I truly am sorry it has been so long. The absence was with both invalid and valid reasons. I was lazy, then rewrote this chapter about a million times, and then my Gram died and I've found it a bit hard to get my head on to write. Just know that I am not nor do I have any intention of abandoning either of my fics. I would also promise a sooner update but I just seem to jinx myself when I do so, so I will simply say I'll try better for next time and hope that that does the trick.
This chapter turned into some monster, let me tell you. This is by far the longest chapter I've ever written. A slight appeasement for my absence?
Reviewers you are the bees knees: Stella, ..again, one-six, PrescottandLovelessInc, EmilyFitch8D, maudsfeather, stphnyvillegas, lalalalee, goshtperfect, catlikemouse, shewritesforher, mUfF MuNcHeR, R3dN0te, SevenDevilsInYourHead, Aj, Skinslovah, youmeafismine, Bleep, p, and mardycure – thank you for taking the time to review. I'm always interested in your thoughts.
Naomi's perspective. Please do let me know what you think! I'm always chuffed when that little ping goes off on my phone and it's a review from one of you. *Also I am giving full permission to hound me when it starts to get unreasonably long between updates again. And as always, thanks for reading.
I do not own Skins or Harry Potter, or anything else quite so magical.
Chapter XIII:
..
..
It was doing it again, her right eye. The lower lid was twitching. She rubbed the heel of her hands in her eyes, trying to still them, to rejuvenate them. She told herself she needed to eat a banana, a bit of potassium would do the trick, but deep down she suspected it was stress. Naomi would never admit it but things were catching up to her. Extra class, double practices, the approach of exams, studying for her O.W.L.S, and prefect duties on top; she was feeling the strain. Silently it piled, and silently she'd go down with her overburdened ship before ever saying when. Suddenly she had a new found appreciation for Professor McGonagall talking her out of applying for a time turner in third year, which she would have needed if she hadn't cut down her class load.
She didn't even have much time to dwell on Emily and what that all meant. Not that she didn't think about the redhead, quite the opposite in fact, she just didn't have the time to properly over analyze. It was to the point where she had even contemplated attempting a sleeping potion – squeeze some extra hours out of the day. Who needed sleep anyway?
It was a brisk yet seasonally mild day that Naomi walked back from the Quidditch pitch beside Cook. She was feeling good after their win over Ravenclaw, until she thought of all the work she still had to do.
"Apples and pears, apples and pears!" Cook sang out cheerily as he bopped down the hall next to a more subdued Naomi.
"Naomi."
The two turned to see Emily Fitch approach. Both Naomi and Cook watched the Gryffindor approach with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.
"Here," the redhead said almost sheepishly holding out some papers for Naomi. "It's the notes on what you missed at the end of herbology yesterday." She explained as Naomi took the offered papers. On Friday they had had a double herbology lesson, which conflicted with a last minute Quidditch practice. Professor Longbottom had been kind enough to let the Slytherin players duck out early. Emily agreed to Naomi borrowing her notes so she wouldn't fall behind.
"Oh," Naomi said, slightly surprised, "Thanks."
"Figured I might not see you before Monday, so…this way you're caught up before the lab."
"Right, well thanks…" Naomi smiled. Cooked watched the interaction silently.
"I would say nice match and all but, you know," Emily said through a quirked smile pointing to herself, "Gryffindor."
"Right," Naomi laughed, "Well I'll just take that as a compliment."
"Of course you would," Emily rolled her eyes looking amused.
"So do you reckon the exam will be lab or written?" Naomi asked after a moment, inspecting the first page of notes, extending the conversation.
"Duno," Emily pondered aloud, "But if we've got to be paired up for it I hope for my sake its written…lab with you…I might lose an eye, never mind my grade." She said cheekily.
"Oi!" Naomi exclaimed giving Emily a playful shove on the shoulder. "Hey now, that was not my fault, for the last time. It was a slippery bugger – and it bit me! How was I to know it was countering a full scale attack?"
"My vision was blurry for a week in that eye I'll have you know."
"Oh you're exaggerating."
"And you and your 'battle wound' wasn't an exaggeration?" Emily bantered back.
"It turned green!" Naomi grinned, "I thought my hand was going to fall off."
They were both laughing at this point, recounting a particularly lively herbology lab including a rogue fanged geranium. It had bitten Naomi causing her to drop it and it spit into Emily's eye when she went to make a grab for it.
"Anyway," Emily sighed, "I think I'd rather a second go with that fanged geranium than the thought of being stuck in the same room as Katie all of Holiday."
"But you're in the same dormitory as her here, are you not?" Naomi asked.
"Well yeah, but its not just the two of us here, and its bigger. Ironically I get more privacy in a room of five." She half laughed half sighed. "Safety in numbers I guess. Sometimes I just wish I'd stay for holiday."
"So why don't you?" Naomi asked before quickly adding, "I mean if you want to, why don't you then?"
"Can't," Emily shrugged, "We always go home."
"Not always," Naomi pointed out, casting her eyes down. She didn't know why she brought that up. She never brought that up.
"True," Emily said, a small sad smile playing on her lips. "But that was an exception, it's tradition and all that," she sighed. "Can't say I've ever had a quieter, or nicer holiday than that exception though." She looked Naomi in the eye; Naomi held the smaller girls gaze for a moment before looking back down at the floor.
"Ah well, you'd probably just get suckered into prefect duties if you stayed," Naomi changed the focus of conversation.
Emily let her. She laughed. "Probably, some holiday that'd be," she added, catching Naomi's eye again.
"Yeah," Naomi said, "rubbish," she added with a side smile.
Emily looked behind the blonde and cleared her throat, "Right well, I'll let you get back to it – I'm sure you've got celebrating to do – just wanted to get those to you." She said tapping the papers in Naomi's hand.
"Oh, yeah 'course." Naomi said, "Well, thanks again."
"Anytime," Emily smiled before turning back the way she had came.
Naomi turned around surprised to see Cook. She had forgotten he was there. Emily Fitch was dangerous like that.
"You done with your little prefect powwow session or what?" He had his arms crossed.
"You got your knickers in a twist or something?" Naomi tossed back.
"Not wearin' any," he winked, "wanna see?"
She ignored his offer and they resumed their walk toward the depths of the castle. Cook picked up his little victory jingle as they went, "Apples and pears! Get your apples and pears!"
She had no idea what he was prattling on about, but she didn't ask. It was either nonsense or she didn't want to know. She was also too preoccupied staring at the notes Emily had handed her, admiring the neat loopy handwriting.
"Where ya goin'?" Cook asked as she continued on toward the dungeons as he faced toward the kitchens. "We've got ter get supplies for the victory bash. I've got a reputation to uphold." He added with his trademark smirk, a winning combination of faux-innocence and a hint of filth.
"You're going to have to count me out on this one Cookie," she said apologetically. His face fell.
"Oh, come on Blondie!" He groaned, "We won! An' by more than Gryffindor did Hufflepuff – were in firs' standing. Let's celebrate, 'ave a bit o'fun."
"Can't Cook, I've still got a bunch of coursework to finish, that essay for D.A.D.A., prefect duties…"
He guffawed, "None of that shite again. We just wana partay!" He bellowed hitting the handle of his broom against the wall in emphasis.
"Cook, I said I can't."
"You're hilarious, you know tha'."
"Cook, I'm being serious. I've got way too much to do."
"Blondie, you better be takin' the piss, I swear," Cook shook his head.
"Why are you acting like such a goblin?" Naomi asked somewhat miffed. It wasn't the first time she had passed on his shenanigans for the sake of coursework and it surely wasn't going to be the last.
"What?"
"A goblin," Naomi reiterated. Proud creatures, goblins are, not a difficult task to offend one. "You've been so tetchy lately. You'd think I had just mistaken you for an elf or something. It's just a party mate. I'll do my best to make the next one."
"Yer serious?" Cooked balked. "Best year yet my arse."
"Oh don't start that –"
"No you don't," Cook retorted. "Ya lied to me. You said this was to be the best year yet. And it's not. Because you're ruining it."
"Please, tell me how you really feel," Naomi's tone dripped with loaded sarcasm.
"I'm fookin' serious. Past lessons I barely see you. An when I do yer face is ei'ver in a book, or your mouth is yellin' at me to stop what I'm fookin' doin, or yer walkin' by with Princess fookin' Potter off to some super important prefect bullshit." Cook exclaimed. "You are ruining our fifth year. You an' all yer bullshit. But if tha' makes me the goblin, if tha's me, s'fine. But what's that make you then, darlin'?"
Naomi was silent for a beat. His words hit like a punch. But the silence wasn't from the hurt she felt. It elapsed the time it would take to wind up your fist to properly throw all your weight behind it. Her words sharply arranged themselves into sentences. They were so different, the two of them. Sometimes they were too similar. Fire with fire. Hurt for hurt.
"Oh, I'm sorry I don't spend all my time pouncing around. For fucks sake I have responsibilities Cook. I take things seriously. I want to do well – no – I want to do better than that. But sorry if I'm fucking up your grand plans of fuck all."
"Watch out Blondie," Cook threw back, "I'm 'bout all you got. More books than friends innit? Keep this up, that'll be all you got."
"What is that a threat?" Naomi scoffed. "You going to disown me are you?"
"I'm not the one who's leavin', babe."
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, nothing," Cook farced, "Why don'tcha go fook your little Princess Potter why don't ya? Seems yer able to make time for her at least."
There it was. All their little spats of the term, dances and spars, all preludes to this. Cook didn't like having to share Naomi with all of this prefect business, let alone another person. Emily Fitch had become the face of what was stealing his best mate away. He had been looking forward to the Holiday when this nonsense could stop and they could go back to how they were. Emily mentioning even the thought of staying had lit him up. Holiday was for Cook and Naomi no one else really mattered. They were a cross between each others champion and each others kryptonite. But at the moment they were just cross.
"Fuck off Cook!"
He gave a parting hip thrust in her direction as he walked backwards and disappeared around the corner towards the kitchens.
She stood there for a moment, washed in anger. "Fucking tosser," she grumbled to herself.
"I wouldn't expect such language from a Prefect." She heard from behind her. She shut her eyes. Perfect. Just fucking perfect. She turned around as she let out a tired breath. She was at the end of her rope; her frayed taut rope, and she was losing her grip.
"Sorry Professor," Naomi grimaced more so than smiled. She didn't have the energy for this. "Wasn't meant for anyone's ears."
"Never the less," Professor Nodweller said, "I think five points from Slytherin is just."
She balked. Was he serious? It's not as if she had called him a fucking tosser, though she was grateful he wasn't skilled in occulmency or she was sure it would be quite a few more points than five.
"Not the type of thoughts a Prefect should have in general though, wouldn't you say?"
Naomi was silent. Obviously she wouldn't say, as she had just said those words herself. But she knew herself well enough to know that she was better off staying silent in this instance.
"On another excursion?" He questioned.
"Pardon?" Naomi's brow furrowed.
"Some extracurricular exploration to the kitchens? Or perhaps attempting to discover Hufflepuff's entrance?"
Her brow knit further together. What was he on about? Her and Cook had gone down a staircase that put them about equal distance between the dungeons and the kitchen or rather between Slytherin and Hufflepuff. And she already knew where Hufflepuff's entrance was. "
Why would I be looking for the kitchens or Hufflepuff dormitory, Professor? "
"I find you wandering the corridors down here alone, it's a fair deduction," he replied slickly.
"I'm headed to my dormitory, you know down here, by the dungeons."
The look Professor Nodweller gave her made her eyes narrow.
"The flaws of Slytherin," he tutted, "always such feelings of entitlement."
Naomi clenched her jaw, turned on her heel and walked away.
"Ms. Campbell it is rude to turn your back on someone who is speaking to you, especially to a Professor, mind you. Didn't your parents ever teach you manners? Or rather should I say, didn't your Mother?
She didn't even acknowledge that she'd heard him, though her knuckles were white beneath her robes in a tight grip on her wand. Deserved or not, even she knew better than to jinx a professor. She continued to create distance between him and herself, his words echoing after her, "I think your head of house should be informed of your lack of manners. Another ten points from Slytherin."
She was furious. Who was he to comment on her family life? What did he know? He was just trying to get her to give him a reason to put her in detention and she knew it. She hoped he did mention it to Professor Saar, the head of Slytherin. She had a reputation for being severe, even by McGonagall standards. She loved Naomi.
There were some truly great witches and wizards throughout history that came from Hufflepuff embodying the best attributes of what it meant to be a Hufflepuff. Professor Nodweller was not one of those people, as far as Naomi was concerned. He was a cast away. One of those students not good enough for any house, so he was one of the left overs Helga Hufflepuff had vowed to take in and make her own just the same. He was nothing. Just a man with nothing better to do so he got himself a title at a school so he could feel what it was like to have power.
She walked away before any of this could slip from her mouth and lash him like the curses she repeated in her head. Whatever points he took for her insolence she reasoned she could earn back in other lessons, you can't come back from expulsion.
..
The noise was overbearing. Naomi had entered the common room to be blast with the universal noise of a party. Cook, good to his word, had got one going full swing in record time. Partly, she suspected, just to piss her off. Naomi fought her way through the raging party, pushing past people on her way to the girls' dormitory. The mass amount of bodies in between her and her goal destination only added to her agitation. Finally she kicked open the wooden door to the fifth year girls dorm.
Naomi felt as if she would burst. She threw her bag down in frustration, some of its contents spilling out. With a huff she leant down to pick up the abused items. Emily's notes were spilt across the floor. Angrily she picked them up, throwing the sheets of parchment haphazardly onto her bed.
She paused when she noticed a stray bit of parchment – a note that Emily must have tucked within the pages.
I had a quick quotes quill copy my notes over, so keep them.
Right, Naomi thought to herself, well that saved her the trouble of copying them herself. She flipped the note over for some reason.
Nice flying – for a Slytherin ;-)
Her brow furrowed as her lips twitched a half smile. She read the back of the note again, and again.
Quickly she rummaged through her bag until she found her herbology notebook. She flipped through it until she found what she had been searching for. She stared at it a moment, looking at it skeptically before cradling it in her hands. She took a deep breath before looking up to meet her own eyes reflection of the mirror as she slowly exhaled. It was just a spare bit of parchment to anyone else. She sized herself up for a moment before giving in. She grabbed a quill, meeting her own blue gaze one more time she scrawled a short message.
Can we go somewhere?
Her precise handwriting spelled out before vanishing. She sighed, and stared at the blank page.
Where?
Appeared a moment later in neat bubbly handwriting.
Anywhere.
..
Emily slid a spare bit of parchment in front of Naomi. The blonde shot her a quizzical look. It was a lecture day in class and Professor Longbottom was going on about Screechsnaps. She had her own notebook out in front of her already. She went to slide it back only to have Emily place her hand on top of her own, halting her movement and pushing it back at the girl. She nodded toward it again. Naomi looked down at it to discover a message had appeared across it.
Keep it you twit.
Naomi's brow furrowed before raising an eyebrow. She watched Emily lean over a similar bit of parchment and begin to write. She looked at her now blank parchment to see a new line appear.
Well, write back will you?
She stared at it until it vanished, looking up see an expectant Emily. Naomi took her quill in her hand and with a nod of encouragement from Emily began to write on her once again blank parchment.
What is this?
Emily smiled with a roll of her eyes.
A note, what's it look like?
..
..
Naomi paced in the corridor around the bend from the entrance of the great hall, her brow in its seemingly permanent crease. Her fingers worried the gold band on her finger with an equal amount of fervor her feet wore a path into the stone floor. If cartoons were real, she would be about half way to China by now.
Bright red hair popped from around the bend. "You would think you were the one waiting for me." Emily said cheekily before disappearing around the bend again. "Come on you." Naomi heard her call from a bit further away.
Emily was waiting leaned against the grand entranceway. A small smile graced her lips as Naomi finally came into view. The redhead pushed off the stone archway by her shoulders and made her way out the doors.
Once outside, Emily stopped and turned to see Naomi still standing in the entranceway. "You coming?" she asked.
"It's raining," Naomi stated.
"Scared you're going to melt?" Emily quipped. It was a challenge and she knew it.
Naomi gave her a scolding look, "No," she folded her arms across her chest much like a pouting child would. Emily smiled at her endearingly.
"Well c'mon then!" Emily said holding her arms out and spinning in the rain. "What are you waiting for?"
The scowl on Naomi's face cracked into a smile despite her best efforts. Naomi watched Emily. She was as lovely as the rain, if not more persistent. She stepped forward to weather whatever Emily had up her sleeve.
..
"Were not going in there…" Naomi stated more so than asked in disbelief.
"Were going in there," Emily replied mocking Naomi's tone, amusedly. She turned around to face the blonde as she said it, before turning again and disappearing into the edge of the forbidden forest.
"You're mad," Naomi hovered at the tree line.
"And you're stalling," Emily said popping back out of the trees. "Get on with it," she added as she took hold of the Slytherin's hand, "before someone sees."
With a gentle tug she guided Naomi into the wood.
"Emily!" Naomi said with earnest after they had traveled a bit. "At least get your wand out."
"Are you always this paranoid?"
"Are you always this reckless?"
Emily continued on with purpose, turning her head back to cast a glance at the blonde. "You just need to know where to go. And where to not."
"Oh right cos the forbidden forest is definitely one of those places to go."
"Parts of it," Emily shrugged gripping Naomi's hand a bit more firmly as she continued to guide the girl further into the wood.
Once Naomi stopped freaking out thinking every sound was something coming to get them she began to take in her surroundings more. They were tiny in this ancient world, the towering trees making them seem infantile by comparison. The trees looked wise though not in the mood for sharing their wisdom as Naomi stepped over roots and around trunks that made her feel her age. Emily led them on a steady course to their right, not straying too far from where the edge of the wood should be, though she could no longer see the grounds in the shadows of the trees.
The Gryffindor seemed confident in the path she was taking. They were silent the rest of the way as Naomi listened to the trees groan and sigh in age like her mother would when she knelt down, creaking and exhaling along the way. The faint patter of raindrops being passed from stubborn leaf to stubborn leaf sounded like the quiet murmur of a theater as the house lights dimmed. Naomi's concentration flickered between keeping a constant vigilance and the feel of Emily's hand firmly around her own.
Emily stopped abruptly causing Naomi to bump into her with an oomph.
"Here," Emily said with satisfaction, giving Naomi a smile and her hand a squeeze as the blonde moved to her side.
"Here?" Naomi questioned. They were in a small clearing no bigger than the goal area of a Quidditch pitch.
"Yes," Emily said still not letting go of the other girl's hand, "here."
Naomi looked around before giving Emily a skeptical look. "You didn't bring me out here to kill me and bury the body did you?" she said, mostly joking.
Emily laughed throwing the other girls hand as she walked toward a particularly knotty large old tree. It was easily three and a half Emily's wide. Naomi smiled to herself at the measurement unit she had just invented as she watched Emily take out her wand and tap the tree, running the tip of her wand down its trunk. Slowly its bark began to fold in on itself revealing a hollow. What in Merlin's beard? Naomi walked forward, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"So I take it you've been here before?" Naomi said, regaining some of her bravado.
"Once or twice," the redhead replied as she half disappeared into the hollow reaching for something.
"Brooms?" Naomi said perplexed. "You are aware we have our own…" she gave the old Clean Sweeps a disdainful look "much better brooms back on the grounds. And could be flying right now, no hike necessary, if that's what you had in mind."
"Always so cheerful," Emily shook her head holding one of the old brooms out to Naomi. "Come on you."
She took hold of the broom and followed Emily again as she ventured out of the clearing, a different way than they had come. Naomi was surprised when she found herself at a waters edge.
"Is this…" Naomi wondered aloud as she took in the waters glossy black surface, "is this the black lake? Are we flying over the water? So you're not killing me in the clearing then?" Naomi added cheekily.
"So many questions," Emily rolled her eyes amusedly. She hopped onto her broom and kicked off. After a moment of staring at a now smaller and smaller Emily, Naomi mounted her own broom and sped off after the girl. Like when the cow jumped over the moon, she was the dish running after the spoon.
Naomi caught up easily. The two looped through the air and around each other over the water.
Flying over the water was wonderfully freeing. The rain had relented to into a mist where the air just felt more real, more tangible. She felt the tension in her body from earlier ease. They rolled in the misty rain, diving loops and carving wide arcs as they flew together. Naomi saw the castle and grounds off in the distance to their right. They neared an island on the lake, Naomi followed as Emily descended toward a small cove on the far side of it.
"This, is where we were going," Emily explained as the two girls gazed about the cove.
The two girls stood quietly side by side taking in the beauty of the cove. Even with the muddling mist, greens and blues dazzled in the filtered refracted light with an even more breathtaking backdrop of water, mountains, and sky.
"It's lovely," Naomi said glancing over at the petite redhead at her side, "It's a lovely place."
"It's one of my favourites."
It was warm for the time of year, that time where it was neither fall nor winter. There was a bite to the air but still no threat of snow. Winter seemed to be stalling itself, perhaps just for this day.
No matter the size of the drop, water is wet, and all the collaborating tiny droplets in the misted sky had effectively soaked them through, like everything else.
"You and Katie come here?" Naomi asked from under the cover of the trees, further back from the beach. They were sat on a blanket Emily had tucked away.
"We used to," Emily explained as she pulled out a small jar, conjuring a small blue flame inside it. "Or well, to the clearing in the forest, anyway. In our first year before we were allowed our own brooms." She placed the jar in front of them both so they could warm up.
"But you were on your team in first year?" Naomi asked stretching her hands out toward the warmth of the flame appreciatively.
"We were, but seeing as we were first years and having brooms was sort of bending the rules McGonagall only allowed it if our head of house was in possession of our brooms when not at practice or a match."
"That seems a bit excessive."
"Yeah well, they seemed to be under the impression we'd try to use them at 'inappropriate' times."
Naomi shot Emily a look, "How misguided of them."
"Yeah well," Emily smirked bumping her shoulder against the blondes.
"But I still don't understand why these ancient things?" Naomi said nodding her head toward the clean sweeps. "With all the rules you broke I find it hard to believe you didn't just nick your own brooms."
Emily laughed. "Don't think we didn't try…Longbottom's got some hefty charms up his sleeve. Lets just say a simple "Alomahora" didn't do the trick. So it was either the clean sweeps or walk."
Naomi laughed, "So what you two just flew around the lake?"
"No," Emily said, "This is my place. I never came here with Katie. We would just stick to the clearing and the forest. Less chance of being seen."
"You flew through the trees?"
Emily shrugged, "We were the first first years in over a generation to make a team. Didn't want to be the first expelled as well."
Naomi laughed, "You're mad." She shook her head, "Merlin, no wonder it's near impossible to knock one of you off your broom…you dodge trees for fun."
Emily gave her a mischievous smirk. "You've got your pong pong balls, I've got my trees."
Naomi laughed not bothering to correct the girl.
"So do you still?"
Emily shrugged. "Not in ages. But I still come here," Emily nodded indicating the cove. "Sometimes when I just want to get away. I never ventured over the water when Katie and I would go to the clearing. And she stopped after our first year. Sometimes I think she's forgotten about it, this place. Suppose she thinks I have as well, you know, seeing as I only do what she does." Emily rolled her eyes.
Naomi really couldn't comprehend how some people still thought of Emily as her sister's shadow. She shone far too brightly to be considered background.
..
The day together turned into night. Emily had managed to start a proper fire once some wood had dried out along with them.
"What are you doing?"
Emily looked up from the spliff she was rolling and gave Naomi a slightly incredulous look that said 'you know exactly what I'm doing.'
Naomi took a swig of fire whiskey, eyeing the spliff disapprovingly. "Emily, I don't know if that's the best idea…" she began.
"Oh come on, you can't tell me you've given up everything you used to do now that you're a prefect."
"No," Naomi relented, "but I'm certainly not aiming to break more rules than I did before."
"Could have fooled me," Emily licked the end of the papers before reaching for her lighter. "Oh don't make me out to be the bad influence here," Emily said after the look she had earned from the blonde. "If I recall it wasn't me who brought the fire whiskey to the very public prefects do," Emily challenged referencing the night they kissed. The spliff was hanging out the side of her smirking mouth.
"Fire whiskey is hardly spliff," Naomi defended. "And besides, no one even saw us."
Emily looked around, "Do you see anyone around to see us now?" Emily questioned, quirking an eyebrow at Naomi as she brought the spliff to life.
Emily stoked the fire a bit, adding another stick to the flame. As she withdrew her hand, she laid it on top of Naomi's. The blonde glanced down at it, a twitch of a smile dashing across her lips and resting in her eyes. It was as if Emily had lit tiny fires on every single atom her tiny hand was touching.
"Do you want to do blowbacks?" Emily asked. Neither looked at each other. That threatening smile took up residence on Naomi's face. For the first time in weeks she wasn't thinking about course work or exams or duties. She wasn't thinking at all, really. She was living.
"I never got blowbacks, why can't people just smoke the damn things straight?" she sassed.
"It's fun." Emily replied. Naomi could hear the smile in her voice. "Have you even tried it?"
"No, but, being all seeing I already know its shit." The Slytherin said cheekily.
"C'mon," Emily said, turning to face the other girl. "Everything once."
"Fuck it," Naomi sighed, turning to face Emily, "Go ahead and disappoint me."
Her heart banged against the framework of her chest as Emily leaned in and placed Naomi's hands along her jaw before sliding her own hands behind Naomi's neck. It was incredibly intimate. She inhaled. The feeling was instantaneous. It was the magical equivalent of being hit by a mac truck of smoke – straight to the head – her head spun, everything spun. It was a magnified feeling of how she felt every time Emily was around her. Funny, how she only felt these sorts of things in Emily's presence. She clutched to the redheads shoulders as she waited for the world to catch up, or for her to catch up to the world, she wasn't sure which. When everything stilled all she saw was Emily.
It was a serious look the blonde gave the girl who had just made her world spin. She leaned forward. She wasn't thinking, this wasn't about thinking. This was about feeling – this was about doing. Whatever hesitation she had left her before lips met lips. In a moment Emily was kissing her back, tilting her axis, spinning her world.
Naomi bit her lip. "Say something?" she breathed.
"I'm all about experiments, me." Her voice was quiet.
Naomi was always acutely aware of the distance between herself and Emily, always. She felt everything as Emily's fingertips ghosted her sides, lifting her jumper. Like the forest fire that they were things went from still to chaos in the time it took to introduce one shirt to another, skin to skin, match to kindling. They were a dry summer day with a steady wind.
Emily's lips blazed a trail down Naomi, ear to jaw, neck to collarbone, sternum to breast. They gulped air between contact of lips to anything, of lips to everything. Even fire needed oxygen.
Naomi gasped as Emily's lips met the line of sensitive skin and cotton. Her hips rose and fell with Emily's touch. She couldn't stand it, it was too much and not enough all at once. Her pulse was jumping flames, her nerves embers dancing. They created smoke signals, not looking to be saved. They told each other important things in the smoke and the haze.
..
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She was a coward. She was every negative you could throw at a Slytherin, just about. She had run. She had run fast and far. She was lucky she didn't get lost. She was lucky nothing happened to Emily, left alone. She tried to rationalize that Emily had gone it alone many times before (she tried not to think about that too). She was lucky Emily ever saw anything in her. She sure as hell didn't see anything in herself at the moment. She tried not to wonder if Emily did now too. She wasn't sure which was more terrifying.
Herbology was excruciating. In some ways she felt she deserved it, in a lot of ways actually, after being that big of a twat she reckoned you deserved some form of discomfort beyond your own conscious and it's mental lashing. Though she knew Emily suffered as well, which was all sorts of injustice. She was also too much of a coward to do anything about it as she stared blankly at the worn wooden table. She traced the lifelines of the wood, smooth and dark from years of use with the tip of her finger. It had been huge. Like the trees in the forest it felt bigger than her – her and Emily, together – felt huge, all encompassing, it was greater than her; she could lose herself in it if she'd let herself. Knowing part of her wanted to might be what scared her most.
It was the most awkward thing, sitting next to Emily in silence. Not the comfortable kind of silence they had shared before mind you, no. There was a heaviness between them now, a different type of tension, it was unyielding. Even breathing had lost its ease, like soot lining the lungs. Before where Naomi would feel every atom at attention, practically buzzing, sitting here next to Emily, now she felt this massive – she felt what she expected the other end of a black hole to feel like, her own guilt sucking her in and crushing her.
The weather seemed to reflect how Naomi felt. Winter had suddenly decided to arrive. A storm had moved in throughout the night. Naomi had eaten her breakfast underneath a petulant sky of a ceiling in the great hall. Now she watched unforgiving freezing rain pelt against greenhouse five's glass ceiling and walls.
The lab had been cancelled due to inclement weather. Instead Professor Longbottom had decided to start them early on their review for exams, bless him. Naomi hadn't looked at the lesson notes Emily had given her past finding the redheads note anyway.
Not a single word was spoken between the two of them. Naomi was scared to even look at her. The one time their eyes had met, it had been brief, and it had sent Naomi instantly back to the bottom of her self created black hole. She doesn't know whom she left for as the lesson ended, whether to feed her own cowardice or in sympathy for Emily. Either way she was out of there like a bat out of hell.
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Naomi wanted to escape the thoughts in her head – Emily, from everything, from Cook, even Effy always staring at her in the common room. So she had hid in the sanctuary that was the stacks of the library. Or at least she had until it closed.
She turned her worn ring out of habit, out of comfort. She inspected the four silverish polished down spots on the otherwise gold ring. The four dots formed a tiny square, like a constellation would. It was a peculiar way for a ring to tarnish, but then she figured it was old and perhaps not the most finely crafted. Then again, her favourite part was the inside anyway, amateur or not. She liked things that were subtle, like Emily. She turned her ring more.
Cook took the empty seat next to Naomi. She wasn't in the mood. She was preoccupied. She was preoccupied and she was still cross with him. They were sat in the nearly deserted Slytherin common room.
"I thought you were disowning me," she fell back on her sarcasm. It was about the only language she felt she still had some semblance of mastery over. Honestly and tact were at least definite no goers for the present.
"More like the ov'er way round, innit?" he replied.
"Cook I'm really not in the mood."
"Yeah well, I'm still mad at you too Blondie," he sighed. "You're breakin' my heart."
"Cook I'm serious, not now," she stated tiredly, dog earring the page of her book that she hadn't been reading for the past two days. She had had enough of breaking hearts she didn't need to deal with adding his to the list.
"There ya go again," he said rubbing his face with both hands.
"I'm so fookin' mad at you Blondie," he said, dropping his hands. They were still for a moment. "Who would'a thought, the clever one an the fook up." He stood. They both lived in the same silent moment for a bit.
"Not my first choice e'va, ya know. S'never the ones you expect is it?" He sighed, "…so stop breakin' mine an I'll stop breakin' yours."
If she had been paying attention she would have realized he was either stone cold sober or on a lot of something for that kind of talk to be coming out of his mouth. But she was preoccupied, so she didn't. As she watched him walk away, her brow sunk deeper into its crease, much like the canyons did with time.
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Naomi paced up and down the corridor inspecting the walls. She knew it was around here somewhere, if she could only find it. After skulking hallways around the Gryffindor entrance she made her way further down the hall as students began to thin out, headed to their dormitories for the night. She ran her hand along the old stones. They always looked a bit dusty and always felt a bit smooth. She stopped. She was certain it was here – or around here.
Then she felt it, what she had been searching for. Her fingers curled into the bit of plain looking wall, disappearing. Silent she stood at the edge of what was real and what was hidden. When she held her breath she heard another.
"Emily," she closed her eyes.
She heard a louder shaky breath. "I'm not going to let you in. My face is all puffy. I've been…crying a bit."
"I don't care." Naomi felt the disappeared tips of her fingers meet something malleable yet solid. Emily had used the protego charm. She didn't blame Emily for not trusting her, for putting up a shield between them. With a sigh Naomi slid down the wall to the floor. Her side slumped against the end of real wall, at the edge of their spot. She let her temple lean against the cold stone. If this afternoon had been penance this was confession. The two were silent for a moment. Cook's words from earlier had made an impact, though arguably not the one he had intended. "I do want someone…need someone. You're right."
"And?"
Naomi mustered up the remainder of her courage as the adrenaline from marching across the castle with purpose slowly waned. She took an important breath.
"And when I'm with you I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier. Less alone, less lonely…
Emily reached through the barrier, effectively breaking it, as she took Naomi's hand into her own. Naomi grasped it firmly, ignoring the tears that tracked down her face.
"But it's not as simple as that is it? Being with someone." Naomi heard her own voice give, her eyes focused intently on the hand she clung to.
"Isn't it?"
"No…I mean…I don't know…I mean I don't think so." Naomi brushed at the tears on her cheek. She was a Slytherin. Slytherins were determined. She grasped for her words as fervently as her hand grasped Emily's. "I mean…can't we just sit like this…for a bit?"
"…Yeah, we can," Emily, said quietly as Naomi grabbed hold with both hands, "for a bit."