So this is taking longer than I'd planned. But I hope you enjoy it!!
--
"Alex?"
"Mum? Is that you?"
"Yes, it's me sweetheart."
"I can't see you. Where are you? While we're at it, where am I? I'm not dead, am I?"
"No, you're not dead. You're in a coma."
Alex heard herself laugh. "A coma? That's quite funny. How did I end up in a coma? And what year am I in a coma in?" That didn't come out right. Ah, well.
"What year do you want it to be Alex?"
"Well I want it - " Alex stopped. What year did she want it to be? If she wanted it to be 2008 would she wake up in her own time? With Molly waiting for her? But would she lose Gene? She couldn't. "Molly. I want Molly."
"Oh Alex. I don't think that's an option. At least not at the moment."
"Why? You asked me what I wanted. I want my daughter. I want Molly. I want to be with Molly."
"Of course you do. But you can't wake up in 2008. Your injuries are too severe. I'm sorry. I don't know if you'll ever wake up in your own time darling."
"Never wake up? What does that mean? I can never see Molly? Never go back?"
But her mother was gone.
--
Gene had been in the hospital for two days, terrified to leave in case Alex woke up. He slept on a chair in the family waiting area, checking in on her whenever the nurses would let him, or he could sneak past them. He didn't want her to be alone. He'd made Ray bring him a change of clothes, and Shaz came by every day after work to see if he needed anything. Shaz would sit and, unbelievably to Gene, not say anything. Gene liked having her there. He thought Alex would too.
The nurses had told him to talk to her, that she should hear the sound of his voice. Gene wasn't so sure that's what Alex would want to hear, but he didn't tell the nurses that.
Problem was, he didn't know what to say. People usually found themselves bargaining with God in these situations, promising change if they could only have someone back. But Gene didn't want any change, and couldn't offer any. He certainly wasn't the sort to bargain with an entity he wasn't sure existed. He only wanted Alex to wake up.
--
It was Shaz who'd suggested reading to her.
"Just read the newspaper. You read them anyway Guv. She just needs to hear your voice. To know you're here with her. That's all that matters."
"Fat lot of good the bloody News of the World'll be to 'er in her condition" he'd grumbled.
But once she'd left he'd given it a go. Nervously at first. He felt like a fool reading the papers out loud, especially when one of the nurses caught him doing it. But her look of obvious approval encouraged him.
He started with the Sporting Life then moved to The Mirror. By the end of the day he'd even read her a few articles form The Guardian, including the women's page. He'd picked it up with the others every day, hoping she'd wake up and ask him for it.
It had been the third day of Alex's coma, and he'd felt better at the end of it. Like he'd actually done something for her.
For some reason on the fourth day he started to panic. What if she really never woke up? What if she just lay here breathing through a tube for years and then died? At some point he'd have to go back to work. Move on. Live his life. He couldn't think about it. But she never moved, not a muscle, and it was starting to get to him.
--
Gene waited in the corridor while the doctor was cleaning out the hole they'd drilled in Alex's skull. He came every day, looking for more clot, cleaning away the blood. He tried not to think about that either.
"Guv?"
Gene turned. It was Shaz. He should tell her how happy he was to see her.
"'Ello Shaz. What're you doin' 'ere?"
"Are you hungry? Brought you a curry." She held out a bag.
He took the bag. "Thanks Shaz." He hadn't realized he was starving until he smelled the food. "Nothing for you?" There was only one container.
"No. I'm meeting Chris in about an hour. But I wanted to see how Inspector Drake was." She looked over to where the doctor was still working. "And see if you needed anything, of course."
Gene nodded thanks. "She's about the same." His gaze lingered on Alex. "I keep thinking I see her move. But she doesn't. Not at all. I just wish fer it." As if suddenly realizing who he was talking to, he changed the subject. "So 'as the station fallen apart without me?"
Shaz knew enough to say yes. "Inspector Rogers has been trying to keep it all together, but Ray's been giving him a hard time." She moved out of the way as one of the nurses tending Alex walked by carrying a wad of bloody gauze. She made a face.
"Ian Rogers couldn't find 'is arsehole with both 'ands. He certainly can't find a bloody criminal." He pulled up a chair for Shaz and they both sat next to Alex's bed. "In fact, I bet 'e couldn't even find 'is wife's -"
"Guv!"
"Wot? Oh, sorry Shaz. I didn't mean t'-"
"No! Not that. Look." She pointed past Gene's shoulder to where Alex lie on the hospital bed. "She moved. Her fingers moved."
"Wot!" Gene turned around. "You're imagining it." But he put his food on the side table and looked at Alex anyway. As he and Shaz sat there staring at Alex, the fingers on her right hand moved. "Shit!" Gene leaped out of his chair and ran into the corridor, returning with a ward nurse.
"She moved. Her fingers moved. I saw them. Shaz saw them." Gene could barely contain himself. "That's good, isn't it?"
The nurse looked at Shaz as if to confirm that Gene was seeing things, but Shaz shook her head. "I saw them move. Twice."
The nurse busied herself checking Alex's vitals as Gene paced back and forth at the foot of her bed.
"That's good, isn't it? She moved? She hasn't moved in days."
"Yes." The nurse answered absently. "Moving is good." She finished with Alex and left the room without a word.
"D'you want me t'stay Guv? I can call Chris and cancel. I'm sure he'd be happy to drop by later."
"What? Oh, no. Shaz, thanks. You can go. Go 'ave yer tea. I'll see you tomorrow."
Shaz looked at Gene. He'd looked so sad the past week. "OK. I'll stop by tomorrow."
--
The nurse came in every half hour. She'd check on Alex, look at Gene and walk out. He'd given up shouting at the nurses, as it hadn't got him anywhere. Sometimes he'd grumble at them, but he'd given up asking any questions and just waited, frustrated and worried.
By morning Gene had had no sleep and no answers, although the nurse had finally promised that the doctor would come by in the morning and talk to him. He sat restlessly in the chair next to Alex's bed, waiting, dozing in five minute increments.
He was dozing when her first heard her. She was quiet, murmuring,
"Mum? Is that you? Molly. Molly!"
Gene sat up, wide awake. "Alex? Alex!" He ran out into the corridor and called a nurse.
"Molly? Where's Molly?" Her eyes flitted open and closed.
"Alex!"
The nurse finally arrived, followed by Dr. Reston, pushing Gene out of the way as he moved to Alex's bedside.
"Alex, I'm Dr. Reston. Are you awake?"
"What? I think so. Yes. Molly. Where's Molly?" Dr. Reston turned to look at Gene.
"Her daughter. Molly's her daughter. She lives with her godfather. She's not here."
"Alex, Molly's with her godfather. Do you remember that?" The doctor pulled out a small pen light as Alex looked confused. "Alex I'm going to look into your eyes, OK?" The nurse worked the bed so that Alex was sitting more upright. "Open them wide, Alex."
Gene watched as the doctor looked into her eyes, as the nurse took her vitals.
"Alex, do you know where you are?" Dr. Reston was calm.
"No." Wait. Hospital? "I'm in a hospital?"
"Do you now how you got here?"
"No. I can't – wait. I was shot." In the head. I was shot in the head. Was that right?
"Alex, you were shot in the shoulder. Do you remember?"
She looked around, her blurry view becoming slowly clearer. It didn't look like a modern hospital. Shit. "No. No I don't remember that." Her eyes found Gene.
"Gene?" What was her DCI doing here? He looked like he hadn't shaved or bathed in days.
"I'm here, love." He took a step closer. He looked strange. Skinny.
"Alex" It was the doctor. "I'm Dr. Reston. Do you know the date?"
"'ow could she know the date? She's been unconscious -"
The nurse shushed him and he took a small step back.
Well if she wasn't home, in 2008, then she had to still be in the past. What was the last thing she remembered? Watching her parents die. Again. 1981. "It's 1981." She thought hard. "November, I think. Yes, it's November 1981."
Gene froze as the doctor continued to ask her questions, the nurse flitting about her. November 1981? What did that mean? He waited quietly, watching everything until the doctor stepped away from the bed and pulled him into the corridor.
"What did she mean? November 1981?" Gene ran his hand through his hair, feeling the panic rise in his stomach. She hated him in November 1981.
"Yes. It does appear she's having some memory loss. It's hard to tell how severe until we talk to her a bit more. It could be momentary, go away in a few hours as she gradually regains some of her memories. Or it could last longer." Gene looked stricken. "But I will need you to stay around. Help fill in some blanks to see how severe it is."
"Stay around? Where the bloody hell would I go!" But he did as the doctor asked, waiting in the corridor while the hospital staff tended to Alex.
--
Gene didn't know how long he sat there, it could have been hours, but eventually the doctor called him into Alex's room. She looked nervous, but awake and more alert than he'd expected.
"So Mr. Hunt. We have talked with Alex a bit, and she does appear to have a bit of memory loss. We have explained that it is September 1982, not November 1981 as she remembers. Naturally, this is a bit distressing to her, as she has lost about ten months of her life.
"We have gone over her injury with her, how long she's been in the hospital, but as to what's happened to her over the time she's missing, we thought you would have a better handle on that."
Alex looked surprised. "Him? Why him?"
The doctor raised his eyebrows at Gene. "So I take it your relationship was not the same then as it is now?"
Gene took a deep breath and shook his head, staring at the ceiling. "No."
"Well, Alex. When you arrived at the hospital nearly two weeks ago you named Mr. Hunt as your next-of-kin."
"What? I what?" She looked at Gene.
"Alex. I think I need to tell you a few things." Gene looked at the doctor. "Should you be here for this?"
"I don't have to be, no. I am however going to send a psychologist around to see Ms. Drake. She can decide if you should be present for that meeting."
Gene thanked the doctor as he left the room.
"Gene, what was he talking about? You're my next-of-kin?"
This was not going to be easy. "Alex, we live together."
"What?!"
--
A week later Alex was packing up her belongings waiting for Gene to pick her up and take her home. Home to somewhere she couldn't remember, to live with a man she could barely stand. And was apparently in love with. Shaz had stopped to visit the next day, confirming what Gene had told her, and the doctors had insisted that the best thing for her was to go back to her life, hoping the familiarity would jog loose her memories. She had somehow managed to avoid having much conversation with Gene about it, insisting that he go home and get some rest and that they could talk about it later.
Now he leaned against the wall in her room, waiting for her to finish, his expression unreadable.
"Um, the doctor asked that we wait for him before we leave. They're preparing the discharge paperwork, but he wants to go over some of the instructions for when I'm home."
"Of course. Whatever you need."
They stood in awkward silence waiting for the doctor, each of them exhaling relief when he finally arrived.
"Good afternoon Alex." It was Dr. Reston. "Ready to go home?" Gene joined them as the doctor laid paperwork out on the bed.
She wasn't. "Yes. Can't wait."
"Good, good. You're all set to go, the nurse took care of your paperwork, but you will need to do a few things. First, I want you back here twice a week to follow up on your clot, make sure there's nothing reforming. Also, you should make an appointment with the hospital psychologist at least twice a week for as long as you're having the memory loss."
Alex nodded. "OK."
"Also – no strenuous activity for the first four to six weeks, minimum. Possibly longer but we'll discuss that as you get on with your recovery. That means no jogging, no heavy lifting, no sexual intercourse. You may take short walks once a day, but I...."
Alex had stopped listening. She had tried to block it out. The idea that she was sleeping with Gene, could be sleeping with Gene, but there it was. She risked a glance, but he was staring at the ceiling, hands in his pockets. This was going to be harder than she thought.
"...and that should about do it. Any questions?"
They both shook their heads quickly as Alex gathered up the papers and put them into her bag.
--
Gene sped home in silence, cigarette dangling from his lips. He had no idea what to say, how to act. His unbelievable happiness at her being awake and alive was losing the battle with his fear about everything else. She'd jerked away from his touch in the hospital, and he'd kept his distance. He'd even gone back to work for a few days when she told him she was OK and he should take care of whatever he needed to. But what he'd needed was for her to be home, with him, for however long it took her to get better. He wasn't sure she'd have the patience.
--
Parking at the curb, Gene opened her door and followed her slowly up the stairs. She had to stop to catch her breath more than once and he put his hand on her back both times to steady her, causing her to flinch. She caught the hurt in his eyes the second time. This was going to be much harder than she thought.
"This is it." Gene unlocked the door, letting her go in first.
Alex surveyed the unfamiliar surroundings as Gene walked down the hall and deposited her bag in what she assumed was the bedroom before rejoining her.
"I don't recognize the sofa." She said.
"Was mine. Brought it with me."
"What happened to the other one?" She'd kind of liked the crazy retro sofa.
"I told Luigi to burn it, I think. But it might still be downstairs."
"Burn it? Why?"
"Well, we had, uh, rather a lot of fun on that sofa." He averted his eyes.
"Oh" she looked away quickly. The dining table was the one from downstairs, and there was a small breakfast table in the kitchen that looked new. Leaving Gene in the kitchen pouring himself a drink, she moved to the bedroom, noting the bed she didn't recognize, new furniture and what must be Gene's clothes in a small pile on the room's only chair.
Opening the wardrobe gave her the biggest shock. Her clothes hanging with Gene's, not even separate sides of the rack. His shirts and suits with her tops and a few dresses. Some she recognized, some she didn't. She was holding a foreign sweater in her hands when Gene appeared in the doorway, filling it as he leaned to the side.
"When did I get this?" She asked quietly.
"Cornwall."
"I went to Cornwall?" She felt herself spiraling.
"We went to Cornwall. On holiday." He'd save the details of how and why for later, if she really wanted to know.
Alex sat on the bed, looking up at Gene. "We went...on holiday...?"
He nodded. "Very nice time."
"We had a nice..." She nodded her head, biting her lip to stem the tears. This was too much. In the hospital, when they'd told her she'd lost her memory she just accepted it. She was lying in some other hospital somewhere else in a real coma and whatever happened here happened to pass the time. If her psyche wanted her to have memory loss for some reason, what difference did it make.
But now that she was here, with Gene looking at her with an expression she could not possibly have imagined herself, she didn't know what to think, or to feel. She didn't feel ready to give up, but had she? Was the coma within a coma some way of telling her that she had a chance or that she didn't? Were these people - these constructs, as she saw them, becoming her real world? And if they were, why would her mind put her in a coma? Cause her to lose the memory of her time here? And why did Gene look as if someone had sliced him open and taken out his insides?
As she sat on the bed the tears started falling. In seconds she was sobbing uncontrollably, her face in her hands. She felt him sit next to her, felt his arm around her shoulders.
"It'll be alright Alex. We'll get through it." He kissed the top of her head. It didn't feel wrong. "You need to get cleaned up and get some rest. Some proper food probably wouldn't hurt, you look like a stick." He lifted her chin and looked at her. "I'll run you a bath. It's early, but I think Luigi can rustle us up some food. 'Ee's been very worried about you too, by the way. Get some food in you and you can get to bed early." He smiled weakly at her as she nodded, watching him get up and leave the room.
--
"Feel better?" Gene set plates on the dining table as Alex joined him. She wore her blue checked pyjamas with her dressing gown thrown over them. He looked her up and down. Double protection.
"Much, thank you." She sat.
"You cold? I can shut the window."
"No. It's fine." She forced a smile. "What's for dinner?"
Gene looked at the food. "Uh, pasta. Chicken with mushrooms, I think, and salad. Same thing we always get. Salad's fer you."
"Same thing...yes. OK." Same thing they always got. "Do we order up often?" Might as well start with small talk, right?
"Sometimes. It's nearby." He poured himself wine. "I know you're not supposed to have any, but do you mind if I...?"
"No, please. Drink up." She reached for the glass of water sitting in front of her.
Gene watched her as they ate silently, but Alex couldn't hold his gaze. Maybe conversation would help.
"So, um. How did it happen? This. Us." She wriggled her shoulders a little, trying and failing to make it a casual question. "Did we – date?" She had a hard time thinking about it.
"Not exactly." Gene took a bite, chewing and swallowing before he answered. "Are you sure?" He eyed her carefully.
"Yes. Maybe it will help me remember. The doctor's think you should talk about everything that's happened in the past year. This....happened."
"OK" He nodded, glancing at his plate. "You seduced me."
Alex choked as she was drinking from her glass. Gene smiled slightly, getting the response he'd hoped for.
"Be serious Gene." Was he winding her up?
"I am." He set down his fork. "It was New Year's Eve."
"So I was drunk and you took advantage of me" she accused him.
"No. You'd had a few drinks, and some champagne, but you weren't drunk Alex." He thought about that first time, that first night. How scared he'd been. It was worse now. "Neither was I."
"So you followed me around all night and because I was a bit pissed I finally gave in out of desperation."
Gene smirked, crossing his arms in front of him and leaning forward on the table. "No."
Alex took a deep breath. "Gene, I am trying to get back some piece of my memory. If you are playing with me please stop. If you are not, please explain to me how I could possibly have seduced you."
"OK."
Alex watched as he pushed his lips out and his hair flopped over his forehead. Her stomach did an unexpected backflip.
"You grabbed me by the tie, pulled my ear to your mouth, and insisted I take you upstairs and shag you."
"Insisted?" She looked at him, not believing.
"Insisted."
"And you said yes?"
Gene raised his eyebrows. "Course I said yes. What was I supposed to do, let you shag Ray?"
"Shag Ray – what are you talking about?"
"You said if I didn't, you were going to shag Ray."
"Well you could have said no. I would never shag Ray." Alex made a face. "And I must have been drunk if I told you I was going to shag Ray."
"Well how was I supposed to know that?" Gene rolled his eyes at her. "And you weren't drunk." His voice got quiet. "And besides. I wanted to."
Alex stopped and looked at him, it suddenly dawning on her that they were discussing having sex. With each other. "I see" she answered, just as quietly. She wasn't sure she could take much more. "Um, I think I'm going to go to bed. Thank you for dinner Gene."
Alex stopped in the doorway to the bedroom and stared at the bed. Gene's bed.
"I, uh, I'll sleep on the sofa Alex." She turned. He stood behind her, his hands stuffed into his pockets.
"Oh. I don't want to put you out of your bed Gene." She stared in the bedroom. She really hadn't considered what living with Gene would mean, exactly.
"No, uh" he turned nervously. "You need to rest and get better. You sleep in the bed." He paused, looking at the wall. "Our bed. It's our bed Alex."
"Right" she looked away.
"Alex."
"Yes" she turned to face him.
"I love you." He walked away before she could say anything.