SM owns twilight.

Chapter eighteen.

I set out back home to Forks.

Rufus rode shotgun, paws up on the window, enjoying the scenery as it flew passed and the sun shining. When he got sick of looking out the window, he curled up on the seat and decided that sleeping the hours away, would be a better use of his time.

As I drove, I got to thinking about everything that Pia had said to me before I left.

"Bella mamina, you can play this situation hot...just like all of those other women who have pursued him relentlessly, and end up becoming disposable to him."

"Or you play it cool, and let him work for your affections. Let him do the chasing, the pursuing, and the bargaining. All his life he has had women throw themselves at him. He has never had to lift a finger in pursuit of love."

It was true... I would bet almost anything that Jasper had never had to try; it was always given to him freely, and without restrictions.

"This is how you will get him, when he decides to come and get you...and he will; you make it not so easy for him. You have to become a woman who knows her own worth and doesn't give in too quickly."

"In behaving this way, you become totally irresistible, unattainable, and the ultimate forbidden fruit. He'll do anything, and be anything to deserve your love. Don't give your love away for free!"

Aro agreed with Pia. He said the old fashioned way, was always the best, and men liked to earn the woman's love and respect.

I laughed when he told me to remember, all of those male birds who have to put on a big show in order to receive a female's attentions. The females go for the most impressive, well plumaged male, not any dowdy, old prospect.

He also said that Jasper Cullen may certainly be ready to drop his old ways, when I became someone who caught his attention. And he said rather cryptically, that Jasper had great potential as a perfect mate for me. I shook my head with all the biology analogies.

I was sad to say goodbye to these two dear people. I was indeed blessed with wonderfully wise people who helped me out.

Pia made sure I had plenty of snacks and drinks packed in the car, to keep me going for the long drive back. Aro had supplied all of the information that I needed, to get on with my next job.

I had no idea what the hell I was going to tell the Cullens, when I saw them.

I can just imagine it... going something like..."Hi, I'm in lust with your philandering, man-whore of a nephew Jasper. He wants to add me to his collection of 'friends with benefits'. Isn't that just great!"

I clearly remember Carlisle's description of Jasper and Edward, about both of them being miscreants.

I shook my head, seeing as how Jasper's the only guy I have ever let kiss me, and who I've been dreaming so much about... it's not like I'm going to be, so very difficult for him to catch.

I just want to be 'the One'.

I just want to have some time with him exclusively, to see if we could work together, and to see if what we have has the potential to really go somewhere.

His kiss, his touch, and his quiet companionship while we were sitting there on the cliff-top boulder, looking out to sea. Now those things were really something special. I didn't want being with him like that, to ever stop.

But what is it... that makes me want to scream, after being so calm and peaceful around him, maybe we aren't compatible at all?

Am I too naively idealistic, to want to be in a monogamous relationship with a man like Jasper?

It's not like I wanted to be married to him, or anything.

I just wanted to have the hope, the idea of being exclusive, and not having to share him with others.

In nature it was relatively rare for animals to pair up for life, there were some notable exceptions, and humans sometimes did find that love bond. But mostly we set ourselves up for bitter disappointment. I mean look at my poor Dad as a classic example, he never managed to get over Renee, even after decades apart, and her re-marrying!

But who was I kidding? What would someone as gorgeous as Jasper, ever see in me?

I was a plain, pregnant, single, and a scientist. Hardly a sexy profession!

I liked my new haircut though, and I was always welcome back at the gay club, where all of those guys could lovingly rub my tummy. Just like I was some sort of fricking, fertility goddess!

I was the owner of a fat, fluffy, ginger, half-grown cat, two hens, a sports car and a house, and wonderfully, happily, no longer in debt. Yay me!

I had purchased a lovely ice cream maker, at a low price, and I was looking forward to making and eating lots of delicious, new flavours.

If I couldn't spent my time with Jasper, maybe I could drown my sorrows in best ice cream ever!

I also stocked up on Vegemite, god I loved that stuff! Addicted wasn't really the word, for the love that I felt towards it!

I also picked up some nice looking maternity clothes too, soft stretchy tops and pants, soft stretchy bras, a few adaptable sarongs, and a beautiful, soft, cashmere jacket with a hood and large pockets.

I even found some black ugg boots, to replace my old ones! Another great Australian invention, which I certainly couldn't live without!

I was having twins for a lovely couple and I had a big job ahead of me in the next six months.

I had to focus and get this work for Aro all completed and up on the web, being used by the department as a whole and updated, with new stuff all the time, creating new ways for students to interact with the teaching staff and each other.

I needed to stop pining for Jasper, and also start thinking about getting ready for Christmas!

Trees and decorations, gifts and carols. Christmas cards with happy messages. Lights, lots of lights and tinsel and a pretty wreath for the front door.

Pia told me to 'count my blessings and focus on the bambinos'. So I will, I will count my many blessings ...for Pia and for the twins.

The Cullen's twins.

My tummy feels kind of hard, and my boobs are still tingling and tender, but not so sore anymore.

I enjoyed taking naps in the daytime, with Pia holding back Aro from wanting to discuss work, all in an attempt to fuss over her 'mamina', little mama.

Aro and I did manage to plough through heaps of good work and he was more than pleased, with all the undergrad marking I did for him.

We were able to go through the whole curriculum, and I showed him the kind of thing I was looking to achieve. There were other universities which had some great sites, and I think it was then, that he started understanding just what a big difference this could mean to the running of the department. His department could double or triple, with more students studying his ground-breaking science and research from all over the world.

He looked at me differently after that, like I was somewhat of an agent for change, who would revolutionize 'life' as he had previously known it.

Growing babies is hard work for the body.

I promised the twins that I would get an afternoon nap, every single day. To eat the freshest, yummiest food I could find, and to start enjoying myself. Steve and Vlad had made me see how good it was to laugh again.

Life was good, I looked forward to the future.

My health was great.

I'd made some wonderful new friends, in Steve and Vlad. They had regretfully declined my offer for a White Christmas spent in Forks, with a baked turkey lunch. They did tell me they were looking forward to following my surrogacy journey, and to email with any news, or call in to catch up with them if I went down to San Francisco again.

Vlad especially loved receiving emails from me. I sent him my dream journal, for his reading pleasure and amusement; that and also wanted to see if he had anymore insights into the crazy workings of my sub-conscious mind!

Rufus and I made a stop-off a Leah's. She and Marcy welcomed us in and Rufus played around, chasing Marcy for ages until they both collapsed in a heap, to sleep off the exhaustion.

Rufus still managed to curl up under Marcy's watchful gaze, both of them looking as cute as ever.

While I was there, Leah forced me to spill the goods about Jasper.

Just by looking at me, she knew something serious was up. Her granny came through again and told me to 'play it cool', and let him 'work to earn my affections'. I got spooked when Leah went into full-on channelling mode, and came out with this gem:

'Let go, let go, you will receive!

Make the most of our beliefs.

Make the most of what you know!

Get on board and it will go-

Completely your way,

You will find

That being here, is where you'll find-

Your heart and soul,

Your feelings too,

And all in all, your sense renewed.

That coming home and letting go,

All faith we have in you, does show!'

She said that Christmas would be a day to remember, and that my babies were gorgeous.

Oh well, I'll just have to be patient and see what happens.

Maybe by Christmas, which was only a couple of weeks away, things might look a little clearer.

Here's hoping Santa is listening! Either him, or Leah's granny and my nanna Swan, might combine forces, to make it all work out the way it should.

I'll say AMEN to that!