Disclaimer: I am nearly the same age as Harry Potter and couldn't possibly have written it. Unless time travel becomes real in the future and I go back and change my name and nationality, then get stuck. Still, I'm pretty sure I'm not the author of the original Harry Potter series.
A/N: Hi! I'm off work today, so I'm updating EVERYTHING! Cringe at my awesomeness. CRINGE! And now enjoy this alternate ending to my fan-based parody of Harry Potter. Tata, earthlings.
The next morning, Bobbi woke up in Severus's arms, and for the first time in her life, she knew she was exactly where she belonged. She looked into his peaceful, sleeping face and smiled, recognizing the smile she'd met last night still present on his lips. She snuggled closer into him, and he breathed in deeply. His eyelids fluttered and he looked down into the face of an angel. His smile grew and he kissed her lightly.
"100,000 points to Slytherin," he said, and she giggled.
"Maybe if we had done this when I was still your student, we would have won the House Cup," Bobbi joked, and Snape rumbled a laugh.
Snape checked the time and found it to be 8:43.
"I'm sure Gregory's looking for me," Bobbi sighed, getting out of bed.
"You had us worried," Snape replied, joining her on the floor to help her find her clothes, "No one knew where you had gone. Mel thought you might have left permanently, and Draco had to hex him to make him stop crying. I don't even remember you wearing this," Snape added, throwing her a silk tank top.
"I think we were a little preoccupied," Bobbi smirked, putting her clothes on. "But I'll make sure to come to breakfast just as soon as I'm properly dressed. You should hurry along and act like you didn't know I was back yet either. It will cut down on suspicion."
Snape grabbed her wrist gently as she turned to Apparate, pulling her into a brief kiss before letting her go.
In the Dining Hall, Bobbi casually made her way to her regular seat, acting as though she'd never disappeared. She smiled at her friends and dug eagerly into her eggs. But her friends would not have that.
"Where were you?" several of them bombarded her at once.
"Eating," she said simply in her innocent-little-girl voice, a naïve smile complimenting it.
"For three nights?" Goyle demanded.
"I got a little distracted," she chirped, chomping on her bacon, "There was this really delicious smell to one – it kind of sang to me – and I had to chase it quite a ways before I –"
"Alright!" Mel squealed, clamping his hands over his ears, "I've heard enough. Just let me eat without the images."
Bobbi continued to eat her breakfast, and no one broached the subject again.
"You seem much happier, Bobbi," Phil noted when conversation lulled.
"I am," she chirped, "I just ate."
"Perhaps we should feed you more," Blaise snickered, but the others disapproved.
"She eats too much as it is," Crabbe argued, "It's not fair that she becomes a man-eating monster twice a month." A few of the boys who understood female anatomy snickered, and Bobbi high-fived Crabbe for the best joke he'd ever told.
After breakfast, Bobbi took Gregory aside to a secluded room. "There are some things I must speak with you about."
"Anything," Gregory smiled supportively, hoping that she had decided to take their relationship to the ultimate state that all men desired.
"I did some soul-searching while I was absent," she started without hesitation or fear, "because I've been struggling with my emotions and figuring out my future after the Death Eaters. The more time I spent away from here, the clearer my mind became until it was so un-muddled that I knew exactly what I needed to do and had no option but to come back and begin righting things. I realized that I want to get this part of my life over as soon as possible, that as soon as I find a place for everyone else and tie up all these loose ends, I want to leave the Lair and never return. But I realized that I couldn't forget the pain I've experienced here if I had a constant reminder of it in my life after I left."
Goyle's face fell. "What are you saying?"
"I don't think we'd work out, Gregory. Maybe if we'd met at a different place in a different time, we could have been together. But I can't take you now where I want to go. It's best that we remain friends and don't further our relationship."
Goyle's eyes began to water violently. "I thought we had something special."
"We do. But it's meant only to be an intimate friendship, nothing more. You know that I love you, but I can't be in love with you. I think you suspected that already."
He gave a slight nod, "I've been aware of it for some time; I just hoped you hadn't. What am I supposed to do without you?"
"I promise you, because I know you and I know the world, that you will find another fish in this dazzling sea that will make you much happier than I ever could. I've seen your heart, and I know you are destined to do great things. But I have no place in that future with you. I would only slow you down. I'm asking you to trust me – as we've always trusted each other – and leave me behind. There are better things out there for you that this castle cannot contain. Your future is out there, Gregory, and it is your duty to find it. Do you believe my words?"
Goyle sucked up his almost tears and nodded solemnly. "I do. I know that you mean well and that you love me as a friend to the maximum that you can. If you say it is in my best interest to leave here, then I will. But I can't stay here another night knowing we can't be together. I'll leave before it gets dark and never bother you again." He turned and walked away.
As he reached the door, Bobbi called to him and said, "Her name is Alexis. She will be the beacon of your future."
Goyle nodded and left her sight. That afternoon, both the Crabbe and the Goyle families left the Lair.
When the commotion of the day had calmed down, Bobbi snuck into Snape's study to work on their plans for the future.
"I was beginning to wonder if you would show up at all," Snape said as she sat down next to him, not bothering to look up at her.
"Parting is such sweet sorrow," Bobbi sighed dramatically, then grinned at her diva imitation. "On the one hand, I'm glad he won't cause me guilt anymore, but on the other, I feel like I just lost a close friend. It's like when you remove a tumor that you've had all your life. The burden is gone, but you can feel the empty space it left, and you're acutely aware at all times that something's missing."
"Charming, aren't you?" he observed with a slight smirk.
"It may surprise you, but I treat men better than I treat women."
"Yes. You only rip men's hearts out figuratively."
"No, I do literally rip hearts out of anyone. There is no bias in my destruction."
"Shall we continue from where we left off?" Snape asked, pulling out a large piece of parchment with scribbles from prior planning scattered about it. They plotted for a while how to gradually turn the Death Eaters over to the side of good. Then when he could stand it no longer, Snape broached the subject. "Bobbi. About last night…"
Bobbi sighed, "I knew this would come up eventually. You're having regrets, aren't you?"
"No, Bobbi," he disagreed softly, cupping her cheek in his hand and smoothing her skin with his thumb, "I could never regret that. But I have to wonder what your feelings are about it. Now that you have a clear head."
Bobbi gazed up at him, a new spark in her eyes. "I don't regret it in the slightest. If it were up to me, we'd leave right now and never come back. We'd start our lives over, just you and me. No Harry Potter. No Voldemort. No war. We could even leave the country, live somewhere no other witch or wizard has been before. Just forget our past, forget the present, because we'd have a future. But I know I have a job to do here. I know we have to set the world right again."
Snape gazed down at her, stroking her cheek, all the care in the world in his eyes. He lowered his lips to her face and whispered in her ear, "You can run away with me anytime you want."
In the weeks that followed, the Lair became a happy place again. The young ones enjoyed time together with their Mistress Bobbi as they had in the old days. Slowly, the smiles returned to the faces of the Death Eaters, only they were much more vibrant now. Bobbi enjoyed life again, and even Snape seemed less sullen to the others, though they had no clue as to the real reason why.
There were no more raids or killings, and now the Death Eaters was more of a social club than a cult with a deadly mission. The only person who didn't approve of this change was Bellatrix Lestrange. One night, without warning, she had vanished and not returned, leaving her husband baffled about her location. Fenrir, too, had disappeared, but it was rumored that he had run off with a hot female werewolf rather than because he was angry about the changes going on in the Lair.
Overall, everything was more playful and less serious, better even. Parties were frequent and field days were often. Conversations ran positive in topic and always produce a happier outcome. And no one seemed to mind.
Many families began to leave at this time, starting with the Malfoy family, after which everyone followed. They came back occasionally at first, to partake in gatherings now deemed as "club meetings", but after a while the continued the lives they had left outside the Lair.
Bobbi now slept in Snape's bed every night, and yet they still managed to keep their relationship a secret, even from Bobbi's ever-vigilant friends. Gregory Goyle never came back. Bobbi hoped it was because he had found a new, faithful interest. Snape was glad for the lack of Goyle. It made the situation much easier and less awkward.
A/N: Yessir, that was a short chapter in which I expelled most of the characters. The interesting stuff will begin in the next chapter. Now you know what to do; just leave a review. And subscribe, or something like that.