I can't take any more Biology. If I have to look at one more intensive metabolic process, I'll probably end up committing homicide. So, I took a break and wrote this. Yay!
The Capitol was probably about to send the wolves after me if I didn't move soon, but I didn't care. They wouldn't take Clove away from me. It was too much. Pushing Peeta away was a mistake. It seems to be the thing I do best: pushing people away. I thought I was making progress, but I didn't make it anywhere. The memories of the mask trying to push itself back on me reminded me of that. One monster into another, it was stupid.
I had nothing anymore. Clove was gone and Peeta left me because I'll never learn. No, I will. I will learn if it's the last thing I do. I won't let myself push anyone else away. I'll fight the masks' hold on me, for Clove and Peeta.
"I figured I'd still find you here."
"Peeta?" He was leaning against a tree running his finger along Clove's blade. "Why did you come back?"
"Don't be an idiot," his voice held a more serious tone. "Did you really think you could push me away that easily? Plus, I had no where else to go."
"But, Katniss…" The way he held himself was so much stronger than I was. How could he, the baker boy, handle himself better than the warrior?
"Lapse in judgment. It doesn't change anything." Moving from the tree, he approached me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Cato."
For what? It was all my fault, we both knew that. He shouldn't be the one apologizing. "For Clove. I'm sorry she was taken from you. I won't leave you alone to deal with that, even though you are an asshole at times."
"Tell me about it." I agreed, "I don't like that part of me."
His hand ran circles on my shoulder, even through all the snow gear, I could feel the faint heat radiate though me. Leaning into his touch, I reached one hand back to grasp his, waiting for him to say something, anything. Although it was still my turn to talk, to apologize, but I couldn't right now. Not with Clove's lifeless form in my hand.
"You have to let her go." Peeta whispered, pulling his hand from mine. Our gazes met, my neck hurting from the strain I put on it to see him. He sat down next to me, draping an arm across my shoulders. I wanted him to sweep me away from this nightmare. I knew I had to let Clove go, she wouldn't want me to dwell on this. If she could see me, I'm sure she'd be slapping me and telling me to get my shit together.
"I'm sorry." I finally admitted. Part of me knew she was watching and was smiling her school girl smile down at me.
"I know." Peeta answered. "You need to work on it though, one of these times I'm not going to come back. The only reason I came back this time is because of Clove. And she's also the only reason I can forgive you right now."
He held me for a few more minutes before standing. "We really should leave. Let them come and get her."
"You're probably right." I stood up, letting Clove's head gently fall back the earth. I didn't want to leave her, hoping somehow she would stand up and lecture me about how big of an idiot I am. Walking deeper into the woods, I never turned back to see her taken away. It was to painful to watch.
"Is it getting warmer or did I just get used to the cold?" Peeta asked as we walked through the woods. I didn't notice at first, but it did get warmer. The woods were filled with the sound of water droplets hitting the ground. What are the game-makers getting at?
"I think you're right." Our trek through the woods was becoming exhausting. "Starting to break a sweat under all these clothes."
"Maybe we should take a break, no sense in moving further than we have to." Peeta stopped, dropping the packs we gathered before leaving Clove. "Plus, we haven't eaten yet today, and it's what? Almost 5?"
Looking into the sky, I was blinded by the sun's intensity. It seemed brighter, and I couldn't pinpoint it's position, the whole sky lit by its radiance. "I can't tell. But the sun seems stronger. Might explain why it's so warm."
His warm laugh returned. I didn't know what was funny, but it was nice to hear him sound happy again.
"Here." In his outstretched hand was a loaf of bread. "Clove would have wanted you to have hers."
Silently, I took it from him and sat next to him. "Did you want to talk about her? Honor her somehow?"
"What is there to say?" I replied. There really wasn't anything to say. She was gone, and saying a few words wouldn't change it.
"It would help for closure." Peeta answered, "When I first met her, she intimidated me. After I got to know her, I knew deep down inside her was one of the sweetest girls I ever met. She put her heart into everything she did."
"Sweet? She was a murdering machine." I scoffed. Peeta didn't look amused by my statement.
"Dammit, Cato." Peeta mumbled, "Could you at least try? I'm sure it would help you."
"I don't want it to help." I answered back, "I don't want to accept her death. It would only lead to me forgetting about her. I won't let it happen."
"You'll never forget Clove. She isn't exactly the easiest person to forget." Peeta answered. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I'd deal with it in my own way, and Peeta's forcing me was starting to irritate me.
Fidgeting with the bread in my hand, I heard him say, "Take these."
Looking up to him, he had Clove's dagger and the black marble in his hands. "Something to remind you of both of us. Use her knife like you use my marble."
"Don't talk like that, you sound like you're giving up."
"I'm not giving up," His eyes softened and he turned his gaze to the ground. "Just a precaution, Cato. If I do die, I want you to live. And remember me."
"Are you sure you even want to give that back to me?" I asked, "After what I did with it?"
"A lapse in your judgement, just like mine with Katniss. I believe neither will happen again." Peeta answered, blue eyes meeting mine. I took both objects from him, sliding the dagger into my belt and marble into my pocket.
"Do you think you could really do it?" I asked, "I mean, kill her? I know you could, I saw you fight her, you have strength and some pretty good wrestling skills… But when the time comes, would you kill her?"
"Yes." He answered, "I have to."
The sun began to set, and Peeta's visible features seemed magnified with sorrow. Of course he didn't want to kill Katniss, but he had to. If the option arises, I won't let him. I'll do her in myself and save him from the pain it would cause.
"And then there were seven." I heard him say. "Who does that leave us with? You and me. Katniss, Glimmer, I think, Alex, Surge, and Thresh. Kinda surprised Glimmer made it this long."
It's only been three days... Wait? Has it only been three days? It seems like so much longer. Most of these games are stretched out a bit longer, maybe the Capitol was growing impatient? It couldn't be. There was enough action already.
He leaned against me, "With the remaining tributes, I don't think the odds are really in my favor. There's you, Katniss, and Thresh who are forces to be reckoned with. I don't know much of Alex and Surges skills. Where do I fit in here? I don't have anything that stands out."
"Knock it off." I answered, pulling him in closer. "You surprised me today. I thought your biggest strength was talking, making people like you. I didn't know you were as strong as you are, and you know how to use it. Don't cut yourself short."
"Are you really trying to cheer me up?" his snicker drew me from my mental admiration. Looking down, I caught the last glimpse of his eyes before we were encased in the darkness of night. "Brutal, bloody, Cato going all guidance counselor on me. I'm impressed."
"Shut up." I answered, but I could feel the smile spreading across my face. The anthem started, drawing both of our attentions. The sky instantly filled with Clove's picture and my heart sank. Finally letting it sink in that she was gone with no hope of returning. Her picture changed to the young girl Rue before cutting out and returning the darkness. No moon tonight. Nothing was ever predictable here.
I heard his gentle breathing against me and noticed Peeta had fallen asleep, his head rested on my shoulder. I guess I was first on watch tonight.
It was definitely getting warmer. With all the clothing on and Peeta's warm body against me I was starting to roast. We very well may have gotten heat stroke if he were in our sleeping bag. What were the game-makers planning? It didn't make any sense.
My thoughts on the Capitol's plans filled my time. Peeta rolled away from me and I was slightly relieved at the sudden lack of warmth that was starting to boil me alive, but disappointed as the internal fire he fueled died down as well.
"Christ, it's hot." Peeta broke between the echoing wolves. The sound of his zipper filled the air and the rustling of clothing as he partially pulled his snow jacket off. "How are we supposed to sleep like this?
"How long was I out?"
"Not sure, got lost in my thoughts. I'm guessing a few hours, maybe?"
"You catch some sleep, I'll take the watch till morning." Peeta spoke.
"Are you sure? For all I know, you could have only been asleep for a half hour."
"I'll be fine." Peeta answered. I wasn't going to question it any further, feeling the need to shut my thoughts off. Something only a dead sleep could help with. Rolling over, I rested my head on his lap and tried to sleep, feeling my eyes grow heavy.
"Shit! Wake up Cato!" Peeta shook me awake.
Sitting upright, I instinctively reached for my sword gleaming in the early morning sun. "What?"
"Run!" He shouted, grabbing his pack before pulling me hastily to my feet and ran to grab the second pack.
"What's goin…" The sound of ice cracking answered my question before I could even ask it. "But how?"
"The sudden heat change must have caused the ice to break apart!" Peeta shouted, throwing the pack to me. "Come on, we've got to move!"
The ground suddenly shifted, a fissure appearing between the two of us as chunks of ice and snow fell into the crack. The sudden shift had me on my face looking down the jagged gap between us.
"Cato!" Peeta shouted, grabbing onto a nearby tree to keep himself from falling.
I stared into the pit. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing, as if the whole arena was a floating block of ice.
"Peeta..." My fear began to build as I stared into the empty void bellow. Looking up, I saw his side of the fissure begin to slant towards me and dip lower. Rocks and ice slid down the incline into the bottomless trench and I saw him struggling to keep his balance on the shifting ground.
It happened so fast. Watching him, he slipped on the slick ground and slide down the steadily increasing incline towards the mouth of the fissure. His arms flailed, trying to find purchase on anything to hold onto.
"Cato! Help!"
A/N: Lots of talking in this chapter, blah blah blah. Things are about to go down, obviously. Hope you enjoyed! Leave me some love.