Summary: She's letting it go. Slowly but surely she's moving on, because she refuses to allow the darkness of her past to cloud her future. Their future. Spoilers for Always. Follows Wake To The Light.

Author's Note: I apologize for the long wait between chapters...I was kinda stuck. But apparently all it takes to get back into my groove is watching the kiss scene on repeat a gazillion times. Hence...the second chapter. This did not go as planned and I also didn't get through as much as I'd hoped, so this fic is lining up to be much longer than I anticipated (not that anyone is probably complaining about that fact).

Disclaimer: The Castle crew is still traveling the world. This time I'm in my living room wishing it would stop snowing. Seriously, it's almost June!

Previously: "I love you."

Chapter 2

Kate freezes, her grip unconsciously tightening on his hand, feet rooted to the spot. He keeps walking but is quickly brought to a halt by her un-moving form, her fingers clenching down on his.

"Kate?"

No response.

"Did I hurt you?"

She shakes her head, forces herself to take calming breaths. He loves her. She already knows that, has for almost a year. And yet, this is the first time that the words have spilled from his mouth so freely; no cemetery or bullets or arguments. Just pure, unbridled love.

"Then wha...oh." He replays the words in his head, immediately latches on. "I..."

She turns rapidly, silences him with a firm kiss. It is going to take some getting used to, just simply allowing herself to be loved so openly and wholly. As are his words, spoken so easily. But she does not want him to apologize for them or backtrack or try to explain. She does not want him to hesitate to say them, because she likes...loves...hearing them.

She also knows that it hurts her, probably him too, that she has not yet said it back, and something twists in her chest each time she does not return the sentiment. Because she loves him so much and it is killing her not to tell him but she needs the circumstances to be right because this is important and he is everything and this is it for her even if it is terrifying to consider the permanency of that concept.

So she shows him instead, arms tight around his shoulders as she explores his mouth, tongue hot and probing. He returns the ministrations just as avidly, leaving no doubt as to whether he understands her feelings and intentions. She probably owes him an explanation, and hopefully in the next couple of days she will be able to come up with one that does not sound...pathetic and lame.

But for now, her actions will have to suffice. And given the broad smile on his face as she pulls away, she is pretty sure that it is enough, at least for now.

Castle will not lie to himself and say that he is not dying to hear her say the words, because he is. Wants it, craves it, needs it, almost as badly as he needs her. And he is pretty sure that she does...love him, that is. Pretty sure he understands why she is holding back. He can see it in her eyes every time she looks at him, could feel it last night and this morning in the way she touched him, moved with him. After all, she did give up her mother's case for him. She walked away from her job, from everything she has spent her life fighting, for him. Two days ago, that case was the most important thing in her life. Yesterday, she turned her back on it and came to him, and that puts him somewhere near the top of the list now, right?

They hold each other's gaze for a few moments, Kate allowing her eyes to say what her mouth has not, silently begging Castle to understand, to know that she does love him, more than anything. He squeezes her hand, drops a kiss on the tip of her nose. Kate lifts her free hand to cup his jaw, brushes a light kiss across his lips.

"Didn't mean to catch you off-guard," he murmurs against her lips.

It never ceases to amaze her, just how well he understands her. It used to be terrifying; now it is just one more thing she loves about him.

She shakes her head, kisses him again. "It's okay. It just...I do, Castle," she adds in clarification, suddenly desperate for him to know. "I just...so much has changed and I need..."

"I get it," he says softly. "You need to find your footing."

"Yeah," she breathes, so thankful for her wonderful partner and his patience and understanding and love. "I just...I don't want you to doubt that."

"I don't," he assures her.

"Okay."

She kisses him once more, soft and sweet, before pulling away and continuing on their way to the bathroom. Her hand is still twined with his and it takes a moment for his feet to catch up, his brain to remember where they are going after their moment of...distraction.

Back in the bathroom, Kate reaches for the toothbrush he provided for her last night while he sets about shaving. She finishes first, replaces the toothbrush and searches for a hairbrush, not surprised when she opens the drawer and finds more than one. Only Richard Castle would have as many hairbrushes as she does. She runs it through her hair, unraveling the tangles, then secures her damp curls back into a loose braid.

Kate catches Castle watching her more than once, razor frozen in mid-air, and considers calling him on it until she realizes she is equally guilty. It should bother her, really, that it is only their first morning together and she is standing in his bathroom, in his clothes, leaning against the counter and watching him shave. But it does not, because this is right and she would not trade it for a thing.

"What's for breakfast?" she asks as he stows the razor, runs his fingers through his hair to muss it up in that adorable way.

"Figured I'd do French toast and bacon and eggs. That sound okay?"

The nagging voice in the back of his head is reminding him that he should make pancakes; after all, Esposito had said that they were an edible way of saying 'thank you so much for last night.' But he is not sure anything, words, food, or otherwise, could ever convey his feelings about last night. Or about her in general.

And when she nods and smiles and brushes her lips over his cheek, he decides that he will make her French toast and bacon every single day if it will make her smile at him like that.

Castle is just finishing up the scrambled eggs when the front door opens. He hears footsteps followed by the door closing and a called out 'Dad, I'm home!'

Alexis appears in the kitchen, mouth open, poised to launch into a story of last night's adventures when her eyes land on Kate and she freezes.

"Hey sweetie," Castle says brightly as he empties the rest of the eggs into a large serving bowl, ignoring the instant discomfort that seems to have settled over the room.

"Hi Alexis," Kate offers, not oblivious to the teen's searching eyes and calculating expression.

Alexis looks from her father to Kate, notices the casual attire and the fact that both still have wet hair. It is obvious that Kate spent the night, and Alexis has every reason to be hesitant given recent events between her father and his partner. Not to mention that she really does not need to think about her dad spending the night with anyone, even if it is someone she knows rather than some random woman from a party or book signing.

"Detective Beckett."

Kate has only not been a Detective for less than a day but it already sounds weird as it is no longer her official title. It also sends a pang through her chest, longing and a bit of regret maybe. It is bound to sink in at some point, after all. She just hoped that her inner peace and this blissful new thing with Castle would go unspoiled for longer than one day.

But Alexis is looking at her warily and Kate should probably offer some sort of greeting. "Congratulations," she says, hoping to dispel some of the tension.

"Thanks," Alexis replies with a slightly stilted smile.

Castle finishes setting out dishes with a flourish, steps in to hug his daughter and hopefully ease the atmosphere a bit. "How was your night?"

"So much fun," Alexis gushes, Kate's presence for now seemingly accepted or pushed aside or maybe just plain ignored.

Castle passes around plates and the three of them dish up while listening to Alexis chat about last night, sharing funny stories and anecdotes. Kate sits quietly for the most part, laughing and smiling but speaking minimally. She will have to work things out with Alexis, anticipates a not-so-pleasant conversation with the young girl. But Alexis has a right to be skeptical and to understand where Kate is coming from. And it needs to happen soon, because if the two of them cannot reach an understanding then she and Castle do not stand a chance.

Silence falls only as they finish their meal, Alexis having run out of stories or energy or both. Kate is perched on a bar stool next to Castle and their hands are twined and resting on his thigh, out of view of the teen, but they are sitting close enough that the girl can probably deduce that they are touching in some way. Alexis is sitting across from them, studiously avoiding making eye contact with Kate as she pushes the remaining bite of French toast around her plate.

"Umm, Kate?" Alexis finally asks tentatively, briefly meeting her eyes before glancing away again.

"Yes?"

"What happened to your...umm...neck? Are those bruises?"

Oh. Right. The horrible black and blue hand prints on her skin that look and feel awful, that she has been trying to avoid thinking about. The ones that now have Alexis regarding Kate even more warily than she already was.

"Yes," Kate answers truthfully. Alexis does not need details but she deserves honesty at the very least. "I got in a fight yesterday."

"On a case?"

"Yeah. It was..." her eyes flick to Castle's, unsure of how much she should tell, how much Alexis already knows.

"With a sniper," Castle cuts in. "The man who...at the funeral last year."

He cannot bring himself to say the words 'shot her,' even after a full year has passed, because though the memory has become less overwhelming it is still there and it still haunts him in the dead of night when he cannot sleep.

"Who...oh," Alexis breaths as it dawns on her, the horrific memory flashing through her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I'm...it hurts now, but I will be in a few days."

"Did you get him?"

Kate shakes her head.

"I'm...I'm sorry," Alexis offers, unsure of what else to say. What else is appropriate, really, in this situation?

"It's okay," Kate assures her. "I'm done...I'm done chasing him. It's not worth it."

"Oh." The surprise is obvious in her features. "Okay, well, that's good I guess?"

"It is," Kate agrees quickly, squeezing Castle's hand and offering him a small smile. "It's good."

"Okay," Alexis says more to herself than anyone else, seeming to accept not only Kate's explanation but also her presence at the loft. "Well I haven't slept at all in over a day so I'm going to bed. I'll uh, see you later."

"Sleep well," Castle calls after her as she deposits her dishes in the sink and heads upstairs.

Alexis tosses a smile over her shoulder just as she disappears from view, leaving Castle and Kate sitting awkwardly at the bar.

"Uh, so that didn't go so well," Kate manages finally.

Castle leans over to kiss her cheek, unlacing their hands so he can cup her jaw, soothing away the tense lines that were forming there. "She'll come around," he assures her as he drops to the floor and begins to clean up the mess from breakfast. "Trust me, she will," he adds on at her obvious doubt.

Kate still looks skeptical but pushes it away, clings to Castle's belief in his daughter. She needs things to be okay, because while she would walk away in an instant if Alexis asked her to, it would completely tear her apart and she refuses to imagine her life without Castle, knows that she would never be able to put her heart back together. And she never ever wants to experience that scenario.

They clean in silence, lost in thought as they move around each other as though this is a practiced routine. She washes the dishes and he dries them and puts them away. Leftovers find their way into the fridge and counters are wiped down and if this is how Kate looks in his kitchen, Castle is never going to let her leave.

It is probably too soon to even be thinking about asking her to move in. Hell, they have not even defined what they are yet, though it is not like there is any doubt in either of their minds.

But he is more than ready for her to come live at the loft and fall asleep with him at night and wake in his arms in the morning and make him coffee after breakfast as they sit shoulder-to-shoulder on his sofa both dressed in his clothing. He is ready to see her interact with his daughter on a daily basis and become a part of his family, the missing part that he has yearned for for so long.

She is his forever. He already knows that.

And he desperately wants to make sure that she knows that, too.

Thoughts?