that, no." Rachel does not look at Quinn.
"And Puck is now the CEO of SharkWater," Shelby says.
The pool business. "CEO?"
"It kinda grew after I moved to LA," he shrugs, not really paying much attention to his own accomplishment.
"Kind of grew?" Quinn asks with a scoff. "Rachel, SharkWater basically does pool services for like, the West coast." Rachel's eyes snap to Quinn, who's putting out the rest of her cigarette. The blonde woman is so into talking about who Puck's become that it seems she forgot their issues for the moment. "The rich and famous only want SharkWater," she winks at Puck. They are all clearly so comfortable with each other. Rachel is a little angry. "I'm sure you've heard of it? Your Hollywood friends all use his company."
Rachel shakes her head, "No, I'm sorry." She turns toward Puck, "but congratulations. You deserve something like this."
He comes toward her, and she can already recognize the face he has on. He has just come up sith an idea. "Thanks, Rach. So, my Jew princess... What do you say about us going downstairs and putting on a show for the kids, huh? An impromptu performance, like the good ol' days of yore."
Rachel doesn't want to, "no, I don't think that's a good idea."
He smirks at her.
"You're about to find out where Beth got her persuasive side from," Quinn says. Shelby laughs.
"And now - oh my gosh! You guys will hear an impromptu performance by my daddy, Puck, and my sister, Rachel!" Beth announces on the microphone, in the set-up stage, outside in the backyard.
The backyard is as big as the house, almost, and it is lit up by streamers over them. There are spotlights on Rachel and Puck. The entire party is out here now.
Puck picks up a guitar that's sitting on a guitar stand and straps it over his shoulder. Rachel walks over to Beth and takes the microphone. Her eyes look up to the audience and she can't see a single face, which is probably good, because she would probably see Quinn.
Puck hits a few of the strings and tunes them by ear and then he comes up behind Rachel and whispers in her ear, "whenever you're ready."
She nods, "Um, hi, everyone."
The crowd cheers. A larger portion of them knows by now who exactly she is.
"I'm Rachel Berry-" she's interrupted by their cheering louder. "And I'm Beth's... Sister," she gulps loudly. "This is a gift from Puck, and old friend of mine from high school, and I to Beth." She nods at him, once again, and he starts playing. "It's kind of old, from the year we graduated, I think." This makes her laugh. "But it's still pretty awesome and... We dedicate the lyrics to you." She looks over to Beth, who's beaming.
I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
and build a lego house
if things go wrong we can knock it down
My three words have two meanings,
there's one thing on my mind
It's all for you
And it's dark in a cold December,
but I've got ya to keep me warm
and if you're broken I will mend ya and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now, now
I'm gonna paint you by numbers
and colour you in
if things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall
And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before
and I will surrender up my heart
and swap it for yours
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking
and it's more than I can take
And if it's dark in a cold December,
I've got ya to keep me warm
and if you're broken then I will mend ya
and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on, now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
and out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now
I will love you better now
"Hey," she turns around, startled. After finishing the song and signing autographs for half of Beth's friends, Rachel needed to breathe.
Rachel doesn't say anything. Quinn is holding two closed beer bottles. Quinn offers her one. "I don't drink," she rejects the offer.
"Okay," Quinn says and settles the cold drinks on the floor.
Rachel found a secluded spot, in the garden, off to the back of the backyard, away from where the stage is set up. Quinn found her.
They stay quiet, Quinn pursing her lips and looking up at the moon and Rachel looking at the house bustling with life with her arms crossed.
"I'm sorry," Quinn barely whispers. Rachel almost missed it because of the rustling of the wind.
Rachel sighs and draws a lock of chestnut hair behind her ear.
"I'm," Quinn searches for words. "So fucking sorry for..." she trails off and shuts up.
Rachel zips up her jacket, finally deciding she's had enough and wanting to leave. Her hand's in her pocket and she's about to take it out to call Santana to say she's coming home, when she hears it.
Quinn's crying. She sniffs and runs the back of her hand over her eyes.
"Rach, I panicked."
Rachel starts to shake her right leg, to try to contain the need to wrap Quinn in her arms.
"After the confession and kiss," Quinn says, "when I woke up at Santana's, I thought you would never feel the way about me that I feel about you. I had tortured you for years, in my confusion, and I knew I had no chances."
This is the explanation Rachel had been wanting to hear for years, but it still scares the shit out of her to listen to it. It also frustrates her.
"I disappeared because I thought that's what you would want from me. And then after that I was just too scared, too proud, and too... Too shattered to even show my face again. And so after a while, I just didn't think you'd want to hear from me."
Rachel grips the phone. Her fingers hurt.
"And I know this is too fucking late, but I am sorry."
"I can't say that I was expecting anything from you," she tells Quinn, sharp knives at the tip of her tongue. "You confess you love me, kiss me, and then disappear from my life for fifteen years. It took me forever to get over that one little moment of my life; took me forever to get over you!"
Quinn's breath catches in her throat. She stammers, "you - you, um, get over me? You had to get over me?"
Rachel had to count to three. "Yes, I did. You were more than just Quinn to me. Even through high school. You were a constant in my life that I never understood, but I never wanted to get rid of you."
"I just assumed -" Quinn says. "When I woke up the morning after the confession, all I could think about was everything I had said and how you never reacted. It felt like you had taken my glass heart and thrown it at the ground."
Rachel doesn't want to feel sorry for Quinn; it's not fair to her.
Quinn reads the expression in Rachel's sullen face and says, "I should have just stuck around. Despite how I was feeling. That wasn't friend-like of me to just leave."
"No, it wasn't." Rachel agrees.
Silence permeates again.
Quinn sits down. It's an invitation.
Rachel stares, hard and long, before sitting, too.
She missed her.
"I never thought of you as a smoker," Rachel comments.
Quinn fidgets with her skirt. "Only when under incredible amounts of stress," she mumbles. "Please, don't tell Beth. She'd kill me." She looks at Rachel with vulnerable eyes.
Rachel's lips twitch into an almost smile and she reassures her, "I would never."
Quinn takes one of the beer bottles and offers again, to be polite. "You're sure you don't want a drink? We have a secret beer stash for some of the adults," she wiggles it.
"I don't drink," she repeats. "But I wouldn't mind it if you wanted to."
Quinn considers it, looking at the bottle with a thoughtful look. Rachel can tell she's shaking lightly.
"It's okay. I won't hold it against you or judge you for drinking it while I'm not drinking anything. It's polite of you, but really, go for it." Rachel reaches for the hand holding the bottle, but catches herself just shy of actually touching it.
She hides her hand back in her pocket.
"If you're sure," Quinn says.
"Positive," Rachel promises.
With one last sideways glance at Rachel, Quinn twists the cap and it hisses, the foam bubbling up to the surface. She moves her hand away from their bodies and then leans her neck forward, to drink from the bottle before all of it spills over. She takes a long gulp.
"Good?" Rachel asks.
"Yeah," Quinn concedes. "You don't even want a sip, Berry?" She points the tip of her bottle toward Rachel and only receives a look back.
"You haven't called me Berry in a long time. Granted, you haven't been around in a long time, but if you had been..."
"Sorry, I won't do that if you don't like it."
Rachel thinks about it. "I -" Santana calls her Berry sometimes. They use it for flirting. And sometimes when Santana is upset. She doesn't give Quinn a response.
"Okay, then," Quinn licks her lips before taking another sip. "I won't."
Rachel's phone vibrates. She wants to check it. It's probably Santana.
"You know," Quinn says, "Beth won't ever shut up about how you and Puck sang that song for her Sweet Sixteen. Like, ever. We'll hear about it for years to come."
"How does she know so much about me, Quinn?"
Quinn's surprised.
But she doesn't lie. "Mostly me."
"Mostly?"
"Well, she does her research," Quinn rolls her eyes good-heartedly. "She's like you, like that." It comes out before she realizes it. She doesn't stop to linger on it, so she keeps talking. "But Shelby talks to her about you, and so does Puck. We all do. When Finn is around, she asks him about when you guys were together."
"Finn comes around here?"
Quinn nods, "I mean, yeah. He's like, Puck's business partner. After he shipped you off to New York, when he finally came to his damn senses, he went to LA. The original plan had been the Army, but Puck managed to convince him otherwise."
Rachel exhales. "Wow."
"Yeah, I know. Most of the others kids have been around, too. Kurt because of Finn, and Blaine because of Kurt. Tina and Mike got married a year after Tina graduated high school, so they stayed in Lima, and had two kids. Mike owns a dancing studio in downtown and Tina teaches acting at McKinley with me. Actually, I think the older Chang kid is here today..." Quinn says. Rachel's completely baffled. "Artie was just really good with keeping in touch. Mercedes and Britt apparently lived together in LA, after Santana left her, and they have always kept in touch with Sam who kept in touch with Puck and Mike."
"Wow," is all Rachel manages again.
"Yeah, I think Santana is the only other person from glee that I haven't spoken to in a long time."
Rachel narrows her eyes at Quinn, wondering if she knows. "Well, you never went to her wedding. You were her best friend." She needs to defend Santana.
"I know," Quinn whines. "I was a fucking terrible friend."
Rachel doesn't grace that with a response.
Quinn asks, "do you guys still talk? I remember you guys were really close in New York. But then I got the wedding invitation so I know Santana left New York."
"Yes, we talk. We live together, actually."
Quinn's mid-drink when Rachel says that. "Really?" She asks, wiping her chin of some beer.
"Yes," Rachel wonders if she should say anything. At least just to gather her reaction.
"That's really... Neat. I'm glad you guys have each other."
"Yeah," Rachel thinks about her phone. She should have checked. She should tell Santana everything's fine. "In more ways than one," she says under her breath.
"What?"
"Oh. Nothing."
Quinn narrows her eyes, "right."
Rachel takes this opportunity of talking about Santana to check the text. "Speaking of my... Roommate, she texted me earlier. I should see what she wants."
She stands up when Quinn nods and walks a few steps away, putting enough distance between them for Quinn not to hear her conversation.
When she looks back, Quinn's already looking at her with a scrutinizing look, as if she knew she was lying. They break eye contact when Santana picks up, and Quinn goes back to nursing her bottle.
"Babe, oh my god. About fucking time you called me."
"I apologize, San. I got... Caught up with all the... Memories."
"So she is there," Santana says, pain clearly laced in her voice.
"S," Rachel tries. "It was decades ago. Lives ago; stop worrying about it. You're my longest friend. You're my girlfriend. I love you."
Santana is so quiet, Rachel hears their cat purr in the background.
"She's apologized. Even for missing your wedding."
"Tell her I said for her to go fuck herself," Santana spits out.
"Santana!" Rachel yells. Quinn looks up. Rachel closes her eyes. She lowers her voice. "I should go."
"You haven't told her, have you?"
"Told her what, S?" Rachel asks, feeling defeated; exhausted. She really wasn't up for fighting with Santana because of Quinn.
"About us."
"I did."
"That we're fucking?"
Rachel sighs and rubs her forehead. "Don't be crude, Santana. Don't do that. We're more than just... Fucking." She whispers, harshly. "You're the woman I love, you asshole. We've been dating for almost a year now.""
"So did you tell her, Rach?" Santana presses.
"I haven't yet," she finally admits. "But I will. I promise I will, okay?" She uses her soothing tone of voice; the reassuring one. The one that usually calms Santana down.
"Okay." Santana is still upset, she knows, but Rachel is really going to tell. "One last thing, Rachel?"
Rachel opens her eyes and finds to be looking right at Quinn. "Yes?"
"You kiss her and we're through."
Santana hangs up right after that. Of course Santana would feel that way. She's always the one getting cheated on. Or, she was with Britt. It's why she's so insecure about Rachel. Especially Rachel being around Quinn. But Rachel isn't going to kiss Quinn. If Santana didn't tolerate it from Britt, why would she ever tolerate it from Rachel?
Rachel sighs and puts the phone back in the pocket. She grabs her hair and moves it all behind her shoulders. She stands in front of Quinn, looking down.
"Everything alright?" Quinn asks, not daring to look up yet.
Rachel huffs out a breath of air and says, "no, not exactly. I really should go now." She doesn't know why she keeps saying that to Quinn. Keeps saying she'll leave but doesn't actually do it. It's like being around Quinn achors her to the ground.
Quinn looks up.
Rachel can't stand it.
She turns on her heels, set on finding Beth to tell her she has to go. She has to go back to Santana. Where she's safe. And loved. Because if she stays a minute longer here, she'll be setting herself up for another heartbreak.
If she stays a minute longer, she will end up forgiving Quinn and kissing her. That will crush Santana and end her longest friendshil, and her relationship. And then Quinn won't stay around to pick up any of those pieces.
"Rachel! Wait!" Quinn calls out just before Rachel reaches the garden's gate.
She doesn't turn, but she stops. After all these years, when Quinn asks her to wait, she still waits.
"I'm seeing Santana," Rachel says as a way to protect herself.
"I know," Quinn says, quietly. Like that won't stop her. Rachel feels Quinn's fingers on her wrist pull her around.
"Quinn," she whispers. She loves the way Quinn's scent attacks her. It makes her dizzy in a real fucking good way. She smells sweet.
"If you don't want me to kiss you," Quinn starts to warn her, "stop me right now."
Rachel whimpers.
Quinn tightens her hold of Rachel's left wrist and pulls her flush into her, immediately seeking Rachel's neck. Her fingers thread the hair at the back of Rachel's neck with blunt force.
Rachel takes one step forward, making Quinn have to take one step back or they'd fall out of balance. Her hands loop around Quinn's shoulders and all Quinn has to do is mumble against Rachel's lips, "up." Rachel jumps and Quinn's hand releases the wrist and grabs Rachel's ass, to keep her there.
Rachel's legs wrap around Quinn, and she rolls her body to make herself more comfortable. Quinn's tongue slides over her bottom lip. She moans. When her mouth opens, Quinn takes her lip by the teeth, and pulls on it. "Fuck," Rachel mutters.
Quinn's other hand travels down Rachel's neck to her back and spreads over her lower back. Rachel'a hands hold onto Quinn's head so she doesn't dare move. Rachel kisses Quinn's top lip, sucking on it, and then licks the side of her mouth before kissing a path down her jawline.
Quinn rolls her head to the side and really hopes that her legs are strong enough to keep them both up. She's already starting to feel like her knees will give at any moment.
Rachel can't get enough of the taste of Quinn's skin. She places open-mouthed kisses on the side of her neck and further down - moving Quinn's blouse with her fingers - on her collarbone.
"Quinn?"
They both freeze. Their noses are still pressed up against each other's but Rachel can feel all of Quinn tense. Quinn opens her eyes to see that Beth is about twenty steps away from catching them making out.
Slowly, she sets Rachel down and looks away, running a hand though her short hair.
Rachel doesn't even look at her, just walks straight further into the garden. Completely the opposite from where she had intended on going.
Rachel can feel how swollen her lips are. They taste like the beer Quinn was drinking and a faint mint from what she assumes is Quinn's chapstick. That kiss was so hot though. She licks her lips thinking about it again.
They almost got caught by Quinn's daughter.
The birthday girl.
Who went to New York to specifically invite her.
Her... Sister.
How fucked up is that?
She drops on a tree stump and closes her eyes. Elbows on her thighs, Rachel lets out a shaky breath, finally thinking about Santana and what she had said. At the moment - now that there is distance between hers and Quinn's body, - she feels like the shittiest girlfriend in the world.
"You kiss her and we're through." She can hear Santana's voice nagging in the back of her head. What the fuck has she done? This will break Santana in pieces. Not only did she kiss her after Santana gave her the ultimatum, she did it with the girl who broke her heart and left Santana to pick up the pieces. This is the girl who walked away from both of them. That is utmost betrayal.
Quinn comes after her again five minutes later. He eyes are red and puffy. The tip of her nose is also red. She can't see it herself, but she knows it from crying in front of a mirror so many times before. Her bottom lip is jutting out, and she reminds herself to wipe the bottom of her eyes to clean the running mascara.
Quinn squats in front of her and places a hand on each knee. "Hey," she says softly. "You don't have to do that. You look beautiful anyway."
"Don't," Rachel says.
Quinn sighs. "I'm sorry for back there."
"That's a lot of sorrys from one woman, Quinn." Rachel says.
Quinn visibly winces. "Well," she says after she composes herself. "I am."
"What did Beth want?"
Quinn gulps. "She was looking for you. She said she can't find you."
Rachel feels worse and starts to cry again. "I'm going to fuck up her life."
Quinn shushes her and doesn't hesitate in wrapping strong arms around her. Rachel's head seeks comfort in hiding in the crook of Quinn's neck. Warm tears slide down her cheek and fall on Quinn.
"You're not doing anything to Beth."
"I just kissed her biological mother. When she calls me her sister. Do you not see how fucking twisted that is?"
Quinn chuckles bitterly, "yeah, but those are all labels. You and her have no genetics in common. Whatsoever."
"The labels matter."
"Is that all that matters?" Quinn asks.
"It matters that I cheated on Santana. And that you will break my heart again. And that Shelby will kick me out for coming here and messing things up. And it matters that - that Beth loves me. Despite all the shit our past holds, she still loves me and wants to get to know me and I ruined that."
"If you really want to get to know her, I won't let this ruin it," Quinn tells her, putting some space between them to look Rachel in the eyes. She doesn't let go of her arms though, and doesn't wait too long to embrace her again.
God, Rachel simply drowns herself in the feeling.
"I won't break your heart again," Rachel registers Quinn say.
Rachel's mind is a whirlwind. "I really have to go this time. Tell Beth an emergency came up; I'll ca her." Rachel's already standing up and walking away.
"You don't have her -"
She throws it over her shoulder, "it's on the invite."
The night she spends at the hotel in Lima is restless. She just needed a place to lay her head anyway, to wait for her plane for New York.
She calls Santana from the airport. "I'm coming home to you," she leaves on the voicemail. She is somewhat thankful Santana isn't awake yet.
The next week passes and every day, she gets a phone call from an unknown number. She knows it's Beth. The number is only unknown because she hasn't compared it to the one on her invitation yet.
Santana believed her when she told her that nothing happened between her and Quinn. Or so Santana says.
The Latina has been distant. She doesn't know if it's because Santana just knows, or if she's just upset over the fact that she went in the first place.
A month later and Santana is packing her bags.
Rachel walks in the room to find all of Santana's clothes on their bed, and two suitcases open.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Rachel asks, approaching Santana who is calmly putting her shoes in a box.
"Leaving you," Santana says coldly. "I don't need this shit again, Rachel. And I warned you."
Rachel won't give up. She crosses her arms and asks, "what the fuck are you even talking about?"
"I'm talking about you and Quinn."
"Nothing happened," Rachel insists, stomping her foot. "I didn't kiss her."
Santana stands and walks past her toward their living room with the box of shoes. She abruptly stops and turns, making Rachel stop on her tracks. She gives her a once-over, "you must think I'm fucking stupid."
"What? Santana, no!" Rachel pleads and reaches for her when she turns around to leave. "I don't. Please, don't go."
"I can't believe you'd ruin everything we've had and worked for... Over that... Puta."
Rachel's eyebrows frown and her mouth starts to quiver. Her eyes are burning. She starts to cry. "I never had a choice when it comes down to Quinn, S."
"It's always a choice to cheat," she says. "I fucked a random when you left for Lima - there; a choice!" She spits at Rachel and walks away.
Rachel lands on her butt and cries until she can no longer feel her hands.
The phone calls stop the second month.
Puck shows up on the second month.
She's at the theater, rehearsing for her play later that day when he comes in. The large doors shut behind him and the sound echos through the near-empty hall.
Rachel faces the sound with her director and her mouth hangs open.
Puck's in a suit. He looks neat.
Rachel doesn't want to deal with it, though, so she excuses herself from her friends and picks up her stuff from where she had thrown earlier. She throws a small towel over her shoulder and disappears backstage.
Puck yells after her, quickening his pace and finding her already pacing in the small, poorly-lit hallway backstage.
She knows what he's here for.
"Just call her back, please." He says instead of even trying to butter it up.
When his fingers interlock in a pleading motion in front of his chest, she notices thewedding ring for the first time. Life is trippy.
"Puck," she says breathless. "You're married."
He's surprised at first but then he smirks, "yeah. She's great.
She worries for the first time that Quinn might be married to Puck. They do have a daughter and history together. But no, can't be because his business is in Cali, and Quinn lives in Lima. She asks to make sure, "was she at the party?"
"No," he shakes his head. "Mercedes stayed at home taking care of our newborn son."
"Mercedes Jones?" She almost shouts.
He laughs, "no, they just share a first name."
"Oh." She breathes easier. Then she tilts her head at him, hair falling beautifully to the side. "Puck. Noah," she corrects herself.
"Yes, Rachel?"
"Did you come all the way here from California to get me to call Beth back?"
He nods, "Shelby and Quinn called me, asking me to. They both said you wouldn't listen to them."
They're right, she wouldn't have.
"I'm sorry I ran, Noah."
He looks at her with eyes that explain he knows why. "So is she," he tells her and she isn't sure if he's talking about mother or daughter.
She feels like a call would be cheap. So she's boarding a plane again, a week after Noah visited.
The school is in session. McKinley looks just as lame now as it did then. It looks older.
Rachel pulls the hat down over her eyes and walks in, looking to find Beth before Quinn finds her. Knowing this school and its employees, they never really roam the hallways, so she hopes she'll be lucky.
Now, where would Beth be?
Rachel has a hunch.
She's right.
The choir room has about ten kids in it. Beth is the one standing in front of them, holding up a poster that Rachel can't read what it says.
Someone points at the door. Everyone looks, including Beth and Mr. Schue.
Before Rachel has time to explain why she's really there, Mr. Schue, with less hair, pulls her inside and gives her a bone-crushing hug. "Rach! Sing them a song."
She lowers her voice and looking at Beth she asks Mr. Schue if she can speak to her for a moment. The Corcoran girl doesn't look at her. She looks toward the risers, above the heads of the other students; she looks toward the windows Kurt spent so many rehearsals staring out. Rachel wonders what he was looking at.
"Sure, Rachel," he tells her and motions for Beth to go.
The girl silently follows Rachel to the auditorium where Rachel has sang so much and cried probably as much.
They sit on the seats at the very front.
"I'm sorry," Rachel starts. She's prepared to grovel, if need be. "I needed some time to think about all I saw then."
Beth smiles softly, "it's okay. I knew you'd come back."
The younger of the two insists in showing Rachel something. So Rachel agrees in going back to the Corcoran mansion, and even lets Beth drive them there.
The car is backing out of the parking lot of the school when a frazzled-looking Quinn comes out through the main entrance. "Beth Corcoran - stop right there."
Breaks immediately are pressed. Beth groans and dips her head, pissed for getting caught.
Quinn approaches the car and she sees Rachel, she just ignores her presence. "Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm showing Rachel something," she uses her head to point at Rachel on the passenger seat.
Rachel flushes as she remembers the way Quinn kissed her the night of the party, "Hi, Quinn."
"Berry," Quinn finally acknowledges her. It's cold and detached and she doesn't linger on Rachel's eyes before turning back toward Beth. "You know your mom left me to take care of you. You could have at least given me a warning. I wouldn't have prohibited you from seeing her."
"I know, I'm sorry. But, please, don't tell mom that." She grimaces, her nose scrunching up.
Quinn drops her head, visibly torn at the decision. When she looks back up, she stares right at Rachel. "Just make sure you're back for dinner." Then she looks at Beth, "Six, got it?" She taps Beth's nose with the pad of her index finger, and Beth giggles.
"Thanks, Quinn! Love you," she yells out the window as she's already driving off.
So Rachel got sucked into staying for dinner by Beth. Or maybe it was the way Quinn had commanded her eyes and told her she had to be there. Beth parks the car beside the house, where the garage leads to, and Rachel feels a little weird at coming in the house through the door usually reserved for family.
Beth hands her the keys as she presses the button by the door that leads into the house, and wiggles her eyebrows at Rachel. Rachel smiles.
"That was sort of really special," she tells Beth.
"I know, right? I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what I told Quinn when she first took me there."
Rachel is taken aback, "Quinn took you there?"
Beth is impressed that Rachel is surprised, "um, yeah? Like, she is obsessed with all things Broadway, just like me. Or, I guess I'm like her," Beth rolls her eyes with a playful giggle. "And mom, too, but mostly Quinn. She's the one who would tell me all about your upcoming shows and at first, before I could go to New York with Puck - she would bring me back the playbills." Beth smirks at Rachel over her shoulders and makes way into the kitchen. It smells fucking amazing. Rachel could drool at whatever it is being cooked on the stove.
"We're home," she says.
Quinn shows up from around a wall, wearing sweats and a white V-neck, her glasses on her nose. Rachel didn't know Quinn wore glasses. It's kind of really cute. She's holding a water bottle, screwing the cap back on. "Dinner's almost ready," she informs them. "So, what'd she think?" She points the bottle at Rachel, asking the question to Beth. When she's right there. She's right there.
"She loved it," Beth says simply. "I'm going to run upstairs and change. Rachel, make yourself at home."
Rachel's face makes a comical expression at that, but Beth doesn't see it because she's already running up the stairs.
"I'm really glad you're back," Quinn says, all aloof. Like it's no big deal that she's admitting to this. Then, of course, she adds, "Beth loves you, so."
Rachel drags a lock of hair behind her left ear and smiles shyly. "I like her a lot, too. She's... so refreshing. A weird mixture of too many personalities I grew to despise, but on her -it just. It's all so weirdly perfect."
Quinn sits on the island and grabs a bottle from the 24-pack sitting on it. "Want it?" She offers it gently at Rachel. "It's not beer. Figured this time I'd be polite and drink something I know you drink."
"Thank you, Quinn," Rachel mumbles and takes it. She awkwardly stands there. The pot on the stove top is steaming so much, Rachel fears the food will be gone by the time Quinn gets to it. Quinn looks back.
"So, the play."
"Really good," Rachel hears herself say too quickly; excited. "I'm - surprised you're the one who showed it to Beth."
Quinn rolls her eyes, but not to anger Rachel, she notices. "I keep up with the local theater scene. With theater in general."
"So I've heard," Rachel mumbles and dares look up at Quinn through her lashes. Quinn stares back and bites her lip, hands already at the edge of the counter of the island. Rachel is kind of wanting Quinn to just jump and come press her body against the pantry door behind her, but they can't run the risk of Beth seeing them again. "But the work that they're doing with those kids - it's amazing." Rachel decides it's safer to go back there.
"I know. The autistic children learn how to recognize emotions through facial expressions and body language and... it's all so beautiful. Anyway, I started helping out there when I came back from New York, as a way to feel good enough about myself to ask for, like, a fourth chance with Beth."
Rachel smiles, "she's really smart, that girl."
"Oh, yeah. Sometimes she's way too smart and I curse myself for it."
Rachel laughs. She laughs when she notices Quinn is joking around with her, and lets her head roll back and laugh. She's actually laughing really loudly, and she doesn't even know why because it's not that funny. "Oh," she tries to calm down her breathing, "I'm sorry; I - don't really know why I was laughing so hard."
Quinn doesn't move much. She runs her index finger over the marble top and supports most of her weight with the water bottle behind her - pressing it hard into the counter. "It's no big deal. I like making you laugh."
It gets quiet as Rachel just looks at Quinn with wide eyes, but a smile still on her lips. Her brows furrow, and she licks her lips prepared to say something when Quinn gets down from the island.
"It's ready," she tells Rachel.
"What?" Rachel's confused, still trying to grasp what's happening.
"The food," Quinn says.
"How do you know?"
Quinn throws her a raised eyebrow over her left shoulder, "I just do."
Quinn was right. It was ready and it was delicious. Rachel isn't really sure what she just ate, but it had tofu and couscous and other things mixed in - like cranberries and nuts. It is really satisfying and completely vegan and she is completely baffled Quinn remembers after all this time.
Beth didn't even complain about it being vegan, which only informs Rachel that veganism is not so strange in this house.
"This is really good, Quinn." She feels alright about complimenting Quinn. She feels oddly comfortable in the house, even though she knows Quinn doesn't live here. She thinks it's because Shelby isn't around.
"Thanks." Is all the blonde says, but she looks at Rachel over the glass of apple juice she's drinking and winks.
Beth's going to sleep. After staying up until four in the morning, Quinn makes her go to bed. Good thing it's a Friday and there's no school tomorrow.
Rachel hopes the scary movie doesn't keep her up.
"Good night, Rachel. Thank you for coming and for staying." Rachel isn't even that surprised when the smaller blonde hugs her, leaning over her on the couch.
"It wasn't ever my intention to stay away for long," she whispers into Beth's hair and then pushes her lightly away to look her in the eyes, but maintains the arm distance. "You're alright, kid. You're one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time." She tells her with all the sincerity in her heart, narrowing her deep, brown eyes to look at Beth's shining hazel. "Now, go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night," she chirps and disappears up the stairs.
Rachel hears the sniff and turns to face Quinn on the other end of the couch, silently trying to dry away the tears falling over her perfect porcelain skin, but failing. "Hey," Rachel calls at her. She doesn't look but manages to get a better grip on the constant sniffing.
She looks like she's struggling to breathe.
Rachel scoots closer, carefully. "Hey, don't cry." She says.
Quinn looks at her and Rachel sees it.
Love.
Clearly written on Beth's hazel eyes, but on Quinn's face.
"You don't understand how much it means to me that you're doing this with Beth," Quinn tells her, gulping hard and licking her lips to wet them. Her throat scratches. She itches her eyebrows because her eyes are burning already. A headache is imminent, and she knows that in the morning it'll hurt hell for staying up late and for crying.
"Well," Rachel says, "it's not hard when she's so amazing."
They kiss again three weeks later, in the middle of the summer, when Quinn insists she takes Beth up to New York for Rachel's play and Rachel tells them they have to stay for at least a week. Puck really wanted to, but he couldn't, anyway, with the new baby. Shelby liked that Rachel and Beth were closer each day but she just didn't feel like she would be welcomed.
Beth is taking a shower, after a day at the pool with just the three of them. It had been the perfect summer day - with the warm (not overbearingly hot) air, and bright skies.
Quinn's hair is still wet, and she's coming down the stairs of Rachel's apartment-loft, when Rachel realizes she can't deny it anymore. She wants this woman more than anything.
They've been talking constantly ever since that night with the dinner and the movies until late. Over text messages, over phone calls, over e-mails; whenever there's time, there is communication happening. They still haven't talked about the Santana over it all, even though Rachel's been broken up with her for a while.
She misses her; sometimes she misses her to the point of crying for hours. But she also knows that it wasn't going to work anyway, if she was always wondering 'what if' with the whole Quinn situation. Besides, she misses Santana as a friend more than a lover most of those days.
Now, Quinn is standing in front of Rachel with a curious expression and light eyes and a smile. "Are you okay?" She asks and tilts her head, reaching around Rachel to grab her purse behind the brunette.
Rachel just looks at Quinn as the blonde seems to be oblivious about what's happening right in front of them. They're so close, that Rachel can practically taste the smell of Quinn's soap - honey vanilla something really fucking good.
Quinn looks up again, this time she looks a little less confused, and sets her purse back down on the tall, square table behind Rachel. Whatever she was looking for is completely forgotten.
Rachel tilts her head just a tad bit up, and finds Quinn's eyes a lot more darker than they were three seconds ago.
The blonde's hands find their way toward the table and Quinn has her trapped there, not that she's complaining. Quinn's eyes fall to her lips, that she's chewing on lightly, nervous - anticipating; anxious for the kiss she knows will happen.
Quinn shakes her head in quiet disapproval and focuses in on Rachel's action, chastising her not to make herself bleed. Rachel stops and her air catches when Quinn barely moves an inch forward.
It's fucking torture watching Quinn watch her with those eyes, inching in. Those - fuck me eyes. Quinn's so sexy, and Rachel's sure that half the time she doesn't mean to be. She licks her lips, and Quinn mirrors the action.
The blonde nudges Rachel's nose for a few heartbeats. Rachel thinks she's just as nervous and wants to get it right. And she gets it. Her heart melts, and Rachel just lets the moment be, hoping it fuels Quinn on and not to backpedal.
"I shouldn't have walked away after that night," Rachel says, whispers at Quinn's cheek. There's is electricity in the way their skins are so close but not touching. Quinn just shakes her head, and Rachel continues, "I won't walk now." Quinn nods.
"Neither will I. Ever again."
Rachel closes her eyes first, trusting. This is something she needs to learn for herself. She doesn't even bother checking with her toe before jumping in the cold water - she closes her eyes and breathes in, and then leans forward, capturing Quinn's lips with her own with all the want and need and wanton she's feeling.
Quinn smiles against her lips. Quinn enjoys knowing Rachel wants her, she's so sure. And then Quinn slows down their kiss, languidly stroking Rachel's tongue and delving deeper and fuck - Rachel could go for it right now, but that would be way too early and way inappropriate with Quinn's daughter in the place, too.
But she does let her arms wrap around Quinn's neck. It's nice. It feels right. It fits.
"About time," they hear coming from the stairs, and when both women look toward the voice, they find Beth staring at them with a 'Thank God,' face. "The U.S.T.," she says each letter with flair, "was killing me."
Beth passes by them, unfazed by anything, and grabs the vegan pizza box from inside the refrigerator to reheat it from last night.
Both woman turn deep red. They step away and Rachel finds she needs to get... something from... somewhere in her room.
"Do you ever speak to Santana?" Comes up in a phone call about a month later.
"No," Rachel says immediately. "Well, she doesn't talk to me."
"I'm sorry," Quinn says. She can hear that she's not sorry for their being together but sorry that it had to happen this way. "You must miss her."
"Most days, I do," Rachel doesn't lie.
The line goes quiet.
She isn't quite sure the moment it happened, but when she realizes it, she thinks her heart will burst.
She loves Beth.
Well, duh. Who doesn't? She probably loved Beth from the time she saw her in the audience and couldn't place her.
Even as Beth pushed her buttons, and accidentally made Rachel throw up, but she doesn't hold that against the girl.
But, no. She loves Beth in a way family loves family.
So she turns to her half-sister, adopted, who is the daughter of her girlfriend, who's watching the screen - and she should just really stop with the fucking labeling because it's creepy as hell- and says, "I love you so much, kiddo." And pulls her into her arms, wrapping them around the blonde. She plants a kiss on the top of her head and feels her settle.
And of course she's told Beth she's loved her before. But it doesn't hurt when she actually knows she'd do anything for her.
Quinn tells her she loves her first.
It's an afternoon, and they're just reading in her apartment. Quinn is visiting, without Beth this time, because Beth has some test to really study for.
They're sitting on the couch together, and Quinn's looking at her over her reading glasses with a shit-eating grin on her face.
"What?" She asks, tilting her head with adoring eyes and rubbing her toe over Quinn's ankle.
"I just love you, that's all."
Rachel just about becomes a puddle.
She knows she doesn't have to tell Quinn back right away, because she knows the blonde knows she loves her back. She also knows that this time Quinn won't run if she doesn't. So she pushes her boundaries and smirks, her cheeks feeling warmer and her chest, too.
She waits long seconds - three to be exact - one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi- and then watches Quinn roll her eyes with a knowing smirk.
"I love you, too."
They almost get caught making love by Beth a couple of times during Winter break.
Once in the kitchen of Shelby's house, when they thought they were alone, and once in Quinn's apartment, when Beth shows up out of nowhere with Gracie, and Lara, and Ryder and demands they be taken to a movie.
The four of them are sitting around a table. Quinn and Rachel are holding hands, settled on top of Rachel's thigh, and Puck is cradling his baby boy - Hunter. What a cliche name for Puck's son. Shelby is sipping on pink lemonade Mercedes - Puck's wife - makes, and staring at Beth with a loving, motherly look.
Rachel wants that, too. Not from Shelby, but for herself.
Santana is invited to the wedding.
Not out of spite or to brag, but because she's Rachel's best friend. And she misses her.
Santana doesn't show.
Beth walks in first.
Everyone looks so happy to be here.
Rachel's fathers have been crying for the last two days.
Shelby's trying to reel it in.
The rest of the glee club - with the exception of Santana Lopez - makes it, too.
Three months after that, Rachel gets a call.
"I'm sorry I've been a dick. I'm even more sorry I missed your wedding to the girl of your dreams."
"No, San. I'm so sorry things went about this way. I'm sorry I hurt you like that when I knew your biggest fear."
Rachel can practically see the shrug, "I'm over it now. Let's just... move on? I want to be happy for you, and I want to get to know your daughter-sister? Is that what she is?"
Rachel groans loudly. Santana laughs.
Quinn smiles from Rachel's side, in bed.
"Okay, kid. Do it." Santana smirks at Beth and wiggles her eyebrow, in a way that freaks out Rachel and she can see freaks out Quinn, too.
Beth looks at her family, all three thousand (maybe that's an exaggeration - but come on, have you seen how many mother figures she has?) of them, and smiles. She hits all of the notes of the run perfectly, and Rachel hasn't even been the one to teach her.
She stands up, proud, and hugs both her and Santana at the same time. "I'm so proud!" She squeals.
Beth is elated. She looks at Quinn, who's looking back with the same expression.
"Fuck, man. This is taking forever."
"S, please, language." Puck nods at Beth sitting next to her on the hospital chair, biting her nails, freaking out.
"Sorry, Beth."
"I've heard cussing before, Puck," Beth says, trying to assuage him. She's eighteen now, of course she has.
Puck keeps an eye on Hunter running down the hallway. He misses Mercedes. He throws his head back, breathing deeply, "sorry. I know you have... just... nervous."
Quinn comes down the hallway, smiling like she's the happiest girl alive, "It's a girl," he smiles at Quinn. "Want to go see her?"
They all follow without hesitation.
She's the most adorable, precious thing Quinn has ever laid eyes on. Well, that's relative, because both Rachel and Beth can also elicit those thoughts from her, but as she shows off her baby girl, she feels like the luckiest woman on the planet. She is holding a gift, and she gets to have her eldest daughter, her wife -the woman of her dreams - and her best friends in the room with her.
"What's her name?" Santana asks.
"Beth?" Rachel turns her eyes at Beth, allowing her to say.
"Wait for it..." Beth says with a smirk and wiggles her eyebrows.
The END
A/N: it wasn't my intention to make anybody hate any of the ships. I like Brittana and Faberry and Pezberry. Also, I don't condone cheating, BUT you can't even pretend canon!characters don't ever cheat. Sooo.
Yet another note: i had no idea so many people would be more into the pezberry while searching for faberry. I dont blame you, i loveeee pezberry. Would it make a difference (would you guys enjoy it more) if I changed Rachel's gf's name?