AN: Stephanie Meyer Owns Twilight. I wish I thought of it first.

Enjoy chapter 7….

Yep, I ran. I left the warmth of Jacob's bed and walked across the large field that separated our two houses. I'm glad I had some flip flops in my purse, because it would have been a challenge walking home in heels. Leaving was hard, but I had to do it. There was no way I was gonna wake up to some lame ass excuse to why he couldn't commit to me. I wasn't even sure if that was what I wanted. I didn't wanna put strings on what we had. I tried to convince myself that this was a summer fling and would fade as soon as I got to Cali. I would have been able to accept that if it wasn't for the aching in my heart. As soon as I left, my body started craving him like a drug.

When I got into the house I went straight upstairs and got into the shower. I stood under the water, wondering how things got this way. If I didn't come back to La Push, I would have saved myself the trouble. Jacob Black would have stayed a distant memory. It was times like this that I missed my mom the most. The pain of her absence hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell to my knees in the tub and started sobbing. I missed her soo much. She was the only person I wanted to talk to right now, and I couldn't. I cried in the tub until the water ran cold. I got out and crawled into bed still wet. All I wanted to do was sleep. Hopefully I would get a better grasp on this once I woke up.

My cell woke me up a few hours later. I dreaded the call from Jake. I knew he wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Who in their right mind, runs from Jacob Black? It wasn't his fault. I wish I could tell him that I was damaged goods, that he couldn't want me. Chris took away my ability to trust any guy with my heart. He was the only guy that seemed interested in me for me. He listened to me when I told him about my dream of becoming a director. I met him my sophomore year in high school. His family had just moved from Baltimore, and he didn't know a soul in Louisiana. It reminded me of when we first moved here. I hung out with him and we clicked immediately. He acted like he was interested when I bored him with the different camera shots and editing techniques I described to him. When we were together, we had our whole lives planned. He wanted to be an actor and I would direct movies. We would move to NYC so that he could be on Broadway and I would go to NYU for undergrad and film school.

I put everything on us being together forever. When we both got accepted into NYU we were soo excited. We made love for the first time in his bedroom on that day. He was there with me when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I trusted him with my heart completely and never had a reason to question him. Little did I know, Chris was cheating on me the whole time. Once my mom was diagnosed, I started to apply to other schools that were closer to home. I wanted to go to NYU, but I couldn't leave my mom in the condition she was in. I went to his house to show him I got accepted into all the schools I applied for. I knocked on his door and this girl opens it. I thought she was a friend of his brother's.

"Hi, is Chris here?" I asked like the cheery fool I was. She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes.

"Chris, why is this girl asking for you?" she called inside the house. Chris came to the door with a surprised look on his face.

"Trina, you have to go," he said to her.

"Why I gotta go? Who the hell is she?"

"I was his girlfriend, but you can have his cheating ass!" I shouted as I walked away. I didn't let him see me cry. There was no way he was gonna see that.

"Nala, wait! It's not what it looks like," Chris shouted after me. I don't know what he thought it looked like, but to me it was catching my lying boyfriend red handed.

I ran home crying to my mom, who cried with me and held me until I was all cried out. I never spoke to Chris again. Of course he tried to call me and he even came to my house a few times. He begged my mom for any chance to talk to me. She told him I would speak to him when I was ready.

I blinked back tears as I rolled over in the bed and checked my phone. I did get a text from Jake.

"What happened?" he wrote. I couldn't answer that in a simple text, but I also wasn't ready to face him. Shit! I was supposed to see Leah and Emily today. I decided to send him a quick text.

"Can I see you later on tonight, at 7?"

He texted me back almost immediately "Sure. Is everything ok? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, we'll talk ltr I promise. Gotta go, meeting Leah in 30min," I sent him.

"K, call me if anything changes," he sent back.

I put on a white sleeveless cotton shirt and a blue peasant skit that fell to my ankles, threw my hair up into a messy bun and grabbed my car keys. It only took five minutes to get to Emily's. When I walked in the door, she was in the kitchen making waffles. I kissed her on the cheek as I grabbed a plate and started piling two waffles on it.

"Leah will be here in twenty minutes," I nodded and continued to eat. I'm glad she didn't pepper me with questions I didn't feel like answering.

"Go upstairs and check out the nursery, Sam's almost finished painting in there." she said pointing to the stairs. Once I finished eating I went upstairs to check it out. I opened the door and saw that the room was painted sky blue with clouds etched across three of the four walls. Against one wall was a white wood crib with blue bedding and a rocking chair. She had the matching dresser and changing table. There were several little sleepers on top of the dresser. I touched the soft cotton sleeves and imagined the day that I would actually hold my own baby. Who would he or she look like? My thoughts instantly went to Jake. I shook that thought out of my head as fast as it appeared. I closed the door to the nursery and made my way back down the stairs, just as Leah was walking in the door. She smiled at me and gave me a big hug. I felt the tears pour out of my eyes before she let me go.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Everything," I replied. She led me back into the kitchen where both she and Emily tried to comfort me.

"I just miss my mom. There are so many things I wish I could talk to her about."

"Aww, honey, that's normal. I was wondering when it was gonna hit you. You try to be so brave and strong for the rest of us. It's only been six months. Let it out," Emily said as she rubbed my back.

"Your mom would want you to be happy. You're getting ready to go to one of the top film schools in the country. Aunt Janet would have been bursting with pride." Leah added.

"I know, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. She worked so hard to make sure I got here. She sacrificed everything, even her own health to make sure I got what I wanted, "I cried.

They hugged me tighter as I cried. I knew I had to get this out of my system. They were right, all my mom wanted was for me to be happy. I felt as if my heart was ripped from my body when she died. Nothing could prepare me for life without her. I didn't have any family on my mom's side. If they were around, they didn't show up for her funeral. I had no idea if my grandparents were alive or if she had any brothers or sisters. Mom's past was a mystery to me, she never talked about it. She took me away from the only family I knew. Here I am all grown up and they are strangers to me. I needed answers, but before I could tackle that, I still had to face the problem I caused with Jake. I hope my cousins weren't expecting me to be good company. I dried my tears and went upstairs to clean up my face. When I came back, Emily made tea. She placed the cup in my hands and patted my shoulder. I sipped the warm liquid as I listened to Leah tell Emily about her wedding plans. Leah's wedding would take place next April. She wasn't giving herself much time to find a dress. She came over with a bunch of bridal magazines for us to look over. It was a great distraction from all my problems. Emily turned on some music and we sang along to songs as we picked out some of our favorites. By the time we left Leah had a few ideas of what type of dress she wanted. I hugged Emily goodbye and promised that we would have dinner during the week. Leah walked me to my car.

"Hey, my mom and Emily's mom are giving her a surprise baby shower. If you wanna help with the planning we're gonna meet at my mom's this week," she said.

"Okay, just call me and tell me which day. I'll come over after work."

"What's going on with you and Jake?"

"We went out last night," I said not wanting to add what happened later on. She looked at me for a second.

"You can't blame every guy for one's fuck ups, believe me I know. You remember how it was before I met Isaiah."

"Yeah, I remember," I said. I gave her a hug and got into my car. I was gonna go home, but I felt like I needed to see Jake right now. No sense in prolonging it.

I pulled up to his house and saw his truck and the Mustang parked in front. I walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. He opened it and stood in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of low slung basketball shorts. Why was his body so distracting?

"Hi," I whispered.

"Hey," he replied. We stood there in awkward silence.

"Jake, I'm sorry I left the way I did. It's just…" I stopped myself. Did I want to tell him I couldn't give him my heart?

"Nala, I thought I hurt you. I didn't know what to think, when I woke up you were gone."

"I know," I replied as tears welled in my eyes.

"What's wrong Nala? You know you can talk to me," he said.

"I went home today and realized that the one person I wanted to talk to was gone," I cried.

"Come here," he said taking me into his arms. I held on to him and cried. He brought me into the house and we sat on the couch. I leaned against his chest feeling him breathe. He rubbed my shoulder as I cried. I was soo sick of crying.

"Nala, you know I'm here for you," he said. I nodded.

"You know, my mom passed away when I was five. I was soo confused. My dad was too upset to tell us what happened. Your Uncle and Aunt sat me and my sisters down and told us. It took me months before I believed she was never coming back. I still miss her."

I looked at him and noticed there were tears in his eyes too.

"Jake, I've been hurt before. My ex was my first love and he cheated on me. He was there for me when my mom was first diagnosed with cancer. He held me and told me he would never lie to me. It turns out that he lied the entire time. I gave him everything and he didn't give a damn about using me," I said hearing the bitter tone my voice took.

"He was an asshole for doing that to you, when you needed him the most."

I took off my shoes and tucked my feet under me. Jake held me tighter. I needed this. It felt good to be held. We sat in silence for a while.

"Thank you," I said breaking the silence.

"That's what I'm here for. Hey, are you hungry?" he asked.

"Yes, I guess I could eat something."

He got up and walked to the kitchen. I heard him rummage through the fridge and cabinets. Soon he came back with a couple of sandwiches and sodas. He passed me a plate and turned on the TV. We ate and watched TV in silence. After we finished our sandwiches I helped him clean up.

"Hey, you feel like taking a walk?"

"Sure," I replied. I was all cried out and was feeling a little better. I didn't want to ruin my whole day. We walked out the house and started across the field that separated our houses. The field led to a small trail. I looked around taking in the scenery. It had rained earlier, but now the sun was setting.

"Can I ask you something?" Jake asked.

"Yes."

"Why did you leave this morning?"

"I'm not sure what you want from this, from me. I got scared and ran."

"Nala, I'm not trying to play with your feelings. I like you." I don't know why that statement struck a nerve, but it made me stop in my tracks.

"So you never liked any one of your flings?" I asked.

"I was wrong for some of the things I did in the past. I can honestly say I never felt for them, the way I do for you."

"Jake, I don't want you to fall for me. I'm leaving remember?"

"Yeah, I remember because that's all you keep saying. I know you're leaving in a month. How can you tell me not to fall for you? Especially since you're denying your own feelings? Look me in my eyes and tell me you feel nothing for me."

I didn't want to look into those eyes and lie to him. I was falling in love with him. I just couldn't tell him that. It would be better if I just walked away right now before we both got hurt.

"I can't. I do have feelings for you. But what difference does it make? Your whole life is here and mine is in California. What type of selfish person would I be to tell you to give it all up for me?"

"Nala, what I have here are material things. I can buy another house, start another business, but I'll never have another you."

"I can't let you do that," I said.

"You have no say. I'm older than you, remember?" he said, with a grin. I couldn't help but smile back. Damn it! How does he do that?

He took my hand and led me down the trail. I could hear the ocean getting closer. We stepped out of the tree line and ended up on First Beach. The air had turned chilly. I shivered and rubbed my arms to warm up.

"Are you cold?" Jake asked. I nodded. He sat in the sand and motioned for me to sit between his legs. When I sat down, he wrapped his arms around me and instantly I felt warm.

"Is that better?"

"Much."

We sat there in silence and watched waves crash against the shore. I was enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. He kissed me on the neck and rubbed my shoulders.

"Nala I don't want this to end. I know we haven't spent a lot of time together. I can't describe it, I just know I want you in my life."

A familiar feeling of uneasiness came over me. Why did he have to say that?

"I have some vacation time coming up. I could take off and help you move if you want," he offered. I could hear a nervous tone in his voice. I think he was anticipating some form of rejection. I wouldn't do that to him. I figured long distance relationships never work, and sooner or later we would drift apart. I would enjoy whatever this was for as long as it lasted.

"Sure, then you can meet my crazy new roommate," I replied.

"I'd like that."