3. Love This Pain
Sam followed the doctor through a set of double doors into a ward. He gently moved her down onto the bed as the doctor pulled around the blue and yellow curtain with a light rattle. The doctor pulled a pair of white latex gloves from a box on top of a cabinet in the corner. 'Okay,' He smiled. 'What do we have here…?'
'We were down at the Grand Central Subway Station waiting for the subway and…'
'Oh…' He nodded, looking at the wound on her leg with a frown. 'Is this from the accident…?'
'I pulled her off the platform and we were halfway up the stairs when the second blast happened and she slipped and cut her leg.'
'Hmm…' He slipped his wire-rimmed glasses further up his nose. 'Yes it is quite deep isn't it…' He pulled the black office chair out from underneath the desk sitting down and moving himself closer to the girl on the bed. 'And what is your wife's name, Mr…?'
Sam reached out to shake his hand. 'Sam Evans. And she's not my w…' The doctor gave him a quizzical look. 'We just met this morning…' Still the doctor just looked at him. He turned and picked a needle off the medical tray beside him with a small jar filled with a clear liquid. He turned his attention to the small jar, and turned it upside down, using the needle to partially drain it.
'Well Mr Evans, does this relative…stranger, have a name?'
Sam looked at the still sleeping girl and saw she still held the book. 'Deer…' He finally said under his breath.
The doctor smiled at the peculiar name. 'Deer…?'
'Alice Deer.' He replied turning back to the doctor. 'Her name is Alice Deer.'
The doctor gave a satisfied nod. 'Alice Deer…' He moved on the chair between Sam and the bed. He lightly pressed a hand to her right shoulder, trying to wake her. 'Alice…Alice…wake up…' He cooed softly. Sam almost held his breath, hoping she'd respond to 'Alice', since the chance of her name actually being Alice was pretty slim indeed. After further pressing from the doctor she finally began to come round from her dreams and those heavy creamy lids lifted to reveal those hazel eyes once more.
The doctor smiled at her. 'Welcome back Alice.' Understandably confused, she looked up to see Sam nodding encouragingly at her with a slight smile. 'Can you tell me where you are…?'
She replied stuttering. 'Uh…'
He pointed to Sam. 'Can you tell me who this is…?'
She looked up with sleepy hooded eyes. She finally smiled at him and replied. 'Sam…'
Sam smiled back at her and looked at the doctor. 'She didn't hit her head.'
The doctor nodded looking up at Sam. 'With all accident patients, particularly if they are partially conscious we have to ask them questions, assess their awareness. We need to assess the patient's risks of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as soon as possible.' He turned back to the girl. 'Can you tell me where you were this morning Alice…?'
'I was getting the train…' She slurred slightly, still in her dream-like state.
'Which train station were you at…?'
'Grand Central, I think…' Sam gave her an encouraging nod. The doctor also seemed satisfied with her answers.
'Okay, Alice, I'm going to fix that wound up on your leg okay…?' She nodded permission and he gently reached forward and peeled the now deep crimson tie off from around her leg and she gasped with the pain. The wound was deep and about two inches across just below her knee. The doctor frowned thinking. He looked from the gaping wound back to her. 'You're going to need about 25 stitches.' She shifted herself further up the pillows on the bed reaching out her hand to Sam.
'It's okay,' The doctor tried to soothe. 'I'm gonna give you some painkillers so it'll help you while I stitch you up.' He smiled warmly.
She latched on hard to Sam when he took her hand. 'Not a fan of needles…?' He asked with a sympathetic smile.
She looked down at it in the doctor's hand with fear. 'Now I'm going to inject this just below your knee. It's going to numb the area, so you shouldn't be able to feel me stitching your leg back up. It may bleed a little more at first, but that's just until the painkillers settle in.'
'If it bleeds any more your leg will fall off!' Sam laughed clutching her hand.
She smiled through gritted teeth. 'You're not really helping…'
'Sorry, sorry.' He gripped her hand between his palms.
'Okay, take a deep breath for me Alice…'
Her eyes clamped shut and her hand released a vice like grip over Sam's hand. More blood trickled down her leg and the doctor had some blue tissue ready to catch the extra blood. Wiping up her leg, he dropped the tissues in the yellow medical bin behind him. 'Okay, that part's done now Alice. Now I'm going to stitch you back up.'
She slowly opened her eyes and nodded with a smile of gratitude to the doctor. Sam watched in amazement as the doctor seamlessly threaded the girl's pieces of skin together so elegantly. The doctor smiled knowing Sam was watching. Without looking up he responded. 'It's not half as amazing if you do it a couple times a week.' He looked away smiling bashfully.
'It doesn't feel amazing!' She squealed through gritted teeth.
'You can feel it…?' Sam asked, looking worried between her and the doctor.
The doctor nodded, trying not to panic Sam. 'She'll be able to feel it a bit. It'll be mostly numbed, but you can normally feel some tug and pull.'
If she was gripping his hand this tight, he was dreading the day childbirth rolled around.
The doctor finished up with her stitches and put a protective pad over the top. Sam helped her to stand.
'That shot of painkillers I gave you was pretty strong, but it will wear off in a few hours, so you may wanna take some just before you sleep cause that's going to be a little sore for the next few days.' He smiled at Sam. 'Take care of this little soldier.'
She was a little giddy from the strength of the painkillers, swaying back and forth hanging off Sam's shoulder. 'He's the soldier!' She laughed. 'He pulled me out. Just like that! Just grabbed me, saved my life this guy…!'
The doctor laughed looking at them both. 'I think she's gonna be just fine.' As they turned to leave and the doctor pulled back the curtain from around them. He tapped Sam's right forearm. 'Well done, Mr Evans. We need more like you out there.' He smiled.
Sam shrugged in return and smiled. 'It's nothing, really.'
They thanked the doctor, the girl slurring slightly. He helped her limp out of the ward and out of the Emergency Room doors back out onto the sidewalk.
'Okay, now you're all fixed up…' He began, but she interrupted.
'Let's go for a walk!'
'A walk…?' He asked looking down at her leg, a little concerned.
She gave an exaggerated nod and a wide smile. 'Well, now I'm 'all fixed up', I can walk again!' She threw her hands up in the air, almost in declaration. 'Plus I don't wanna go home yet…'
'Okay…' He agreed hesitantly. 'Where d'you wanna walk to…?'
'Only the greatest place in New York City!' She exclaimed as if it were a stupid question. Instead of questioning her, he simply decided to follow her as she started to walk; she obviously wasn't too giddy to know where she was going.
They'd been walking for around 10 minutes, when they game to an open black iron gate, with Central Park beyond it. He smiled to himself. 'See…' She threw her arms up in triumph. 'Is this not, the greatest place in New York City?'
He looked around them as they walked down the main path facing the water. 'It's hard to beat.' He agreed.
She walked just ahead of him, directing them to one of the painted black wooden benches. She sat down and hit the free spot on the bench next to her. Without spoken instruction, he took a seat next to her and stretched his legs out.
'Oh, sorry here…' She handed him back his jacket and he slid it back on.
'Thanks.'
She folded one ankle over the other. 'Okay, let's play a game…'
'A game…?' He looked a little uneasy.
'Not like Saw! Just a game…'
He nodded slightly. 'Okay, what kinda game…?'
She turned slightly, not quite being able to bring her leg up on the bench because of her knee, and because well, she was in a dress after all. She folded her left leg beneath her so her right leg was still hanging down, and angled her body towards his. She moved her hands telling him to mimic her actions. He shifted himself around, so they were mirroring each other. He watched her slip the ratty book back into her brown satchel hanging down by her right leg. Almost as if she'd forgotten something she closed her eyes and tapped her left forefinger to her forehead and opened her eyes, searching in her satchel. She flashed a set of pearly white, perfectly straight teeth as she brought out a semi-professional looking black Lumix camera. Before he could ask what she was doing with it, she raised it to her eye and pressed the shutter with a click. The flash caused him to raise his left hand to shield his face, a little too late.
'Stop paparazzi!' He smiled.
She lowered the camera and looked at the photo on the digital screen and chuckled. 'It's a good one.'
'Can I see it…?'
She held the camera close to her chest and raised an eyebrow at him. 'A lady never reveals her photography.' She responded playfully. She plopped the camera back into her bag. 'Now, this game…' He adjusted his position for comfort and nodded. She looked down at his left hand in his lap. 'You're not married…girlfriend…?'
He nodded with a smile. 'Well done Sherlock.'
'Younger…?'
He shook his head. 'Nope, older. Two years.'
'Cougar!' She chuckled surprised. 'How long you guys been together…?'
'Three years. We hooked up when she was bummed about turning the big 3-0. One thing led to another and here we are, three years later.'
'If you met when she was 30…and she's two years older…' She pondered aloud. 'That makes her…33, and you…'
He shook his head smiling. 'She was 29 when we met, she's 32 now. I'm 30.'
She nodded smiling. 'Hit that '30 wall'?'
He laughed. 'Surprisingly not! I think that happens more with chicks than us guys. What about you…? What's your deal…?'
She raised her chin slightly. 'Guess.'
'Okay then…' His eyes slid over her hands. 'No ring…relationship?'
She smiled. 'Nope. 'Single and ready to mingle'!' She laughed at herself. He looked at her with almost a look of surprise. 'Is that so shocking…?'
He smiled and shrugged. 'A little I guess.' He looked down at her brown satchel. 'You're carrying a satchel, with a book and camera so I'm gonna go with…college student…?'
She gasped feigning horror. 'How old do you think I am…?'
He shrugged smiling. 'Uh…21…?'
She threw her head back and laughed a throaty giggle that spilled out of her throat, her mouth open wide. Her blonde lightly curled hair spilled down her back and shook with her laughter.
When he could see her face again he tried again. '22…?'
She shook her head.
'23…?'
She sighed playfully and shook her head again.
'24…?'
She slightly twitched; he sensed he was getting nearer.
'2…5…?'
She nodded affirmatively, he laughed out loud.
'There's no way you're 25!' He held his stomach as he laughed.
She wished she had a pillow or something to hit him with. 'Come on…since I'm not a student…what's my job…?'
He tried to find clues from her clothing. She wasn't in particularly fashionable clothes, so he ruled that out. She didn't appear to have glasses so he guessed she wasn't in a literary field…although with that book… She held her hands out as she watched him try and figure it out.
'I give in!' He finally stated with an exasperated sigh. 'What do you do?'
'I'm an actress.' She stated simply smiling. 'I'm currently an understudy, in the Broadway production of…' She reached down into her bag.
'Alice in Wonderland…' He finished off her sentence watching her pull the book out of her bag.
She nodded in response. 'I've had this copy since I was born; it's always been my favourite book. That's why it's so torn up.' She laughed thumbing through it. 'As soon as I heard it was coming up for audition, I knew it was fate that I should go try out for it.'
'And I'm guessing you're the understudy for Alice, not any of the creatures…?'
She chuckled. 'Yes for Alice. She's my dream character.'
'When's it on?'
She waved her hand 'Oh not for a while yet, I'm just going through the book for character preparation, y'know if anything happened to the lead actress…'
He leaned in keeping his voice low. 'You're secretly hoping the understudy will get to step in aren't you…?'
She gasped laughing. 'No! The real Alice is a great actress!'
He laughed. 'Not even a little, tiny bit…?'
She leaned in, a small smile creeping over her lips. She brought an index finger to her peach pink lips. 'Shh…'
He laughed as they both sat back.
'So what about you, huh…? What d'you do…?'
He smiled. 'Guess.'
'Oh I can't guess! You've seen my maths skills – I definitely can't guess!'
'Just one guess, go on…'
She looked down over his now dirty suit. 'I don't know….You're a….' She hummed lightly and turned her head to the side thinking. 'You're a lawyer…?'
He smiled and paused slightly, causing her to look at him expectantly with a held breath. 'No.' He smiled and she instantly deflated. 'But close! I'm a Translator and International Negotiator.
'How is that 'close' to being a lawyer…?'
'Sometimes I have to deal with the law.'
She perked up. 'So do you deal with like, criminals and stuff…?'
He smiled. 'I can't tell you that.'
She fluttered her lashes and stuck out her bottom lip. 'Please…?'
He laughed at her attempted cuteness and held up both hands. 'I can't! Powers that be and all that…'
She rolled her eyes. 'Yeah…' She adjusted herself. 'So what's the deal with you and this girlfriend of yours…?'
'Her name is Romy…and what 'deal'…?'
She playfully slapped his arm. 'When you gonna put a ring on it bro?'
'When did you get so black?'
'Do I sense avoidance…? You don't want to marry her do you…'
He laughed. 'Of course I want to marry her.'
'Then why haven't you 'done the deed' yet?'
'I'm just waiting for the right time is all.'
She chuckled. 'Newsflash buddy: there is no right time.'
'Sure there is!'
'Chances are, you're gonna spend so long waiting and looking for it that it'll pass you by and won't even realise it. Hell, it may have already happened…'
His face dropped slightly. 'How d'you mean…?'
'Well, why d'you want to marry Romy?' She asked bluntly.
He felt caught a little off-guard. 'Uh…' He looked down at his feet thinking.
She clicked her fingers. 'Moment's over!'
'No!' He exclaimed, head jutting back up. 'Well I uh, I want to marry her because I love her!' He said quickly.
She shook her head thinking. 'Not enough.'
'What? Of course it is!'
She clicked her fingers three or four times thinking. 'No…you need more. You need urgency…as if living without her would kill you…'
He raised his eyebrows. 'Okay now I can see you're an actress…'
'And you're avoiding again…' She sighed.
'Okay, okay!' He stopped her in her tracks pushing out his hands. 'I love her because…I can't imagine waking up without her. I can't imagine going to sleep without her. When she laughs, my heart does a…' He moved his hand over his heart and mimicked a fluttering motion. 'When she comes in from work, when she's had a hard day and we talk about it together I rub her feet…her feet…I don't even like feet! We play together. She's so silly, but so…wise. She'd be a great mother. She's funny, and sweet and charming and so intelligent. She's self-deprecating but not attention-seeking about it; she never takes herself too seriously…' He had drifted off, half-dreaming. The girl yawned. 'Oh I'm sorry, am I boring you?' He asked sarcastically.
'You're being very sweet…but also so cliche.' She rolled her eyes for emphasis. 'This is a marriage proposal, not one of those cheesy romcoms…'
'But I want it to be perfect when I decide to ask her.'
'Tell her she's like peanut butter.'
'Wh…what…?'
'Trust me. Tell her she's like peanut butter. She likes peanut butter, right?'
'Uh…yeah…?'
'Who doesn't!' She laughed. 'Tell her she's peanut butter. And you're jelly. You go together.'
'That has got to be the worst thing I have ever heard…' He laughed after a pause. 'I want to spend the rest of my life with her, not take her out to lunch!'
'You'll be able to take her to lunch for the rest of your lives if she says yes.' She reasoned. 'Trust me. Tell her she's peanut butter.'
'Would you want someone to tell you 'you're peanut butter'?' He asked skeptically.
She went quiet at the question. She looked down at her hands in her lap. After a long and delayed pause, he almost took back the question when she responded. 'I told her.' She swallowed hard, still not looking up. 'We were peanut butter and jelly. We were at NYU together and we thought it was going to last forever, as you always do when you really feel, it…y'know?' She asked, finally looking up at him. Her hazel eyes had clouded over with a creeping sadness. 'She changed everything for me. She opened my eyes to everything, and changed me.'
'What happened…?' He asked carefully and quietly.
'We just…grew apart, y'know? I s'pose, that's what hurt the most. We just…'
'…Fell out of love…' He finished her sentence.
She nodded. 'Yeah.' She replied quietly. 'We grew up, and grew apart. We were gonna have the whole thing. The 'life', y'know?' She looked at him again and he nodded in understanding. She smiled at the memory. 'I remember…' She chuckled. 'I remember the last time I saw her. She was stunning…I bet she still is. One of the last things I said to her was...'
She could see her in the back of her mind, burning into her eyes as if she were sitting right where Sam was. In those incredible ass-hugging blue denim cut-offs and that white vest that pulled tight across her chest. Not to mention that pillar-box red pout. She felt her pulse start to quicken as she heard that light California accent and the rasp of her giggle.
Sam watched her clouded eyes turn darker. 'Was…?' He interrupted her day dream. She was brought back to reality by that word cutting through her and it felt as if a rock had just hit her chest.
'Was…' She thought, feeling positively breathless. '…I said…'
She saw them sitting on the couch together, the white Papa John's cardboard pizza box sitting between them. Her girl babbled about the latest assignment they'd been given between munches of a slice of pizza. Sam saw a smile return to her lips. She liked calling her 'her girl'. Her hair was still damp from the shower, her devilishly dark brown hair tied up at the top of her head in a messy bun. She cast her eyes over her content, munching girlfriend – even wearing sweats there was something stylish about her. She had that irritatingly perfect California olive sheen to her skin all the time – even when she slept. Her girl tugged at the thick crust with her canines, eventually managing to tear it apart. She couldn't understand how even while tearing apart a slice of pizza her siren girlfriend could look so perfect. While she was still babbling, she sat back against the arm on her side of the couch, just watching her, smiling. When her siren noticed she had stopped 'mmm'-ing in return she took a double-take looking back at her inquisitively.
'What you looking at me like that for…?' The siren asked hesitantly.
She smiled peacefully, drinking her in. 'You're peanut butter.' She finally responded dreamily.
She tilted her head, utterly confused. 'Uh…'
'How do I put this…' She chuckled lightly, thinking. '…You're peanut butter. You're nutty…most of the time, or smooth…' She kinked that dark irresistible eyebrow. '…You're amazing as you are, but I'm your jelly. Together…we just go together. We're perfect. I mean look at us!' She laughed looking down at her purple and white NYU Violets tee. 'We're eating pizza in our sweats!'
'What was her name…?' He brought her back to earth again.
'Rachel Berry…' She smiled after a pause.
'Her name was Rachel Berry…?' He tried his hardest to stifle a laugh.
'…And no she isn't a porn star!' She laughed lightly.
He held his hands up. 'I never said she was!'
She chuckled. 'A lot of people ask her that. Well, I don't blame her with a name like hers.'
'Where is she now…?'
She shrugged. 'She moved back to L.A. after college. I can only imagine she's still there, chasing her dreams.'
'Her dreams?'
'She's destined for the high life. We both knew that. I just always figured we'd be together when it happened.' She shrugged looking down at her fingers again.
He thought for a pause. 'I'll tell you what…' He spoke slowly. 'I'll tell Romy she's 'peanut butter',' He laughed lightly. '…If you go to L.A. and get your girl…'
She raised her head and looked at him. When she realised he was serious she burst into a fit of giggles. When he gave her a curious look she finally replied. 'You're crazy!' She panted breathlessly. When she looked down once more his heart sank a little.
'You love her don't you?' His words cut through her reality.
Her eyes eventually met his. 'Always.'
'Then go get her.'
'You're still crazy.' She shook her head dismissively.
'You're still in love with her.'
'What if she's moved on…?' Her voice quivered.
'What if she hasn't?' He answered simply, bluntly.
He reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out a black pen and a small piece of card. He quickly jotted something down and slid it over to her. 'My cell. I want you to keep up your end of the bargain.'
She held the thin piece of card between her fingertips and stared down at it. 'And how do I know you'll keep up your end…?'
'Call me and find out.' He smiled.
She flipped the card over between her fingertips and smiled looking at him. 'How do I know this isn't just a ploy from you to get my number…?'
He responded simply. 'Have I ever asked for it…?'
A little embarrassed by her question she looked down into her lap. He smiled at her shame. 'Anyway, I just want to see the best for you. You seem like you really deserve it.'
'You only met me this morning.'
'Exactly. We only met a few hours ago and I already know that you deserve this. You deserve the girl with the porn star name.' She laughed, but this time he could see those little pearl white slabs usually concealed by those lips. He realised his words were actually getting into her somewhere, somehow.
'Romy would be a fool to say no.' She smiled.
'I kinda hope she won't!' He chuckled.
She slipped his card into her cardigan pocket and swung her leg around so her body shifted and rose to her feet. She swivelled around and held out her hand to him. 'You have a proposal to get to.'
He smiled and took her hand pulling himself up off the bench. 'And you have to go get your girl.'
They walked side by side on the winding path until they stepped out of the gate exiting Central Park, and back out onto the sidewalk. She walked slightly in front of him, hailing herself a cab. As the black tyres screeched to a halt on the road beside them, he reached forward and pulled the door open for her. As she turned to step into the cab, she turned back to him.
'Why did the doctor keep calling me 'Alice'…?'
He smiled before answering. 'He asked for your name, and well…I don't know it. I saw that book in your hand and I said the first name that came into my head. Alice.'
She nodded and smiled. 'It's a good name.'
He smiled. 'Thanks, I came up with it myself.'
She chuckled. 'Actually, Lewis Carroll came up with it.'
He shrugged and chuckled to himself. 'Same difference.' He gripped the top of the wide open door with his left hand.
She dug into her bag and checked her phone. 'It's getting late; you should be getting back to Romy.'
He smiled. 'Yeah, that's a good idea. She may wonder where I've been all this time…'
'Especially if she knew you've spent the day with a beautiful stranger…' She exaggerated laughing.
He smiled. 'What should I tell her?'
She smiled and dug her hands in her cardigan pockets. 'You tell her…' She paused, thinking a second. 'You tell her, you and a stranger just happened to…'
They smiled at each other. '…Collide...' They said in unison.
'So may I ask what your name is, anyway?'
'My name is Quinn. Quinn Fabray.'
He extended his right hand. 'Nice to meet you, Miss Fabray.'
She shook his hand. 'You too, Mr Evans.'
And with that, she finally took a seat alone in the cab and disappeared into the failing light.