A/N: Hey guys! This is an idea that has been floating around my head for the longest time (like since I was 10). I was just looking for the perfect characters and I hetalia-fied it a bit! :3 It's basically a comedic take on the end of the world and a certain Special Relationship. Btw this first chapter will be to the point and blunt. I just wanted to see what you guys thought of my concept and writing style! :) I hope ya like! Please read and review so I'll know! :D Yay! Mah First Fanfic! Oh and I have nothing against Japanese Interns. I swear! Oh, one last thing: half the locations in Europe aren't really there (other than the cities of course). I just used them for plot development. Please don't kill me .
Disclaimer: I'm sorry but I don't own Hetalia *cries* Hidekaz Himaruya is the lucky soul that does!
Chapter 1: Never Trust a Japanese intern
Everybody loves Japan; he's always on time to meetings, he's quiet, and he never screws up. Or, so you thought. In December 2012, Japan screwed up. Big time. In fact you could say, he brought the end of the world. But it's not like little Kiku meant it. Not at all. In fact, he was just trying to make a simple Zombie video game. Yeah, we said zombie. And yes, it was a Zombie Apocalypse game. It might seem like your typical "zombies taking over humanity and eating people" sorta apocalypse but there was so much more planned to it. In fact, the game was targeted at conquering countries. It turned our great nations into normal humans. That's probably why it was so hard to shut down. Many nations fell victim to this apocalypse. Japan had only meant to make this as a stress reliever after another failed world meeting. But unfortunately, somehow the premise for the game ended up in a lab and the Japanese thought he really wanted for this world to be zombified and devastated. Puzzled as they were, they fashioned our present day world into this mess. Only a couple nations made it out barely alive to shut down this devastation. Can you guess who? Actually I'll just tell you, too many nations after all. They were: America, England, Germany, Italy, Hungary, Prussia, France, Spain, Japan, and last but not least (though the others may have forgotten him) Canada. Actually, this time they couldn't forget Canada. He actually has an episode but that comes up later. Switzerland and Liechtenstein don't count 'cause they're always in their "permanent neutrality barrier" or whatever. There were a few other nations but these were the countries that got credited. But Japan didn't mess up everything. He did improve some of the relationships between our lovely nations. And we all know that the "Special Relationship" needed some patchwork (hint hint wink wink). But without further adieu, here is our story (yes the title is a reference to the REM song).
It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, the birds were singing, and the sky was the color of America's eyes. Perfect day right? Not if you're a country! Japan had had it with the sexual tension in the conference room. France, England, and America were arguing in one corner (probably because France had touched England's ass again). Germany was scolding Italy for surrendering to a group of realtors (but all Italy could think about was what kind of pasta the cafeteria had that day). Spain was trying to give Romano a hug, who obviously refused and called him a "tomato bastard". Austria, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein (I hope I spelled that
right!) were all talking about the price of food these days while Prussia tried to grab Austria's vital regions and Hungary smacked him with a pan. Greece was sleeping. And Canada tried to get himself noticed. Pretty normal day EXCEPT that Japan was starting to get angry. He was already sick from the Earthquake last year and couldn't deal with all this yelling.
Finally Germany got everyone in order, "EVERYONE SHUT UP! THIS IS JUST A REPEAT OF ZE FIRST EPISODE! EVERYONE SIT DOWN BEFORE I BRING OUT A GRENADE AND BLOW UP THE CAFETERIA!" This got everyone to get in their seats immediately. Germany sighed, "Vell, ve still haven't solved ze oil problem in Iran. I zink ve should call it a day. Guten Tag!"
Italy tagged along yelling, "Ve! Ve~ Germanyyyyy!" The other nations also began to leave. The only ones left in the room were America, England, and Japan. "So...whaddya say?"
England grimaced, "America, I can't just head over to Chicago right now. Besides, you're in a recession. You shouldn't be wasting money. And I have stuff to do...France and I have to go negtiate with-"
"Why the hell are you always with France? I bet you guys shag each other every night right?" said America with anger in his eyes.
Now it was England's turn to glare, "America! You're being unreasonable! We don't and you know it! Stop acting like a spoilt immature prat!"
America's narrowed into icy blue slits, "Oh...so back to the revolution are we? Let it go England! Now who's the immature brat?" They went on and on, spewing insults and piercing words. Japan sighed. 'Why can't they just get along? It's obvious that they care a lot for each other...I need to take some time off politics. It's driving me insane. I'll just make another game...'
And with that, Japan created the Zombie game that made us humans become zombies and the handful of nations had to escape it. And the nations who were not listed, well, they were Zombie-fied too. But they were like Zombies on steroids. Oh, let me explain one thing: these "Zombies" weren't the rotting human flesh beings you saw in Zombie-land or I am Legend. They looked and acted just like Humans. The only difference was the strange swirly crest on their necks and their eyes that would flash red from time to time (Yeah, you have no idea how many times poor Prussia got mistaken for a Zombie). They're just called Zombies because Japanese people for some reason like to use the English Language in their games and anime.
And then an idiotic Japanese intern mistook Japan's game file for a file that needed to go to a science lab (good job man!). And that's how it all started...
America's eyes lit open. The sunlight streamed in and shone on his tanned, handsome face. He felt different, as if a large burden had been lifted off of him but he also felt...weak. He then took a look around his room, or what was left of it. There was trash everywhere, the bed sheets ripped, and the once great city of New York had been reduced to falling buildings and debris. America thought he was dreaming. He tried pinching himself. The lone structure still
standing was the Empire State building. If that wasn't enough to piss America off, the Statue of Liberty was covered in spray paint. America's cerulean eyes narrowed. "All right. Who the FUCK messed with Lady Liberty?" Whoever was behind this, was going to get nuked. Big Time! Then the phone rang. America rushed to pick it up. "Hello?"
"America...thank god your alright..." the voice whispered.
"England? What's wrong? Did you get hit too?"
England paused, "Yeah...the strangest thing happened. I was attacked by David. He tried to hit me with a chair." America's eyes widened. David Cameron was the Prime minister of England. Why on earth would he attack England? From the sound of it, he'd been hit pretty hard too. America grit his teeth. It didn't make sense
"Also...he had these strange markings on his neck, like three spirals going inward. And his eyes would randomly flash red...urgh.." America panicked. "Hang on Britain! You're gonna be ok! Captain America's coming to save you!"
Arthur chuckled albeit a bit weakly, "You're...such a...git...always were..."
The phone hung up. America ran to JFK (the airport! :D) and tried to book a flight but, no one was at the airport. So, being the rich asshole nation he was, America took his private jet there. England was in bad shape too. Big Ben was alive, to say the least, but the London Bridge had fallen down. Again. America had decided to land his jet near England's home. England, being the gentleman he was, lived in a rather modest Victorian styled home. America saw England on the porch, gasping for air. He ran to his fellow nation. "Britain! Are you ok? You're-You're covered in bruises..."
Britain snorted. "Yes America, I'm completely fine after being beat by a man who is supposed to be my close frie-urghh!"
"England...these are just bruises...why aren't you healing?" panicked America.
England's emerald eyes widened at the sudden realization. "I...don't know."
"Hold on England! I'll heal ya!" shouted America. He began to reach into his pocket.
England moaned, "Urgh America...those wretched hamburgers are not going to-arghh!"
America smirked, "That was kinda hot England...if only you were that exciting at night." The Briton blushed and started to slap the American. "Shut up wanker!"
America gasped, "England! I can't do it anymore..."
England responded dryly, "What? No hamburgers falling out of your pocket?"
Violently shaking England's shoulders, America cried, "They're gone! My burgers! I used to be able pull anything out of my pocket and now that ability-Ar-Artie...I think we're human now!" England gasped. Then he realized something 'wait a minute...', "Did you just call me Artie?"
America shrunk down, like an innocent child who had just failed his first test. "What's the problem? I used to call you that all the time back in the Jazz Age..."
England suddenly calmed down and relaxed his eyebrows. "I don't know. It seems the author is just trying to make the scene move along..."
America gasped, "Artie! Did you just break the fourth wall?"
it was England's turn to gasp. "I suppose I did! Damn!"
The phone rang. Once more Alfred rushed over and picked it up, "Hello?"
"America-san! There has been a huge mistake in my lab!" said the distraught voice.
America raised his eyebrows, "Japan? Dude! what happened? I think me and Britain here have been turned into humans!"
Japan took a deep breath, "Basically, the world has been altered into my zombie videogame. Many of the nations have fallen under the control of the zombies-"
America interrupted, "Wait! We didn't see any Zombies! in fact there were hardly any people when I entered London or back in NYC! The only human we had contact with was David who beat poor England here within a couple inches of his life!"
England was annoyed. America made him seem weak. He grunted, "America! Put it on speaker...I want to hear this too!" BEEP. Now both countries could hear the distressed nation's pleas.
"America-san the Zombies are not the normal rotting human corpses you see in movies. They look and act like real humans. The only difference is the crest on their necks and the constant red flashing of their eyes..." Both blondes looked at each other with wide eyes at the sudden realization.
Japan sighed, "The only way to stop them is to first gather up as many allies and supplies you can. So far Germany, Italy, France, Prussia, and Spain are alive and well. You'll now need food to survive. It's no longer a luxury, so be thankful if you find any food at all. Then, try to find weapons: guns, bombs, or even tanks will help. Afterwards, we have to find the base where the Zombie's brain waves are being controlled from. Instead of an antagonist, I made it so that a failed government experiment to control its citizens into not questioning its ideals was abandoned on an island. The machine was restarted by a curious man on the island for it had started to become populated and that commenced the chaos you see now. The Zombies are
now being commanded to brainwash its nations but I do not know the machine's plan once they have you under their influence-"
"Haha! Under the influence..."
"Shut up America." groaned England. In response, America made his famous puppy dog eyes (you know the ones that got Japan to pay for the Christmas party? Yeah, even I can't resist them) England groaned, if he didn't know him, the Brit probably would've fallen for it.
"Anyway I suggest you drop your nation names. It's basically asking for Zombies to come after you..." said Japan.
"Well what're we waiting for? Let's go!" America yelled at the top of his lungs with a proud smile.
England grabbed the eager boy's wrist, "Wait! America we have to know where the other nations are and where the island is!"
Unbeknownst to them Japan was smiling, 'At least they're somewhat getting along...' ."England-san you're right. The island is located near Seychelles..." America pouted. He knew as soon as England saw her he would get tsundere-ish as Japan called it. America never understood why England never got like that around him. It wasn't fair.
"And most of the nations are at Germany's house. I will be here at my home. I will buy you as much time as I can. I have to go now. There are Zombies outside my door. Sayonara! Good Luck minna-san!"
England looked at America for a while. "Well what're you waiting for Arthur? Let's go!" said America with a winning smile.
England's eyes widened. "Wait! America we have to tal-" America pressed his finger against England's lips.
"Nooo! I'm not America anymore, I'm ALFRED. Got it? And you're Arthur. Ok?" Ame-ALFRED pulled his finger away and winked. Eng-Arthur blushed and began to trace his lips with his finger tips. When was the last time the two of them had communicated properly? The Cold War? World War Two? World War One? Arthur followed Alfred but then heard a SMASH. It was David again.
The once calm and gentlemanly composure that David had was gone. He was covered in sweat and blood. He had fire in his eyes, along with a baseball bat. Arthur clutched onto Alfred for dear life. Alfred stood in front of Arthur grabbing the nearest hard object he could find (a lamp). Arthur had to admit America did look like a hero but he didn't have to be the only one. Gentlemen could be heroes too! Arthur stumble up the stairs and to his room. For now it was just America and David.
"Come at me bro!" said America.
David made a battle cry and lunged forward, only to be hit in the back of his head by Arthur with a cricket bat.
"Sorry David...let's go Alfred!" Arthur grabbed the American's hand and they ran out of the Briton's once beautiful home. Alfred blushed at the thought of how perfectly their hands fit in the other's. When Alfred looked back, the lush garden Arthur would break his back taking care of was diminished to a pile of dead leaves and unfertile dirt. The sight saddened Alfred. Although Arthur was stuck up sometimes, he did work hard to take care of what he loved. "Alfred! Are you listening?"
Alfred snapped back to reality. "What? Sorry..." he said sheepishly.
Arthur sighed, "Ugh...what I was saying was that since you'd complain if I did it, I'll gather food and you gather supplies like toiletries and all that palaver...ok? We've got to get to Germany as soon as we can alright? Meet me in the forest right outside the city ok?"
"Roger that!" said Alfred with a salute and a toothy grin.
Alfred ran through shop after shop, salvaging any kind of food there was left (better be safe than sorry. They couldn't run out of food, even as humans Nations had larger appetites than normal humans. A similar case of being turned human happened when the world was invaded by Pictonians). He passed by what used to be a pharmacy. 'Crap! Artie's hurt! Ugh I can't believe I'm so selfish and stupid! I forgot all about it til now...' Alfred found a first aid kit and tucked it into his brown suede satchel. 'I wonder if...we'll get a chance to talk tonight about our...issues. I sure hope so...' Alfred pulled on his aviator hat and goggles to hide his face and walked through the street. There were numerous "Zombies" passing him by without so much as a second look. 'I thought this would be a LOT harder...' He spotted an old army barrack located just outside the city. He went in and found it was a warehouse with numerous weapons. Definitely useful. I'll take a couple weapons. Couldn't hurt right?' Alfred grabbed an M16 Rifle for himself and slung it over his shoulder. He also got a small Glock 17. For Arthur, he got a Smith and Wesson Model 10 and an M1 Carbine. He also grabbed extra ammo, cherry bombs, gas bombs, and a few pistols. He grabbed some pillows and blankets, and he grabbed some uniforms and helmets, for protection. Oh and he grabbed a ton of soap too. As well as lots of beef jerky and other dried food (another precaution). It was a clear winter night. The air smelled of smoke (you know how sometimes when it's cold it smells smoky? I love that smell!). Alfred shivered in his bomber jacket and wrapped his arms around himself. He finally saw a cluster of trees and darted into the woods located near the barracks. He figured this was the forest Arthur had been going on about.
His ears perked up. He heard the leaves rustle and began loading his rifle. He turned around and readied his gun and to his relief, it was- "Alfred! what're you bloody doing?" said the cranky Brit. Uh oh. This looked bad.
"Sorry Artie...I'm just a bit paranoid is all." said Alfred with a sheepish grin. Arthur took a look at the golden boy and tried to choke back a laugh. Emphasis on tried. He really just lost it. Alfred blushed and frowned, "Wh-what is it Arthur? Why are you laughing?"
Arthur began regaining his composure, "Heheh. It's nothing, you just remind me of when you were young. You would always take my stuff and wear it you know? Especially my pirate paraphernalia. It was adorable really. But, you do look sharp Alfred. My WW2 uniform suits you." said Arthur with a cocky grin.
Alfred blushed once more. "Hey! I'm not a kid! Besides, I'm still wearing MY bomber jacket and MY hat and MY goggles. Oh, Arthur...I got you this..." He pulled out the first aid kit and gave it to Arthur. Arthur's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Th-thank you Alfred...I didn't think you would remember my inju-agh!" Arthur winced at his left shoulder. Red began to seep through his white shirt.
"Hold on Artie!" cried Alfred. The two men walked deeper into the forest with Arthur slung around Alfred's left side for support. They finally reached a clearing "Lie down and let me fix you up ok?" said Alfred. Arthur felt the blood rushing to his cheeks as Alfred peeled of his shirt and discarded it. He carefully placed Arthur's head on his lap and applied cooling cream on his cuts and bandages on his left shoulder. "Oh yeah! I think we're in deep enough that we can light a fire right Artie?" said Alfred with a grin. Arthur nodded. Alfred got out a lighter and began looking for dry wood. A few minutes later hot fusion of red, orange, and yellow warmed the two of them up.
Arthur slowly sat up and shivered. Alfred tossed the Brit his bomber jacket, "Here..y-you need it more than I do..." The American blushed and turned his head away. Arthur looked at the jacket, "Um...thanks...". Both men looked at the fire in an uncomfortable silence. Alfred swore he heard crickets chirping in the background, as if to mock him. Alfred used his arms to provide some warmth but to no avail. Arthur took note of this and scooted up next to him. "Why did you think I shag France behind your back?"
Alfred widened his eyes but then sighed, "I dunno...it's just not fair is all..." Alfred looked up at the clear night sky. "It's just...I'm across the Atlantic and...he's just a hop across the English Channel. No matter how you look at it...he'll always be closer to you. That makes me angry...so angry. I can't be your hero then..."
Arthur was shocked. Alfred wasn't simply accusing him, he was just jealous. The thought made him giggle. "W-what? Why do you keep laughing at me?" said a flustered Alfred.
Arthur laughed, "Nothing git! And don't worry about France! I've hated his guts since I was born and I can stand to hate them a while longer."
Alfred frowned, "This...is so weird. I've never felt this easy around you before. I always felt like I had to call you an old man and rub it into your face that I won the Revolution but
now...the urge is gone...this isn't like when we got attacked by the Pictonians. Maybe it's because no one else is around? Maybe? I dunno?"
Arthur furrowed his brows, "Now that you mention it...I do feel like a burden has been lifted from me. I think being here alone with you is a bit easier."
Alfred relaxed and smiled, "Yeah.." They both looked at each other in contentment for a while. Emerald eyes meeting Azure. Alfred had begun to lean in until- "Anyway I should probably start getting dinner ready." said Arthur. He began to unload all the food he had been able to salvage. Alfred groaned, 'Damn Arthur for being so dense! And he says I can't read the atmosphere? Well, then again I did think it was a book but still!'
"Looks like I can make some stew! I got enough water for it..." said Arthur with a grin. Alfred turned around shocked. 'Oh crap! Arthur's cooking! Why didn't I do it when I had the chance? Gah! We can't get sick! We gotta get to Germany's house!' "Uh yeah...you do that England!" said Alfred with a nervous laugh.
Arthur narrowed his eyebrows, "Alfred-!" Alfred shuddered, 'Did he figure out I'm lying? And we were getting along so well too...'
Suddenly, they both heard something rustling in the bushes. Alfred grabbed his M16 while Arthur grabbed his Smith. Someone peered out of the bushes. Both nations (or humans now) stared at the person with shock. There was just no way this person could be-?
A/N: Mwahahahhahahahhahaha! I'm so evil! So do you think it's a friend or foe? Why is Alfred so sensible? Why is Arthur so happy all of a sudden? what do you think of my writing style? What DID Kiku mean by Under the Influence? How DO you solve world Hunger? All these questions will be answered next time on "It's the End of the World As We Know It"! Except for the last two. Those were just there for comic relief (or attempted comic relief is more like it). So yeah R & R please? And look forward to another Chappy soon! BTW HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!