AN: SM owns Twilight.
Warning: this chapter contain descriptions of drugs and insemination techniques.
No animals were harmed in the writing of this story, Only joking! As yet there are no actual animals in the plot...yet.
Chapter four. Into the unknown!
Holey hell on a pogo stick!
I thought that Jake's home-distilled firewater was bad, but my oh my, Charlie had managed to collect quite a stash!
There was a good kilo of fancy, hydroponically-grown, resin-laden cannabis flower-head,which was packed neatly into a large, sealable baggie.
I noticed a fancy looking glass bong, a heap of cigarette papers, lighters and then there was, mm, what looked like, some sort of ecstasy tabs and some other unknown pills.
Oh heck! What the hell was my Dad doing? And where did he get it all?
Ok, I knew he could have gotten old of this stuff, anywhere in the US. I wasn't an idiot. But why? What was it all for?
Why would he need it, except maybe to maybe relieve his pain, which weren't effectively being dulled, by his prescribed medications?
He was always scarily stern with me, about using drugs all the way through my teenage years.
I was too scared to put a foot out of place with Charlie, being the Chief of Police in a small town.
More importantly what on earth am I going to do now, with this illegal stash?
I never did drugs myself, but I'd had many college roommates who did, and I always watched over them. I was always responsible and sensible, ever the designated driver, as well as the first aider. I was their first person they called when their drug sessions got way out of hand, especially when they mixed alcohol and various legal and illegal substances.
It often got nasty...really, really nasty and the participants needed to go in the ambulance for a fun trip to the emergency room.
I chose the safest thing I could think of.
I flushed the cannabis and pills down the toilet and put the packaging, papers and glass bong in the bin. I kept the lighters though, maybe they would come in useful someday.
I set the washing machine going, stuffed full of Charlie's sheets and decided to go eat something.
I hummed; this was great lasagne, even if I was completely biased. I liked all of the flavours I tasted, and set to, savouring my meal.
I licked my lips after I'd finished my first piece, maybe another small slice would be enough to satisfy my hunger.
Why Not? I was underweight after all!
I looked over to the sink, at all of the defrosting food and thought to myself.
What if, I had a chicken or two to eat up the kitchen scraps? It might be nice to have lovely fresh eggs while I'm pregnant.
In the mean time, I scraped out the casserole dishes and put the food in the trash.
I pulled out the washing and put it in the dryer.
I found some garbage bags and decided to go through all of Charlie's clothes.
I'll never understand why men love hanging onto so many ratty, sad, old clothes!
Why he kept wearing all of these holey, old socks and undies, is beyond me! Especially when there were packets of nice, new ones, still unopened sitting in his drawers.
It was the same story in his shirts and jeans, sweats and tee-shirts. All of the old ones were his obvious favourites, and he neglected the new ones. Some still sat there with their price tags on.
It was like he had an odd, irrational fear of wearing new things. Mad!
I came to his last clothes drawer, and found some more papers and notebooks.
I bent down to gather them all together and shook my head. I stood carefully holding the precarious pile. It made me feel sad.
I wished I had a brother or sister to share this mess with, someone to moan to and have a laugh with at Charlie's odd habits and foibles, around clothes, paperwork and drugs.
I gently placed all the papers and notebooks on the dining table and went back upstairs.
I looked through the new shirts, some of them were really nice fabrics, like linen and soft, thick cotton and there were also some classic 1950's Hawaiian shirts! I know for absolutely sure and certain Dad never would have worn these!
I wonder where they came from? They might have been Charlie's father's shirts, my grandfather Swan. They were actually really cute, and almost in mint condition.
I'd seen some of these types of original, tropical shirts sell well on e-bay for big money. They might even be collectable!
I might check out their value later, it might be an interesting distraction for me, sometime later. I put them aside in my room.
All of the ok and newer clothes, went in a bag for the goodwill charity shop.
The horrible worn out items, made up most of Charlie's clothes. I really wanted to burn the damn things!
I looked at one of the wafer-thin tee-shirts. It was so thin and soft it might make a great cloth for window cleaning and dusting.
I threw the pile of ancient tee-shirts down on the floor, and took up one in my hands and ripped it! I laughed!
I would show Charlie what I thought of his crazy hording of prehistoric tee-shirts!
I had a big surge of energy and picked up another tee-shirt and ripped it, and another and another.
Soon I was standing in the middle of a big pile of shredded clothes.
I felt great!
At the Cullen's house we re-read the simple contract set up by their lawyer, and all signed it.
We celebrated with a nice bottle of fancy champagne, and toasted to our baby-making success.
"I was feeling excited, so I went ahead and picked up all of the supplies early; I hope that's ok Bella?"
"Sure, why not? I didn't really need to be there with you and Esme, Carlisle." I said.
"Yeah, Carlisle has been doing some great research about what other people do in this very same situation, and how they go about creating the best opportunities for success in the baby stakes." Esme smiled.
"Ok, tell me more." I said excitedly, the bubbles gently bursting on my nose, as I sipped the delicious sparkling wine.
"As we discussed before, we will use this great new device which uses your saliva, to accurately monitor your cycle Bella. One whole box of this will last you a year." I had a quick look at the box Carlisle held up in the air.
"Five days before your ovulation peaks, we will start using my nice, fresh semen. Happily collected by Esme and I in a condom, and we will pull it all up, into a large, needless syringe."
He held up several boxes of condoms made of silicon, rather than latex, and several, large, ominous-looking, plastic syringes, without the sharp needle bits.
God I hoped those things didn't feel too uncomfortable, when I had to put them inside me!
I looked at them a bit longer, and considered them rationally.
"I guess they aren't much bigger in diameter, than a super tampon for heavy flows." I mumbled to myself.
Esme smiled and nodded. "I guess that the first few times we do this, will feel a little strange, but after a while it will be fine I'm sure!"
"So you Bella, will be waiting in the bedroom next door to us, hopefully with some music playing in a head set, so you don't get to hear all of the wild stuff going on next door. Then we can suck-up a syringe full of very fresh, lively semen." he laughed.
"Esme will bring it to you. Then you will place it high up in your vagina, and as close to your cervix as possible. Ok?" I nodded.
I was really pleased the gynecologist Dr Naidoo, had showed me where my cervix was, and what it felt when she touched it. She talked me into trying to feel for it all by myself, using my fingers, and it sort of felt like, the cartilage on the tip of my nose.
Which was weird, but cool at the same time.
After all the biology I had studied, it was good to know something really practical, about my own body.
"Once you do that, you lie down and relax for an hour to keep the semen swimming in the right direction, towards your cervix."
"We want to try and follow this sequence of events, at least every two days, until a few days after your ovulation has peaked. We may need to be doing this, around five or six times every month."
"I did some research, and it shows that if you place an old fashioned contraceptive diaphragm, up inside your vagina after the semen is placed there, it will keep the sperm swimming around the cervix for longer. But I think it might be wise to try using one, only if we don't have any success after four months or so of trying."
"Well, here's to us making you guys a baby!" I held up the flute. "How about I try out the saliva ovulation indicator thingy now, just to practice getting to hang of it?" I grinned.
"Great idea!" Esme bounced up, and down clapping. It was great to see her excited.
"Ok, well this indicator is supposed to be used first thing in the morning, and it has a memory chip, which processes all the information and graphs-out your cycle. It's really easy to see what's happening and when. You place this spoon shaped thing onto your tongue, and leave it there for at least five seconds."
I put it on my tongue and took it out after more than ten seconds, "now what?"
"See here, it's coming up with the reading and ... look! You're ovulating right now!"Carlisle almost shouted with joy.
"Well why don't we all give the whole procedure, our first try and see if we need to iron out any problems? Maybe test all of the equipment, so to speak?" I quipped; there was no time like the present!
"I'd love to, any objections Carlisle?" Esme laughed.
"Ahh, err, no... I guess not, we need to work out a good system and not be too shy with each other. So... umm, Esme, you and Bella go up and make Bella comfy and wait...maybe turn on some telly... or read a good book, or put some music on..."
"Don't worry dear, I'll make sure Bella is all fine and settled, you just go up to bed and for heaven's sake, stop panicking! And don't forget take this box of condoms and a syringe up with you." Esme winked at me.
I shrugged; she and I had become quite familiar with each other over the last little while.
Carlisle on the other hand, was still thinking in the instructing, objective, doctor mode. He hadn't made the mental shift to a happy, laid-back, relaxed state. Which he definitely needed to be in... before he could have err, lift off, so to speak.
He blinked and laughed, "Ok, ok you're right! I'll stop worrying about running around, making everything sound just like a science experiment, and I'll start chilling out. Let's top up these glasses for good measure and drink up, to make sure we're all nice and relaxed."
Esme and I started giggling, as Carlisle made his way up the stairs juggling condoms, syringes and champagne.
"Here's cheers, once again!" Esme said to me.
"Now Bella, here's a few nice DVDs to watch, you like all of those Jane Austin and Shakespearean costume dramas right?" I nodded.
"And here are some snacks and dips, and I'll bring them up to your room for you and set you up so you're all nice and comfy. Ok?"
"Thanks Esme! You've thought of everything."
"Bring your bag, have you got your phone charged up, in case you need to make some calls?... Oh my! I'm getting all nervous! I feel like it's my first time, all over again! Do you know Carlisle and I have never used a condom?"
We giggled again and dragged ourselves, my gear and food upstairs.
"Come on, we can do this! Show me which room you want me in."
Here I was, lying down propped up with heaps of soft pillows, in a lovely downy bed. It was the very same one that I collapsed into, after I'd found out Dad had died. I watched 'Shakespeare in Love' on the screen placed at the end of the bedroom.
I was so caught up in the plot and drama, that I didn't hear a thing going on, between either of the Cullens. The bedroom door opened and Esme walked in all flushed in the face, messy, wild bed-hair and a huge smile on her face.
"Here you go Bella, pop this in as far as you can, and settle down maybe with a pillow under your butt and only a couple of pillows behind your head. I'll come back and watch the end of the movie with you, after you put the semen in."
"Are you sure, what about Carlisle? Don't you want to err, look after him?"
Her eyes sparkled, "well maybe for a little while longer, it's so nice to have him home, in the middle of the day like this! I'll bring you some lunch in a while. Don't get up now!"
"Sure, no worries!" I said cheerfully, trying to stay positive.
I looked at the syringe, took off my jeans and got right into the bed.
I pulled off my knickers and took a deep breath.
I'll be fine, I'll be fine!
I reached over, got the large, plastic syringe full of sperm and gently slipped it in, just like a large tampon, and pushed it right up inside of me, until I could feel something.
I hope that thing I was feeling was my cervix!
When I asked Dr Naidoo, she didn't feel any vestiges of a hymen, apparently I had none left, from using tampons regularly, for the last ten years.
I pushed the plunger in and breathed a sigh of relief.
This wasn't so bad, and far more pleasant than the one and only time I had sex, with Eric the boy-wonder.
I pushed the pillows out, leaving a couple behind my head, and put one under my rear-end. I lay back and watched the rest of the movie. Relaxing stretching and yawning.
I liked this bed. It was a good thing too, as it was highly likely, that I might be spending rather a lot of time here, whiling away the hours while Carlisle's swimmers finally meet up with one of my eggs.
The most active sperm would do a little war dance fighting together, to pierce my egg's outer coat and make its way inside, to start the miraculous process of fertilization.
I'd seen the whole thing many, many times in slides, books and movies, but now it was really happening...or not.
Only time would tell!
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