7. Gravity
A little over a minute of uncomfortable silence between Quinn and the preppy girl behind the desk, the double doors in front of them opened and in stepped the girl that turned her world upside down. Somehow, she still managed to do it.
The small girl…now a woman, was dressed all in black. Her hair was tousled and longer than the blonde remembered, those bangs shading her forehead, hanging low just above those dark pools she called eyes. She looked down and her feet were bare, her toenails painted black, pedicured of course. Her eyes drifted up over those toned, oddly-long legs for the woman's small height. She was wearing short black shorts and a black jacket that looked like leather, zipped up the front but yet revealed some bare olive skin over her chest.
Quinn saw where the zip stopped to reveal and had to catch her breath for a second. The smaller woman looked up to her. 'Quinn…'
She cleared her throat, snapping her out of her inappropriate thoughts.
'Quinn, what are you doing here…?'
'Can we…can we talk…?' She kept her voice low.
Rachel folded her arms, just emphasising where the zip was resting even more.
She shrugged. 'Fine.'
Quinn looked around them uncomfortably. 'Here…?'
Rachel rolled her eyes with a silent sigh. 'Follow me.'
She led them through the clinically-white hallways until they came to a white door with a silver handle, and voices echoing the halls from the photoshoot became distant. She opened the door and Quinn followed her inside. She was met by what looked like a dressing room, although the door was unmarked. There were mirrors stretched over a wall illuminated by so many light bulbs she couldn't count. There were two small off-white couches in the room and a white coffee table but not much else.
Rachel leaned against the desk attached to the mirrors. She looked at her feet for a pause, and then back to Quinn with a deep intake of breath before moistening her bottom lip. 'Okay…talk…'
Seeing a flash of that tongue still managed to floor her. 'What…?' She asked distractedly.
'You said you wanted to talk. So talk.'
'Don't you wanna know what I'm doing here?'
She sighed. 'Okay then. What are you doing here Quinn?'
Quinn shrugged. 'I came to see you.'
The smaller woman scoffed. 'Well that's obvious.' She folded her arms again, tighter this time. Quinn knew that was her way of protecting herself. She'd never really been a people person, but once she let people in? Quinn thought it was nothing short of glorious.
She paused watching her. 'You're trying to defend yourself…' She said without thinking.
'What? No I'm not.' The other woman hit back defensively, arms still crossed.
Her heart sank. 'You think I've come back to hurt you don't you…'
'You already did that years ago.'
Her heart sank a little further. 'I don't wanna hurt you…'
'A little too late for that, isn't it Quinn?'
She looked like Fort Knox standing small but tough. Quinn decided to change tact. 'Do you remember the first time we met…?'
Her indifferent expression faltered slightly, her mouth briefly curled up at the right side. So briefly that Quinn thought she might have imagined it. 'Of course I remember.' The harsh tone returned.
She looked around them. 'I was just thinking 'bout it on the way over. I saw you in a movie on the plane…you've come so far from back then.'
'You flew here?'
'I'm still back in New York.'
Rachel almost smiled. 'I haven't been back since…' And then that almost smile was wiped clean away. She shook her head abruptly. 'Look, Quinn, what are you doing here?'
She looked at her scuffed brown pirate boots and took a deep breath before looking back at Rachel and letting the words fall out of between her lips.
'I've come back for you.'
'Who do you think you are?' She responded immediately. Quinn looked at her a little stunned. 'Did you really think you could just come back here, and expect me to see you and just fall back into your arms and for everything to go back four years when everything was fine?' Her lips sealed tightly, her guard still painfully intact. 'Please tell me you're not that naïve.'
She started towards the door.
'Rach…'
That dark hair whirled around to reveal her face which was more upset than angry. 'No. I'm done. I'm done with you, and I'm done with us. You shouldn't have come back for me. You gave up that right when you went with her.' She swept a piece of her hair from her eye, stopping herself from letting a tear escape. 'I'm happy now. I've moved on. I'm over you and who we were.' She turned away and gripped the door handle with her right fist, steadying herself. She spoke calmly without looking at her again. 'Please never come back.'
With that, she walked out of the room. Quinn looked down and her hands were shaking, before her whole body began to tremble.
She jammed the key into the lock and the door swung open as she dragged herself through the threshold. She carelessly dumped her case near the small navy couch covered with what looked like cigarette burns and coffee stains. She threw the key onto the beside table. She locked the door behind her and loosely tied her blonde hair up into a messy bun. She filled the cheap brown bathroom sink with water, hoping if she washed away the stains from the tears, it would make her feel better. It didn't work. She stripped off her old clothes, changing into a white tank top and crawled between the cheap looking dark green sheets.
Morning rolled around, and she woke rubbing her eyes, confused by her surroundings. That was until yesterday's events hit her straight in the chest like a freight train. Rachel's ghostly voice echoed around her empty head, making her feel worse than ever. She was about to bury her head back into the pillows when she felt a vibration ripple up the bed. She sat herself up and dug into her cardigan pocket to find her vibrating cellphone. She almost thought she was hallucinating when she saw the name on the screen.
She pressed the green button and raised the phone to her ear.
The first thing she heard was mysterious sniffling.
'I haven't moved on.' The shaky voice finally spoke. 'I'm not over who we were.'
Quinn's throat felt dry, her tongue desperately searching for some sort of moisture.
'Quinn…?' Her voice was still shaky.
She swallowed. 'I…I'm here…' She croaked, those two words all she could muster.
'Can I see you?' She asked, voice still trembling.
'I don't know, can you?' She shrugged.
'I need to see you. Meet me at the Starbucks by the studio from yesterday.'
There was a light grey drizzle in LA that day, the sky felt heavy upon the blonde's already slumped shoulders. Coach Sue's lectures to her about posture really didn't matter to her anymore. Quinn had arrived at the designated Starbucks a little early to compose herself, in advance of the smaller woman's arrival.
The glass and wooden door swung open, and in she breezed. She pulled off her damp light grey woolly hat and unzipped her black coat, taking in the warmth of the coffee shop. The first thing Quinn noticed was that slightly curled deep brown hair. Her light olive skin was radiant sans make up – she never needed it when she wasn't working. She timidly pulled out the seat in front of Quinn at the small round table and sat down.
'Your assistant isn't joining us then?' She opened with a hint of sharp sarcasm.
She shook her head. 'I just wanted to talk to you. Alone.' She said quietly. She unravelled her dark grey scarf from around her neck and draped it across her lap. 'I'm sorry.'
Her iPhone on the table illuminated and began buzzing. She cancelled the call but Quinn still saw her home screen photo of Rachel with her assistant, looking far too intimate to be professional.
Her heart dropped like an anvil into her abdomen when it dawned on her.
'You're together.' Rachel sat still non responsive, hand hovering over her cellphone, just staring at the offending item. 'Just tell me the truth.'
She was still unresponsive so she said the only thing she knew would get her attention. 'Peanut…'
Rachel froze. Quinn almost regretted the decision until her head slowly rose, those all-consuming eyes lifting to meet Quinn's own. That bottom plump dark pink lip quivered a little.
She licked her bottom lip again. 'Yes.' She swallowed, keeping her voice low. 'We're together.' She looked around their surroundings. 'But no one knows.' And lowered her eyes again.
Quinn sat back. 'So all of what you said this morning is bullshit then?'
Rachel's eyes shot to Quinn's once more. 'What?'
'This morning you said you hadn't 'moved on'. You said you weren't 'over who we were'. So what you said was complete bullshit then?'
'No of course it's not.'
'Well what d'you want me to say Rachel? You're sleeping with your assistant. D'you want me to make this easy for you so you don't have to admit it to yourself?' She chuckled lightly. 'That's exactly it isn't it. You want me to tell you to break up with her and be with me so you won't feel so guilty about doing it yourself. You still feel guilty about what happened with Lexie, don't you…'
Rachel let out a low grunt. She always knew how to read her mind.
'Fine! Yes!' She exclaimed. 'Seeing you yesterday…made me realise things…things, that I didn't want to face up to.'
'She doesn't know that you're with me right now, does she…That's why you didn't answer her call…And you don't want her to know.' She responded simply.