A/N: I'm so sorry I've been so slow to update recently guys, inspiration has been kinda running low. Thank you again to everyone who's got this on alert and to everyone who has stuck it out with me - it really means a lot! Enjoy, and lemme know what you think :)

A/N2: (Oh and this chapter is named after Ron Pope's A Drop In The Ocean. If you haven't heard it, check it!

27. A Drop In The Ocean

'Lucy Quinn Fabray?'
Hazel eyes stop tracing the pointless orange squares on the grey carpet. A nervous foot stops bouncing. She looks up, taking in the blonde woman in her late fifties standing in the doorway.
The woman wears a kind smile. 'Would you like to come in?'
Reluctantly Quinn gets to her feet and steps toward the woman. Her chest feels uncomfortably tight; the physiotherapist pushed her unusually hard on the treadmill that morning. The woman steps aside and welcomes Quinn into the room.

It took a second for Quinn's eyes to adjust to the dimmed light. The main light in the room was switched off; the only light in the room coming from two lamps sitting on a desk underneath the window.
She looked to her right. A small round table sat between a royal blue couch filled with cushions and a matching armchair opposite. Quinn half turns and the woman is patiently watching her get her bearings. After a long pause, she speaks again.
'Hug or handshake?' she smiles. Quinn freezes. The woman maintains her warm smile. 'I always like to start and finish a session with a hug or a handshake.'
Quinn tensed. She was already way out of her comfort zone, and now this stranger wanted to hug her?
The other blonde reached out a hand, noticing Quinn's physical response to her question. 'Handshake then? I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable here.'
Quinn reluctantly stuck out her hand. The other woman's hand enveloped Quinn's feeling soft and warm with a slight squeeze. Comforting. She smiled at Quinn finally responding to her. She directed a hand towards the couch.
'Sit, please. Make yourself comfortable.' She spoke softly, almost as if not to startle Quinn. Quinn shuffled over to the couch beside them and sat carefully, the woman taking a seat in her matching armchair. She looked down at the small stack of papers in front of her on the table. She looked back to Quinn.
'I hope you don't mind, but there are just a few routine things I have to check. It's boring but it'll just take a few minutes. Is that okay?'
Quinn nodded but stayed silent, her body language tense.
'You are Lucy Quinn Fabray, aren't you?'
She nodded again. 'Yes, I'm Quinn Fabray.'
'Is that what you prefer?'
'Yes.'
The woman nodded in recognition with a small smile. 'Very well. My name is Diane, but you can call me Di if you prefer, most people do.' The only recognition Quinn gave was another nod.
'What is your date of birth Quinn?'
'July 14th 1994.'
Diane nodded. 'Are you from Los Angeles? I don't pick up a Californian accent with you…'
Quinn shook her head. 'Originally I'm from Lima, Ohio.'
Diane looked surprised. 'Originally?'
'I moved to New York to go to college when I was 18. I live there now.'
'Oh that's fantastic!' Di beamed. 'Which college?'
'NYU.' Quinn answered shortly.
'And what brings you to L.A. Quinn…?'
Quinn went visibly tight lipped. She hesitated before answering carefully. 'An old friend.'
Diane's kind smile re-appears. 'Are you visiting them?'
Quinn looked down at her hands sitting intertwined in her lap. 'You could say that.'
'And what do you mean by that Quinn?'
She huffed, a little irritated. 'I thought I was here to get me to talk about what happened?'
'That will happen; I'm just trying to find out a little more about you.'
Quinn rolled her eyes slightly. She knew she wasn't going to get out of this quickly.

She walked briskly along the sidewalk. She heard the beep of the answer phone, and just prayed that the message would be received soon.
'San, Jimmys, fifteen minutes. Be there.' She hung up and dropped her cellphone back into her messenger bag. She pulled her coat closer around her frame and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

Jimmys was a small bar that wasn't too popular, but it had some good music and the girls had grown to consider it their own little place. The hospital was a little while away from the bar by foot but Quinn needed some time to clear her head so she skipped the bus ride.

When she finally arrived, Santana was already there, leaning against the red brick of the small building. She walked down the side alley towards the side entrance they normally used. They'd grown to know James the barman quite well so he just let them come in the side whenever they visited. Santana took a final drag of her cigarette and threw her hands up in exaggerated exasperation.
'Finally! Jesus Fabray where you been?'
Quinn sighed. 'I'll explain.' She nodded towards the door. 'We in?'
Santana stubbed out her cigarette against the asphalt of the parking lot and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her grey slacks. She nodded. 'Come on.'

They stepped through the black door into the dingy little bar. AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long played to itself from the jukebox. The girls looked at each other and laughed. It was the first song they heard the first time they'd discovered Jimmys. They both headed for the bar, Santana leaning against it attracting James' attention. Who could blame him, Santana turned heads wherever she went. Her white button down was unbuttoned low enough to show some cleavage, but not enough to be indecent. Her collarbone shimmered underneath the lights over the bar.
'Hey James!' she grinned. 'Two rum and cokes?'
He grinned back at her. Quinn had always suspected that he had a little crush on Santana. 'Comin' right up!'

They sat together in a booth nearby, sitting side by side. James brought over their drinks and they agreed to add them to their tab. Quinn fished her cherries out of her drink; she never understood why James put them in every time. As usual, Santana claimed the cherries from the blonde's napkin. Taking one of them into her mouth, her tongue smoothed over the dark red surface. Her teeth squeezed the skin, juice oozing out of the broken skin. Quinn smiled to herself. Suddenly it became so clear why James insisted on always giving them both cherries, despite knowing Quinn didn't like them much.
Quinn tore her eyes away, looking down into her drink. Her fingers traced the cool condensation forming on the outside of the glass tumbler. She saw a tanned finger come into her field of vision. Santana flicked her hand.
'Hey Q, you okay…?'
Quinn looked up brightly, fixing a smile. 'Yeah I'm good, how was work?'
Santana shrugged. She wasn't really there to make small talk about clients and work and they both knew that.
'Crap as usual. You actors love to moan!' She got Quinn to smile a little more genuinely. 'Seriously, what's up Q?'
She could never hide from the Latina; they were both the same side of the same coin. She looked down again into her drink. 'Physio was hard this morning. The therapist was a bust.'
A look of realisation spread across Santana's face. 'Oh god I'm sorry Q I completely forgot! I meant to call you this morning before your appointment.'
Quinn shook her head. 'Don't worry about it, I was running late this morning anyway. I probably wouldn't have even answered the phone.'
Santana raised an eyebrow. 'To me you would!'
Quinn rolled her eyes with a small smile. 'Of course I would…'
Santana nodded satisfied. 'That's better. What happened with the therapist?'
Quinn watched her own finger trace the glass. 'It was just the introduction session, but I can tell she's gonna get under my skin.'
Santana's brow furrowed. 'How come?'
'She's just one of those people. They're all calm and welcoming and they just sneak in to your shit.'
'I thought you were going because of the accident...'
Quinn nodded. 'Me too. She says she's just trying to 'find out a little bit more' about me.'
'Does that mean she'll ask about...?'
Santana didn't even have to say it; Quinn knew exactly who she was referring to. She answered simply. 'Yeah.'
The brunette picked up her glass tumbler. She knew Quinn. She knew when was time to talk, and when was time to just do. She turned and motioned for Quinn to pick up her glass. They clinked glasses, the ice shifting as they raised them to their mouths. Santana nodded to her, and they both downed the dark brown liquid as fast as they could.

The drinks kept coming in quick succession, courtesy of James. Santana used the dark liquid to shrug off the demanding and whiny actors and actresses she had to put up with all day. Quinn used it to drown out everything. Including that little voice in her head telling her to slow down, that sounded remarkably like Rachel Berry.

The dark wood jukebox in the corner clicked and crackled before the familiar sound of Ron Pope began to ooze into the room. Quinn and Santana both smiled at the significance of the song. 'A Drop In The Ocean' played the first time the girls had wandered into Jimmys bar. Quinn and Rachel had been having problems, and Santana was sick of Quinn's whining so she decided to drag her blonde best friend to the nearest bar she could find. It played the next time they came to the bar. Quinn had lured Santana to the bar with a promise of heavy amounts of liquor when she'd had enough of Santana's moping over Brittany. Some sort of nostalgia drifted around the two best friends as the song played out in the bar.

Santana's judgement was severely impaired when she slurred the words. Normally Santana was the one to give Quinn advice, and not the other way around. She swallowed thickly around the dark liquid burning a trail down her throat.

She looked down into her glass. 'Britt bailed.'

Quinn nearly choked on her own drink at the news. 'Again? I thought you guys were a sure deal…?'

Santana shrugged. 'Me too. I dunno Q, I mean she seemed so into it, and now it's as if she doesn't wanna know me.'

Quinn slid her hand over Santana's. 'Sure she does San, she's probably just scared…'

'She shouldn't be; she knows she's got me.'

Quinn rubbed her hand. 'I know, just try to be patient…?'

'It's just hard Q…' A single tear trickled down Santana's cheek. Quinn was a little startled, her best friend hardly ever cried. She gently wiped the tear away with the pad of her thumb.

Santana sniffed and hiccupped quietly. Quinn tried to smile sympathetically. 'I know San, believe me I know.'

Quinn embraced Santana in a tight hug, wrapping herself around the other girl. This is what she needed. She just needed to feel close to someone, someone that she knew wouldn't judge her. It used to be Rachel. She used to feel the warm soft weight of Rachel against her, and the gentle scent of coconut that would waft from that dark impeccably shiny hair.

Santana pulled back and there was a shift. Call it too much liquor. Call it a lack of judgement. Quinn blinked, and she felt the familiar sensation of soft lips on hers. Of dark hair casting a shadow around them. Of a pouty bottom lip brushing against hers. Of soft skin against hers. For a moment she remembered how it all felt. Her heart ached in her chest remembering it all. The music played absently around them, and it echoed within Quinn.

I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most
Cause you are my heaven

Once they'd both come back to some sort of sense they broke apart and looked guiltily at each other.

Di smiled warmly as usual. 'Good afternoon Quinn, welcome back.'

She always had physical therapy in the morning to help her chest, and the therapy sessions in the afternoon. Kill two birds with one stone or whatever.

Quinn reluctantly shook her hand. 'Hi.'

She gestured for Quinn to sit. 'How does it feel coming in today?'

Quinn shrugged nonchalantly. 'The same.'

Quinn detected an almost frown on Di's face. 'Still not comfortable?'

It had been weeks since Quinn had started seeing Diane, and every week she would wonder if it would get any easier. She'd wonder when she would finally stop feeling so awkward, so completely out of her comfort zone.

Quinn shook her head, so Diane pressed on. 'Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?'

Quinn shook her head once more. 'It's nothing to do with you. I just…I'm not good with this sorta stuff…'

She looked intrigued. 'What sort of stuff Quinn…?'

'Talking about stuff.'

'Opening up?'

Quinn nodded. 'Yeah. Yeah stuff like that.'

'Then may I take the lead today? I normally let you take the lead, let you take me to where you want to talk about. But I do want to talk with you about something, something which I sense you wouldn't open up to me about directly…' Quinn just sat staring down into her cupped hands in her lap as usual. Diane decided to press on. 'I think we should talk about your relationship with Rachel today Quinn…' she spoke gently as ever.

That got her attention. Quinn's head jerked up, almost a reflex on hearing the brunette's name. She looked directly at the therapist, something she didn't do too often. Diane smiled. She knew Rachel's name would get a reaction. They'd skirted around their relationship in their sessions for weeks and Diane knew it was something that they'd have to come to eventually. She knew it would take a little pushing which wasn't normally her style, but she knew Rachel was the key to Quinn's breakthrough.

'When did you meet Rachel…?'

'At a NYU Violet's game when we were both freshman.'

Diane smiled. 'Is that a sports team…?'

'It's the basketball team at NYU. Puck is a big sports fan. When we met Rachel was with him at the game.'

'And did you both become friends after that…?'

'Yeah, we saw each other quite a lot.'

'And when did you start to develop feelings for her…?'

Quinn shrugged. 'I don't know.' Diane tilted her head to the side, and Quinn took that as her cue to continue. 'It was never something I saw coming. It'd never happened to me before.'

'That must have been scary for you…'

'At first,' Quinn nodded. 'At first it was. I guess I tried to deny it.'

'And how was that…?'

'I didn't let myself think about her. I'd always encourage myself to think about other people. Other…other guys…'

'Why just guys Quinn…?'

'My parents are both catholic nutjobs. Thinking about girls like that is unheard of in our house.'

'But you're not living in that house anymore Quinn…' Quinn's mouth remained shut, her face stoic. 'And when did Rachel feel that way about you in return…?'

Quinn shook her head. 'I don't know. It all kinda started as an accident. She was still with Puck, and I was just fooling around with another girl. I told myself that it was okay to just have my 'college experience'. I don't think either of us knew what it was gonna turn into.'

'And this 'Puck'…he found out about it…?'

She nodded. 'Eventually.'

'How is your relationship with him now?'

'I thought it was ruined.'

'How do you mean…?'

Quinn sighed. 'How do you forgive your best friend for taking the girl you love?'

'A good friend would understand. As I understand he sat by your bedside until you woke up. He obviously still values your friendship Quinn.'

'I was on the phone with him before it happened.'

'Your accident?'

Those two words hit Quinn deep within her chest. It had been weeks since the accident, but the memory was still there, untreated, waiting in the back of her mind. She felt breathless, unsteady whenever she thought about it. Quinn knew the wound needed to be sterilized, however hard it was going to be. Diane waited patiently. Quinn was getting there, slowly but surely.

Quinn looked to the little round table. A box of white Kleenex sat waiting for her hand to dip into the box, and a small glass of water invited her to take a sip. She knew she had to do this. She had to talk about it once and for all.

Diane smiled, interrupting her swirling thoughts. 'Just take your time Quinn; this is a safe space for you.'

Quinn took a breath through her nose. 'I'd been to see Rachel. We'd been for a drink, to catch up y'know? And then we went back to her place. Things took a turn for the worst and I left. Puck called me when I left and I was walking across the street and I didn't see the car coming. I went to hang up and then I don't remember much else.'

'What do you mean by 'a turn for the worst'?'

'I came to L.A. for her, to get her back into my life. When things finally started to work out…or at least I thought they were…things just completely fell apart.'

'And why did you decide you wanted her back into your life?'

'She's the first person I ever fell in love with.'

'Do you have any sort of a motto within your life Quinn?' Quinn shrugged absently, feeling the strain of the conversation weighing down on her shoulders. 'Can I suggest one that I think will help you…?'

Quinn nodded. 'If things with you and Rachel are meant to work out, they will. But sometimes…they don't work out Quinn. And sometimes they're not meant to…'