The rest of the afternoon was spent mopping. I was even beginning to annoy myself. I had no idea what to do without Clove to counsel me. Like that was ever going to happen. I looked back on our fight, feeling the worst guilt I've ever felt. Why was guilt and regret such an easy emotion for me? But the others, they were the most difficult obsticals I've ever faced.

Mulling over my thoughts, I decided to pick one and face it. My mind drifted to Peeta. But I quickly shut that door. That was something that would have to wait. My feelings for Peeta were to complicated and repressed, going through it was difficult. Deciding my best option was to try to fix things with Clove. I've never apologized for anything in my life, never had the need to. But this was something that couldn't be ignored.

Mustering up my strength, I crossed the common area to Cloves door. I knocked twice, my heart seeming to stop at the noise. Nothing. Clove was ignoring him, not that I'd blame her. I tried again, this time putting more force into the knock.

There was still nothing, not even the sound of footsteps on the other side. "Clove." I continuted to knock, hoping my persistance would give me a chance to talk to her.

I almost gave up in defeat when I heard her, "What do you want?" Her voice was full of acid and I found myself a few steps away from the door.

I couldn't think of what to say. Apologizing wasn't something I knew how to do. "Can I speak with you?" I coped out and hoped I could say I was sorry during our conversation.

"I've got nothing to say to you, Cato." Her voice wasn't as angry this time, but there was still pain there. "Don't you have emotions to surpress or something?"

It stung, but what else could I expect, her voice sounded weaker. It was now or never.

"I'm sorry."

I practically shouted it. For a moment there was nothing but silence. "What did you say?"

"I uh… said I'm sorry." I repeated, hoping it sounded just as sincere. I heard her moving behind the door. A soft click filled the room and her door popped open enough for me to see her face. She had been crying.

"You damn well should be, you asshole!" Clove shouted before returning to the depths of her room. The door remained open and I let myself in to follow her.

"I'm not very good at these kind of things." I stuttered, "I'm not really good at anything."

She didn't reply. Nor did she look interested in what I had to say about myself at the moment. I figured she didn't want to talk about me, it was my turn to ask her.

"Why were you crying." I asked.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She shouted. It was a stupid question, but it was all I could think of. "Why do you think I'm crying? Do you think that I just spent all that time with you because I felt sorry for you? Dammit Cato. You're the closest thing I have to a friend."

Something came over me, a feeling that I knew I shouldn't be having at the moment. Why was I happy? The feeling was surprising, and a little unwelcomed. But no one ever called me their friend before.

"Typical." Clove gestured at me. "Always thinking, never saying. You aren't the only broken one Cato. I used to be a heartless killer just like you. Do you honestly think all of this is easy for me?"

Honestly, the thought never occurred to me. Clove always seemed so strong when it came to this. I knew she had a past. But then, everything was always about me. It always had been.

"I'm sorry." It was like I was stuck on repeat. "I forget that I'm not the only one here, or that other people are having their own problems." This wasn't like me at all. Have I really changed this much in 2 days?

"Well they do, Cato." Clove choked out. "They do." She sat on the edge of her bed, burying her face in her hands. I approached her, sitting close to her. I pulled her towards me, my arm protectively holding her. She sunk into me, resting her head on my shoulder.

We stayed quiet for what seemed like forever, no words needed to be said. Which was good, because everything I try to say just comes out wrong anyway. She pulled away from me and made eye contact.

She was about to say something but I cut her off, "Don't, I know. I feel the same way." She smiled, our unspoken words were mutual. They said everything we felt, that we were both sorry and needed each other. Clove needed him to be strong, because right now, she wasn't.

"I half expected you to leave me here." Clove whispered. "Leave me here and return to your old self."

"I can't say the thought didn't occur," she rested her head against my shoulder again, "but I didn't want to return to that. There's too much I've been missing out on. Granted it's overwhelming and I don't know how to express myself, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. I wanted you by my side."

She giggled, "If only to make sure you don't screw up." I smiled down at her, "Exactly."

Then she switched, the transition still amazes and terrifies me. She bounced off the bed and ran out into the common room.

I stood up and followed her out, she was loading up a plate with dinner from the table. It reminded me of how hungry I was as well. I grabbed a plate, letting myself be happy, enjoying some time with my first friend.

She sat down on the couch, stuffing her face. "I've got a secret."

"Yeah?" I asked, pretending that I wanted to know. This whole part of our relationship was still very foreign, and I find myself drifting during these talks.

"You know that Katniss girl?" She said, "Well, I heard that shes in love with someone."

My heart sank. I tried to play it off like I didn't care, but I was caught.

"Oh knock it off, not everything is about you, you emo bitch." I liked that with our conversations, I barely had to say anything. Clove could just read it off of me.

"Anyway, I heard she's in love with her cousin back home." She made a disgusted face at the thought. "Some girl named Gale. Jeez, those backwoods districts are weird."

I never understood gossip. I always heard the girls back home talking about other people. Why would you invest so much of your time in someone else's life? "I always knew there was something weird about her, but I still tried to be friends with her. Can you say stuck up?"

"Stuck up." I replied. She stared at me. Apparently it was a rhetorical question. Whatever.

"You really are out of the loop. You don't get dirty jokes or common phrases." Clove noted.

"Yeah well, there isn't much of a need to know those things when you spend all your time alone." I replied.

"Speaking of which." Cloves eyes narrowed. I knew I was about to be attacked by some inappropriate question. I just hoped she'd keep Peeta out of it. I wasn't ready for that.

"How long did you know you liked guys?" She said it so casually.

"What? How is that 'Speaking of which'?" I replied, "And I don't like guys."

"Oh come on. You've got to be kidding me." She almost choked. "I'm surprised no one is talking about it yet."

She acted like everything was completely obvious.

"Well, maybe people don't care as much as you do." I replied.

"Please, everyone cares."

I played with my salad for a moment, pushing the greens around with my fork. "How did you know?"

"What?" Clove answered, "That you have a crush on Peeta?"

"Yeah." I answered sheepishly, "Because honestly, I don't even know how I feel about him."

"Quit playing the 'emotions are new' bullshit." Clove answered bluntly. "You know how you feel, you just won't admitt it to yourself. And to answer your question, how I knew? I didn't until I saw you smiling at him, and then everything just kind of clicked. It's the way you stare at him, and the way you completely choke up when he's around. Not to mention that strange blissed out look you get whenever he touches you…"

My face felt warm, I don't think I've ever blushed before in my life. I hated the feeling. I hated this conversation. This wasn't right. Nothing about it was right.

She must have noticed it in my eyes. "Is this a problem because he's a guy?"

"No." I answered. I honestly didn't care. "It's because I don't know what I'm doing." That seemed to be my answer for everything lately and I was getting tired of hearing myself say it.

Clove didn't press further, but started talking about her own interests. I didn't pay much mind until she started asking me what I thought of the ones she thought were cute.

"What do you think of Marvel?" Clove asked, "I think he's real cute."

"I wouldn't know." I answered honestly. I had no interest in any of the group and was starting to feel that anger push up inside of me. I was getting better at represing it, probably because I wasn't trying to repress the rest of my mind.

"You're the worst gay best friend ever." Clove shouted.

"I'M NOT GAY!" Theres my anger. It subsided quickly, but left an impression that I wish I could take back.

"Alright." Clove basically whispered. "Don't freak the fuck out on me."

Dinner was mostly quiet. I realized that I liked when Clove spoke, at least for the most part. When she was silent, my head started doing laps and everything kept trying to push out all at once. When she was talking, I had a specific thing to either listen to or ignore, depending on the subject. It helped clear my head.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Clove broke the silence, noticing that I had a deep look of concentration.

"Nothing really." I answered.

"I bet I know," She couldn't take the hint. But I let her think what she wanted. It was probably better to let her get all this off her chest. I had a feeling she was punishing me because of my outburst this morning. After dinner, everything would go back to normal.

"You don't have to worry." She was smiling. This isn't good. "I'll scope it out, do some prying. I'll get you your Peeta Mellark without you having to lay a finger."

I just wanted to die inside. Maybe it wasn't too late to pull my mask back on. I shrank into the couch hoping the world would disappear, and that I was in some weird world. But of course, life is never easy.

"Better yet, I'll make sure you have to lay a few fingers. All over his body."

A/N: Something about this one seems wrong... But I felt it was necessary.