AN: SM owns twilight.

This chapter was partially inspired, by a real life situation that really happened to me when I was staying at a friend's house. I hope you get a chuckle out of it, I know I did while writing it!

Chapter eight.

Rufus had jumped looking alarmed at my strange behaviour, as I sat up shaking my head, to clear my mind of those vivid colours and intense desires. It was just a crazy dream!

Angela Webber, is a good friend, someone who is just a lovely, kind neighbour!

I like her company, companionship and her great sense of humour.

That's all!

My mind is just playing tricks on my body, making me feel things that it shouldn't.

I huffed, it was five in the morning and I needed to pee.

I checked off the things I had to do this morning before seeing the Cullens:

Must remember to monitor my cycle, before drinking anything...I could really do with a nice hot cup of coffee right now, and check my emails, while I'm at it.

Must also remember to take my supplements and start packing for the trip. I'll need to leave on Friday morning, and make a stop for the night, somewhere that is cat friendly...my old roommate Leah won't mind me crashing at her place, down in Devil's Elbow State Park, Oregon.

I should ring her and give her a heads up that I'm coming, just to warn her. In case she's entertaining one or more of those fellas she likes to keep around. They are all tall, dark and handsome, with the most beautiful, glossy, black hair, rolling down their backs. Grrrr...! Damn, I feel all hot again!

When Leah and I shared a dorm room, it was constantly busy on her side. Guys coming and going, knocking on our door at all hours of the day and night. It just made me more determined to study, and my second home became the library and later, Prof. Aro's place and his quiet, little guest room.

Leah and I still managed to stay great friends, even with all the odd hours and company she kept. It will be great to catch up and see how her job as forest ranger is going.

Rufus sat snugly inside my hoodie pocket, his head poking out to catch the view. I slipped on my ugg boots, it was really frosty this morning, and the sun was hours away from dawning.

Rufus tucked into his food, while I let the indicator measure my saliva...aha, still ovulating! I wondered if this do-hickey would be able to tell me if I ever got pregnant? My saliva would have changes in it too, if pregnancy was the case wouldn't it?

I'll need to ask Carlisle, I'm sure he and Esme are just a mine of information regarding all the latest developments in this area.

Today, I might watch some different type of movie which includes historical costumes, while I'm lying back, letting the semen do its thing. Maybe one of the French classics, like 'the Count of Monte Cristo', or 'les Miserables ...perhaps 'Cyrano de Bergerac?' or something set in the mid 20th century, like 'Chocolat' would be good ...I could never get enough of ogling the delicious Johnny Depp, and not just because of his excellent acting skills!

Man! What's happening to me! I'm suddenly all over the place, longing and lusting after people, who aren't even available!

I never do this kind of thing...maybe it's all the hormones? ...but wait, I'm not taking any extra hormones!

Maybe it's something to do with Carlisle's sperm flooding my girly bits for the last few days?

Or maybe it's an odd emotional backlash from all the stress of Dad dying, and then suddenly being released from a life of grinding poverty?

Yes, that's probably it...an unconscious reaction... to all the stress I've been under.

That dream with Angela was intense though! I so felt it all over...and that orgasm! Mmm... I'm certainly going to have some more of those. That one this morning felt incredible!

Yes, that's certainly an excellent way to relieve stress!

I chuckled to myself, thinking of all the fun I could give myself, relieving the tension.

Rufus scratched around his litter box, turned and scratched some more, and then squatted, looking off into space as he concentrated on his business.

He scratched his litter some more and got out, went over to his bed on Charlie's old sweater and settled down to washing himself thoroughly.

Ok! Focus!

First, I need to make something to drink and take those supplements with some breakfast. Then check if I'm finally connected to the new broadband set up, and check all of my emails.

This lemon, ginger and green tea is really warming and satisfying.

I don't even feel like drinking coffee now that I think about it, which is really weird. I've drunk it for years, each and every morning. Now I'm suddenly not craving it...how odd!

These fried eggs on toast are delicious, mm, so much nicer... I just don't fancy runny yolks at the moment...like I always used to have them runny, the firmer, solid egg yolks taste so much better...

My tastes for things seem to be changing, that's strange.

I feel like something salty with my eggs though ...I remember tasting this weird, dark brown stuff which came all the way from Australia once... it was very salty, and spread on toast... now what the hell was that spread called?

Veggie...something, I'll see if I can Google it, maybe I can buy it somewhere in California, or order it online?

I remember the crazy Australian exchange student who was staying at our dorms one semester, she gave me some to try once... she called it ...veg ...vegi ...no ... Vegemite. Yeah that's it!

I feel like some of that, weird, dark, salty stuff spread on my toast and sitting right under my fried eggs, would surely make these crisply, fried eggs completely perfect right now!

It was weird, that I'd completely forgotten about that Aussie chick, until just now. One thing I remember about her was that she was always heading off before dawn, in order to catch the cleanest, least crowded waves, in order to get back in time before class started. She always laughed, and joked around, and the boys all went crazy for her.

What was her name? Kat something... Katia! That's it, she was Australian, but with a Russian dad and a Singaporean mother, she joked in her Aussie drawl, that her parent's house always looked like it was a meeting of the united nations. A regular melting pot of cultures, languages and food.

My mind was all over the joint this morning...I needed to focus!

Checking my emails on this lovely, new, fast service, I saw that Prof. had gotten all excited and organized everything for me ready to sign!

Excellent I can get started the moment I get down to his place on Saturday. He's given me an approximate schedule of items that needing attending to first, especially his student marking, and later once that's finished, the whole of his curriculum needs posting correctly on the university's website, for all of the students studying off campus.

I shoot back an email, telling him I can't wait and am really keen to start.

I Google Vegemite, and find that there's a distributor who I can buy it from situated right in central San Francisco. Yay! I send them an email, telling them that I'm keen on buying some next week.

I get an immediate response back, saying they have a full range of Vegemite jar sizes, and their store's opening hours, and where to get a good parking spot close to the shop.

I reply, saying thanks and hope to see them soon and glad I was that they were so prompt in answering my inquiry.

I get another reply in return, saying they are early birds who get up way too early, so they can answer their emails and Skype back home to Australia, so I was welcome and they looked forward to meeting me soon.

Another friendly Australian! I bet the whole country is happy...although I'm sure they must have a few grumpy ones, maybe the happy ones do all the travelling, and leave the sour-pusses back at home.

Leaving that random thought, I decide to try some of Dad's fish for dinner tonight. I rug up with gloves and a scarf and go out to the garage and pull a nice-sized salmon out of the big, box freezer.

I put the salmon on a long metal tray and place it in the fridge, to slowly defrost during the day. I would then stuff and season it, ready to bake whole in foil tonight. Baked potatoes, onions, butternut squash and sweet potato would make a perfect warming accompaniment with the salmon, and cook at the same time, right beside the fish in the oven.

I needed to pick up some lemons while I was out, and some more fruit. Fruit, I couldn't stop eating it! Ice cream and custard might be good too, for dessert.

I was looking forward to seeing Angela, and hoping she would like this meal. I'm sure she would, she seemed to like most thing, luckily. It was great having someone who didn't scrunch their noses up, like Charlie used to, he was such a fussy eater.

I found an empty cardboard box and pulled down all of my childhood photos and Charlie and Renee's wedding shots, it was sad. I can see why Dad kept hanging on to these wedding photos; they both look so young and happy.

So in love.

I add all of Charlie's dusty fishing trophies into the box along with the photos.

Damn, the dust on these shelves is nearly an inch thick!

I seal up the box and write on the outside, what's inside it.

Now for that stuffed and mounted fish!

Its time for it to lose its position above the fireplace...Charlie was so proud of it and placed it there to show to the world what a great fisherman he was, the damn thing completely dominated this room. Well, it was going to lose its status in the scheme of things now! That nasty yellow, glass eye had always given me the creeps.

As I reached up and to bring off it's hook, the dust rained down on me... Ugh! Fricken dust!

I start sneezing and sneezing. My nose streamed and eyes watered and itched.

I should organize a garage sale for after I get back, maybe Angela has some things she'd like to part with too, and we could do one together.

I put a pile of things together, ready for a yard sale, and hope that the stuffed fish gets snapped up fast, by another fishing-mad local. So that he can place in his living room to gather decades worth of dust and spook his kids.

Sorry Dad! Please forgive me for hating your prized fish and wanting to get rid of it!

...

As I come out of the shower, happy to get rid of all the dust in my hair, I heard my phone ringing. I rushed over before it goes over into voice mail.

"Esme? Hi, how are things?"

"Oh good Bella dear, we're wondering if you could come early this morning, like in the next half hour? Some of our family are travelling up to see us this afternoon, and it would be great to get our ...err ...session out of the way, before they arrive here."

"Yeah, sure, I'm still fertile today, but I'm guessing it will fade off soon, until next month's ovulation starts. I'm good to go now. I'll come over in ten minutes, how's that?"

"Thanks dear, you have no idea how much we both appreciate what you are doing for us."

"Esme, thanks, but you both have already done a lot for me, so we're all even. I'll see you real soon!"

I towel dry my hair and pull on some warm sweats.

I set Rufus down in his bed with his toy mouse and two warming gel packs, grab my truck keys, wallet and the i Pad, throw them into my bag, and head off out of the house, all rugged up.

Eight o'clock in the morning, and the sun is still trying to come over the horizon, its really frosty and the ice crunches under my feet. My breath billows out as I unlock the truck, and then it takes five minutes to warm Bertha up. The old girl isn't really happy to make a move anywhere soon, she groans loudly as I put my foot down to get her engine going. Good thing I topped up the antifreeze in the radiator.

I should look into getting chains on my tires too, ready for the winter. I really don't like this ice, driving in winter is such a pain.

Lying back on the pillows, once again full of semen... I'm completely relaxed and loving watching 'Chocolat', drooling over Johnny Depp's character the captain of the river rats. Johnny has mastered a perfect, lilting Irish accent, and sounds incredible playing gypsy jazz on his steel string guitar, I sigh.

Marry ME Johnny!

I hear a commotion downstairs, some voices and doors opening and shutting.

Oh goody! Let's just hope the visitors don't feel like popping in here and introducing themselves... while I'm lying full of Carlisle's sperm!

My door flies open and in tumbles a couple of very tall people, a stunning, statuesque, blond woman and a chunky, neckless, muscle-bound guy who looks something like a quarterback.

From this angle, they both seem to be well over six foot tall...

They are so focused on loudly arguing with each other, that they haven't even noticed me, lying here in the bed.

They continue verbally sparing, yelling abuse over the top of each other, and suddenly she starts stripping off her jacket, and throws it on the bed.

He pulls his sweater off and does the same. Her shoes are next, thrown hard across the room.

He grabs her, and she jumps into her arms, wrapping her legs around his middle, as they start kissing and moving towards the bed.

I had to act FAST, before they land here on top of me.

"Hello!" I say politely, trying to gain their attention.

They continue kissing, like there's no tomorrow.

"Hey there, excuse me!" I raise my voice louder, waving my arms around to get their attention from my horizontal position.

She notices something and slows down, but he doesn't seem to want to stop, and forces her mouth back onto his.

"Hey you! DEAF HEADS!" I belt out as loud as my lungs can go, while lying flat on my back.

I put my two pinkie fingers in my mouth and let out a piercing whistle.

That noise finally gets their attention...thank God!

"What are you doing here?" blonde sneers at me, lowering herself down the man's body and rearranging her clothes.

"Who are you?"he asks, looking confused.

"Why are you in our bed?"she huffs, hands on her hips.

I open my mouth to answer, when a flustered Esme rushes in and looks like she's about to unleash a scary tornado in their direction.

"Rosalie and Emmett! I told you, just now when you came in, to go get yourselves settled into the guest room on the third storey, this room is obviously taken...!" Esme stares at the two of them, in fury.

"Who is she? Why can't we stay here? I like this room better, can't she move instead?"

"I want you both out now, please stop disturbing Bella!" Esme points towards the door.

"But..."

"Out! I mean it!" Wow...Esme looks like she's about to blow a gasket.

"Ok, but I'm not happy about this Esme, why does she get priority over us, your family?"

"I'm going to count to three and if you're not out by then, I'll have to ask you to leave my house altogether!" Go scary Esme! Wow, I didn't think she had it in her!

The blond glares daggers at me, huffs loudly, picks up her clothes and leaves.

The man follows her out the door, but momentarily glances back at me curiously, before the blond cuffs him around the back of the head.

Esme is red and shaking.

"Are you ok?" We both asked simultaneously.

I sigh deeply and shook my head. Trying hard to stifle a laugh, the situation would be farcical if it wasn't so embarrassing and important to Esme; I was trying to get a baby started for her, after all.

"Wow, she's charming! Which relative is she...or is it he that you are related to?"

I giggled, even though it was shocking that I had very nearly ended up being in bed with both of them, while they had frenzied, angry sex. Eghh!

It was kind of crazy, me lying here full of Cullen sperm, with visiting relatives storming around the house.

"Esme?"

Poor thing looked like she was in shock.

"Oh Bella dear, I can't even imagine what you must think of us! I'm so terribly sorry! Those two can't even take simple instructions. How they get along in life is beyond me! Please forgive me; their terrible rudeness seemingly knows no bounds."

"Come and sit down, you look like you need it." I patted the bed beside me.

"Rosalie and Jasper are twins, and both are Carlisle's older brother Caius's children, there's no excuse for their appalling behaviour!"

"So what are you going to tell them about me? They were curious, once they actually stopped their wild, angry groping, to notice me yelling at them ...I'm sorry, I don't normally yell at strangers, it's just that..."

"They were in their own little world, yeah I know! Rosalie has always thought that the world revolves only around her. She has always been rude and inconsiderate, a selfish brat, who's grown even worse as the years have gone by."

"So what's the story? Will you tell them what I'm here for?"

"No, not yet, especially after her rudeness to you just now. I'll just say that you are a good friend, who stays here occasionally, if they even bother to ask, somehow, I don't think they'll try and engage me in much conversation after what just happened. She's not used to me standing up to her."

"Ok, well my cycle looks like it has nearly finished the fertile part, for this month. I'm planning to travel back to Monterey leaving early on Friday morning, so if you want me, you can call my cell or email me."

"At least it's sunnier there than Forks, and you'll be catching up with your old professor and his wife, right?"

"Yeah, he's nearly eighty and needs all the help he can get, if he wants to keep lecturing. His wife worries about him and his health, but he doesn't want to settle down and grow petunias just yet." I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"Well, they sound lovely. You don't need to wait around here any longer if you don't want. I can bring you up, some tea and plate of snacks if you feel like something before you go."

"Oh Esme, really, it's fine...I'm fine. I just don't like to see you all upset about those two self-centered...relatives of yours. Promise me you'll not wear yourself out, waiting on them hand and foot, while they are visiting you."

"Oh don't worry Bella, I'm going to make sure they apologise profusely and then take us both out for an expensive dinner, and maybe even force them to make their own bed. They have all walked over me for long enough, and I'm sick and tired of their behaviour! Particularly Rosalie."

I patted her knee, "way to go Esme! That's the spirit!"

"Are you sure I can't get you anything?"

"No I'm all good, thanks anyway. I'll be off shortly. I'll keep in touch while I'm away. Do you want me to strip this bed for you?" I asked.

"No I'll do it. It will help me release some of the stress I'm feeling, after all of that yelling."

I nod, "I'll get out of your hair, in a few minutes," she hugs me and kisses my head.

"I'll see you again darling, and pray that I don't go to jail for strangling my nasty niece! I'll look forward to your calm sanity and sweet gentle humour, promise to email me all the time you are gone, ok?"

Once I'm finally alone, I reach over to the bedside table and grab a panty liner from the packet I keep there, and pull my knickers back on. Then reach down to the floor and grab my sweat pants.

I wiggle my feet into my uggs and pull my hair back into some sort of order.

My hair feels a little thicker, as I drag it through my fingers...it's got more fullness, and body. Maybe it's the new hair products, supplements and better quality food I'm eating now?

I kiss and hug Esme and Carlisle goodbye. He walks me out to Bertha, and apologizes.

"Bella, the one time they come here early, when they always usually show up late. What are the odds? I'm so, so sorry, my niece has no manners. I hope you can forgive us."

I look at him and snort, "You've done nothing wrong Doc, but I'm not sure Blondie and I, will ever be best buds, if you know what I mean! I think its good I'm going away for the week. Just in case she wants to have another go at me and we end up having a full-on fight, in round two. Next time, I'm hoping to at least be vertical! It was kind of hard yelling my lungs out and trying to getting their attention, from an entirely supine position!"

Carlisle chuckled at the thought.

"I'll keep you guys posted as to what my cycle is doing while I'm away, I promise."

"You enjoy yourself while you're away Bella, and we'll see you again, say around five days before your next ovulation?"

"Sure, I'll see you both then."

"Drive safely!"

I waved my arm out of the window as I drive away. I watch as he turns back to his house, looking grim.

Gee, I wonder if Blondie is going to get finally get her comeuppance?

I set down my shopping in the kitchen and the house phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Is Charlie there?" a man asks.

"I'm afraid he died two weeks ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

There was an awkward silence...

"So ...uhh...thanks for ringing." I said, hoping to let him go.

"Ahh, sure, so what's going to happen with his house?"

"I'm living in it". I felt uneasy, who was this guy?

"Right, right ok. I should leave you to it then, bye."

"Yeah bye..." well that was weird! I could sense the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I hope that that wasn't Charlie's drug dealer ringing. I hope Charlie didn't owe that guy any money! 'Cause he sure as hell wasn't getting anything out of me!

I pulled the old, olive green, 1970's, dialing handset, out of the old fashioned phone plug in the wall. The damn thing was probably a collector's item; it would be another thing to sell at a garage sale.

I would be more than happy to not talk to that guy again. Hopefully he hadn't got my cell number or email. I would give the phone company notice of Charlie's death and cancellation of the service.

Let's hope that strange guy didn't feel the need to come around and make personal calls here at the house.

Rufus came racing towards me meowing. He launched himself at my legs and scrambled upward, climbing towards my shoulder.

Crazy cat! He purred in my ear, as he smooched me and rubbed himself on my neck and chin.

"Hello baby! Did you miss me sweetie?" I rubbed his little head and stroked him as he tried walking between my right and left shoulders.

We went into the kitchen; I topped up his food and milk, and put the kettle on to boil. I made myself a sandwich and found a nice apple to bite into.

Going back into the living room, I looked over to the curtains...what to do...what to do?

I dragged a kitchen chair over to the window and looked at how the curtains were attached to the curtain rail.

Hmm, I saw a small screw; it acted as a kind of stopper from losing the whole curtain right off the rail, when someone pulled on it.

Unwinding the screw and gently pulling it off, I was then able to take down the entire heavy, brown curtain. A cloud of dust billowed up, making me cough and splutter. Thick cobwebs were tangled around the top of the window, previously hidden by the top of the curtain. I had no idea just how thick they had built up!

These damn curtains weren't going back up, even if I did get them clean. That's for sure!

I dragged them outside, and happily stuffed them into the bin. It felt good to be free of those dark, dreary drapes.

I grabbed the broom and swept along the top of the window, pulling off the cobwebs with it.

How many years had these been up there?

I shook my head.

I found some of those tee-shirt rags, I had ripped up days ago and made a solution of white vinegar, methylated spirits and water, got back up on the chair, and vigorously cleaned the window, and polished off the streaks with more dry rags.

I ran the wet rags all over the timber work and gathered a heap more dirt and dust.

A ray of light suddenly shot through the clouds, and the room lit up.

Oh my god! This room was amazing without curtains!

There was so much light flooding in.

It lit up this room making it so much bigger and brighter!

I was going to really enjoy redecorating and making it all mine.

Hoped you enjoyed that chapter.