Chapter 4: Visible Scars

Ian's been home for a month now, and whenever I'm not at work I'm at the Gallagher house. Tonight I got off a little late which pisses me off because Liam, Deb, and Carl are staying at Veronica's while Lip is out with Karen and Fiona is out with Steve, or Jimmy rather, whatever the fuck that dude's name is, I could really care less, and Ian can get a little jumpy when he's home alone. When I get to Ian's room, he is asleep, thankfully. I sit down quietly at the desk in the room and start working on my essay portion for my application to the Community College, like I do every time Ian is asleep. I had only been there for fifteen minutes when Ian bolts up.

"Nightmare?" I ask. Ian nods. I put my stuff down and move over to the bed. He had nightmares every time he slept, tonight this one is bad. I put my hand on his shoulder Ian is shaking and he has broken out in a cold sweat. "Do you want to talk?" Ian shakes his head no. This didn't surprise me and I preferred not talking, even though I also knew it would do Ian good to talk. I climb onto the bed with him and let him lean into me, soothingly caressing his arm as Ian falls back asleep.

I never thought that I would be that guy, the guy who gave a flying fuck about someone else as much as I do about Ian. Maybe that fucked up saying about absence making your heart more fucked up with feelings might be right. I hate being apart from Ian, and not just because he's good at sex, but because he actually gives a damn, not that I'd admit I like that about him. He would listen, he'd come visit me when I got thrown in jail, he knew when to talk and when to shut up…sometimes. Fuck the guy had me wrapped around his finger, but what scared me more was that I didn't care.

I woke up to sunlight streaming into my eyes; Ian was still asleep in my arms. I look at the door as Fiona opens it quietly. She has a cup of coffee in her hand that she hands me as I carefully sit up, letting Ian's head fall into my lap; my free hand is absentmindedly running through Ian's hair.

"Thank you Mickey." Fiona says as she sits in the chair I was occupying the night before.

"You don't have to thank me." I tell her

"You don't have to be doing this." She says

"Yeah I do." I tell her "Because I want to. Fire-Ian has seen me through a lot of shit the last couple of years. He's also dealt with me not wanting anyone to know about us."

"I was pretty fucking shocked." Fiona tells me, "but I'm glad he gave you a chance. You're good for him, and not married."

"So you heard about his affair with Kash?" I ask her

I see Fiona smirk as she responds "Yeah, so is that the real reason he shot you a few years back or was it really over a Snickers bar?"

I know she is not going to stop this interrogation, so I answer "He caught us in the back of the store. It was the first time Monica had come back, Ian just needed to clear his head, and at the time the only thing I knew how to make him feel better with was sex." I watch Fiona's face carefully "Are you sure you want to have this conversation?"

"Mickey, obviously Ian trusts you and that matters to me. I want to be able to trust you to." Fiona looks at me again "I just never pegged you to-"

"Have a heart?" I cut in. Fiona tries to look like that's not what she was about to say but I could tell. "it's okay neither did I."

"How did he sleep last night?" Fiona asks worry on her face as her eyes turn their gaze on Ian.

"I got here about eleven and he was asleep, about fifteen minutes later he had a nightmare." Fiona looks at her little brother, the one thing she can't protect him from are the nightmares. "He didn't want to talk about it and I wasn't going to force him then. It was bad, he was shaking, and he had broken out in a cold sweat."

"Fuck." I can see the pain in Fiona's eyes, not being able to protect her little brother from this. I can relate, I want to be able to protect Ian but I know he has to come to us to talk, forcing him would just push him away.

AN: Here's the next installment. 5 is written and being edited, six is half way there. I'm really going to start digging into Mickey's feeling for Ian even more so in the upcoming chapters, so he may get even more so out of character. If I start to take Mickey too far out of character let me know because I still want him to be the rough and tough guy that Ian has fallen in love with, but with a softer edge. Reviews always appreciated ~2Rats