A/N: I've had this chapter ready to go for awhile now, but as some of you know I post here and on BuffynFaith and it's been down since last week. I was trying to give it a chance to come back up, but I don't want to keep everyone waiting to long. So here it is.

Chap. 20: Lost- May 05

Opening the pantry door, Buffy scanned the rows of boxes until she found the one she was looking for. Pulling out the box of Lucky Charms, she moved over to the table. "Nevaeh, breakfast," she yelled through the house, as she poured the sugary cereal into one of her daughter's Disney character bowls.

Normally Buffy tried to get Vaeh to eat healthier foods, but today was one of those days she just didn't care. Faith was always the one to push for the more sugary foods when they'd go grocery shopping together. She loved to eat them dry, straight out of the box while she watched TV either early in the morning, or late at night after patrol. Buffy sighed, wondering if things would ever be the same.

Little footsteps approaching told her that her daughter had finally made her way downstairs. She tried not to react when Vaeh walked in with a lime green shirt and pastel pink pants. The girl was at the age where she wanted to be independent and that started with dressing herself. Faith and Buffy had both agreed long ago to just let her be herself. Still the fashionista in her was screaming.

"Why didn't you put on the shirt that goes with those pants?" she asked, trying to make it sound like she didn't care. She wouldn't out right tell her what to wear, but maybe she could help her to understand about matching and get her to make that choice herself.

"Cause I like this shirt better," Vaeh shrugged, climbing up into her chair at the table.

"Well then why didn't you put on a pair of jeans?" Surely that would be better than the pink. Those two colors just didn't go together.

"These ones are more comfy," the brunette told her mother, like it should have been obvious.

Well Buffy certainly couldn't argue with Nevaeh's logic. So she dropped the subject and took a seat across from her, pouring milk into both their bowls. She could barely pull the jug back before Vaeh dug in with gusto. Sometimes the girl ate like she was never going to see food again.

But then that's the way that Faith always ate too. She knew why her wife ate like that though. Growing up, it was a truth of life that she didn't actually know when she'd get her next meal. Now it was just habit to eat that way, a habit that Nevaeh had picked up obviously.

"Me see Mama today?" Vaeh asked between bites of food.

Buffy sighed, not wanting to give her the answer she knew she needed to give her. It had been almost a week, six days to be exact since they got Faith back physically, but they'd made no headway into getting her back mentally.

"No, you're going to hang out in Aunt Kennedy's class today, remember?" she tried, hoping the Faith subject would be dropped for now. She didn't know when Kennedy had been added to the list of Nevaeh's aunts, but it seemed like her and Dawn were very serious about each other, so it seemed to just fall into place without anyone noticing.

"I don't want to go to class!"

"You love going to class, and learning with all the big girls."

It was true, she loved learning all the martial arts moves that all the other girls were learning. But she really loved it when they all went outside and ran around the compound. She always won. None of the others were as fast as she was. Her moms had tried telling her she was special, but she didn't really understand why yet.

"But I want to see Mama," she tried again, bringing out the pout.

"Sorry, kid, I invented that pout. Doesn't work on me," Buffy joked, but got no reaction. Reaching across the table she ran a hand down her daughter's cheek. "I know you want to see her. And I promise as soon as possible, I'll take you to her. Just not yet."

For the rest of breakfast, Buffy was given the silent treatment from her daughter. But how did you explain to a four-year old what her Mama, her favorite person in the world, was going through. It took a toll on Buffy just to get through each day dealing with Faith herself.

When she told Nevaeh it was time to get going, all she got was a nod in return. She would just have to deal with her baby being mad at her for the time being. Hopefully soon, Faith would be back to her old self, and all of the crap that was happening now would be nothing but a memory.

Buffy opened the large metal door to the gym where Kennedy was getting ready for her martial arts for beginners class. It was the first class new girls would take. They allowed Nevaeh to sit in and even participate in this class, but it was the only one for now. She was far too young to be trained any further. They just wanted to start her on her way to defend herself if she needed to.

Luckily she was also too young to realize that while each class moved on, she stayed behind. Otherwise they were sure they'd have one very pissed off mini Slayer on their hands. As it was, she had mastered many of the skills taught in the beginners class, and thought herself pretty awesome that she could do things that some of the girls couldn't do just yet.

"How's she doing today?" Buffy asked Willow when she'd finally made it down to stand outside of the room Faith was currently staying in.

"She actually ate her breakfast as soon as I left the room."

Buffy was happy to hear that. It was actually an improvement, finally. One of two things would usually happen when they delivered her meals. Either she'd lash out and throw the food, or she'd let it just sit there in the room until she couldn't take the hunger anymore and then inhale it with gusto, but only if no one was in the room.

It killed Buffy to have to watch Faith go through this. She wanted so much to go in there and hold her in her arms and comfort her, but that was likely to throw her into a rage. But at least those moments were more like her Faith. The moments where she cowered in the corner, trying to make herself invisible and flinch at any noise or movement, those were the ones that completely broke Buffy's heart.

"Giles still doesn't know how long she was there, but he's certain that time definitely moved faster there."

"I know. The Faith we all know, would not have broken easily. Certainly not in a month," Buffy responded, her eyes never leaving her glimpse of Faith through the window. Her wife was just sitting on her bed, rocking back and forth.

Turning to Willow finally, "but I don't get it, the dream I shared with her wasn't that long before her rescue, and she was herself. Well almost," she added as an afterthought, because she did remember thinking that Faith was a little different.

"That could be for two reasons, one because she hadn't broken yet. Or two, which is more likely, is that in those dreams, her subconscious allowed her to be herself, knowing she was in a safe place. No matter what he did to her, deep down, she still knows who she is."

Buffy just nodded, understanding what her friend was telling her. "I just wish we could figure out how to help her," she sighed, turning back to watch her wife through the window. She reached out, placing a hand on the glass, wishing it was soft, warm skin she was feeling, not cold, hard glass.

~BF~

Kennedy stood at the front of the gym, as ten teenagers, and one four-year old stared at her waiting for their next instruction. She loved this job. Sure they'd let her take the girls through their training back in Sunnydale, but that was nothing compared to now, being a Slayer and having her own class.

When she first met Buffy, she was sure the Chosen One didn't care much for her. But she couldn't blame her, she'd been a spoiled rich brat. But that was in the past. Becoming a Slayer had started her on the road to being more humble.

Watching so many of the girls die down in the Hellmouth had showed her the true price of life. She didn't take life for granted anymore, or love. The thought made her smile. She never would have believed she'd fall in love with someone like Dawn, or that Dawn would love her. But somehow they made sense.

"Alright, if you're attacked from behind, try and get into this position," she started, crouching into the position she was talking about. "Then you can swing like this and it should throw your opponent off you," she finished, guiding them through the action. She desperately tried not to laugh at the look of concentration on Nevaeh's face as she tried to follow though. Her body still too little to actually manage to do it.

There was another reason Vaeh loved coming to class. The girls were always happy to play with her. Well, maybe not play in the most basic of senses. Kennedy had her climb on to her back, intent on showing them another move to thrown an opponent off. Vaeh felt no fear as Kennedy threw her through the air. Confident that she'd be caught.

And of course she was thrown about five feet and Nicole caught her easily enough. Everyone knew the score, if anything happened to the tot, there would be hell to pay. After that, each girl took a turn trying to throw her off their back. The girl knew her role well, she was to make it as difficult for them to do so, but each time when she went flying, someone was there to catch her.

"Don't tell you mother," Kennedy told her seriously, once everyone had a turn.

"I won't," Vaeh promised. She knew better, if she told her mom, then all this fun would be over.

Leading them into some fight moves, Kennedy went through the motions of some of her favorite punches and kicks. Loving every minute of this teaching gig. "Miss Kennedy, could you help me with this one?" She loved it even more when they called her Miss.

"Sure, Katie," she told the young blonde. Only thirteen years old, she was the youngest of the bunch, excluding the obvious mini Summers. Walking over to where Katie was sparring with her partner, she helped guide the girl through the moves they were practicing.

When she turned back to the rest of the class she immediately knew something was wrong. It took her a few seconds to realize why. Nevaeh was no longer in sight. "Anybody see where Vaeh went?" she asked hopefully. Everybody shook their head no.

"Shit, Buffy's going to kill me."

~BF~

"Faith, you ready to try talking today?" Buffy asked softly, trying to keep everything as calm as possible so as not to startle the other girl. At least she hadn't immediately retreated to her corner today when Buffy had entered the room, instead choosing to stay on her bed. Buffy sat in a chair several feet away, far enough away so that Faith didn't feel threatened.

"Not today, huh?" She responded as if her wife had in fact told her she didn't want to. "Well then, I'll just talk." As she had every day for the last six days. "Nevaeh asked if she could see you again today." She always got the faintest of reaction when she'd mentioned their daughter, but it was so small, she couldn't count on it for much.

"I hate telling her no. She needs you so much, baby. You gotta get through this. We both need you. More than you know." So many times she wanted to mention the baby. But she decided to wait on that. Wanting that to be something she had to tell Faith once she was back to her old self. Something they could celebrate together.

Just then her phone went off, causing Faith to flinch and curl deeper into a ball. "Sorry, it's just my phone," she tried to soothe, but knew she probably wasn't doing a good job.

Nobody ever called her when she was with Faith, they knew better, but she still kept it on her just in case. Pulling it out of her pocket, she immediately went into panic when she saw Kennedy's name flash on the screen.

"What's wrong?" she asked without preamble, trying to stay calm. "She's what? Alright, I'll be right there." Hanging up the phone she slipped it back into her pocket. "Sorry, baby. Gotta run for a few." She debated whether she should say why, but in the end decided, that even in her frame of mind, Faith was still Vaeh's mother too. "Nevaeh disappeared on Kennedy. I'll be back as soon as I find her." She resisted the urge to place a kiss on Faith's head before heading out the door.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I just turned away for a minute to help one of the girls and she was gone," Kennedy apologized when Buffy finally entered the room.

"It's not your fault. She knows better than to just leave. No reason to know she would have snuck off."

"Any idea where she might have gone?"

"Just one," Buffy answered honestly. She'd kept her eye out for her daughter as she made her way towards the gym, but never saw her. But then they'd never told Vaeh where Faith was, so there was no reason to believe she'd even know where to go.

"You don't think she'd leave the compound do you? I sent some girls to the front gate as soon as I realized she was gone, just in case."

"No, I think she went to find Faith. So I'm sure she's here somewhere." Buffy gave Kennedy a serious look, so she would know she meant what she said. "That was smart though, only one way out, so at least she's contained. You did good, kid. I mean that."

"I just feel so…"

"Stop," Buffy held up her hand to shush her. "I mean it. It's not your fault. It's your job to teach, you were teaching. She's the one that snuck off. And believe me, when we find her, she's gonna be in so much trouble."

Buffy took a deep breath and waited for more people to arrive. Before she'd even made it to the gym she'd called Willow, Giles, and Xander. All three of them began to gather all the girls and send them to the gym. The only reason she wasn't freaking out right now, is because she was positive her daughter was still within the four concrete walls that surrounded their small little world. But the sooner they found her, the sooner she could breath normally again.

Once everyone was present, Xander walked to the middle of the room, unrolling a map of the entire area. "I want you to divide into teams of two. Search your assigned area as thoroughly as possible. Search it again if we still haven't sounded the alarm that she's found," Buffy instructed.

"We'll find her," Xander comforted, patting Buffy on the shoulder as they watched the teams head out the door and off to their assigned areas.