Living is your punishment, death is what awaits. Prepare to leave the light of sun, and pass through the night's gate.
Kalathi Song of the Dead, third verse
StarCraft: Ghosts and Shadows
Chapter 3: Return to Nightmares
It was night. And Liddy was wandering around.
She felt fine. The rifle was gone. The Shadow…whatever it was…was absent. And she felt fine. She no longer felt cold. Not that she seemed to be feeling much at all right now, but better nothing than something painful.
Better nothing than something…better John was never born…better not to have ever had something to lose…
Liddy shook it off. She didn't want to think such thoughts. They were almost as bad as talking to herself or apparitions.
She moved over to the swing and sat on it. Just like she'd done when she and Jim had first heard the news. She started swinging…pushing herself…John had always needed her help to start swinging…she'd always been there for him in case he fell off…
Weren't there for him when he died, were you?
And…it was back. Glancing around though, there was no sight of it. The lights were on, the trees were rustling, her lungs were aching…and yet, only the voice was heard.
You're ill. In more ways than one.
Liddy kept swinging.
And you don't care, do you?
She shook her head.
Then why don't you go ahead and end it?
Liddy reached for the slugthrower…
And stopped.
She'd taken it out, but hadn't raised it. She just stared at the pistol.
When did…how did I…
She didn't remember taking it out of the safe. She didn't remember taking the safety off. Sliding out the clip, she didn't remember emptying it so that only one round remained.
So you're suicidal and crazy. Course they're kind of the same thing, but…
Liddy shushed the voice away. Or maybe the coughing drowned it out.
Let's be honest here. You're freezing, and your body's no longer capable of telling you that. You've got pneumonia. It's winter, and you're far from the only one.
Liddy remained silent. She let the Shadow talk.
Only in your case, you're letting your condition worsen. In your case, you're exposing yourself to the elements. You're doing it because deep down-…
Liddy got off the swing. It kept moving.
You're fekked up. And it's your fault that John's dead. You're the one who let him go.
Liddy remained silent. You couldn't argue with facts.
...you're no fun.
Funny…that was what John said sometimes. She might have even laughed if not for the shortness of breath.
She could feel the Shadow watching her. But she couldn't stare back. The Shadow was everywhere. It was everything. It was her psyche. It was John. It was Jim's absence. It was the voice in the radio, the threats of Mengsk, the sports result of one side losing…
Actually, I kind of liked that. Padball's fun.
It was everything and nothing. Herself, and no-one. It was the breeze, the swing, the light, the dark.
Cool.
And…it was absolutely non-existent. Because in the end, all she knew that existed was her own mind. Despite being a "fringe squib" as a Core-worlder might say, she still understood the concept of solipsism.
Did you ever teach John that word?
And in the spirit of solipsism, her mind had fallen into a black hole somewhere.
Hmm…I preferred it when I was everywhere.
It was even the lyote.
Liddy stared at the creature. It stared back. She raised the pistol. Its head tilted to one side.
"You hungry?" she asked.
It tilted its head the other way.
"Poor thing. Must be the winter. Hard on everyone."
The lyote returned to staring at her.
"Come on. I'll…"
And that was when she collapsed.
She landed awkwardly and the pistol went off. Its bullet hit one of the swing's supports, sending it lopsided. Letting out a whine, the lyote scampered away.
Bye…John…
The Shadow didn't mock her. Maybe it didn't need to. Maybe it didn't want to kick her while she was down.
After all, she wasn't getting back up.
As her breathing became more ragged, as her shivering increased, she'd even be there when Jim returned in a few hours.
The End
A/N
Well, that's that done. Probably shouldn't be surprised by the lack of response, considering that Liddy is an obscure character and that this was my first time at writing a supernatural story in any meaningful manner. Anyway, got three other StarCraft stories on my 'to write' list currently, said fics being Inner Fire (a sequel to Operation: Claws), The Koprulu Chronicles (collection of oneshots) and Terran Up the Night (development of lyrics for all the songs listed in Wings of Liberty). Current writing focus right now however, is on a StarFront story titled Transit of Venus.