Chap. 4: Birthdays- December 04

The house was dark as Faith crept inside. It was long past Nevaeh's bedtime, and it seemed Buffy had headed up as well instead of waiting up for her. Not that she blamed the blonde, they'd had an exhausting weekend, and their almost four year old daughter could be a handful when she wanted to be.

Kicking off her shoes and leaving them next to the door, she headed up the stairs in sock covered feet to be as quiet as possible. Even sound asleep Buffy would likely still hear or feel her, but luckily Vaeh wasn't that tuned into the Slayer yet. Stopping first into her daughter's room, she placed a gentle kiss on the little girl's forehead, whispering a 'sleep tight' to her.

As she watched as her child slept, her mind wandered. She hated every night she wasn't home to put their little girl to bed. At the same time, she wasn't like B, she couldn't just not patrol every once in a while, and she knew it was important that she take the younger generation out to learn and gain experience. The only nice thing was she always got weekends off. She made it clear to everyone that weekends were time for her to spend with her family.

Buffy had for the most part retired from active duty, as it were. She taught classes and shared her experiences, but she no longer patrolled unless she was needed for some reason. She accepted that she'd never have a completely normal life long ago, but since they'd gotten married, she wanted to try. For their daughter as well as herself. They joked that she was the stay-at-home mom, while Faith was the working dad.

Assured that Nevaeh was sound asleep and safe, Faith made her way to her own room. Buffy's breathing told her she was only lightly dozing, something she did when she was tired, but was waiting for Faith to get home.

The brunette quickly got ready for bed, before slipping in between the sheets and pulling Buffy into her side. She always felt better, and slept more deeply when her wife was tucked into her.

"You're home," she felt more than heard mumbled into her shoulder.

Leaning down, she placed a lingering kiss on the blonde's smooth forehead. "I am."

"Good," was almost yawned.

"Go back to sleep, B."

Buffy nuzzled her head over Faith's shoulder a few times before finally opening her eyes and looking up into Faith's own. "No, I wanna talk."

"Talk, about what?"

"Anything. I missed you today."

"I always miss you," she whispered into golden hair, placing another kiss into the locks. She couldn't help herself, she was always kissing Buffy somewhere.

When silence descended upon them, she figured out quickly that Buffy didn't want to talk so much as she wanted Faith to talk to her. Her wife loved it when she told her things, didn't matter what it was, she just loved hearing Faith's voice she'd once told her. And there had been something on her mind lately that she hadn't had the time to share.

"Do you know why I came to Sunnydale?"

"Because Kakistos was after you?" Buffy teased.

"Well yeah," Faith acknowledged. "I mean that's why I left Boston, but if I just wanted to get lost I would have hit New York or something."

"So why'd you choose Sunnydale?" Buffy asked, suddenly interested. They'd never talked about that first meeting and for the most part, she never really thought about it. Mostly because the two women they were now, who loved each other, were so far removed from the scared teenagers they'd been back then.

"You, B," Faith said, moving her head almost as if she was using it to point to the other Slayer. "You weren't the oldest Slayer to live yet, but my Watcher couldn't stop talking about how it was looking like you would be, as well as the greatest Slayer to ever live. As much as she seemed to care about me, she was like… your biggest fan."

Faith paused, taking a breath. "So, a part of me was jealous and had to see if you were really as amazing as she said. Part of me, the cocky part, wanted to prove I was better than you. But the part I would never have admitted to was that I wanted to learn from you.

"I ended up screwing it all up anyway. When…" she stopped, sucking back the tears that threatened to fall. Seeing this, Buffy scooted up, changing their positions so she was now holding the younger woman, comforting her, letting her know it was okay to go on.

"When I killed Finch, I felt it, just as you did. But I couldn't let it out, so I held it inside. Admitting it, would make me weak, and I couldn't be weak in front of you. I didn't understand what that decision would do to me. How much it would destroy me."

Buffy's heart ached for the kid Faith had been. She'd needed so much from them back then. But they weren't adults, they weren't psychologists, they were all just teenagers who barely thought past themselves. And it almost cost Faith everything. She placed a kiss into Faith's hair, and then another, and another, trying to take her pain away. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"Yes I do. We failed you back then. I failed you."

"Sometimes I wish I could go back and change all it. You think we might have had a chance then?"

"No I don't," Buffy told her honestly. "Do I wish the incident with Finch never happened? Sure, no one deserved to die like that. But I wouldn't purposely change it. We wouldn't have Nevaeh, and without her, I don't think we'd have ever gotten together."

Faith looked at Buffy, trying not to be upset at the idea of them never getting together. She couldn't live without Buffy in her life, and she knew her wife felt the same, so how could she be saying this. "Why do you say that?" she asked, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her.

"A lot of reasons, mainly because I still consider myself straight for one. I LOVE YOU," she emphasized, "but if God forbid anything happened to you and I even entertained the idea of dating again, which I doubt I would, I think I'd go back to men." Buffy didn't believe she could bare being with anyone after Faith, they were soul-mates as cheesy as it sounded. But what she didn't say was, she'd go back to men, because no woman would ever be Faith.

"But the biggest reason is, I didn't fall in love with you because you were a man, or a woman. I fell in love with you because you loved our child enough to send her to me even when you hated me. I fell in love with you, while watching you baby talk to her, and take joy at her milestones even when you couldn't be with her. I fell in love with the person, that even though everyone was trying to tell her she didn't belong in prison anymore, refused to leave, believing she needed to finish her sentence, even if it cost her life with her daughter. I fell in love with you as a mother, and then as a friend. Without her, I wouldn't have dropped my pride enough to let that happen."

Faith knew she was probably right. Being a mother to the cutest little girl in the world changed them both. It was those changes that made them open to loving each other.

"I turned myself in for you. I mean I did it for myself, but I did it because I knew you were right."

"You knocked down a piece of the wall I'd built for you that day. I was proud of you," Buffy admitted. "So, you want to know what your daughter did while you were gone?" she asked with a laugh, changing the subject. They'd had enough deep talk for the time being.

The two Slayers laughed and talked for over an hour before succumbing to much needed sleep.

~BF~

"Mommy, Mama!" A much too eager for this time of the morning, little girl, yelled from the other side of the closed door.

"Come in, baby," Buffy called, knowing their door was unlocked. Even when they did lock it for some alone time, they usually remembered to at least put some clothes back on and unlock the door before they fell asleep. They were slowly training Vaeh to knock before she entered their room, but sometimes she forgot.

"It party day?" the tot asked, crawling onto the bed between her mothers.

"Go back to sleep," Faith growled, rolling over and trying to go back to sleep.

"Yes it's party day," Buffy whispered, answering Vaeh's question. They were having a birthday/bachelorette party for Nevaeh and Faith's birthday, and Willow and Tara's wedding. The two witches had decided they didn't want to wait too long before getting married and had spent the last few months quickly planning everything. It just made sense to combine all three events into one big celebration. "But it's not for awhile, so why don't you cuddle up with me for a bit?"

"Otay," the girl agreed, burrowing down into Buffy's side. She couldn't believe their little girl was turning four in just a couple days. She hugged Nevaeh close to her, breathing in the still lingering baby smell. She told Faith the truth last night when she said she didn't think under different circumstances they'd still be together. But she couldn't imagine life getting any better than this. She had the woman she loved with all her heart, and the daughter they'd unintentionally created together.

Soon, maybe they'd have another baby in their family. Willow was still working on a spell to help make that happen, but she assured them she believed it was possible, just to give her time so she could be sure nothing could go wrong. They remained patient, knowing the redhead was also focused on her own wedding, and they couldn't fault her for that.

As Vaeh fell back asleep, Faith unconsciously rolled back over and cuddled into both girls. Buffy smiled, watching Faith sleep. She looked so young when she was rested and relaxed. Not that she looked old, but their life tended to show on both their faces when they were awake. Running a hand gently through Faith's hair, she let the moment wash through her and pull her back into slumber.

~BF~

"You sure this is a good idea, B?" Faith asked, just as they were about to leave for the party.

"What is?"

"Isn't Vaeh a little young to be going to a bachelorette party?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. Her wife was such the over protective parent. "It's not just a bachelorette party, it's also a birthday party for the both of you. You know this. And you also already know that before it starts to get a little more adult, some of the younger Slayers have agreed to baby-sit."

Faith just nodded her head. Neither one of them were big partiers, but she knew there'd be lots of drinking later and she wanted to partake, but she also wanted to be a good example to her daughter. "Okay good."

"Good, now grab the presents so we can get out of here before we're late."

Sometimes her wife could sure be bossy, Faith thought to herself, as she went into the living room to grab the bag of presents Buffy had packed. There was only a few, Faith had already opened the more 'private' ones from Buffy, and they were saving some of Nevaeh's for her actual birthday.

As usual, Nevaeh was the center of attention, and spoiled rotten as the party went on. Nobody could seem to resist the charm of the precocious child. They'd have to throw out pretty much all of her old toys to make room for all the new ones she'd gained. Currently she was also the only child on the compound, but that was going to change soon. A few of the older Slayers were currently pregnant, although as far as they could tell, none of their children would be as gifted as the littlest Summers, showing how special she really was.

Most of the Slayers however, tended to couple up with each other. Especially the younger ones. It seemed the younger you got your powers, the more likely it was you'd gravitate towards one like you. It wasn't a gay thing, it was finding someone who understood you.

And as Buffy found herself watching her sister once again, she wondered if it was the same for Dawn. She wasn't a Slayer, but she was more than human. "Hey, sis, got a minute?" she asked, pulling her away from her friends.

"What's up?" the younger girl asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. I've been watching you, for awhile if I'm honest, watching you and Kennedy. You can tell me anything you know?"

Dawn sighed loudly. She'd honestly been wondering if Buffy would ever bring this up. They might not technically live together anymore, but they still saw each other almost daily. It was bound to happen that she'd see something.

"There's nothing to tell, not really."

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked, knowing there was more to that simple statement.

"It means I'm not gay, and well Kennedy clearly is."

Buffy had to stop herself from laughing, remembering her conversation with Faith the night before. Instead, she put a gentle hand on Dawn's shoulder. "Honey, being gay or straight has no bearing on the person you're in love with. I've come to learn that. Do you think I'm gay?"

Dawn just shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, I wouldn't have thought so at one time."

"I wouldn't have either, and yet I have a wife. A wife I might add that I love more than any guy I tried to date. She understands me in a way that no one else ever could, and loves me for who I am. That's what makes her right for me. Do you have that with Kennedy?"

The younger Summers took a minute, really thinking about it. "I think I do. But I have no idea what to do about it."

"You need to talk to her about it."

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"Trust me, she does. I used to watch her, back in Sunnydale, when she first came to stay with us. She was such a rich little brat, but then I'd catch her looking at you. And she's really changed over time. Just talk to her," the blonde encouraged again.

Dawn chose that moment to hug her sister to her. "Thank you, Buffy. I will, I promise."

"Anytime, I love you, Dawnie."

"I love you, too."

Buffy just smiled as she watched her sister walk back over to join her group. Her little sister was growing up. Next thing she knew she'd be giving dating advice to her own daughter. She hoped that didn't happen for a very long time.