Chapter 6
September
"What are you doing here?" I ask Thom shocked.
I'm so confused. Sage sleeps peacefully in the corner completely oblivious to her parents staring contest. Part of me has been longing for Thom to come back for weeks now. But is he really here to apologise and become part of our family?
He gets off the bed and moves towards me.
"I miss you," he says tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "And Sage. I've been an idiot for how I have treated you. I'm sorry. I want you back."
I stand looking up at him, my heart racing. Is he being serious? I have harboured this hope that he would come back and be the father that Sage deserves. Can this be real?
"What's brought you this on?" I ask warily.
My heart hammers in my chest as I wait for his answer as I try not to get my hopes up. He smiles at me and takes my head in his hands, his grey eyes staring deeply into mine.
"It's always been you Katniss. We fight but we always end up back together," he says.
"We can't do that anymore. It's not fair on Sage," I reply.
"I don't want to do it again," he says firmly shifting his body closer to mine. "I love you Katniss. You are the only girl for me. Please give me another chance."
I continue to stare into his eyes, searching for the sincerity behind his words. I want to believe him. This has been my fantasy ever since he left. But I still have Sage to think about.
"You can't just come back and expect me to fall straight back in your arms. You let both Sage and I down badly. It can't be like it was before," I say.
"I'll do anything. I'll even get a job. I just want you back," Thom replies earnestly.
My heart flutters at his words. He wants to change. He wants us to be a family. I nuzzle my nose into the palm of his hand.
"I love you too," I reply. "I want us to be a family. But I can't take you back yet. You need to show me you can take responsibility for Sage"
Thom nods his head in understanding and strokes his thumb across my cheek.
"I'll get you back. It's always been about you and me," he says before bending down and placing a soft kiss on my lips.
The kiss is familiar and I get a small tingle from not having been kissed in so long. This whole scenario seems surreal. I don't quite know what to make about it all. Thom smiles at me before looking over my shoulder to look at Sage
"Does she sleep though the night yet?" Thom asks.
I twist my head round so that I can look at our daughter.
"She sleeps for about 4 or 5 hours now," I reply proudly.
Thom grins.
"She's gotten so big," he states in awe.
That's because you've not seen her in 2 months I think. But I don't voice my thoughts. He's just come back. I don't want to spoil things by bringing up the past.
"Yeah and she's teething now. She is becoming more and more her own little person," I say with a smile.
Thom smiles and turns to look at me.
"I'll set up the couch for you," I suggest.
Thom nods his head, places a kiss on Sage's head and follows me out to the living room. I pull out some sheets and pillows for him to sleep on and watch him as he settles down to go to sleep. We say our goodnights and I go back through to burrow down in my own bed. My head buzzes with the possibilities of getting my family back
Sage wakes me up in the early hours of the morning. I groan as I am pulled out of my slumber. Another day begins. However I am pleasantly surprised when Thom comes through and picks up Sage.
"Good morning," he coos to Sage as he picks her up and cradles her to his chest. "What do you need this morning?"
Sage stops whimpering but eyes Thom curiously. With him not being around he is almost a stranger to her. It breaks my heart a little that she doesn't recognise him. I hope now she can finally get to know him.
I get up and walk over so I stand behind him. I smile sweetly at my daughter and she responds with a smile for me. I make a silly face that makes her giggle.
"She needs changing," I tell Thom, placing a hand on his shoulder. Thom twists round to look at me.
"Okay. Where's the stuff?" he asks.
I grin stupidly at his question. It looks like he really is serious about changing.
"Just under here," I say gesturing to beneath the changing table.
Thom nods his head before carefully placing Sage on the table and getting out the changing stuff. He begins changing Sage while giving a running commentary of what he is doing. I smile as I watch him with her.
This is good.
After Sage is changed and fed we take her through to the living room so she can play with some of her toys. Mom is sitting drinking a cup of coffee and reading a book. She eyes Thom warily as he comes through carrying Sage.
"Good morning Mrs Everdeen," Thom says cheerily.
Mom gives him a cold stare.
"So you're back," Mom states tersely.
"Yep," Thom says with a grin. "I want to make things work this time."
Mom gives him a terse nod before getting up off the chair.
"Katniss, can I have a word please?" she asks.
I reluctantly get up, giving Sage a kiss before following Mom through to the kitchen. I don't think I am going to like what she has to say.
Mom stands tense by the kitchen sink as I enter and watches me carefully as I do so.
"So you just took him back?" Mom accuses.
"I haven't taken him back yet. He's got to show me he has changed. But he apologised and said that he is going to get a job," I say in defence of him.
Mom lets out a disbelieving snort and shakes her head at me.
"I'll believe that when I see it," she says.
I get angry now. She's not even going to give him a chance to prove he can change. I have to believe him. She should trust me enough to trust my judgement.
"He's really serious about it this time. He's been great with Sage this morning!" I say raising my voice.
"One morning isn't enough to convince me Katniss. He has treated you and Sage appallingly since Sage has been born. He has shown you no respect. A guy like that is never going to change. You need to get your head around the fact he does not want to play happy families."
"You're wrong," I state coldly. "I believe he has changed. And in future if you don't have anything nice to say about Thom, don't say it."
Mom looks at me with disappointment and I hate it. She has been my biggest supporter since Sage was born. I hate to think I have let her down.
I turn on my heels and storm out the room. I don't want to hear her judgements. I want her to trust me. If I can give Thom a second chance, so can she.
I return to find Thom waving one of Sage's multi-coloured toys. Sage eyes follow the toy around as he flies it above the head. I can see that doing this is not easy for him, he is not a natural baby person, but I appreciate that he is trying so hard. I squat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder as I smile at Sage.
"Everything okay?" Thom asks.
"Just Mom being protective," I reply. I don't want him to know of Mom's disapproval.
He nods his head in understanding as he continues to fly the toy in the air.
"We should do something today. The 3 of us," he suggests.
I smile. That sounds perfect.
"We should go to the park. It won't be too long before it's too cold to go there," he says.
"That sounds perfect," I say with a smile.
We arrive at the park and Thom sets out the worn plaid rug that my family owns. I pick Sage out from her stroller and lay her down on her tummy on the rug. She settles for a moment before straining her neck up and lifting her head so it looks like she is doing a mini sit up. She learned to do this a few days ago and it is her favourite thing to show off at the moment. She looks up at me with a proud smile.
"Look at you baby!" I exclaim. "You are getting so good at that!"
I bend down to kiss her on the nose and Sage lets out her childish giggle as I do so. Thom watches us with a smile.
"She's really learned how to do a lot," he states.
I nod my head while still pulling silly faces for Sage. Sage continues to laugh and giggle. Thom then hesitantly bends down and scoops Sage up in her arms.
"My little girl is getting so clever!" he exclaims raising her above his head.
Sage giggles with enjoyment as he hoists her into the air. She kicks her feet out as he dangles her high in the air and he brings her down so he can blow raspberries on her tummy. Sage squeals as he continues to tickle and fly her about the air.
I sit and watch them amazed. This is exactly how I always wanted him to be with her. I want him to play with her like this and spoil her rotten. Sage deserves a father who loves her so completely.
Eventually all the excitement gets too much for Sage and she spits up a little onto her t-shirt.
"Eurgh! Someone's made a mess. Better clean you up so you look good for Mommy," Thom says.
I make a face at Sage before handing Thom a wipe so that he can clean our daughter's face.
"She's going to demand for you to always do that if you keep that up. She loves being bounced in the air," I say stroking her hair.
"That's fine by me," Thom replies holding her in his lap "She can be my weight training for the day."
I laugh before leaning against Thom's shoulder and enjoying spending the time like this as a family.
The day at the park is close to perfect. Thom really makes an effort to show me that he has changed. He tickles, coos and plays with Sage. He even helps with changing her and cleaning her up. He and I have our first conservation without any arguments in months. It shows me this can work.
Late on in the day, Sage is sleeping soundly in her stroller and Thom and I lay on the rug, my head over his heart and him playing with my hair.
"Today was perfect," I sigh feeling the most content I have in months.
"You're so beautiful. I love you and that's never going to change," he replies still stroking my hair.
"We can't fuck this up," I say. "No more silly arguments or nagging each other. This has to work for Sage."
"Does that mean you forgive me?" he replies with a smile.
I return the smile and reach up to meet his lips in a sweet kiss. This whole day has reminded me what it was like when we were together and not arguing. How content he can make me feel. He's shown me today that he is serious about changing. I owe it to Sage to give him another shot.
For the first time in a long time I am given hope that everything is going to be okay.
That night Thom and I enjoy bathing Sage and blowing lots of bubbles in her face. Sage loves the bubbles even more than the water and her childish laugh is the only thing that can be heard as she swats at the bubbles with her tiny hands. Thom and I chuckle at her clear enjoyment of something so simple.
Mom is at work by the time we get back so after we have put Sage to bed and kissed her goodnight, we curl up together on the couch and watch some TV movie that is on cable. However not long into the movie I feel Thom's hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. His touch makes my skin tingle and I move in closer to him. He notices my shift in body weight and turns round to look at me with a sultry grin.
His eyes have a mischievous sparkle and I get a flashback to before all this happened and all we had to care about was the next party we had to go to. Our lips crash together in eager excitement. His hands tangle in my hair and I push my body flush against his own. I can already feel his arousal for me against my thigh.
It has been so long since I have had any intimate contact like this. Not since well before Sage was born. I suddenly realise how much I crave it. I want to be as close as possible to him. I forget about our daughter in the next room. I just need him right now.
The kisses develop quickly and we are soon ripping off each other's clothes. Mom put me on the contraceptive pill shortly after Sage was born so we don't have to worry about a repeat mistake. We come together in a messy tangle of limbs and sweat. The pace we set is frantic as we both desperately search for the our releases. We come seconds apart leaving us both breathless and panting.
We fall asleep for a little while before rising and making our way back through to my bedroom. I snuggle into him as we fall asleep once again. Today has been the best day.
The next morning I have to get up early for work and Thom looks at me strangely as I pull on my Mellark's bakery polo shirt.
"What are you doing?" he asks watching me from the bed.
"I have to go to work. You can look after Sage today if you want," I reply.
Thom scrunches up his nose.
"You got a job?" he asks surprised.
"I had too. Baby things aren't cheap," I say trying to not accuse him of anything.
"So you are working at Mellark's bakery? But you hate the Mellarks."
"I hate Glimmer. But Peeta is really nice. He always asks about Sage and he really helped me out giving me this job."
"Peeta? He was that golden boy, football star asshole that everyone fucking worshipped? It must be tiring being so fucking perfect the entire time."
"Don't speak like that around Sage," I say angry at his insult of Peeta. "And Peeta is just a good guy. Don't hate him for that."
I am surprised at how much his comment about Peeta irks me. I guess it is just strange to hear anyone say anything bad about Peeta. He is just such a genuine nice guy.
"Whatever. I'll look after Sage today," Thom replies.
I smile at him and bend down to give him a kiss. I am so happy that he is continuing to show willingness to help out with Sage. I turn to my daughter and pick her up, giving her big wet kiss on the mouth.
"You want to spend the whole day with Daddy?" I say to her. She gurgles. "Don't have too much fun without me. Mommy is going to miss you."
Sage kicks her feet about and I give her another wet kiss before turning round and passing her to her father.
"I get off at 5. I'll be home straight after that," I say to Thom while stroking Sage's hair.
Thom nods in response.
"Okay. I'll see you both later. I love you," I say bending down to give both Thom and Sage a kiss.
I leave soon after and make my journey to work.
I walk into the bakery with a huge grin on my face. On the bus journey here all I could think about is how perfect yesterday and this morning have been. I know it is early days, but Thom really seems to have changed. I loved seeing him with Sage yesterday and for the first time it feels like we are a proper family. Peeta notices my good mood as soon as I enter.
"Someone's in a good mood," he says. "Has someone discovered the recipe for calorie free cheese buns?"
I smirk a little at his joke. It has become a bit of an inside joke at work about how much I love cheese buns. I am always first to claim the leftover ones and often consume them at record pace. The rest of my work colleagues tease me relentlessly about this fact.
"Nope," I reply. "But Thom came back the night of the party."
Peeta's eyes widen in cautious surprise.
"Why did he come back?" he asks.
"He apologised for what he had done and said he misses me. He wants another chance," I say not entirely happy with Peeta's tone. I can tell that he, like my mom, doesn't approve of Thom being back.
"So you are back together?" he questions but I can hear the judgement in his voice.
This makes me upset. I thought Peeta was my friend. Shouldn't he be happy for me?
"Don't you start as well. I have already had a lecture from my mom. But I believe Thom is being serious. I want to give him a second chance," I reply.
"Hey, look, if he really is serious about you and Sage that's great Katniss," Peeta says holding his hands up in defence. However I can hear the but coming at the end of this sentence.
"But…"
Ah, there it is.
"I just think you should be careful. He hurt you and Sage badly last time. He has to earn your trust again," Peeta states.
I stand looking at Peeta. The disapproval has gone and I can only see the concern he has for me. What he says makes sense. Thom does have to earn my trust again. Helping with Sage these last couple of days is doing that. He has to continue to do other things to regain my trust fully.
"Thanks for your concern but I really think it's going to be different this time. He's looking after Sage today, something he has never offered to do before," I reply.
Peeta nods his head but I can still see he has his concerns.
"That's good then. I hope he keeps it up," he says.
I smile at him in thanks. I now realise he is just trying to be a good friend. However things remain a little awkward between us for the rest of the day.
The shift goes slowly as I am desperate to get back home to be with my daughter and boyfriend. I want to spend as much time as possible with them. But I get a pleasant surprise when Thom walks though the bakery door with Sage 10 minutes before the end of my shift.
"What are you two doing here?" I ask in surprise as I go over to them both and take Sage off Thom to give her a big kiss.
"Sage and I thought we'd pick you up from work. Save you taking the bus," Thom replies with a smile.
I smile back at him and stand on my toes to give him a chaste kiss while still holding Sage in my arms. She holds a teething ring and chews on it happily as I begin to bounce her in my arms.
Peeta comes through to get an order when he spots Thom and Sage in the shop. He puts on a warm smile and walks round to meet them.
"Hey, you must be Thom. I'm Peeta," he says sticking out his hand for Thom to shake. "It's nice to finally meet you."
Thom takes Peeta's hand in a vice like grip and I see Peeta wince a little as a result.
"Likewise," Thom replies. "How's reality for the former golden boy of Panem High School?"
"Simpler," Peeta answers with a small smile.
Both men look at each other with intensity. Thom isn't even trying to hide his dislike towards Peeta. I become embarrassed about the way he is acting.
I then realise that Thom coming here might not be the sweet gesture I first thought. He's marking his territory.
For some reason he has gotten it in his head that he needs to be jealous of Peeta. He came here to show Peeta that I am his. That I always have been.
Peeta breaks the stare first and then lets his eyes fall onto Sage. His face breaks into a silly grin as he bends down so he can look Sage in the eye.
"And how's Sage doing?" he coos tickling her chin. Sage lets out her childish giggle revealing her gummy mouth to him. "Oh my! Is that your first tooth coming in?"
Sage continues to giggle and smile at Peeta as he tickles her and pulls silly faces.
Sage loves Peeta.
On the few occasions Mom has brought her to the bakery to visit, Peeta has always made a big effort to pick her up and make her laugh. She always seems content when she is in his arms.
Thom watches Peeta interact with her with a hard look. He is clearly not happy about the way Peeta is playing with his daughter. I try to not let it bother me. Thom has to know Peeta is not a threat. He's my friend. Nothing more.
"Come on Katniss, your shift is over. Let's go home," Thom says gruffly.
Peeta looks up at his words and stops playing with Sage.
"You can go Katniss. Have a good evening," he says looking back at me.
I smile gratefully at him before gathering my things and following Thom outside to his truck. Thom doesn't say anything the entire journey home.
I don't bring up what happened at the bakery with Peeta. I know it would only end up in an argument and everything is too good for me to want to do that. So instead I show Thom how much he means to me in the bedroom. We even move Sage's crib to the spare room to give us some more privacy. I want him to know he is the only one for me.
The first week is great. Thom lives up to his promises and is really helpful with Sage and around the house. During that week I have the family I have always wanted. Sage really gets to know Thom and begins to respond to him in a positive way. Thom even looks after her while I am at work, leaving my mom free to do some of her own things. With Thom around to look after Sage during the day I suggest that I take more shifts at the bakery.
"Why would you want to do that?" Thom asks.
"So we can get more money. I want Sage to have the best in life," I reply calmly.
"Mellark better not be pressurising you into working longer hours," he states bitterly.
"Peeta would never do that. He has been very flexible since I have started working there."
Thom lets out a disbelieving huff.
"I just thought you would want to spend more time with me and Sage. Or do we not mean as much to you as Mellark? Are you fucking him behind our backs" he sneers.
I get an urge to hit him.
"Don't you dare say that. You know you and Sage are the most important people in my life," I reply angrily.
"Funny way of showing it," Thom states before getting off the chair and sulking off to our bedroom.
I ignore Thom's concerns and take the extra hours at the bakery. I still don't like spending time away from Sage but we could do with the money. In the long run it will be what is best for our family.
However things start to go downhill with Thom after I take on my additional shifts. He begins to help out less with Sage and some nights just point blank ignores me. We start to have little arguments again. He accuses Peeta of wanting me as his Seam whore. He doesn't bother looking for a job. I can feel my mom watching our relationship with a sad and knowing look.
One morning I wake up to get ready for work without him lying in the bed beside me. He had gone out the night before and obviously never came back home. I sigh with an annoyed huff. He better get in soon. I have work today and he needs to look after Sage. I get up and begin Sage's morning routine. Sage babbles happily as I change and feed her for the day but my mind is on what her father could have possibly got up to last night.
It gets close to the time when I really have to leave and he has still not appeared. I check my watch anxiously as I wait. I need to go but can't leave Sage here. Mom just got back from work and is dead to the world in her room. It is not fair to ask her to look after Sage today. I grab my phone and jab in Thom's number. The phone rings a couple of times before he answers.
"Hello," he says groggily down the phone. It's clear I have woken him up.
"Where the hell are you? You need to look after Sage today. I've got work," I reply angrily.
"Sorry can't do it today. Gale and I are going out of town for a part for my truck," he says.
"And it can't wait?" I demand.
"Don't shout at me. It's a one day only thing. I have to go."
"Whatever. It's good to see that you care so much about your daughter's wellbeing," I say and then abruptly end the call.
I let out a frustrated huff and Sage looks at me curiously.
"Looks like I'm going to have to stay home today munchkin," I sigh, getting up to call Peeta.
He answers almost immediately.
"Hey Katniss! How are you this lovely morning?" he asks cheerily.
"I'm sorry but I can't make it into work today. Thom was supposed to look after Sage today but he's decided there were more important things than his daughter," I say. "I can try and make it up to you another day."
"Don't be silly," Peeta says. "Why don't you bring Sage into work?"
"I can't do that," I reply.
"Sure you can. She can stay with me in my office. She'll be a lot more interesting than the accounts waiting for me."
"I don't know. I don't want to distract you from your work…," I say uncertainly while chewing my bottom lip.
"It's no problem honestly. I mostly pretend to do work anyway," Peeta tries to assure me.
"Okay," I concede. "We'll be there as soon as we can."
"Great! See you both soon!" Peeta says sounding genuinely excited.
We say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone so I can prepare Sage for her day at the bakery.
Sage and I push our way into the bakery an hour later and Peeta is out front waiting for us. He smiles brightly as we enter.
"Thank you so much for allowing this," I say as I follow Peeta through to his office with Sage. I place Sage down in her car seat on a space he has cleared on his desk.
"My pleasure. It's been a while since I've seen this cutie anyway," Peeta replies with a smile before bending down to wriggle Sage's nose.
"How you doing cupcake? Got any more teeth to show me?" he coos.
Sage opens her mouth in a smile to proudly show him her first tiny baby teeth growing at the front.
"Everything she needs is in this bag. Just come and get me if she gets really fussy," I tell him.
Peeta drags his eyes away from Sage to look at me.
"Will do," he replies with a smile.
We both stare at each other for a moment before I gather the courage to leave her with him and head back out to the store front.
The day isn't any easier with having Sage so close. If anything it makes it worse because I know she is in the next room but I can't be with her. It is the first time I have left her with anyone other than my family and it makes me a little anxious. In my head I know Peeta will be doing fine with her but it doesn't stop me worrying any less.
At the end of the day I go through to his office to collect her and finally spend some of my own time with her. I am slightly jealous Peeta got to spend the whole day with her. The door is slightly open as I walk up to it and I gently push it open to see Sage. When I do I see Peeta cooing over Sage in her car seat. He is playing with her toes and chanting a nursery rhyme.
"This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy went to town and this little piggy went squealing all the way home!" Peeta exclaims, wiggling a different one of her toes each time.
Sage squeals and giggles as Peeta tickles her feet. I stand back and watch them with a warm feeling in my chest. While Thom has to force himself to act like this with Sage it is completely natural for Peeta. He's just wired that way to be kind and caring towards children. I can't help but think what a great father he will be in the future.
"Having fun," I say with a smile as I walk into the room.
Peeta looks up at me with a grin.
"I told you she was more fun than the accounts," he replies.
I let out a small laugh.
"Did you have fun with Peeta?" I ask Sage bending down to give her a kiss. Sage kicks her hands and feet in response before reaching out for Peeta again.
"I think she may be in love with you," I say looking at Peeta with a grin.
"What can I say? I'm very loveable," he jokes.
I smile again but am suddenly caught in the intensity of his blue stare. I feel my heart skip a beat.
I cough to break the tension before turning back round to pick up Sage's car seat.
"Thanks again for letting me do this. You didn't have to," I say again.
"Anytime for my favourite employee," Peeta replies. For some reason I don't doubt he means it.
I thank him again before taking Sage out the bakery and back home. I try not to think about that look I shared with Peeta.
Thom begins spending more and more nights out and away from home. I am not impressed that on the few occasions he has looked after Sage he has had a hangover. The arguments get more frequent and he does less to help out with Sage. Mom still doesn't say anything but I can tell she is desperate for me to get rid of him.
I just can't.
In that one week I saw that he could be a good dad and boyfriend for me and Sage. And I still love him. He and I have been through a lot. I am terrified that if I end things now I will never see him again. I don't want that for Sage.
Peeta becomes my main source to vent out all my frustrations about Thom. I go into the bakery daily with a list of things that he has done, or hasn't done, and how this annoys me. I am surprised Peeta doesn't tell me to shut up. It must be boring listening to me complain all the time. I know I'm bored of it. But he is very patient with me, letting me vent out all my frustration and giving me helpful advice on how to handle it. He becomes a really good friend.
At the end of one particular shift I get a text message from Thom:
Gone to take Beetee on a drive in the truck. Left Sage at the Hawthorns. You need to pick up some more diapers.
"Arggg!" I scream as I slam the phone down on the table.
"What is it?" Peeta asks concerned.
"Stupid Thom!" I rant. "All I asked him to do today was look after Sage and pick up some diapers. Apparently that was too onerous a task for him!"
Peeta looks at me sympathetically as I angrily type a reply to Thom.
I don't ask you to do much. It's good to know your friends and your truck mean more than your daughter.
I send the message and angrily wait for the reply. My phone buzzes shortly after. I read it and immediately wished I hadn't.
Shut the fuck up. I don't care what you think, you dirty whore. I don't want to spend lots of time around you and that fucking mistake.
The tears begin to prick at the corners of my eyes. I hate that he can talk about Sage and I in that way. He says he loves us, but you wouldn't say that about people you care about. He's acting just like he did the last time he left.
Peeta sees me upset and comes over to wrap an arm around my shoulder.
"What did he say?" he asks his voice laced with concern. He runs his hands up and down my arms to try and calm me down.
I show him the text and feel Peeta's arms tense around me after he has read it.
"You can't let him talk about Sage and you like that," he says in a stern tone I have only ever heard him use with his mother. "It's not good for you or Sage. You can't let her grow up in a house where she thinks it is acceptable for her dad to speak to her mother that way. She will grow up to think it is okay for all guys to treat her that way and I know you don't want that."
I nod my head sniffing back a tear. He is right. I would hate any guy who treated Sage the same way Thom treats me. I don't want her growing up in a household full of arguments and fighting. Even if that means she doesn't have a father as a result.
"It's just so hard. I've been with him since I was 14. We have so much history together. It's hard to let go," I sob.
Peeta nods his head in understanding before tilting my head so he can look me straight in the eye.
"I know it's hard. I know you want the happy family and everything, but some guys just aren't cut out for that. You have to do what is best for Sage," he says seriously.
I nod my head in agreement. I know he is right. I can't keep putting Sage and myself through this heart ache. She deserves more than that.
I thank Peeta and he offers to give me a lift home. He distracts me on the way over by telling some of the escapades he got up to with Delly and Thresh as a kid. All their adventures sound a bit over the top and dramatic but it helps take my mind off Thom for a little while.
Thom does come home that night and sulks through to my bedroom. I know what I have to do but my decision doesn't make it any easier. On all the previous occasions we broke up it was right in the middle of an argument. Neither of us knew we were going to end it when the argument started. Now for the first time I know this conversation will end with him leaving.
"We need to talk," I state as he sits down on the bed. Sage is peacefully sleeping in the next room.
Thom just nods his head.
"I can't do this anymore," I state. "I hate the way you speak to me and how you treat Sage."
"What have I ever done to hurt her?" Thom replies defensively.
"You are just not there for her. You leave her with neighbours so you can go out with friends. You look after her hung over. Not the qualities of a good parent."
"I'm a 20-year-old guy. I need to go out and party."
"That's the difference between you and me. I would never put my own needs ahead of Sage's. She's my number one priority and every decision I make is because of her."
Thom looks at me crossly now.
"I don't know what you want from me! I'm here now! Isn't that enough?" he shouts.
"No," I state. "I can't be your girlfriend with the way that you treat me. You can still see Sage if you want but we're over."
Thom looks at me shocked that I am actually ending things. He didn't think I was strong enough to do so.
"Fuck this shit," he says angrily. "Have fun doing this on your own."
With that he gets up and storms out. I wait until I hear his truck move away before I search for my phone and call the first person I can think of.
"Peeta, I broke up with Thom. I really need someone to talk to," I say the first tear rolling down my cheek.
Peeta tells me to give him 20 minutes.
15 minutes later there is a knock on the door and I am pleasantly surprised to find Peeta standing in the door way with a basket of cheese buns. I thought he was just in the middle of something and was going to call me back. But I am glad he came here in person.
The sight of him makes what I just did seem all the more real and I can't help the flow of tears that come pouring out. Peeta puts down the cheese buns and I step into his arms without thinking. He envelops me in a tight embrace and I let the tears soak his cotton t-shirt.
We have never had this type of physical contact before, just small touches here and there, but I can't deny how good it feels to be encased in his arms. The smell of cinnamon and dill is now so familiar and comforting. Here I feel safe. Here I feel like life can be good again.
A/N: I hope people understand why Katniss took Thom back for a while. She wants that perfect family and is finding it hard to let go. Unfortunately many girls get sucked back into relationships that are not healthy. However it is good old Peeta who is there for her now. Next chapter will show how this has brought her closer to Peeta. Hope you continue to enjoy.