Surprised that he would just flat out ask that question, Kate stood there, trying to think of anything that will make them turn onto some other territory. Anything else, because right now this conversation is not appropriate. It was her Captains funeral for Christ's sake she doesn't need to deal with this right now.

"Castle, are you really going bring this up right now?" She hated the twisted look that came across Castle's face, like he knew what she was doing. He nodded finally, as if he understands.

"No, yeah. You're right. Uh lets just forget about it then-"

"Rick-"

"No Kate lets just forget I even asked. I'm pretty sure I've gotten my answer anyway." He looks to his left as if to compose himself of his emotions. When he turns back to her his face is hard, cold, not Castle. Not the man she… she.

"I'll uh, I'll see you around." He turns then, making his way. Away from her. It causes a lump to grow in Kate's throat that she doesn't understand. Isn't this what she wants? Doesn't she want the easy way out with him? That's what she thought, that is until now. When she actually sees him walking away, like he's been wounded enough and is done. She doesn't want him to be done though, she wants him.

'Oh my god, I want him?'

It's a surprise to her own mind. A new realization really. Well not new…just… she's finally admitting it to herself. Something she has known all this time but is finally letting herself take it all in. Something she's not willing to let go of.

"Castle! Wait!" She shouts after him. Her heart flutters when he stops. He'll always be willing to listen to what she has to say. It's reassuring to know really. It lets her know he cares about her a lot more than he'd like her to know. He hasn't turned yet though, like he doesn't want her to see his face. Kate makes her way towards him because he's not coming to her. When she finally reach's him she feels terrible for making him doubt himself so much. Here's a man who has always been sure of himself, always known to have confidence. Now he seems unsure, frustrated, disappointed. Like she has been what he has wanted his whole life and just figured out he will never get it. That brings on another feeling inside of Kate that she can't pinpoint.

"Castle look, I'm sorry." He still hasn't turned and it makes Beckett nervous. "I'm not good at this okay, it's just…."

"It's just…" It catch's Castles attention when she pauses. He turns around almost immediately when she still hasn't spoken a word, ignoring the swelling feeling of his red eyes.

"It's just what Kate?" The look in Kate's eyes sets him on fire, he's so sick of this little dance. He just wants her all to himself and he doesn't care if he's being petty. Her eyes show concern, like she actually might care. He wants her to care, he wants her to know how he feels, he wants… her.

When she inhales and rush's a hand through her hair he readies himself for what she is about to say. Good or bad, he will hear her through.

"It's just… Look Rick." She runs another shaky hand through her hair. "I don't want to mess up what we have. I-I care about you, okay." She says it almost annoyed, like she really doesn't want to do this. He doesn't care though. What she has said has given him hope, something to hold onto. A future maybe?

"Kate what is it that we have?" He doesn't realize that he has stepped closer to her until he sees her back up from his proximity. It hurts him, he tries to hide it from his expression, but he's sure she's seen it. Looking away trying to control the anger that bubbles inside of him at the fact that she wont let him touch her, or even come close to her for that matter.

"What do we have?" She chokes out with a laugh. "Castle we have a partnership, a friendship even. I have gotten use to you Castle and I don't want to mess our partnership-"

"Bull shit! That is bull shit Kate!" He's trying to fight back his rage, but it's not working. Every time he tries to push it back down, she says something that will bring it back up again.

"You know damn well that this is more than a partnership"

It's a contradiction against himself, from what he had said back at her apartment only a couple of nights ago.

I'm your partner. Your friend.

But hell, he was just trying to get her to not go rogue and get herself killed. Now it was about them. Not her mothers murder, nothing else but them.

"Rick I have a boyfriend" She regrets saying it right when it fly's out of her mouth. The look that swipes across Castle's face is frightening to say the least. Like he is almost disturbed by her comment.

"Right… Right you have a boyfriend. A really dreamy doctor boyfriend who guess what Kate, is never around!"

"Castle-"

"No Beckett, I am always here, I am always by your side through thick and thin! I am the one who brings you coffee every morning to see your smile, I'm the one who makes sure you get enough sleep at night not him! And Damn it Kate I'm the one who is in love with you!"

It's then that Kate is literally speechless. It's funny really because she was just about to shout at Castle for everything else he was saying but it seems her brain has decided to stop working all together. He's said it, maybe at the worst time possible but he's finally said it.

She doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know what to say. Is pretty sure if she did know what to say she wouldn't be able to, considering the whole being speechless thing. It scares the crap out of her that he loves her. It makes her feel butterflies in her stomach also though. She doesn't know what she is feeling at this very moment. She does know she better have something that will match up to that because she does not want him to walk away from her now. Not after that.

BLFDSKFHAKDSUFHLDSKJFHKSJDFHA!

Hope you enjoyed diz chapter, it be ight. Lol