A/N: Wow, I know it's been a while and I am so sorry. For any of you that actually read these notes and care, I do actually have a good reason for the delay of this chapter. First off, I'm getting married in four months, and 6 weeks and my dog got sick and had to have surgery. So all in all, the past month and a half has been crazy for me. But I did read and cherish every review and I never forgot about DLMG. I promise I will finish this story. With that said, here's the latest chapter…my longest one yet because you all deserve it. Enjoy!
…
An hour later, Jake and Rachel were sitting in the emergency room waiting for a doctor to check out Jake's nose. The bleeding had finally stopped but he could feel that it was swollen.
Rachel had barely said more than two words to him since they'd arrived and he knew he was in the dog house. Unable to take the silence anymore, Jake decided to speak up, "Okay, just spit it out already."
Rachel clicked her tongue and slowly turned her head to the right to look her brother in the eye, "Believe me, you do not want to hear what I have to say."
Jake sighed heavily, "C'mon Rach. You can say anything; I promise I won't fly off the handle again."
Rachel continued to stare at him for a moment as she collected her thoughts. She'd had a running dialogue playing in her head for the past hour of everything she wanted to say to Jake, but she wanted to start carefully. "You know Jake; ever since mom died I've looked out for you. I've defended and stood up for you and I've always been proud of you. I liked to think that I was part of the reason you turned out so good…." She paused for a moment before continuing, "but tonight, I didn't even recognize you."
Jake turned his head away from his sister's direction and tilted it back to rest against the sterile white wall behind him. More than anything, Jake loved his family, and hearing his sister's words hurt him. "I'm sorry Rachel, I hate disappointing you. It's just, Ness…when I get around her, I lose it…I can't control myself. "
"Clearly," Rachel responded derisively.
Jacob ignored her mocking tone and continued, "I know I acted like an ass, but you don't know what she did Rach…"
Before he could finish, Rachel cut him off as she spoke, "actually, I do. Claire told me."
Hearing this, he turned to face his sister once more. He tried to control his emotions, but he couldn't deny that it hurt. His own sister had known how Ness had lied to him; basically used him; and still she'd acted as if it didn't matter, "How…"
Seeing Jakes reaction to her words play out on his face, Rachel jumped in and cut him off again, "Jake, I know she hurt you. And I'm not saying what she did was right, but she doesn't deserve to be crucified for it. She made a mistake, and honestly, you don't know all the details. You heard what you deemed sufficient and nothing else mattered."
Rachel reached out her left hand and placed it on Jake's arm as she continued, "She was scared and confused, and instead of facing her problems she ran from them…and that's something I know a lot about. After high school I did the same thing; I couldn't get out of here fast enough. I loved you and dad, but you and this place reminded me too much of mom. I hurt every day and I thought the only way I could ever be happy was if I were far away from here. But being away didn't help. It wasn't until I came back and faced my past that I could finally move on. I know her situation isn't exactly the same, but it's similar. She was scared and just needed the right incentive to actually face her problems. I do agree that she should have been honest with you, but there's nothing you can do to change it now. And if you continue to be this bitter, angry person, it's gonna consume you…and I don't want that for my brother."
Jake listened closely to every word his sister spoke, and he could feel how much she believed what she'd said.
"All I'm saying is that you've been carrying all this anger around for too long. You're hurt and pissed off and it's affecting your relationships with every other person you know. If you just let that anger go, you'd be so much happier. You don't have to be with her, but if you don't get passed this it'll ruin you."
Jake wanted to respond, but before he had the chance his name was called. He got up from the too small chair he'd been sitting in and followed the nurse through the double doors as he thought about everything his sister had said.
…
Jake spent the rest of his weekend contemplating all that had happened over the past six months. His sister had been right, he didn't recognize himself either and he didn't like it. He knew it was time to put it all behind him so he could move on.
By the time Monday morning rolled around, Jake felt surprisingly optimistic. It was a rainy morning so he drove his truck to work instead of taking the bike and he saw Ness' car already in the lot when he pulled up. After unlocking and opening the doors to the bays, he walked into the office to get a cup of coffee.
He felt bad about what had happened Saturday night and he didn't know what kind of reaction he'd get from Ness. But when he finally caught a glimpse of her he was surprised to see how red and swollen her eyes looked. Their eyes locked for only a second before she quickly turned away and faced the computer.
He made his way to the coffee pot in the back corner of the office, kicking himself as he went. It was obvious that she'd been crying and he felt like even more of an ass than he already had. He quickly decided that if he was going to start acting like a mature adult, now would be a pretty good time. With his mind made up, he cleared his throat and started to speak as he poured himself a cup of coffee, "Good morning Ness."
Ness couldn't believe what she'd heard. She turned slowly and looked over to where Jake was standing with his back facing her. She'd spent the rest of her weekend home, crying on and off, getting only a handful of hours of sleep. She knew she looked horrible and she felt like crawling under a rock. "Hi," she whispered back.
Ness kept her eyes on Jake and she noticed the slight tensing of his muscles when she spoke. She continued to watch as he raised the white, Styrofoam coffee cup to his lips and took a sip as he turned slightly in her direction. He looked at the coffee pot and nodded towards it as he spoke again, "thanks for making the coffee."
All Ness could do was nod in response, her throat was closed too tight to speak.
Jake just stood looking at the coffee pot for another second before he turned away and hurriedly walked back out to the garage.
As soon as he was gone Ness took in a deep breath, not realizing beforehand that she'd been holding it. Her hands were shaking and her heart was beating a mile a minute. They'd exchanged less than 10 words, but they were words spoken without any anger or hurt lacing them. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
…
Later that evening, Jake drove to his sister's house. He'd been busy the remainder of the day and hadn't stepped foot in the office again. But he told himself it was only because of how busy they'd been at the shop, not because he was avoiding Ness.
But deep down, where he was honest with himself, he knew that was a lie. It had been six months since he'd had a civil conversation with her and it was hard for him to jump back into it. It had also been extremely hard for him to see how upset she was. He'd been angry for so long that he'd forgotten why he'd been hurt in the first place; because he cared.
Now that he wasn't letting the anger control him anymore, it was easy to remember. But he just wasn't ready to jump into a friendship with Ness.
As soon as he'd closed up the shop he'd gotten in his truck to head to his sister's house. He knew he needed to apologize and wanted her to know that he was ready to put it all behind him.
He pulled up into the gravel drive of Rachel and Paul's house and killed the engine on his truck. He felt something crash into his legs as he stepped out and he looked down to see his nephew Taylan looking up at him with a huge smile plastered on his face.
"Hey Uncle Jake, guess what? Dad and Uncle Jarrod built a tree house for me and I'm gonna have a sleep over in it this weekend. Mom said you have a sleeping bag so you'll come, right?"
Jake leaned down and scooped Taylan up, lifting him above his head as he spun in a circle, "Sure Midget, I think I can squeeze a sleepover in," he said as Taylan squealed in excitement from above.
After more than a few spins, Jake stopped and lowered him to the ground, holding on until Taylan got his balance back. "You good?"
"Yeah," Taylan replied as he laughed. "That was fast."
"I know, but you're getting' bigger…I figured you could handle it. Pretty soon I won't be able to call you Midget anymore," Jake stated as they walked towards the house.
"Yeah, dad says I'm getting' tall too…I think I'll be taller than him when we're the same age."
Jake laughed at that, his nephews logic never failed to amuse him, "I'm sure you will be midge."
Once they reached the living room, Taylan took Jakes hand and pulled as he asked, "Hey, you wanna come to my room and play my new video game with me?"
"Sure thing, I just gotta go talk to your mom for a minute and then I'll be there, okay?"
Taylan eagerly nodded his head and turned to run off. "Okay, I'll get it set up," he shouted over his shoulder as he ran towards his room.
Knowing he only had a finite amount of time before Taylan would come looking for him; Jake made a B-line to the kitchen in search of his sister. He found her standing in front of the sink washing some dishes. There was music coming from the phone lying on the table and he knew she hadn't heard him approach so he spoke up, "Hey sis, what's for dinner?"
He could tell he'd startled her by the way she jumped slightly and he chuckled to himself as she turned off the water and faced him. "Jake, you scared me…I wasn't expecting you to drop by."
"Yeah, I know, sorry…didn't mean to startle you," he said with a contrite smile.
"It's okay little brother, what's up?" She asked.
"Well…I just – I wanted to apologize for the other night."
Rachel placed the damp dish towel down on the counter and walked towards the small round table in the center of the room, taking a seat once she reached it. "Eh, it's okay. I know you had your reasons…you've already been forgiven," she replied.
Rachel nodded to the empty seat across from her and Jacob made his way over to it. As he sat down he spoke again, "Thanks Rach. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was sorry and that I'm gonna start taking your advice."
"You mean you're gonna start acting like a big boy?" she asked with a raised eyebrow for emphasis.
Jake laughed out loud at his sister's choice of words, "Yeah, I think I just might."
Rachel smiled at her brother, it made her happy to hear him laugh and she could tell just by looking at him that he meant what he said, he seemed lighter. "Good, I've missed my brother these past few months."
"I know, I've missed you too," he said, returning her smile. "But, that's not the only reason I came over. I, - I need some advice."
"About what bro?"
"Ness…I mean, I spoke to her today." Jake replied. He hadn't planned on bringing this up, but now that he was talking to his sister and putting the past six months into perspective, there was so much he felt he needed to say.
Rachel kept her expressions controlled, but she had been expecting this. From the moment she'd met and seen Ness with her brother, she'd known that he was falling hard. Once Claire told her about what went down between the two of them, his behavior over the past few months made sense. And although he'd been hurt, Rachel knew you just couldn't turn off the type of feelings Jake had for Ness. She knew it would only be a matter of time before Jake would forgive her. And that was why Rachel hadn't held a grudge, why she hadn't turned Ness away. She didn't want there to be any hard feelings between the two of them once Ness and Jake were together again. "And…" she said, prompting her brother to continue.
"And…I don't know. I – I could barely think of anything to say. I told her thanks for making coffee. Then I went out to the garage and avoided her for the rest of the day."
"Okayyy," Rachel said, dragging out the "y" and making it sound like a question.
Jake sighed and put his head in his hands as he spoke. "I was nervous; it was like I didn't know what to say or how to act."
Rachel had a feeling her brother wouldn't like what she had to say next, but she went for it anyway. "Jake, why do you think you felt that way? Why do you think you've been acting the way you've been for the past six months? Are you really that obtuse?"
Jake swallowed hard before he spoke, "I know what you're getting at Rachel. I'm not a complete moron, even if I have been acting like one. I have feelings for Ness, I know that. It's just not that easy; I can't just forget the past six months and act like nothing ever happened…like she didn't lie. I don't know how to be with her again, how to even trust her."
"Jacob, I'm not saying you should forget it. But it is possible to remember everything that happened and still forgive her…be with her…be happy with her. If that's what you want. I'm not saying it'll be easy, or that it even has to happen right away. You're just starting to recover. Take some time and figure out what it is you really want. But after you do, if it is Ness, don't let the past hold you back."
Jake heard what his sister was saying, but he didn't know if he believed it. Could it really be that simple? Could he just forgive her? Could they be happy again? He wasn't sure, but he couldn't dent that a small part of him was willing to try.
…..
Ness woke up early the next morning. For the first time since starting at the garage, she was excited about going to work. She showered and afterwards, took her time picking out an outfit and doing her hair; she even applied a light touch of make-up, which she hadn't worn in months.
As she made her way to the shop later that morning, she couldn't shake the butterflies in her stomach. Calm down, just because he spoke to you yesterday doesn't mean he's going to today, she chided herself. But her hopes were already through the roof, and she was excited and scared at the same time.
As usual, she was the first one to arrive. Once inside the office she set about her morning tasks, starting up the ancient computer, making coffee, and pulling up the scheduled appointments for the day; there were only two, which meant it would be a slow day.
Fifteen minutes after she'd arrived she heard the roar of Jacobs's bike as he approached the shop and she felt her stomach drop to her knees. Pull it together Renesmee.
Not more than two minutes later she heard the door to the office open and she immediately turned to face it, and him.
He stood ten feet from her in a black t-shirt, a pair of low-slung jeans, and black steel toed boots; he hadn't yet put his coveralls on. It had been so long since she'd had the chance to really look at him and she was transfixed, unable to pull her eyes away. She was so preoccupied while she starred that she completely missed the fact that he was starring as well. Until their eyes met that is.
Jake smiled sheepishly and she felt her cheeks heat up as she blushed and quickly turned away.
"Morning," she heard him say over her shoulder.
Ness took a second to compose herself before responding, "Good morning." She wasn't brave enough to offer anything more than the simple greeting.
She sat at her desk, trying to focus on pulling up the shop's spreadsheets, but she was having difficulty dragging her attention away from Jake. It was as if her entire body was attuned to his. She listened to his footsteps as he made his way to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. From her position, she could slightly make out his profile in the reflection from her computer screen as well. She expected him to take a sip and then walk back out to the garage. But instead of turning towards the door, he turned towards her, and then he made his way over to her desk.
Three long strides, that's all it took before Jacob was standing beside her desk and she had absolutely no time to freak out. Instead, she tried to stay calm as he stood, tall and strong, less than a foot from her.
"So," he started, "what's on the books for today?" Ness couldn't detect even an ounce of his former anger in his tone; all that remained was a deep, smooth texture and Ness hadn't realized how much she'd missed hearing it until that moment.
"Um, just two scheduled appointments, and one of them is an oil change," she replied.
Jake slowly nodded his head as he reviewed the two service worksheets on her desk before speaking, "Those won't take long at all. Looks like it's gonna be a slow day for us."
Us, the word rang through Ness' mind after he'd said it, and it continued for hours, long after he'd left her side to head out to the garage. It had been so long since he'd referred to the two of them as Us. Even if it wasn't said in the context she'd hoped for, it had still been nice to hear.
…
As the rest of the week and the one following went by, the situation between Jake and Ness remained much the same. Each morning they greeted each other and spoke of items pertaining to the shop. Jacob was friendly and smiled often, but Ness could sense that he was still guarded. They ate lunch separately and each evening he would wish her a nice night before driving off. He kept things strictly professional, and it was driving Ness crazy.
She knew she shouldn't expect miracles, and Claire constantly reassured her that they were on the right track. But each day that passed with them going their separate ways tore at her fragile heart.
She was thankful that Jake had moved past his anger, but she longed for him. She missed his gentle words, his soft caresses, and his sweet kisses. Although she'd thought of Jake often during their time apart, she hadn't let herself think about their one night together. But now that she was back, seeing him almost daily, it consumed her mind.
A week and a half had gone by since he'd first started speaking to her again and she didn't know how much longer she could take the polite professionalism he was offering. Something had to change, fast.
…
Jake was under the hood of the '96 Acura Integra he'd been working on for the past two days. He was trying to focus on the car to keep his mind from straying to other things; but it was difficult and he found himself slipping often.
He was just starting to check out the hydraulic system when he slipped again, her laugh rang through his head and he could see her face in his mind's eye and how her laughter made the corners of her eyes crinkle. It had been months since he'd made her laugh and a part of him was desperate for it.
Although he'd been courteous to her over the past week and a half, something was holding him back from taking it further. Some deeply seeded sense of self-preservation was stopping him, afraid of the what-ifs, of getting hurt again. And he just didn't know how to overcome it.
But he knew if he continued down this path, he'd slowly drive himself crazy. Every morning when he entered the office, the scent of strawberries assaulted him; that scent stayed with him the rest of the day and hours after leaving the shop at night. Looking at her was something else entirely and if he stared too long, he'd start to feel that same electrical current building between them.
There was something between them, it was undeniable and he was growing weary of fighting it. But he didn't know how to make the transition. All he knew was that something had to change, fast.
…
Later that afternoon, Ness made a decision. She was tired of waiting by the sidelines for Jake to make a move and she was tired of being afraid of setting off his anger. She knew what she wanted and if she had any hope of getting it, she'd have to go after it.
Her mind made up, Ness got up from her chair in the office and walked out to the garage. She hardly ever ventured out there, it was Jake's domain and she was okay with that. But she knew if she didn't go to him, he wasn't going to come to her.
She spotted his legs sprawled out from under the car that had been brought in that morning and she approached carefully, not wanting to trip in her wedge sandals. When she reached the side of the car she stopped and cleared her throat before calling his name.
Jake hadn't heard her approach over the music coming from the small radio on the workbench to his left, but he heard his name. Ness typically didn't interrupt him during that day so he had no idea what she could want.
He wheeled himself out from under the car and looked in her direction. He was still flat on his back on the creeper and his eyes had quite a ways to travel before finding hers, but he didn't mind the journey in the least.
She looked good, standing there in jeans and a tight fitting, red sweater, and Jake felt his throat go dry as his eyes met hers. There was a look in her eyes that he didn't recognize and for a moment, he felt self-conscious.
He slowly sat up as he began to speak, "Hey Ness, what's up?"
She smiled and his eyes locked on her mouth as she spoke, "I was just gonna head out and pick up something for lunch and thought I'd ask if you wanted anything."
Her lips were perfectly pink and full and he remembered with shocking clarity what they felt like pressed against his. He considered her question and thought to himself, there's something I want, but it's not food.
Jake mentally shook himself, trying to concentrate, but it was hard, both figuratively and literally. These feelings had been sneaking up on him more and more lately, but he was afraid of what they would lead to. So he'd brush them off using the fact that he hadn't been with a woman in over six months as an excuse. He rationalized it, telling himself that just about any woman would turn him on right now. But the sexual tension winding its way through his body was slowly driving him crazy.
He shook himself again before he was able to answer, "Um, no thanks, I'm good."
He started to lay back down, desperately wanting to disappear back under the car and get himself under control, but she stopped him by placing a hand on his shoulder. Immediately he felt the electric current build and Ness quickly dropped her hand.
She smiled nervously and didn't try to touch him again as she spoke, "C'mon Jake, just one lunch…please?"
That was all it took for Jake to give in.
…
Twenty minutes later, Ness returned to the shop with two sandwiches from the diner for her and Jake's lunch. She was pleased, it had taken some convincing, but Jacob had grudgingly agreed to have lunch with her in the end.
She placed the sandwiches on the small, round table in the back room of the shop. Just as she pulled two bottles of water from the fridge, she heard footsteps getting closer and she turned, just in time to see Jake walk through the door.
He smiled at her as he raised his hand and ran it through his disheveled hair. Ness nodded back and turned to take a seat at the table. After a moment, Jake approached and took the seat across from her.
"Thanks for uh…this," Jake said as he unwrapped his sandwich and set it on the paper plate Ness had set out.
"You're welcome. I mean, we both have to eat, right?"
"Yeah," Jake said, letting out a short laugh.
Neither of them said anything more for a long while after that, choosing to eat in silence instead. Ness concentrated on her lunch, completely content to be sitting in silence with Jacob.
Jake on the other hand was on edge, he wasn't sure what to say or do. He tried to focus on his lunch, but he couldn't help sneaking glances at Ness every-so-often.
He thought he was being covert, but Ness knew. She could feel his eyes on her every time he looked her way. She felt her body respond to each look, coiling tightly in anticipation. He can look all he wants, she thought.
That thought made her blush and although her head was tilted down, Jake noticed, and he remembered how much he'd liked her blushes in the past.
It had been months since he'd been this close to Ness for an extended period of time and he felt as if his body's reaction was automatic; as if he had no control.
But as he considered that, he realized that it didn't bother him anymore. He was simply tired of fighting and denying himself.
At that moment, Jake made the decision to just let things happen. He didn't know what the future would bring, but for the first time in months, he felt like he was on the right track.
…
The rest of the day flew by in a blur for Ness, she was riding high from her lunch with Jake and she didn't know when she'd come down; and that was just fine with her.
At five o'clock, it was time to shut down for the day and head home. She went about the office, straightening up after she'd shut her computer down. Once everything was in its place, she switched the lights off, headed out the door and locked up.
Jake was just locking up the bay doors at the same time and after they were secured, he made his way over to Ness.
"Headin' home?" He asked as he approached.
His question made Ness smile, typically at the end of the day Jake just gave a curt nod and wished her a good night, so it took her a moment to answer. "Um…yeah. I've got a date with the DVR,"
She'd meant it as a joke, but when she'd said the word date, she'd noticed the way Jake's eyes had widened and she mentally kicked herself. Clearly it was too soon to make those sorts of jokes.
But once Jake understood, he let out an awkward laugh. "Well, sounds like a full night."
Ness just gave a short nod in response as they both turned and started towards their vehicles.
Ness reached her car, unlocked her door, and got in. Before she started it up, she looked back over towards Jake. He was standing by his bike, helmet in hand, looking back at her.
She waved and he smiled back before getting on his bike. Ness gave herself a moment to reflect on the day, it had been unbelievable and she felt like so much progress had been made. All-in-all it was a great day.
She smiled to herself one last time before she attempted to start her car…and failed. She heard the engine crank, but it didn't turn over. She stopped, gave it a second, tried again, and got the same result. "Shit," she exclaimed out load as she hit the steering wheel.
She was just thinking of what she should do when a knock on her window startled her. She looked to her left to see Jacob standing by her car door, and all of her frustrations melted away.
Ness grabbed her purse, opened her door, and exited the car.
Standing beside Jake, she looked up to find him smiling down at her, "car trouble?"
"Yeah," she replied, unintentionally pouting. "I don't know what's wrong. It was fine this morning."
The car was a white Mitsubishi Lancer, Jake wasn't sure what year but it certainly looked like it had seen better days. "Well, lucky for you, you got stranded with a mechanic huh?" Jake asked giving her a wink.
"Pop the hood and I'll take a look," he said as he began removing his jacket.
Ness nodded and opened the front door so she could pop the hood for Jake, but just as she bent to reach the lever she felt rain drops on her neck.
Standing back up quickly, Ness looked towards the sky and felt the drops hit her face just as Jake spoke,
"well shit, wasn't expecting that."
He quickly put his jacket back on as he spoke again, "Looks like we may have to leave your car here tonight, I can give you a ride home."
Ness started to respond, but she quickly remembered that a ride with Jake meant riding on his bike…in the rain.
She looked up at him hesitantly, she knew her car wasn't going anywhere, but she was worried. "Is it safe?"
Jake scoffed, "Safe? Of course it's safe. You've ridden on it before."
"No, I mean, because of the rain," she responded.
"Sure it's safe. The rain drops might sting a little, but it's not raining hard enough to make it dangerous. But if we wait around, I don't know how much longer that'll be the case."
Ness took another second to contemplate, biting her bottom lip before responding, "Okay, I guess I don't have any other options."
"Ness, look at me," Jake implored and she did as he said, looking up into his dark eyes. "I promise to keep you safe, okay?"
He was staring down at her so intently and all Ness could do was nod.
Within five minutes she was sitting astride Jake's bike, holding onto him for dear life as he sped down the road.
Although she was scarred, her close proximity to Jake was making the ride a lot easier. With her arms wrapped around his waist and her head tucked into his shoulder, she felt safer than she had in months and that knowledge made her squeeze a little tighter.
Jake felt her hold tighten and it caused his pulse to quicken as he drove the familiar path to her house. Over the past few months, he'd avoided this area like the plague because of the memories it stirred. But with Ness wrapped tight around him, the memories didn't sting this time.
Her close proximity was making it hard to concentrate on the road though. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist and he could feel her breasts pressing against his back. It took everything Jake had to stay focused.
Thankfully the drive was short and within ten minutes they were turning onto the path that led to the old white house.
Once they reached the driveway, Jake got as close as he could to the front door. The rain had stayed light, but one glance towards the sky told him that wasn't going to last long.
As soon as they came to a stop, Jake steadied the bike and dropped the kickstand. He straightened up and felt Ness remove her arms from his waist as she prepared to get off. She went slowly, her right hand holding onto his shoulder for support. But it wasn't slow enough for Jake and all too quickly her hold was gone.
Still sitting on the bike, his eyes were level with hers and he looked directly into them as he spoke, "See, I told you I'd keep ya safe."
Her answering smile was wide and reached her eyes, lighting up her entire face and Jacob was overwhelmed in that instant with the need to kiss her.
His eyes traveled to her mouth as he involuntarily licked his lips in anticipation. It was almost too much for him to take and he felt as if he'd go mad if he didn't touch her.
Just do it, he told himself. And he was going to, until he saw Ness wave her hand in front of his face.
Jake snapped his eyes back up to hers and all of a sudden, he could think again.
"Are you okay Jake? I said your name twice…" Ness starred back at him, a worried expression on her face.
He couldn't explain what had happened, it was as if a fog had settled around him and all he could do, all he could focus on was Ness, "Yeah, um, sorry about that…I just got…distracted."
"Oookaaay, well, I was just asking if you wanted to come in for a sec?"
Jake hesitated for a moment before answering. A part of him, a big part, wanted nothing more than to come in. But another part, the rational part, realized that he couldn't control himself around her. It was like he had gone from one extreme to the other and back again. First, he couldn't control his desire, then he couldn't control his anger, and now he was back to not being able to control his desire again.
He didn't know what it was about Ness that made him lose it, but he knew he wasn't ready to give in. They had jumped in so quickly the last time, too quickly…without even knowing each other. Jake wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.
With that in mind, he had his answer, "I'd like to…but I really have to get home. Billy's expecting me…it's uh – my night to pick up dinner."
Once the words were out, he could tell they hadn't been what Ness had wanted to hear, but he knew it was for the best.
"Okay, sure. Thanks for the ride," she said as she turned to walk up the front steps.
But before she'd taken the first step Jake spoke again, "No problem, I'll be back first thing in the morning."
Ness turned around quickly, a puzzled look in her eyes.
"Your car…at the shop…remember? I can't let you walk to work, can I?"
"Oh yeah," she replied, "I just…forgot for a second. A ride would be great."
Jake gave a short nod in agreement and watched as Ness turned away again and made her way up the front porch steps. And he kept watching as she unlocked and opened the door. Before she disappeared inside, she turned one last time and gave a small wave, and then she was gone.
…
The following afternoon, Ness sat at her desk inputting a supply order to their distributor in Seattle. It was slow for a Friday and she'd been counting down the minutes for the past hour. She was waiting for noon, for lunch time, so she could go out to the garage and talk to Jake without feeling guilty for slacking off at work.
That morning, Jake had shown up at her house just as he'd said he would the night before. But what made it all the more perfect for Ness was the fact the he'd driven his truck, even though the rain had passed early the night before.
The ride to the shop had been pleasant. Jake asked about her night and she about his. It had lasted only a short ten minutes before they'd reached the shop and Ness was forced to stay inside the small office, so close yet so far from Jake.
But lunch time was all hers, she could go out to the garage and spend the next half hour with him. And she wouldn't even have to make up an excuse as to why she was out there because it was her car he was currently working on.
The only other time she'd seen him that morning was when he'd come into the shop to let her know he was going to start working on it. She'd tried to protest, saying he should focus on the customers first, but he'd let her know that the other cars he'd been working on were done, and she couldn't argue anymore.
Just as she finished inputting the last of the supplies and emailed the request to her contact, the little clock in the bottom right corner of her computer screen showed 12:00, finally, she thought exasperatedly.
She quickly stood up and walked to the back room where she grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge before making her way out to the garage.
She stepped out and her eyes immediately sought out Jake, and found him bent over at the waist, inspecting something under the hood of her car.
He was standing with his legs slightly apart; his blue coveralls were pulled only half way up his long body, the top portion hanging down from his waist.
She approached slowly, setting the bottles of water on the workbench and taking him in as she did. When she reached the side of the car and was within his sight, she spoke, "How's it lookin?"
Jake had heard the door to the shop open and close and the sound of her footsteps as she approached, so her voice didn't startle him as it had the day before.
He quickly finished tightening the nut he'd just fastened before he replied, "Not bad," He pulled the towel from the back pocket of his coveralls, wiping his hands clean as he rose from under the hood. "The fuel pump needed to be replaced, so I took care of that. You also needed an oil change. How long's it been since your last one?"
Ness was grateful that Jake was such a good mechanic, but it also made her embarrassed to admit her lack of knowledge when it came to pretty much all things mechanical. "Um, well…I can't say I've had one since I got the car."
Jake let out a bark of laughter at that, "Seriously? I mean, I know you're not good with cars, but I figured you'd at least know that regular oil changes are important."
His laughter and the amusement in his eyes instantly put Ness on the defensive, "Well forgive me for not living up to your expectations," she snapped back.
Her indignant tone had Jake laughing again, harder this time.
"Well I certainly didn't come out here to get teased and laughed at. I'll just leave you to it," she said as she started to turn.
But before she could walk off Jake grabbed her arm. His fingers wrapped tightly around it and Ness looked back at him as he spoke, "calm down Ness, I'm just messin' with you."
She didn't respond with words, but she gave a curt nod and with that, Jake dropped his hand.
Ness turned back towards Jake and the car and found him starring down at her. He still wore a slightly amused smile, but she didn't let it bother her. Instead, she offered a suggestion.
"Okay then, instead of making fun of my lack of knowledge, why don't you do something beneficial and show me."
Jakes expression changed from amused to questioning as he asked, "Show you what? How to do an oil change?"
"Yes Mr. all knowing car god," she replied. "Show me how to change my oil."
Jake offered her a wry smile and said, "Okay, you're on."
…
"Dammit Ness." Jake shouted for the third time in the past ten minutes. This time because Ness pulled out the drain plug too quickly and oil began spraying everywhere.
"I'm sorry," Ness squealed as she held her hands in front of her trying to stop the offending oil from splattering all over her clothes as Jake tried to stop the spray all together.
"Okay," Jake said after another few seconds, "I got it to stop…But," he paused to wipe his face and hands with the towel from his back pocket and then looked back at Ness as he continued to speak, "I think we've both had enough for one day."
Ness tried not to let her pride get the best of her and nodded in acceptance, "Okay, I guess you're right. And my clothes are pretty much ruined. Cars just don't seem to be my thing."
Jake tried not to laugh, he really did. But Ness looked too funny standing in front of him, covered in oil, pouting. He lasted just a few seconds before he burst into hysterical laughter.
Ness wanted to be offended, but the situation really was funny. And on top of that, Jacob was laughing, really laughing. It sounded so good to her ears and she couldn't help but join in.
She laughed so hard tears came to her eyes and she quickly reached up to wipe them away.
Jake laughed until he couldn't laugh anymore and then he noticed Ness.
She stood in front of him; her eyes were still dancing with amusement; she looked beautiful. Starring at her made his throat go dry and he swallowed, trying to clear it before he spoke.
"Ness, you um…you've got some oil, um…on your cheek."
"Where?" She asked as she reached up to wipe it away. But instead of wiping it off she just smeared it.
"Here," Jake said as he took his rag and gently wiped away the oil from her cheek.
But even after it was gone he didn't drop his hand. He held it there, desperately wanting to cup her cheek in his hand, tilt her face up, and kiss her. The need was almost overpowering.
Almost…but not quite. They were both still at work and they had hours to go before the end of the day. It wouldn't be good for either of them to start something here.
With that in mind, Jake dropped his hand and took a step back. He smiled sheepishly and ran his hand through his hair as he spoke again. "We should be getting back to work. You uh – there's an extra pair of coveralls in the workbench if you want to cover up."
Ness looked down at herself for the first time and gasped, she was almost completely covered in oil. There would be no saving these clothes. Even so, she wouldn't change a second of it if she had it to do over again.
"Yeah, I guess I should put them on, in case a customer comes in or something," she said as she walked over to the workbench to retrieve the coveralls.
She quickly found them and threw them over her shoulder before heading to the door that led to the office.
Jake watched each move she made. Even covered in oil she was breathtaking. He knew they had to get back to work, and that she'd only be in the office, but it seemed so far.
Before he realized it, he was saying her name, "Ness."
He watched her stop and turn to face him again, raising her eyebrows in question.
"I uh…I just wanted to know if you were planning on coming to Rachel's for dinner tomorrow night. It's supposed to be a make-up for uh – last time."
"Claire told me about it…but I wasn't planning on going," she replied.
Her response surprised Jake, "why not?"
Ness gave a short laugh before she spoke, "do I have to remind you of the last dinner I showed up at?"
Jake winced and quickly made his way over to her side, "Ness, I was an ass last time, I wasn't thinking clearly…I'm sorry for that."
"You don't have to apolo-."
Jake didn't give Ness a chance to finish her sentence before interrupting, "Yes I do…I'm sorry…and I want you to come tomorrow. Please say you will."
He held her gaze with his, not letting her break it until she answered, "Okay, I'll come."
…
Later that night as he sat on the bed in his room, Jake contemplated the last few weeks and few days in particular. It took him a while, but he'd finally realized that everything he'd liked about Ness, everything that had attracted him to her before, was still there.
He was finally ready to take the next step.
He still thought they should take it slow, but he knew where he eventually wanted to be. They'd both be at his sisters the next night…and if things went as well as they'd been going and he felt like kissing her, he'd kiss her.
For the first time in a long time, he fell asleep thinking the next day was gonna be a great one.
…
He'd been wrong…he'd never been more wrong in his life and he felt as if he were in hell. He'd shown up at his sister's house a little later than he'd expected after spending far too long picking out an outfit. He told himself it was just because he wanted all of his friends to see he was making an effort to come out of the social comma he'd been in. But a little voice in his head kept whispering that the real reason he was trying so hard was because Ness would be there.
In addition to wearing a nice pair of jeans with no grease stains and a black, collared, button down shirt, he also put some product in his hair, which he hardly ever did. It had been a few months since he'd gotten it cut and it just wouldn't behave without the gel. Finally after over an hour of primping, he'd headed to his sister's house, more excited than he'd been in months. The feeling hadn't lasted long though; all of twelve minutes to be exact, and it was all because of one person.
When he got to Paul and Rachel's house, he'd let himself in as usual. But before he'd even gotten out a hello, he'd felt a pair of soft lips press against his and a set of arms wrap themselves around his waist. All he'd been able do was blink in surprise for a few seconds as he tried to focus. He'd known it wasn't Ness who'd wrapped herself around him, her sent and taste was unforgettable. But as the person who'd kissed him disengaged from his lips, his vision had focused and he saw two things immediately.
One, the woman who'd pressed herself against him, who'd kissed him before even saying hello, was someone he hadn't planned on seeing for a very long time, if ever again.
Two, Ness was seated on the couch opposite him, and he knew she'd seen the kiss. Jake didn't have anything to hide, and he knew he didn't owe Ness any explanations…But the sad, hopeless look on her face made his chest ache.
It was those reasons that he felt as if he were in hell.
"Hey you, long time no see." He heard the words, but they didn't make sense. He was having a hard time comprehending anything as he looked at Ness. She'd dropped her head quickly when she saw him looking at her and he noticed her brush her eyes with the back of her hand. Is she crying? He thought to himself.
At that moment, he felt the arms that were wrapped around his waist grasp him tighter and he looked down slightly into the eyes of the woman in front of him. "Hello Leah," he said in a flat voice.
"Aren't you happy to see me?" Leah asked.
Jakes eyes moved between Leah and Ness. He didn't know what to do or say. He noticed for the first time that there were others in the room besides he, Leah and Ness; Jarrod and Kim, Paul, Emily and Sam and Quil to be exact. He noticed as a few of them looked back and forth between him and Leah and Ness as well, most of them looking just as trapped as he felt.
Thankfully, before he made a fool of himself, he saw Claire enter the room. "Leah," she started, "I need your help in the kitchen. I'm trying to make your famous mac and cheese balls and I can't get them to stay together."
To Jake, time felt as if it had been going by in slow motion, but in reality, the entire exchange had lasted less than a minute.
At Claire's urging for help, Jake felt Leah remove her arms from around his waist, but before following Claire into the kitchen, she gave him a very intense gaze and he knew he hadn't seen the last of her. As she turned away, Jake looked over her shoulder at Claire and gave her the most appreciative smile he could muster. He'd been horrible to Claire over the past few weeks and he felt like even more of an ass now. She'd always been a friend to him. All she wanted was for him to be happy; he saw that now.
Once Leah and Claire disappeared into the kitchen, Paul decided it was time for him to jump in and make things better, "well, that wasn't awkward at all, was it?"
No one else said anything, and Jacob gave Paul such a scathing look he didn't dare say anything else. But when he looked at Ness, he saw that she was still starring at the floor, sitting stiffly on the coach beside Emily. He made his way over to her and bent down slowly to whisper in her ear, "Can I talk to you outside please?"
He waited for her to respond and after a moment she nodded in agreement. He straightened up and Ness followed; both turning and walking towards the door in silence.
Once outside, away from the prying ears of his family and friends, Jake started speaking, "Ness, listen…I know you're probably wondering what that was all about in there…and I can explain – "
"Jacob," Ness said, cutting him off, "honestly, you don't have to. You don't owe me anything."
"I know that…I mean…I know I don't have to explain…But I want to," Jake felt more and more desperate with each word he spoke.
"Honestly Jake. I don't know what I was thinking coming here." Ness said as she let out a sigh.
Jake wasn't certain, but he had a feeling that Ness didn't just mean coming to dinner tonight, but coming back to Forks in general. "Don't say that Ness. Maybe – Maybe at first I was upset, but these last couple of weeks…I've changed, you know I have. And the other day, God Ness…the other day I wanted so bad to – "
"Please Jake," Ness said, cutting him off again, "please don't finish what you were going to say. I didn't want to come back here and upset your life. I thought…God; I don't know what I thought. I was so stupid. If you've found someone, I don't want to mess that up."
"No Ness," Jake started, "It's not like that, it's…"
At that moment Jake was interrupted again when someone screamed his name, "JAKE…"
Both Ness and Jake immediately turned towards the house as they saw Quil emerge holding Claire in his arms bridal style while everyone else followed. "What – what's going on?" Both Jake and Ness asked practically in unison.
"Her water broke. Your truck is blocking my car in, I need you to move it so we can get to the hospital man," Quil replied.
Without another word, Jake quickly ran to his truck to back it out of the drive. As Quil walked with Claire to their car, he looked towards Jake and asked, "You'll follow me to the hospital right? I can't do this without you by my side."
Claire smacked him on the side of his head at his comment and asked, "Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?"
"Of course not baby," Quil replied. "You're everything. But – I just need my best friend there."
He looked between Claire and Jake as he spoke and Jake nodded, "Of course man. I'll meet ya there," he said as he hopped into the cab of his truck.
He backed out and then put his truck in drive and floored it, not wanting to waste any time. His best friend was having a baby and he was unbelievably happy for him. As he drove, he thought back to when they were younger and he'd first realized that Claire was in love with Quil…and now they were gonna be parents. It made him contemplate his own life, and if he'd ever get the chance to experience parenthood. At that thought, Ness suddenly popped into his mind and he remembered…Shit, I just left her standing there…FUCK!
A/N: I hope everyone liked it and now that you're done I just want to say this: I appreciate every review I get. I'm sorry if I didn't respond to all of the reviews that came in for the last chapter, but with everything going on, this story took a back seat. But just to show how much I do appreciate all of my reviews, for the next chapter I'm going to try and take the advice of one of my faithful reviewers and write it in Jacob's POV. I'm really excited about it. Until next time