Disclaimer: Yeah this isn't my stuff… That's why it's on FANfiction… All the characters and settings (Except Merriam, Henry, Terra, Ceasar, Gloria, and of course Raven) are Stephanie Meyer's, the genius writer!!

You all may hate me for killing one of Steph's characters… But hey at least I didn't make him gay… ~Shrugs~ I love Jacob too… So please don't kill me for this…

I found Edward easily, I was in my dressed human state so the pack wouldn't know what I was thinking, but Edward knew. He looked at me sympathetically and wiped away some of my tears. I looked at him in desperation.

"I won't do it Raven." He stated simply.

"You have to! You wouldn't try living without Bella!" He cringed at my pleading voice.

"You're right I wouldn't… But I can't kill you… Jacob wouldn't want that Raven." Edward looked at me like I was crazy.

"I love him Edward! Kill me! Let me see him! Let me be with him!" I cried knowing it was a lost hope with Edward… But with Jasper…

"He wouldn't." Edward looked like he wasn't sure about what he said; I took off.

"Jasper…" I was out of breath from running and sobbing. He automatically tried to suppress my agony, but he couldn't. "Jasper… Kill me…" I was whispering now.

"What?" Jasper was a man of few words, but this got him talking.

"Jacob…" I let out a sob and he knew what he had happened. Jasper nodded understanding and looked at me with pity.

"Raven… I can't…" I could tell that he was considering it.

"Fine I'll get myself killed! I'll search for a vampire who will put me out of my misery! I used to think you Cullen's had hearts! But I was wrong!" I saw him cringe as I ran off in tears. Alice and Bella found me before I could get far.

"Raven! Don't do this!" Alice cried as her and Bella embraced me.

"Raven, I love Jacob and I know that he would kill himself to stop you from what you are doing!" Bella was trying to cry but her body wouldn't allow it.

"You have no idea Bella…" I growled as I broke away. "When will I find something to kill me Alice?" I demanded to know. It felt so weird to go and get myself killed, but I had to, I had to see Jacob again.

"You won't… I won't let you!" Alice's perfect face looked so broken.

"Alice! Could you… No… Would you live without Jasper!?" My voice broke an octave on the word "live".

Alice looked at the ground and then back at me. "I would have to…" I turned to Bella who seemed to realize my pain.

"Bella… Alice I love you… You two are my best friends… Tell Jasper I didn't mean what I said… Take care of the pack… They'll need you… And please take Gloria home… She lives in Bear Creek Alaska…. Tell my dad what happened… But make everyone think it was a Car accident… Good bye guys…" I turned away with tears in my eyes.

"Raven you can't!" Alice and Bella screamed in unison.

"She can't what?" I heard a husky voice break in concerned. I turned slowly to see Jacob in a pair of sweats with Gloria at his side staring at me with all the love in the world.

"Jacob!" I flung my arms around him crying. He embraced me back but I heard him wince at the contact.

"What can't my girl do?" Jacob tried to smile through the pain. Alice had to pipe in before I could get a word in.

"Raven was going to kill herself." She sounded like a little child snitching on a sister. I just wanted to turn to her and say 'Snitches get stitches.' But the look on Jacob's face stopped me. His face looked in more pain than he had been in previously. His beautiful eyes looked at me disapprovingly and hurt.

"Why would you do that?" I would have rather his voice be angry and yelling than what it was now; it was hurt and judgmental.

"We… Thought you were… dead…" I was barely able to choke out the last word. He let go of me and shook his head turning it away from me. I grasped desperately at what to do but then he started laughing.

"Melodramatic, much?" His rumbling laughter brightened my spirits until I realized he was laughing at me. I punched his arm then I quickly regretted that seeing him wince in pain.

"I'm sorry" I started to cry again, man today was not my day. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist and kissed me.

"Babes, never hurt yourself on account of me. I wouldn't ever want you to die for me. Got it?" I nodded against his chest as he held me there.

If any of you were wondering what the moral of my whole story was, I'll tell ya:

Watch out for Mondays… You could:

Get sent to a new town after becoming a werewolf. (Yes that happened on Monday.)

Learn that Soul Searchers are about to kill you and every one you love.

Think your boyfriend died.

And decided to kill yourself.

I'm Raven River Tahiki soon to be Black, and this is my story. I hope that one day someone will find this diary and learn more about my world, till now it's buried here: Under the old Driftwood tree on First Beach in La Push Reservation Washington.

~Miss Raven River Black (Aka Mrs. Raven River Black) 12/1/08

3 years later (Btw this is now longer the diary this is just Raven's POV)

I ran in to our bedroom.

"Mr. Black! Mr. Black!" I giggled at our silly little game. Jacob groaned and tossed in bed.

"What Mrs. Black?" He wasn't as cherry as I hoped.

"I'm Pregnant!!"

The End