SM owns twilight.

Chapter thirteen.

That night I struggled with sleep, so I got up, made a big mug of hot chocolate and went upstairs to work through some of those undergrad assignments Aro had given me to mark.

I ploughed on, reading and marking, reading and marking... they were all pretty much spouting the same old standard stuff, not really an original thought amongst any of them.

I gave most of them a C, or up to a B+ if the student had actually had put in a little more effort. Then I came across a pure gem, an assignment that sparkled, was witty, concise and perfectly formed. I gladly awarded this masterpiece of writing an A+.

The department had a good system of making sure, that it was hard to work out who had written what, so as to retain fairness and avoid cheating. The students all had a personal code, instead of their name on their work.

Whoever dci-357 was, was undeniably a brilliant writer, someone with a fantastic brain, and I wished I would be able to meet them someday, whoever they were.

I shook my head; the best work really does stand out. I wondered what the student was like? Would they be as funny and interesting in real life, or were they only like that on paper?

When I was writing these very same assignments as a student in first year, I apparently sparkled on paper, but was never so sparkly in class. I was always good at taking a backseat and letting others in the class do all of the grandstanding.

Nevertheless, Aro and my other lecturers, had seen something in me and nourished it, nurtured it and after four years I wasn't a shy wallflower so much anymore. I had gained a lot of confidence and I got asked to spend time assisting PhD students in research trips, and tutoring the students struggling with using English in scientific texts and writing their papers.

All of their successes rubbed off on me and I became proud of not only their achievements, but my own too. I made a lot of firm friends that way, and many still kept in touch via email. It was wonderful when I would see their work published in prestigious science journals, or hear that they were doing some amazing projects, in far-away, exotic locations.

I finished off the remainder of the class' assignments and sat there recording all of the marks and then emailing them off to Aro. If I kept up this rate, I would be finished quickly. At least I had agreed to work, for a set amount of money. Whether I worked fast or slow, was entirely up to me.

I turned off the desk lamp, stretched and yawned. I guess I could go back to bed and sleep.

"Ma'am, I got to say you're looking so much better, each time I catch a glimpse of your pretty face."

He stepped up and looked me up and down.

I started to sweat, I was gasping for air.

"Come here my little honey-britches,

I want to see you eat this chocolate?

Do you like it? Are the flavours just right?

Should I have chosen something more...exciting?

Do you want a challenge? Want to taste me?"

I was grabbing onto something,

My pelvic, back and leg muscles were rhythmically clenching

to the beat of something wild, dangerous and hot... oh!

Huh?

I sat up in bed, my heart pounding, and sweat on my brow.

Breathing fast and looking around like he was in the room right here with me now, tempting me with his sweet treats and his silky, smooth voice.

My vagina was all slippery and clenching, still orgasming, while I tried to shake those thoughts and colourful visions out of my head...and work out what exactly had just happened.

It was a dream, just a weird, wild, chocolate dream with that guy from the store yesterday.

Another wacky, food dream and this one had a dangerous undertone.

I moved to get up and felt dizzy and sick again, great!

I moved as fast as I could and let myself hurl in the loo. It just kept coming in waves, until I was shaking with the effort of staying upright.

Ughh! I hate vomiting! I hope the morning sickness doesn't keep going for too long during the pregnancy.

I rinsed my mouth and went down to the kitchen, with Rufus following me. He was getting good at going up and down the stairs now, and his body had doubled in length and weight.

I still felt the nausea, rolling under the surface ready to erupt again.

I got some hot ginger and lemon tea and Vegemite toast, slowly into me, with small sips and bites.

I sighed in relief, as it worked its magic and the nausea went away.

It was only five in the morning and it was as good a time as any, to start making some delicious pies, to pay Esme back, for all of her presents yesterday and today.

I wasn't worried that my hair was still a fright, and I was still wearing an old nightie that was very comfortable, but not one of the most attractive pieces of nightwear in the world.

Who would see me, no-one except Rufus right?

I pulled an ancient, tattered, hand-written recipe book of Nanna Swan's, out of the cupboard and looked up her pecan, pumpkin and lemon meringue pie recipes.

I set the oven to heat, and found all of the ingredients, as well as the pie dishes I would need. Nanna Swan was renowned throughout the county for her pies and won a lot of prizes at the county fair every year. She was one who never gave these recipes away to anyone, except me, her one and only grand child.

Charlie never bothered to cook and Rene never followed a recipe in her life, but me... being a scientific, measured, rational person... who even liked following the rules and wasn't wildly creative... I loved following my Nanna's recipes, to the letter!

After I finished baking the pies, I hoped to bake some brownies, and experiment with the flavours a little, just like Nanna Swan always did.

In fact her brownies were her real favourite, and she mixed up the toppings or flavours, to surprise everybody, making a game out of getting them to guess all the ingredients.

I chuckled, maybe if Charlie would have learnt to cook brownies, he might have been able to incorporate his dope more easily into his diet, and manage his pain better, instead of smoking.

His lungs were the problem and his surreptitious dope smoking, only exacerbated the inflammation in his trachea and lungs, which in turn, increased his chest pain in the long term.

I had put the pecan pie into the oven first, and had set the assembled, uncooked pumpkin pie aside, ready to put it into the oven, when I heard a noise outside. I guess that would be Esme delivering the timber, ready to construct the window seat today.

I heard a knock.

"Come in Esme!" I hollered, not wanting to leave the kitchen, as I had to co-ordinate the swapping of the pecan pie, for the pumpkin pie, in and out of the oven... without losing too much heat, or making a big mess with the sloppy, pumpkin mixture.

"Well, something smells mighty fine, what's cookin' good lookin'?"

I jumped and squeaked in fright; luckily I'd just gotten the pumpkin pie settled inside the oven and shut the oven, before I heard his satin voice speak from somewhere near the kitchen door.

"Jasper, would you stop scaring Bella! Hi sweetie, why are you up so early?"

I coughed and spluttered. I blushed and caught sight of my wild hair and ugly nightie in the window's reflection.

"Umm, I couldn't sleep so I got up and thought that now was as good a time as any, to start cooking your pies." I mumbled.

"Well they do smell delicious, my mouth is watering already. I can't wait to taste them. Jasper's helping me today, as his truck can carry all of the timber and tools. We'll go get started." Esme said cheerfully, heading out the door.

"Ok I'll make some coffee for you and go brush my hair, it looks like a bird's nest! Ahh, it's nice to meet you Jasper, I'm Bella."

"Yes, I know." He smiled at me, like he could pull all of my secrets from me, with just one smouldering look. I grinned back, and raced off up the stairs.

Why does he have to be Esme's nephew? The one who has all of those crazy, tumultuous relationships?

I could see exactly why he was having trouble, he was entirely too good looking and smooth talking for his own good!

I could see why he and Rosalie would be twins too! Both of them were tall and blond, and insanely, unnaturally, ridiculously good looking!

And why oh why, did I wake up this morning, dreaming of him in a bizarre sequence of chocolate and danger...ending in a super intense orgasm, the most intense ever!

I shuddered.

I was going to have to pull myself together and get a grip on reality!

Someone like him and someone like me, will never and can never, ever be friends, let alone something more.

It was like he was another species entirely, one from a planet where they only allowed the good looking ones to make babies, and the uglier ones stayed sterile.

I blew out a big breath, I needed to tame my hair and get dressed in something more suitable than an ancient nightie. My new, stretchy- waisted, black, yoga pants felt good around my bloated middle, and still looked neat enough. I spritzed my hair, with some special, conditioning stuff to help tame it, and ran a comb through it so it would sit nicely.

I decided on wear a long sleeved tee and over it, I threw one of my grandpa Swan's colourful Hawaiian shirts. I never got to meet him sadly, but if I was cooking his wife's recipes today, I would proudly wear his shirt in remembrance of his great love for her and her delicious cooking.

Rufus watched them setting up the construction gear in the living room, and I put on the coffee and made myself some more tea.

I checked the pumpkin pie; it always took a long time to bake.

Thank heavens, it would give me plenty of time to cook a little breakfast for them and maybe some more for myself as well.

I ended up doing more cooking, occasionally coming into the living room to check on their progress, it was well underway. Jasper was not only skilled with his hands, but he was good at taking Esme's directions too.

I watched them work together, as a well oiled team and smiled to myself.

Maybe Jasper isn't such a one trick pony after all! Maybe he can actually do stuff other than break girl's hearts and talk smooth!

On our first coffee break, Jasper eyed me like a hawk and watched as I tucked into some bacon and eggs on Vegemite toast.

"It's great to see a girl eat!"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise and kept chewing, I was famished!

"Most of the women I know, never hardly eat anything! It's like they live on thin air or something."

I shrugged and turned to conversation to Esme.

"It's looking great already Esme, you two do much building work together before?"

"No, this is the first time I've had Jasper as an assistant, he's learning fast though, aren't you?"

"I'm trying to pick up some skills so I can fix up my old family home outside of San Francisco."

I nodded, "where is the house exactly?" I couldn't help asking...I had to know.

He smiled, "It's in Rio del Mar."

"That's in Monterey Bay, near where I studied for the last four years, in Monterey. We are kind of neighbours!"

"Wow, Esme and Carlisle said you studied, but I didn't know we're down there near my place. Aren't you studying environmental science?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"That's the same course I've been studying, by correspondence for a while now. I can't seem to study full time, because of all of my other commitments."

I nodded.

Esme smiled, "Jasper is a photographer for 'National Geographic', and he can't stay for in California long periods, he's always on the move going far and wide on exciting assignments."

"Wow, 'National Geographic'! I bet you go so many amazing places and see so much. I can see how your work commitments would get in the way of your studying full time. I'm sort of stuck here too. Doing other things, while my professor wants me back there, completing honours and getting stuck into a PhD project."

I winked at Esme; we both know what it is, that's keeping me here.

I'm not sure if she's told Jasper our secret, pregnancy news yet. I hope not, it would be awkward as hell to try and explain.

"I'm really looking forward, to the uni putting their curriculum online. It seems to be delayed for some reason, and it's quite frustrating waiting for them to get into gear and actually do it." Jasper grumbled.

"You're studying environmental science, by correspondence then, online would be so much easier. Which college are you with?"

I was shocked when he said it was my college and my department. I smiled when I thought that there was a high possibility, that I was marking his course work, upstairs right at this very moment! Also, that I would be setting out the full course curriculum in Environmental Science, for him to study sometime, during the next few months.

It was a small, small world.

Here was a man who travelled, and studied and photographed.

A man so fine, it should be illegal.

"I'm about to pull the brownies out of the oven want one guys?" I smirked.

Of course I knew he'd be unable to resist these little beauties, my Nanna had a wonderful touch with cooking and I had inherited it from her.

They nodded and smiled at the same time.

"Excellent! I'll make you some more coffee to go with them."

The pecan and pumpkin pies were all done, as well as my first batch of brownies. These had been made with dark chocolate and a small amount of chilli flavour and fine almond flakes over the top. I sprinkled over icing sugar, to add to the 'wow factor', placed them on Nanna Swan's best china plates, with little cake forks and napkins.

I bought out the tray with the freshly brewed coffee and luscious brownies, and to look on Jasper's face was priceless.

He gaped at me as I set the tray down and handed him a dainty plate.

"Tell me what you think; it's a variation on my Nanna's recipe. I was inspired by the conversation Jasper and I had in the shop yesterday."

He looked lost for words again and glanced down, taking a piece out of the brownie with his tiny cake fork, and putting it in his mouth. He moaned, his eyes closing ...hopefully with delight and not agony!

Esme did the same, but didn't groan so loudly.

"Oh My God! This is amazing! I haven't tasted anything so sweet and sinful since South America! Shit Bella, where'd you learn to cook so well? You are very talented! Can I have another one? Please?"

I had no idea that he had virtually inhaled the first one so fast! I laughed.

"Maybe later, they taste much better cold. And I want to save some for Angela and Carlisle too."

"Oh!" Poor guy looked disheartened.

Esme nudged him, "come on Jasper, let's get this finished up and vacuumed, so and I can bring in the cushions to complete the seat. Bella you really are a very talented cook, and I'm not just saying that because you are a great friend to me and Carlisle either!"

While they got on with the finishing touches to the window-seat; making the bench-top and adding the hinges; I got on with the lemon meringue pie. I'd already baked the crust and poured in the thick, lemon layer.

I washed out the mixing bowl and beaters with hot water, so they were super clean and free of anything to stop the egg whites forming into stiff, white peaks. I started the noisy beating process and slowly added in the caster sugar, to make it exactly right. I kept beating it till it held firm and didn't collapse. I nodded to myself.

"You look like poetry in motion." Jasper muttered when I turned off the racket.

I looked up; Jasper was smirking at me from the doorway.

I huffed and smiled. "The next bit will take some concentration, so don't scare me again, ok?"

"Yeah sure, I'll stay right here."

I gently poured out the meringue on the top and smoothed it out, then went over the top, making small wavy peaks. When I was happy with how it looked, I opened the oven door and gently placed it inside.

"Perfect! You should see the look of concentration on your face, its brilliant! I wish I could photograph you, you are fascinating!"

I huffed and shook my head. "No I'm not."

"Yes you are Bella, you truly are fascinating, I don't hand out praise lightly."

Huh! I had no idea what to say to that, I'd apparently run out of smart remarks.

I yawned and stretched, I'd had an odd morning and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet. I sat down feeling a little light headed.

"Here dear, have a glass of water you look a little pale." Esme said.

"Thanks, could you pass me my supplements? I forgot to take them earlier."

Jasper watched and curiously picked up the bottle.

"Bella, I didn't know you were expecting a baby."

I bit my lip and looked down, and back up at Esme...what should I say?

"Bella is pregnant, just in the early stages, aren't you?"

"Yeah I haven't told anyone except Esme and Carlisle yet, it's not something I won't too many people to know about, just yet."

"Oh, right...I can keep quiet. Doesn't the father know that you are having his baby?"

"Uhh, yes he does."

"There's nothing wrong with being a single mother Bella, not these days. But doesn't the father of the baby want to be with you and help you?"

"Umm, he's not able to leave his wife, but he is helping me."

I looked at Esme, hoping she would think of something to say, which would stop Jasper from asking anymore questions, or making any assumptions.

"I ...can't really talk about it any more Jasper." I said finally.

"Wait just a minute!...You said that you have only told Carlisle and Esme, and the father knows and is married...are you...have you...are you having a baby with Uncle Carlisle? Did you and Uncle Carlisle...have an affair? Did you condone this Esme? This is crazy! My own family! The only sensible ones in the whole Cullen clan, and even they have gone completely, stark-raving mad!"

He looked furious and turned around and ran out of the house.

Esme sighed and ran after him.

Oh God! If this a small taste of what's going to happen, when people find out about me and the Cullens...

If this is how it's going to be, I may as well get prepared for all of the crazy shit to rain down on my head, earlier than I expected!

"I still can't believe it! I get the gist of what you three agreed to do, but it is still spinning me out! I mean, how are you going to deal with all of the fall out and why would someone as bright as you Bella, put yourself in such a fucked up situation?"

Esme had dragged Jasper back into the house after telling him the basics of our surrogacy agreement.

He'd started apologizing, to me for making assumptions, but then went into a long-winded, philosophical discussion, about the all of ethics and dynamics of the situation.

I sat silently, tears rolling down my face.

"I don't think it's really any of your business Jasper. I would just ask you to please not share your distress and angst with anyone else. Keep it to yourself, at least until Carlisle and I are completely ready to tell people. You need to stay quiet, for all of our sakes." Esme said seriously.

"Ok, but tell me why ...why did you do it Bella?"

"Jasper," I sighed, "I don't think you would ever understand."

"Oh really? Just try me!" He challenged.

"Have you ever been totally alone in this world, with no one to turn to?"

"No."

"Have you ever seriously been about to be homeless?"

"No."

"Have you ever given up all of your dreams, in order to care for a dying family member suffering in awful, chronic, untreatable pain?"

"No."

"Have you ever been hungry, for weeks and weeks at a time, with hardly any food to eat because you had to share the small amount you had with your sick father, and there was no extra money to feed you both properly?"

"No. But what about soup kitchens?"

"Ha! What about them? There aren't any in Forks. I was working as a casual, pretty much with full time hours, but still not earning enough to pay all of the bills, as well as feed myself and my dad. It's called being part of the working poor Jasper, that's how it is for millions and millions of people every day, for the whole of their lives."

"Have you ever had to watch over someone you love, die a slow death from a suicide attempt?"

"No."

"Have you ever lost a simple, low-paying job, just because you couldn't make it to work, due to your dad being taken to hospital in a coma, halfway dead?"

"No. But..."

"Have you ever had to bury any family members, with your mother unable to attend the funeral... because she couldn't give a shit?"

"No...why would she do that to you?"

"Has your future ever looked so bleak and hopeless, that you saw no way forward, other than to follow your dead father into his grave?

"No...Bella, you ..."

"Have you ever seen someone who has worked hard all their life, been a responsible, upstanding citizen, and paid their taxes become penniless and nearly homeless because his health insurance refused to cover his treatment and he had not been allowed access to social security, due to bungling, bureaucratic ineptitude?"

"No, I've heard about people like that, but never met any."

"Ok then, I have made my point! You will never be able to understand my position, and why I decided to chose becoming a surrogate mother for the Cullens, the way I did."

He looked sad.

"But hear this Jasper, I did choose the Cullen's, and they chose me. I made a choice and what's more, I'm glad I did! Because for the first time ever, I have more than just financial security and a future, I have hope. I have something wonderful to hope for and live for, and I'm really looking forward to giving Esme and Carlisle, two of the nicest people I've ever met, a family of their very own."

He looked right at me.

And I looked back at him.

I got up and hugged Esme.

"So please, no more questions Jasper. We don't need it and it won't change anything. Just accept it and be thankful for all of your blessings, be thankful that you have a great life, doing exactly what you love!"

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