Merits of Love

Ashaki stared at the wolverine creature near her feet for hours. Nyota glanced at her, wondering if the woman could even see the thing. Styik sat on Ashaki's lap with his arms around her. He did this for hours each time that they came over to the house and Nyota knew that he was in there, venturing around for something that he could use to reconnect her with the world. Ashaki stared at the wolverine and remained wherever it was that she had been since her unfortunate accident.

The seas were different shades of blue and the sky was different shades of pink. The sun was setting and Ashaki was on a deserted island. She sighed at the setting of the sun and drew with her finger another tally mark into the sand. Many nights she had been in this place, and sometimes, although she had trouble remembering it, sometimes, she left. Where did she go? Perhaps she went into her mind? Perhaps, out of it. The winds began to blow and she hugged herself to try to keep a bit warmer, though not warm.

Something was emerging from the water. She jumped at the sight of it, but realized that this had happened before. Before, who was it? Who had arisen from the water? She could not remember his name. Sibol... Sybo? Sybok? Sybok... but this was not him. This was a child. A very familiar child... he emerged from the water and sat at her side. She stared at him, neither said a word. Styik. That was his name, she remembered. Finally, he said, "This has been a slow and painful process, Grandmother." She smiled. Grandmother? She understood the word, although she did not remember having a child, much less a grandchild. "I believe that I finally can help you in the way that I have been wanting to. I thought too deeply into it, before. I did this to you, and I have been trying to think of a way to change your brain, a way to undo what I did. There are shots that can help regrow brain tissue. The tissue is not the issue... the shock is. You were sent into this state by my hatred. I should have tried love to release you, but I never loved as strongly as I hated and I did not think that I even could until recently."

She continued to stare at him, not knowing at all what he was talking about. She did not know what condition he thought her to be in, nor what his hate or love had to do with anything, but she still listened to him. "Grandmother, in order for me to temporarily mend you, I would have to expose to you your pain, your ordeal, your struggle and pull it away from you and awaken you from your state when your mind is free of it, but I wish to try something new. I wish to try, not to take anything away from you to try to mend you, but to add..."

Toimu looked at Styik on Ashaki's lap when he entered the house. Nyota waved a hand and said, "He can talk to her like that for hours without being discouraged."

"I wish that I could talk to her like that for hours. When I talk to her, I don't even know if she can hear me." Toimu answered, sadly. He perked up and said, "So, the day after he comes back home from nearly dying by himself in the desert, he just decided that he would come talk to Mama for hours, huh?"

"Maybe he had a deep spiritual revelation during his kahs'wan which he believes is the key to unlocking Ashaki's prison of her mind." Vulrak suggested, seated on the floor by Nyota, both of them facing Ashaki in her chair.

Toimu said, "Maybe..." Toimu suddenly froze and announced in a low voice, "There is a goddamned wolf in the house."

Nyota glanced at the animal and said, "That is Arev. Arev came home with Styik and refuses to leave, even though Spock insists that we can not keep him."

"He can't stay his wolf ass here." Toimu said, still speaking low and still frozen.

Nyota laughed and said, "He will not attack. He is a friend of Styik's. For crying out loud, Toimu, Sytar is walking around the house, and Arev hasn't harmed him."

"Maybe Arev is not hungry yet." Vulrak stated, eying the animal suspiciously, himself. Vulrak had voiced concerns earlier about such a creature being in the midst of his wards, as well.

Nyota frowned and said, "Sarek seems to believe that Styik tamed him, well."

Toimu now smiled. "Styik went out into the desert with no weapons or tools and tamed a wolf and brought it home?" Toimu asked. "Those Vulcan girls are going to be in trouble with he starts to become interested in them!" He said.

Vulrak smirked and asked, "Mr. Toimu, does your mind focus on other things?"

"Only when it is necessary." Toimu replied with a smile. He seemed comfortable again, despite Arev's presence. "Want some chocolate?" He asked Vulrak.

"I would love some. I am not currently working, as Young Styik has proven himself to be just as acceptable as Lady Uhura's appropriate guard in Sir Spock's absence." Vulrak answered.

"And Lady Uhura does not and has not needed a guard for months now, anyway!" Nyota pointed out, annoyed.

Sytar walked around the house in a silver walker and rammed into the walls, purposefully with it. Vulrak smiled at the sight. Toimu shook his head at it and left the room for the kitchen. Nyota watched as Sytar decided to walk himself to the other side of the room and crash into that wall as well. He laughed, excitedly when he did this. Vulrak now snickered a bit, himself and said, "I can only imagine Sir Spock's confusion when the baby does such things."

Nyota laughed as well and said, "If you think that imagining it is funny, you ought to see it. I'll have to call you into the room when Sytar does it with Spock there some day."

"It better be some day soon. None of you will be here for very much longer." Vulrak stated.

Toimu reentered the room and handed Vulrak a glass and sat down next to his mother with a glass of his own. Nyota smirked, "Oh great, are the two of you going to drink away family night, again?"

Vulrak shrugged and said, "I am not working, and this is not my family."

Toimu said, "I'll be damned if it isn't. If something serious came up, who else would be there for you, but us?" Vulrak shrugged. Toimu said, "To family." And he clicked his bottle to Vulrak's glass.

Nyota sat, hugging her legs as Toimu turned on some music. Vulrak looked at her and asked, "Are you alright?"

"Not really. Styik just came home yesterday, nearly died, but made it. I feel like that is a cause for celebration. Last night, we welcomed him home at the mansion, but tonight is my family's turn. I told Spock that it was important to me that he shows up for this family night and the last time I talked to him, he said that he, his father, Ambassador Spock and Tirza are all in the laboratory watching the fetuses grow. Apparently there has been some kind of great breakthrough with the cloning process and he may not be able to make it here. I know, I am being selfish."

Vulrak put his arm around her and said, "No, you aren't. Tirza and Spock were made for each other." The words came out bitter, and Nyota curled her lips slightly to the side in thought of what he meant. Perhaps he was referring to Tirza's Spock. She decided on yes, because surely Vulrak would not say such a thing to her about her own Spock. Maybe he was simply pointing out how similar Spock and Tirza could be, thus describing his level of understanding in her plight.

Toimu lifted his eyebrows at the two of them and said, "Last time you did that..." He kicked Vulrak slightly and Vulrak removed his arm.

The last time he had placed his arm like so around Nyota, Spock entered the house with Dr. Uhura and everyone reflexively turned to Spock to see his reaction. There was no reaction whatsoever, but Vulrak removed his arm and Nyota put her head down. Spock stared at Vulrak for the rest of their short stay at the house and did not come to bed with Nyota that night, nor did he say another word to her that night. When she asked him if he had gotten angry with her, he said, "Anger is illogical." That did not mean that he had not gotten angry, and she had become quite conscious of her affections with Vulrak, since the occurrence.

Vulrak chugged down his chocolate drink, then stood from the floor to get more from the kitchen.

Toimu asked Nyota, "Did Baba tell you when he was coming home?"

"In about an hour, I think." She replied.

"Good. I'll be good and slushed, by then." Toimu said, drinking directly from the bottle, hardly stopping for air.

Nyota sighed and asked, "Why aren't you and Baba getting along, now?"

He spoke with utmost annoyance as he replied, "He doesn't want to try anything to help Mama. To him, everything is too dangerous. Mama would have tried anything to get him back."

Nyota defended, "He is afraid, Toimu. Baba has been completely different since this happened to Mama. Mama was Baba's peace of mind, his strength, his very soul, and now... he has to try to live with her being like this. I can not even imagine if Spock..." She shook her head. "Toimu, remember that Baba has been with Mama nearly twice as long as you have, and in a far different capacity. Baba is doing the best that he can."

Toimu shook his head and said, "He is doing nothing. He is watching her waste away. He himself is wasting away. He is just sitting around here, waiting for her to die!"

Vulrak reentered the room and sat next to Nyota on the floor, again.

Nyota was snarling at Toimu, "He is trying to live with her being in her condition!"

"You know what, I'm through with this conversation. Why ask me what the problem is if you are just going to tear down my answer, Yo? And you are part of the problem too. Teasing him this way. You come down to the planet, visiting him all the time, visiting with Mama, spending time with the family, working an acceptable job, getting him all attached to his grandchild and then get ready to jump right back on a damned starship, so I can listen to him lament all the damned time about how reckless you are!" Toimu fussed.

Nyota looked at Vulrak and said, "Take his bottle."

"V, you are not working tonight." Toimu reminded him, his grip tightened on the bottle, as he did.

Vulrak sighed and reached for the bottle, explaining, "Toimu, perhaps you have had too much to drink."

"I just started drinking; move your hand." Toimu said, slapping Vulrak's hand away from his bottle. Vulrak shifted to force the bottle from Toimu's hand. Toimu laughed and said, "You know, I used to fool with Ravalan... and one thing that I hated was when she referred to Yo as a Vulcan man magnet, but she was so right. You are so up Yo's ass right now. How can you justify taking my bottle from my hand in my father's house, just because a woman, who is not even giving you any, told you to?"

Vulrak answered, "She is my ward, Toimu. I am obligated to ensure her safety. Your drinking is causing you to behave irrationally, and irrationality can lead to dangerous behavior, especially from you."

Toimu asked, "So, this has nothing to do with the fact that you wish you had met my sister before Spock did? Did you not say that to me when we were at the bonfire and you were so full of chocolate that you kept pulling Zaina by the hair and telling her that we were going home with her?" Toimu looked at Nyota and said, "Give me my bottle, or I tell everything that was said. Yo is looking me right in the eyes, V. Want her to know what kind of conversations went on that night?"

Vulrak handed the bottle over to him, shook his head, and whispered to Nyota, "He will be fine." Nyota stared at Vulrak, processing what Toimu had just said, until Vulrak said, "And he took what I said out of context. I was being facetious when I said it, because he kept making comments about me having feelings for you. The statement was in jest, My Lady." She nodded her head.

Toimu sputtered, "Was it in jest when you told Zaina that you have had fantasies about Nyota and Tirza sexually together? You didn't realize that I was still awake, and she was trying to meld with you and get you turned on..."

Vulrak's nostrils flared and he stated, "There are children in the room, Toimu."

Toimu snapped, "I don't want no pictures of my sister like that painted for me!" Nyota would have laughed at Toimu's slurred speech, if it wasn't for his becoming obnoxious. He went on to say, "Tirza and Zaina, maybe..."

Now, Vulrak glared at him, "Do not speak about Tirza that way." His tone was serious, and Nyota realized that he may become belligerent, if agitated. She grabbed Vulrak's hand and he glanced at his hand in hers, but returned his focus to Toimu to say, "Tirza is not like Zaina or any of those Vulcan mistresses you adopt, and I will not allow you to speak about her in such a way."

Toimu now smiled and said, "You can speak about my sister that way, but not Tirza? When you said it, Tirza was involved. When I say it, Tirza can't be involved? What is that? And don't confront me, like this is your territory, or something. You seem to keep forgetting that you are a guest."

Vulrak pulled his hand away from Nyota to point at Toimu and said, "You seem to keep forgetting that I am a Vulcan. Humans should not toy with our emotions, Toimu, if your last little girlfriend did not make that clear to you..."

"Aww, Hell! Why would you even bring that up in front of my family?" Toimu now looked mad, but Vulrak kept speaking, as though there had been no reaction at all from the human male.

"What, that Zaina became so frustrated with your whoring all over New Hope that she splashed a bottle of the Wedding Gift on you..."

"Shut up, Vulrak." Toimu never called him by his name, as far as Nyota knew, so he was getting serious.

This was serious, but Vulrak continued, "And when you were leaving New Hope, you nearly got sexually assaulted by a group of V'tosh katur guys because of the concentration of synthetic pheromones that Zaina puts in the oil..." Toimu smashed the empty liquor bottle over Vulrak's head.

Nyota yelped and flinched as glass flew her way. Vulrak leaped up and grabbed Toimu by the collar and slammed him against the wall, over the couch. Nyota crawled over to Sytar, who was staring at them, wide eyed and she collected him from his walker, calling out, "Vulrak, desist! I repeat, desist! If you assault my brother, I will press charges on you for striking a human! You could kill him." Vulrak slammed Toimu against the wall and let go of him.

Styik calmly said, "I am trying to work. Perhaps Vulrak should leave our family night," without ever letting go of Ashaki. Vulrak stormed towards the door and Toimu stepped from the couch and right into the glass. He fell to the floor with a groan. Vulrak turned around and saw him bleeding.

"Oh my God." Nyota said, with disbelief and agitation. Vulrak sighed and went over to Toimu. He helped him to sit on the couch and went to find the first aid kit to help him. Nyota sat next to Toimu and said, "If I ever, ever see you anywhere near a bottle, I am going to take it from you, and hit you over the head. He could have killed you."

"He never would have." Toimu said.

"Um, if he lost control..." Nyota suggested.

"Vulrak does not lose control. I trust Vulrak with my life." Toimu said, certainly.

Nyota did too, but she was still shaken up by how Toimu had provoked Vulrak into provoking Toimu. She had never seen Vulrak so upset, before. It seemed to stem from this Zaina issue. What were all of these mentions of Zaina? Then, she asked, "What is it with you and Zaina? What stopped you from being assaulted and when did this happen? You need to watch how you treat women, yes Vulcan women too. What happened? How did you get out of New Hope covered in the Wedding Gift?"

"Vulrak helped me out." Toimu said.

"And how did he resist the oil?" She wondered. Vulrak was a passionate being to begin with, and she knew a thing or two about the Wedding Gift's effects.

Toimu answered, plainly. "Vulrak never loses control."

"He did just now." Nyota pointed out.

Vulrak returned with the kit and handed it to Toimu. "Sober enough to do it yourself?"

"I can do anything drunk." Toimu said, accepting the kit, with an embarrassed smile.

Vulrak gave him a bemused look, then turned to leave the house. Nyota sat Sytar on Ashaki's lap and Styik immediately wrapped one arm about him. "I'll be right back," Nyota said. Styik did not break his meld with Ashaki.

Nyota went outside and chased Vulrak. He stopped and looked at her. "Hey, don't leave. It's just a little family feud."

"There are never any little family feuds in this family. I am not even one of the family, and I am generally right in the middle of the feud. I am not working tonight. I should not even be here."

"But, you are, so you must feel like you are welcome here. What happened between Zaina and Toimu?"

Vulrak sighed and stared at the ground, "Toimu and I went home with Zaina, after the bonfire, but I was elevated from all of the chocolate in my system. After that, she decided that she was interested in continuing the arrangement. I was not interested in it, so I did not mind that Toimu and she were together when I was not around. Zaina is a friend, that happens to help when I need it." Nyota nodded and kept her eyes on him as he vented, "So, when she decided that she wanted to just be with Toimu, that did not bother me either, but he didn't want to just be with her. He enjoyed being with her, but there are many women in New Hope and many of them are interested in Toimu. They always are interested in men who Zaina tries to keep. Zaina, by trying to stake a claim on him made him more desirable to the others, and Toimu has a low resistance to women."

"So that devil splashed Wedding Gift on him?" Nyota said.

Vulrak finished, "And kicked him out. Since then, I think that he has been embarrassed about it, because there has been tension between us. The tension was not present when we were sharing Zaina. The tension came after the oil incident. If you're wondering, I had to pull my arm out of socket to get him out of there. The physical pain and the adrenaline cancels out the effect of the oil. He claims he never would have done anything like that for me, but he's a friend and he's your brother…I was wrong to bring it up the way that I did, but I am just so tired of everything, right now, Nyota." She tilted her head. Vulrak never used her name. Tonight was proving to be a rather emotional night, and Spock was nowhere to be found to help her endure it.

Vulrak continued, "I am tired of going back and forth with Toimu. I am tired of taking abuse from Styik. I am tired of being there for you more than your husband and watching you retire for the evening with him every night. And I am tired of people mentioning Tirza around me, like she is nothing, and acting like because I am Vulcan that I can just shut off everything that I feel about her and the way that I think of her. Also, when I told Zaina, about the fantasies... I would like for you to understand, I did not mean for it to become a trashy idea. I happen to care greatly for both you and Tirza, and the thought of you two together is not one that I have with malicious intent, and not one that I have allowed to affect my responsibilities over your guard, or my level of command beneath Spock." Vulrak placed both of his hands on his forehead and said, "But, I am tired of Spock, in general. Spock should be here. I should not." He began to walk away, but Nyota gasped and Vulrak turned around. "What is it?"

"The boys! Something has happened." She rushed back into the house, feeling excitement coursing through her that she knew was not her own, as nothing she was doing had been cause for any excitement. Vulrak rushed in behind her.

The first thing Nyota saw was her boys, both smiling, excitedly. The second thing she saw was Ashaki, smiling right back at them. "Mama!" She said, nearly losing her balance as her knees weakened. Vulrak helped her walk over to her mother.

Toimu looked confused as he finished wrapping his foot. "What about Mama?" He asked Nyota. He looked over at Ashaki as she stood up, placing the two boys to stand as she did. Now he cried out, "Mama!" He limped over to her and reached her just as Nyota did and they both hugged her.

Ashaki sighed and asked, "Has anyone been walking me? My legs feel stiff, but they work, so, someone has been making sure that I move around."

"I've been walking you around, Mama." Toimu said proudly. She smiled warmly at him.

Nyota laughed and said, "I have to contact Baba and tell him to come home right away, before you go back."

"She isn't going back, Mother. Sytar and I have healed her." Styik said.

She smiled softly at him and told him, "I am going to contact your Grandfather Mwinyi." She pulled out her communicator and walked slightly over to the side. Styik picked up Sytar and walked over to her.

When she finished speaking with Mwinyi, Styik said softly, "Mother, I realize that it is difficult to believe, but Grandmother Ashaki is healed. She is not temporarily mended. Arev revealed it to me, that tonight, she would be healed."

"Arev?" Nyota repeated, looking at the wolf and Ashaki as Vulrak introduced the two of them. Nyota kneeled in front of Styik and asked, "How did Arev reveal it to you?"

"Arev communicates with me in a way similar to how Sytar does. I did not realize that I couldn't do it alone. I needed Sytar with me to reverse the accident. Mother, this will make no sense to you, but it was my hate that made her that way, damaged her... and it was my hate at it's strongest. I needed to touch her with my love at its strongest, and I could not share that without Sytar."

"I understand. Your love for your brother is your love at its strongest, but what makes you think that means that she is permanently fixed?" Nyota asked. She just did not wish to get her hopes up about the situation.

"I already told you that Arev revealed it to me, but apparently, you do not believe me. Apparently, you do not believe in me." He looked at the floor.

Nyota shook her head and said, "That is not the case. I am just trying to figure out what to tell your father. The information that I accept is not logical enough for him." She opened her communicator and said, "Spock."

"Is there a problem, Nyota?" Spock asked.

"No. Something wonderful has happened. You should be here." She said. She had a feeling that this would not be enough.

"What has happened?" Spock asked. He seemed uninterested.

"Styik and Sytar have managed to awaken my mother. Vulrak and Toimu are here, and Baba and Dr. T'Priu are on the way. You should come too." Nyota suggested.

"I have important business here, Nyota. I have witnessed Ashaki be mended before. While it is impressive that Styik would be the one to perform the process, you must keep in mind that he has overly sensitive telepathic abilities. It is interesting that he learned the technique so early, but it does not warrant that I leave the laboratory, during a crucial scientific observation." Nyota saw the disappointed look on Styik's face and it hurt her deeply.

Her voice was low, but it was stern. Letting her down was one thing, but letting down the boys was another, and she was not willing to allow it. "Spock, Styik wants you to be here. I want you here."

"Nyota, wants are irrelevant." Spock replied.

Now, she snapped, "You mean OUR wants are irrelevant. If Sarek wanted you here, you would be here."

Spock answered, calmly, "My father would not attempt to pry me away from important matters to suit something as frivolous as want, Nyota."

She took a deep breath, became angry and stated, "If you do not come, my feelings for you will change."

"I suggest that you try to understand the illogical nature of your request." She could hardly believe the eveness in his tone, even him, at a time like this. Not only had Styik come back home last night, but it was possible that her mother was officially back after over a year of living in a catatonic state. The fact that Spock would not come to be with her as she processed all of these things cut her very deeply.

"I may not come home tonight." She replied and shut her communicator.

Styik sighed and held out his hand to collect the device from her, "You used the wrong emotion to try to get him here."

"What do you mean?" She asked, absentmindedly handing the communicator to the boy.

He opened it and said, "Father, did something happen?"

"Styik, your mother told me about your accomplishment. You have done well. I will not be able to attend the gathering." Spock replied.

Styik suggested, "I think that you should try. Mother seems upset and Vulrak has had chocolate. It seems not to be a good combination, as you realize their closeness and fondness of each other." Nyota reached for the communicator, but Styik twisted to avoid her confiscation. "And she is very emotional right now. I am worried about what might happen if you are not here. V'tosh katur men generally find passionate human women irresistible in times of vulnerability."

"I will be there shortly, Son." Spock replied and Styik shut the communicator. He handed it back to Nyota.

She said, "You lied to your father."

"Ambassador Spock would call it implying." Styik answered.

"Do not use your father's jealousy to manipulate him."

"If I learned anything from Sybok, one must use the negative emotions to manipulate; it is a point that you have just seen proven." Styik answered, evenly. Sytar was not reacting with discord, therefore, Nyota assumed that he had no disagreements with his brother.

She made her thoughts clear. "I don't want you manipulating him at all."

"I will never understand your propensity to defend his feelings even when he has just clearly disregarded yours." Styik said. Nyota looked at the emerald eyed boy with black and gray hair and the golden baby with curly black hair, which he held. These were her sons, and she loved them. She would do anything for them, and the fact that they seemed to genuinely believe that their father did not care about her feelings saddened her.

Ashaki looked at them and asked, "Are you going to spend time with me, or not?"

Mwinyi held Ashaki in his arms and looked at his watch, again. The family was all seated in a circle, some in chairs, some on the floor and talking about subjects that Spock did not find remotely interesting or necessary. He was seated in a meditation pose with Sytar asleep on his shoulder. Styik was next to him, laying on Arev's back and Arev was asleep, as well. Nyota was on the other side of Spock, with her legs draped over him and leaning back against Vulrak, who was seated in a similar fashion as Spock. Spock noticed that Nyota was leaning against Vulrak, and she sat up, for the seventh time, and leaned forward to put her forward on Spock's free shoulder. She was sleepy, but she did not want to leave, for fear that she would return and her mother would be in a vegetative state.

"Nyota, we should leave, now. You are clearly in need of rest, the hour is quite late and the children both have need of rest, as well." Spock informed her.

Styik stated, "I am fine."

Ashaki said, "The boys can stay. You can lay Sytar down in the spare room. Styik can join him when he is ready for bed. I will make them breakfast in the morning." Mwinyi looked at his watch again. Ashaki laughed and said, "Mwinyi, stop looking at that thing. What will you do make a note of how long it took me to go back to that state. Stop worrying about it. Dr. T'Priu said that she could see no sign of the former condition present when she melded with me earlier."

"She also said that did not mean that it was gone." Mwinyi pointed out.

Spock said, "Nyota."

She jumped up from her light doze, then laughed at herself. "Alright, alright... We are going to go, Mama." She pulled herself up from the floor and went to hug her mother and father, for the night.

"Come see me tomorrow, too, Nyota." Ashaki said with a smile. She looked at Spock and said, "Bring me that baby, Spock." He obeyed. They made the arrangements for handling the next day and Spock and Nyota left. As they did, she dared a look at Vulrak, who was still seated on the floor, but was looking at the two of them leave. Spock noticed the look and gently urged Nyota towards the door.

Spock sat at the computer in the bedchamber and glanced at Nyota as she stirred, slightly in her sleep. "Spock." She mumbled. He watched her for a moment. A tiny smile flickered on her face and he sweltered with pride. He enjoyed knowing that she still dreamed of him. He decided to watch her for a moment longer. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders and she hugged a pillow tightly beneath her head. The bed sheet covered her only enough to cover the private areas, and left her thighs and shoulders exposed, her shoulders being covered only by her hair and peeking through it when she moved.

He abandoned the computer. His Nyota was far too beautiful to simply leave there, in that state. He wanted to touch her, now. Spock gently brushed the hair away from her shoulders and stroked a thumb across one of them, then kissed both. She smiled in her sleep. Spock climbed into the bed with his wife and wrapped his arms around her. He held her closely to him and buried his face in the back of her neck. Eventually, he went to sleep.

Spock turned to see a deep red fluid seeping through the cerulean colored dress that Nyota wore and he noticed the knife in her side. He looked up and saw Livingston, with a crazed smile on his face, then he did not see much else but red. Before he could think to try to calm himself, to subdue or render the man unconscious, he had Livingston's collar clenched in his fist and his other fist was pummeling his face. Livingston laughed at him, which only made him angrier.

"She's going to die!" The crazed scientist kept repeating through his beating, until he was too incoherent to speak any further. Spock threw him against the wall and slammed the back of his head into to the wall, repeatedly, all the while the images of Nyota and this monster together flooded his thoughts. The thought of Livingston's hands and lips on his Nyota just fanned the flames.

The thought of Nyota wanting this man made Spock hate him. For a moment, he did not even think about the fact that she had been assaulted, that she could be dying. He failed at his logic. He failed at self control. He slammed Livingston to the ground, where he fell near Nyota, covered in his own blood and he kicked him away from her. Then, he noticed Nyota. She had lost far more blood than he should have allowed her to lose. For his momentary lack of control, he could lose her and the thought suddenly terrified him...

Spock awoke with a start, which caused Nyota to jump up as well. She quickly cupped his face and asked, "What? What is it?" She looked into his eyes and he shut them tightly and pulled her close to him. She pressed his head to where he was laying on her shoulder and said, "Tell me, Spock, please? What is the problem?"

He spoke calmly and without any negative emotion, whatsoever as he said, "I could have lost you on Torvon III. I lost control and as a result, I nearly lost you." She squeezed him in her arms, not knowing how to respond.

She decided on, "Spock, I am still here and still yours. I will belong to you until I am dead."

"The thought of you being dead is not one which I wish to dedicate time to. I..." He simply squeezed her. After a moment, he let go of her and said, "I apologize for my outburst." He stood up and walked away from the bed.

"Spock, don't..." She began, and he paused to look at her. She said, "Don't shut off your emotions. Let me help you handle them. Show me how you feel."

He stared at her for a moment longer, then walked away as he said, "I have already shown you too much." Nyota climbed out of the bed and went after Spock.

She rushed into the hallway and said, "Spock." Spock turned to see her standing in only a sheer fragment of cloth, then Vulrak's door opened. Spock turned to see Vulrak look at Nyota.

Vulrak did not seem bothered by the fact that Nyota was not dressed and actually walked over to her to check on her. Spock rushed over towards him and Nyota intercepted him. She placed her hands on Spock's chest and said, "Come back into the room." She then looked at Vulrak and said, "Please leave us." Vulrak nodded and went back into his room. Nyota cupped Spock's face and said, "Spock." When she touched his face, she saw images of herself with Vulrak and felt the rage that this image created within Spock. She startled and removed her hands from his face.

"Is that what you wished for? Did you wish to see that, Nyota?" He asked, his tone sounded clear, but she had already felt the fury inside of him. He grabbed her hands and placed them on his head. "Is this what you wish for me to share with you?" She felt anger, discomfort, sorrow, jealousy, guilt... she could not find one positive emotion, until, just beneath it all, as though everything else had branched out from it and suffocated it like roots, love.

She felt it, trying to be free, being more powerful than any of the other emotions, but not strong enough to conquer them all on its own. She felt her heart pound and swell. She thought about her love, now. Her love for Spock, her love for Styik and Sytar, her love for the people on the Enterprise and her family, and then she thought about Spock's love for her. How it made her feel when he shared with her, how it made her feel to hear him declare his love, to see him show his emotion, no matter how bad, and she felt nothing but love for him, after a while. She could no longer feel any of the bad emotions coming from him, but only love between the two of them. She stared at him and asked, "You shut me off, didn't you? You have brought back up your shield."

He stared back at her and said, "No. You have changed what I was feeling."

"You let me." She said, then added, "Thank you."

"Certainly, this is a situation in which I must give you gratitude." Spock commented.

"If you really want to express some gratitude, share it with Styik. He taught me something about love tonight that I thought I knew, but just realized that I had forgotten."

"What is that?" Spock wondered.

"That it can conquer all. He healed Mama with it."

"It is undetermined that Ashaki is healed." Spock reminded her. She nodded her head, but her hopes were already up.

She took Spock's hand and said, "Come back to bed, and if you find yourself having a nightmare, let me love you through the pain." He sighed and nodded his head, feeling more at peace with himself than he had been in months.