Ok so this is the next chapter. the song for this one is Just breath...but i want to use it again..so i will with a different title.

well i told you i would get it to you! here it is a few hours late i know but i have been working on it all day my Beta didnt even get the copy of it but i figured what the hell why not let you all find out what its about so no i didnt get this whole thing pre read just maybe the first pargraph in which i rewrote!

so i own nothing and will continue to own nothing

hope you all enjoy!

Here I was standing in her living room. Where we once shared laughs and did body shots. Where she first told me about Makenna. This was where I spent my vacations so that I didn't have to see my family this was my get away! Makenna's cries started to get louder. Which only made me want to cry harder because there was nothing that I could do to sooth her.

I read the baby books and did research on why she was crying. Alice never mentioned her crying this much ever! I think she missed her parents because I was crying over the same thing just as hard. I think she can tell that they aren't around anymore its been a four days since the accident but she hasn't stopped crying since Edward and I first picked her up for social services. But even then her eyes looked sad, puffy and tired. Spending more then 5 minutes with Edward wasn't the best.

I hated him with the passion of a million suns. I would never forgive him for what he put me through.

I walked over to the couch and plopped down laying Makenna on my knees looking down at her swollen red face with her soft puffy eyes that reminded me so much of Jasper. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, wiped of the tears from her face then laid back putting her on my chest. She stopped crying as she laid on my chest which was a relief. I patted her back as her breathing started to become more controlled as I let a few more tears slip form my eyes.

I took a deep breath and stated to think what I would be doing if I was home right now. For starters I would be at work doing some paper work and hating it but going home for some amazing make up sex with Jacob. That I remembered that I hadn't heard from him since I left New York. I ran my hand through my hair because that was another mess entirely.

If I still hadn't gotten a text or a voice mail yet meant that he was still so pissed off that It might just be best that I'm still here just not under these circumstances. I couldn't believe that he didn't even call to make sure that I was ok that's what really bothered me about Jake. I love him with all of me but sometimes he just doesn't think of me or my feelings and this was a huge thing he should be here with me now when he got the call and voice mail that should have been the first thing to be done make sure I ok.

He might not have liked Alice that much but she is like my sister. Well was like my sister. I let another tear roll down my face I wiped it off with the shoulder of my shirt. I could hear Makenna's breathing changing, she was starting to fall asleep.

I looked up and I saw Edward standing in the door way leaning up against it. I glared at him and held her closer to me. I couldn't believe that they picked Edward out of all the people in the world to help me raise their baby girl. But they picked me and I still have no clue why they picked me either. "Hey are you doing ok? Want me to take her for a while?"

His voice sounded raw like he was crying for a while too. His eyes were looking so sadly at Makenna and me sitting on the couch. All puffy and amazing but yet very sad. The one thing I absolutely loved about Edward were his eye. They were such a rich green color mixed with flakes of gold. I had never seen anything like them ever and trust me when Alice and I went out…. Well we had our share of make out buddies and one night stands. The thought made me simile for a second but instantly sad too.

"No she is fine she is finally sleeping." I laid my hand on her back and he walked over to me. Sitting on the arm of the couch because I was now taking up most of it. He put his hand on my shoulder, I pulled away jerking Makenna a little making her start to whimper. I glared up at him."What are you doing? Don't touch me, I don't even want you around me!" I stood up and than walked thought the door way that he was standing up against into the sitting room down a hall way then through a door that led to the guest bed room. That was a decision that we came to make together. It had a port-a-crib in it where I put Makenna. I made sure she was covered up just incase that it got cold. I just stared at her wondering what was gonna happen.

Tomorrow was the funeral I had to go out in the morning and buy dresses for both of us. The morning seemed to be so far away I couldn't believe that only four days had gone by. I took a deep breath in and looked over at the clock it was 11:38. I walked over to the bed pulled off my sweat pants, hoodie, and bra and crawled into the cold bed. I watched the clock change till 12:22 then I closed my eyes. I woke up in the morning to Edward rubbing my shoulder to wake me up. I woke up in a startle and almost hit him in the face. I laughed internally at the thought of actually getting to smack him. I got over that evil feeling and then sat up.

"Why are you in here? Is Makenna ok? Was she crying?" I asked then stood up to get her. I hadn't really put her down since social services gave her to us. Edward hadn't gotten to hold her except when I took a shower the two days ago and even still debated with him about taking her in with me. I just didn't want him to end up hurting her the same way her hurt me. Well he couldn't hurt her that way but still I felt that he ruined a lot for me my trust, my ability to love. He took a huge chunk of me when he cheated and left me.

"She is in the living room laying in her boopy thing. She is fine we had breakfast she pooped and now im waking you up. " he said as he was walking to the door. "Well she needs a bath before we go dress shopping. So give her to me and ill just do it at once." I said demandingly. He stopped and turned around. "why do you need to give her a bath? Shes fine I gave her one this morning." he said."Edward! You didn't get water in her eyes did you? Did you was her with the right soap? Alice said she doesn't do well with some soaps!" I pushed past him to go get her and check to see if she had any rashes or any kind of allergic reaction to anything. He grabbed my wrist hard and yanked me back "Bella what is your problem your so posesive of her. Let me take care of her she is mine to ya know. I have been around her a lot more then you have." I glared at him and clenched my teeth. I wasn't going to say anything to him that would make him say anymore to me the little that we talked the better. I yeanked my wrist from his hand and in doing so I fell backwards into the wall smacking my head on the stupid table thing that Alice had. As soon as I hit my head Edward was at my side "Bella are you ok im soo sorry I didn't think you were gonna fall! I mean I should have but its been so long I just didn't think you were still such a Klutz! Im glad you weren't holding Makenna when it happened!" I groaned in pain and rbbed the back of my head and let a few tears fall because it really hurt like a bitch! "Edward shut up and get out of my fucking face! This is your fault! If I had Makenna it would still have been your fault if she was hurt!" I pushed myself off the ground and huffed into the living room. I picked up the baby and her bouncy seat and walked into the guest bathroom. I checked her for any allergic reactions she was fine but I still wanted to make sure that she really got clean. I mean this was the last day that she was gonna ever see her mom. When that thought crossed my mind I started to cry and crumble into a ball in the shower I held Makenna close to me not letting the water hit her face and upset her and I just cried for a few minutes imagining what Alice would be saying right now. After all my huge fights with Edward I would call her. She gave me the best advice. When I was done with my cry I got out of the shower and dried up both off putting Makenna back in the bounce seat.

" This is Alice and Jasper. Were not here right now but if you could leave your name and number we would love to get back to you! Thanks bye!" I let out a small whimper. The machine beeped. I waited a few seconds then spoke "Alice I cant do this anymore." then I hit the button on the phone I was sitting in the bath room of my apartment that Edward and I got together. It was big and beautiful! I had walked in on him and his red headed mistress. Her name was Victoria, she was beautiful and I could see why Edward wanted her but I didn't understand why he picked me over her to begin with. Edward and Victoria went back to freshman year of college. I met him the night of graduation at the bar where Alice and Jasper met. We didn't really talk but did lots of drinking while Jasper and Alice were in the ally fucking. Little did both of us know what was to come. After a few months of Jasper and Alice being together they made us go out with them trying to get us together it wasn't till after Jasper popped the question did Edward and I start to see each other outside of them. We went out for coffee the first few times and then bars after work, he took me to see no doubt in concert. We became a couple fast and it was fine. I always knew that him and Victoria stayed in touch and he told me nothing was going on that they were just old buddies from his math class freshman year. And I let it go. She knew that he was taken and didn't seem like she was going after him. We had been together for 3 years when things started to change. I got few hello kisses when he came home from work. He started staying out late and not calling. I just thought it was part of his job. He was a high up business man. But when the meetings started to come up a lot more in places like California and Utah things changed with us. One day he left his cell phone at home and got a text so like I normally had I looked at it to see what it said and tell them that he left his phone at home to reach him at the office if they needed. that's was when I read the text form

V 3

"Hey baby meet me in Denver next week I have been feeling very lonely! Think your old hag will let you off the hook again?

Love you ,

Victoria"I threw the phone down as it hit off the counter and on to the floor the screen got smashed and the back fell off letting the battery fall out. I couldn't believe that this was happening. He promised me that he would never hurt me, that he loved me with all of him. I felt so betrayed. I called a lock smith and got them changed immediately. It took them about 2 hours but when they were done they gave me the new keys and took the old ones. I wasn't going to let him back in. Stupidly I did though. He told me he was sorry and that things were going to change. I apologized for braking his phone and went out and bought him a new one. Life was good again we started doing dates again going out and having vacations together. It lasted a while but soon enough his old habits started to kick in again so one day I took off from work when things were really at the end. I came home early put my keys on the table next to the door walked down the hallway to go to the bathroom when something caught my ear. It sounded like a loud thump that was going pretty rapidly. So I stopped and opened my bedroom door when I saw Victoria onto of Edward in my bed. I couldn't move. I didn't want to watch but I couldn't move. After ten seconds Edward saw me in the door way but didn't bother to stop her he just kept looking at me with desire in his eyes from what was going on but pain as well. Once my brain finally caught up with the rest of me I ran into the bathroom locked the door and pulled my cell phone out. I made my call to Alice who was all the way in Washington. She moved back to Forks. She said that we were never going back there but yet she did. I never held it against her until now when I wished she was still just down the street. And I could have run to her and stayed with her and been safe. Edward was pounding on the bathroom door after he had finished up with her. Demanding that I let him. I couldn't believe that he thought he deserved to be let in. what he did to then was the last straw I was never going to let him ever hurt me like that called me a few hours later. We talked about it I cried, she cried, and she just gave me some words of advice. To just lay on the floor and breath. Just breath. Stop thinking about the world and what was going on in it. Just breath.

so it was? the next best thing to oatmeal cookies? cause trust me those things are so good! well just do you know im gonna start to make a youtube channel for this with the songs that i listen to, that get me in the mood to write the sad stuff and when we get going into the happy stuff im gonna give you the happy tunes! ill start that soon when i have the time! welll ill be writing agian and another post will be up in a few days... as you can tell i just left this story of her bella in the bathroom.

so leave some reviews let me know what you think trust me its gonna be alot better.

:)