SM owns Twilight, I hope you all enjoy this little chapter.

Chapter nineteen.

I was so glad to arrive home; Forks had suddenly put on its snowy, most Christmassy look in ages. Driving through the streets, it reminded me of a pretty Christmas card, it was still daylight and I made the most of admiring it.

It was great to unload all of the gear I brought back with me, without stumbling around in the dark, I watched out for the icy patches on the path, and parked Lucia in the garage, so she could be snug and out of any blizzards that might develop overnight.

I unpacked the box holding my lovely, new ice-cream maker, my lovely, new clothes, the extra Vegemite, and all of the extra cat stuff. Rufus made sure he ate some more and I laughed to myself; he was fast becoming a furry, four-legged stomach! Pia had insisted on feeding him six meals a day. Maybe I should get him into a sensible routine, of eating only twice a day?

Then I got all of my computer gear out and the files downloaded successfully, this saved me a great deal work, moving piles and piles of paperwork up and down the stairs. I kept the hard copies for reference only, leaving them stored in the garage. I took the boxes of papers back with home with me, only because Aro insisted that I needed it.

I don't think he understood just how small technology storage, had become recently. I had filled quite a few memory sticks with Aro's information, and it was wonderful to get it retrieved and working as it should.

Thank God for scanners and memory sticks!

Angela came by and welcomed me home with some mail and our first eggs! Even though it was a little too cold for the girls to lay, that hadn't stopped them from doing it anyway!

I was so happy that I raced out into the clod air and gave them both some food scraps, they raced around thinking they were both in chook-heaven.

We caught up on the gossip, apparently Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley were back together and planning a big wedding!

I chuckled, remembering Mike's drunken antics at my front door, trying to get me to be interested enough in him and try dating.

Apparently Jess was the girl for him after all, ha, ha!

Good luck with that Mike, you'll definitely be needing it!

Seth stopped by too, and told me all the latest goings-on at the reservation down at La Push. The Blacks family had had their distilling equipment removed and destroyed by the governing tribal council. And La Push was now declared a completely dry zone. Alcohol as banned within reservation boundaries.

There had been a recent spate of alcohol-fueled domestic violence, road accidents and property damage against the tribal council member's houses and cars. So the community had come together, to stop the rot, and change their priorities, demanding a safe, secure place for women and children, and a better place to live, in peace and harmony.

I asked Seth what he thought, about having the res as a dry zone, and he shrugged. He said many of his friends got stuck into the Black's homemade fire water, on most of the weekends.

He said it had caused them to fall asleep in class and not do so well in school, and it seemed to leave them disinterested in life in general, particularly sport. Some of Seth's friends had been great baseball and basketball players, but once their heavy drinking started, they had lost their passion, for the sports they once loved, and didn't come along to training. Seth said the teams had disintegrated and they lost all of their matches.

Seth was sad he had lost some good friends to drink, and they'd ostracized him for wanting to start his own small business, rather than hanging around drinking with them all weekend.

He was proud of what he and his crew had achieved. I asked him if he, Colin and Brady, as well as his dad Harry, would like to come for Christmas lunch, and if he and his crew could decorate the house with lights for me.

I gave him money to buy some simple strings of lights and within two hours, the three of them were scrambling around on my roof with ladders and power leads, settling up the lights. I found an old Christmas wreath and dismantled it, taking off all of the worn bits, and adding some holly, new red ribbons and some shiny bells.

I had great pleasure hanging it up on the front door. It suddenly felt like Christmas!

My appointment with Dr Naidoo went well the following morning, she was pleased with my progress and I was feeling a lot less nauseous in the mornings, thank goodness. Esme had started a little album, using the pictures from the scans and things about this pregnancy, including the pregnancy indicator, to show the babies when they got older.

The next morning I went to select a small spruce in the tree lot, and fell in love with a really cute one. It was small enough to fit into the back of my car's boot, but Seth spotted me as he drove passed and offered to bring it back home in his truck for me. He told me it was a bit too small, and I laughingly told him to mind his manners.

My spruce was small, but the cutest-looking one ever. I reminded him that good things come in small packages. We chuckled, he as he loaded it up, using only one hand. I guess it was small, when I saw him do that.

I waved him off as he took it back to my place. I thought about getting a few more decorations for the house, some Christmas cards, tinsel, and maybe even some red, elf hats, so I could really get into the swing of things.

I stopped off at the butcher's shop and ordered a big, fresh turkey and then dropped into the supermarket for a big shop, to stock up on all of the goodies I wanted, to make lunch a special meal.

I wore the red hat around the house, humming Christmas carols. I had started making my edible presents.

I was stirring a big batch of red bell pepper and tomato chutney, in a pot on the stove top, when there was a knock at the door. I was expecting Esme, so instead of leaving my large batch of chutney, I called out instead.

"Come in Esme. The door's open."

"Well something smells mighty good in here!" A smooth voice said.

I jumped about a foot in the air! Jasper!

"I...I ...I thought you were Esme." I sputtered.

"Sorry Bella, that's the second time I've scared you while you were cooking."

"Jasper...you're here...in Forks!"

"Yeah I am." He smiled.

"I just wanted to apologise for being crazy, the last time I saw you. I'm sorry; I always go off on a tangent and get ..."

"Bella stop saying that. It's me who's been blind and stupid! I'm the one who should apologise! I came here to see if you would please, please let me make it up to you?" Jasper pleaded.

I turned the gas on the stove right off, so the pot of chutney wouldn't bubble over, and got ready to pour it all into clean jars.

"How about you take a seat Jasper? And while I finish these jars off, you talk? I'll listen, I promise."

"Ok well, first things first... I really want to apologise for being a stupid, selfish, horny man; who just wanted everything, without giving anything back. I was feeling overwhelmed with desire. You Bella Swan, are the most fascinating, intelligent, observant woman I have ever met. I can't stop thinking of you, I dream of you... as well as your food. My god!... Those are really crazy, wild dreams I've been having about you!"

I started chuckling nodding to myself..."oh yeah, those dreams!"

"It's true! In full, wild colour and such incredible longing and desire! You have no idea Bella! It's painful! I wake up each morning all... ah... consumed, is the the best way to describe it."

I shook my head, wow! It looks like we've been having similar experiences.

Vlad would just love this; I had to let him know!

"Jasper, did you know that I've been having similar dreams, about you and food, it's kinda spooky and more than a little crazy right?"

"Shit, you have too?" he gasped.

"Oh yes! They started straight after I met you in the supermarket that first time, and we had that strange conversation about chocolate, remember?"

"You too? Really?" He looked spooked and pleased at the same time.

I nodded, smiling to myself.

Well, well, well! Who would have thought!

I sensibly tried to get back to finishing making-up my batch of chutney, which would soon become the presents, for all of my guests.

"So Bella, I've got to know...do you feel anything for me at all? I've got to be completely honest with you. You have changed me and my view of the world. I'm so in love with you! For ages I thought, I could just stop it somehow, and it would go away. But it's the reverse! I'm so drawn to you. You are the only thing I think about! It's taken me over! I can't even focus on my work, or my studies! I'm lost."

I bit my lip and listened to him spilling out his innermost secrets.

"Bella, I need to know, do you feel something for me? Anything at all?"

I stood still, holding my ladle ready to pour the searing, hot chutney, into a glass jar. I bit down on my lip, and looked up to him.

I took in a slow, deep breath.

"Yes, I do Jasper. I feel so much...too much! It's like... I've been consumed with desire. But never the less, I want to be careful around you." I admitted, finally. I let out my breath, like I was about to start sobbing.

"I know, I get it... you don't want to be another, meaningless, time-filler, you want something else. You want it to mean something. Do you know that after you'd said all of that stuff to me... even though I reacted like a prize dickhead! I realised pretty quickly, that you were completely right!" Jasper stepped up closer to me.

"It's humbling, to have you call me out on my bullshit. You have a way of cutting right through the crap and getting right to the point!"

"Bella, you were right, when you pointed out the distinction to me. You didn't want to be a 'friend' like I was used to. When I seriously thought about it, I knew you were perfectly correct."

"There have been a lot of women in my life, and you were right, they do fall at my feet and throw themselves at me. But since I've met you, I can't stand any of them, they are really nothing to me."

"It was like you came into my world and turned on all the lights! What I see about myself isn't too good at all. There's something about you that makes me want to be a better man."

"Jasper..."

"Here read this, I need you to see this, before you do or say anything else!"

I wiped my hands on my apron and took his piece of paper from his shaking hands. He looked like I held his life, right here in my hands.

It was a pathology laboratory print out, for lots of different tests and their results.

"I went and got the full range of tests that I could think of, for every STD and tropical disease, as well as a general health check."

I read it, it was very comprehensive indeed. More thorough than the one I went through at my check up, before the Cullen's and I decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant.

"Bella, I really, really want to be with you, just you. I want to try and be someone you could love, someone you could be proud of, someone who is completely fulfilled by just being with you."

"Jasper..."

"Bella I want you to see, that I'm serious about you, that I want you to know all of me."

"Jasper", I huffed, "just come here and kiss me!"

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