Nowhere To Run

Chapter Six

Alex and Sam ran out of their room to find Dean sitting in one of the arm chairs in the living room. He had his elbows sitting on his knees, his fingers laced together, and his forehead resting on his thumbs. And he was wearing nothing but his pajama pants. He looked up at the sound of feet running and Alex let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. She ran towards Dean and he stood up, accepting her hug as she threw her arms around him.

"Dean…" Alex breathed out. She realized how tight they were hugging each other and let go, backing away. "Wow… I didn't mean to- I'm sorry. I'm just, you know, glad you're okay." She crossed her arms and Dean took his spot back in the chair.

Sam and Alex each took a seat on the chairs on either side of Dean and looked at each other. Sam nodded his head towards Dean and Alex shrugged.

"So, any ideas what that was?" Sam asked, breaking the silence. "Or why they did it?"

"They said that it was supposed to show us our deepest dreams, secrets, and worries. I think they all just got mashed into the same world…" Alex shrugged. "I had a lot of time to think in there." She glanced up at Sam with a sad look in her eyes. "I know what your secret was. You wish Jess was still alive."

"I'm sorry." Sam whispered, looking solemn.

"No… I understand. Everything you told me about you and her… I get it. But I never understood what your worry was…"

"Seeing you happy with someone else." Sam replied, averting his gaze.

"That was mine, too…" Alex shrugged again. "And I guess my… Secret… Was more of a dream than a secret? It was just that I want a big house, someone to share it with, and just… A normal life…"

"Dean? What about you?" Sam asked, looking at his brother.

Dean stood up and walked behind his chair, placing his hands on the back and gripping it tight. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on, Dean. We both did, now it's your turn."

"I said that I don't want to talk about it, Sammy." Dean said, through gritted teeth. "Just drop it and let's figure this out."

"Dean…" Sam began.

"I was happy, okay?! I was happy." Dean shoved the chair and it flipped over. "Everything was normal. We didn't hunt. And for once in my life, I was fucking happy. My 'secret' was that I wouldn't want to leave a place like that."

"Why is that a secret?" Sam looked confused.

"Of course you wouldn't understand. You get everything you want." Dean groaned. "You get the girl. You get to be happy. It's just not fair."

"That's not my fault!" Sam jumped up.

"Oh, never!" Dean retorted. "Of course it isn't!"

Sam lunged at Dean, but Alex jumped in front of him, grabbing his arms. "Sam, go. Go outside or something."

"Why? Why should he get to be mad over things I can't control?!" Sam tensed up.

"Go. NOW."

Sam tore himself away from Alex and stormed out the front door.

"Dean?" Alex took a step towards him.

"What?!" Dean snapped back.

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm not here to yell at you." Alex held her hand out and Dean stepped forward and took it. She led him back to the chair Sam had been in and he sat down. Alex sat on her knees in front of him and took his hands in hers. "What are you so upset about?"

"I didn't want it to end. But I don't deserve to be happy, so I can see why it didn't last."

"Tell me the truth. I promise I won't tell Sam." Alex let go of Dean's hand to reach out and lift his face up. "Did we get thrown together because we wanted someone to be happy with or was it something else?"

Dean remained silent, but never broke his gaze with Alex.

"Did you want to be with me? Or do you? I promise you that I'll keep it to myself."

Dean stood up full force and accidentally knocked Alex backwards. "I don't know anymore. I just know that I didn't want to wake up. I would have lived there with you for the rest of our lives."

"I don't know what to say." Alex whispered.

"Just don't say anything. It's probably better that way."

Alex furrowed her brow and reached out for Dean. "I'm sorry." Dean walked towards Alex and she pulled him into a hug.

Dean leaned away and suddenly brought his lips down to connect with Alex's. The kiss was soft, like Alex remembered from the dream world. She brought her hands up to touch Dean's face, but remembered where they were. She backed away quickly and covered her mouth with her hands. "Dean… You can't- This isn't… This is real life now."

Dean wiped the corners of his lips with his thumb and forefinger and crossed his arms. "I won't do it again. I don't know what came over me. I can't remember if I had feelings for you before or if they developed in that other world. All I know is that I've been awake for 45 minutes and I'm already forgetting what you felt like and what it feels like to kiss you. Everything about you, I'm already forgetting. How you smell crawling into bed after a shower… How soft your skin is. I can't remember."

"That wasn't me, Dean." Alex whispered. "That wasn't real."

"That kiss right there? That was it. The very same." Dean began to walk off, but turned around for a second. "You know what else? Mangoes and the heat from the shower. That's what you smell like afterwards. I can remember what it was, how much I loved it, just not how it actually was."

"Dean. Stop."

"I'm going back to bed." Dean shrugged. "Maybe I'll dream up something better than all this."

Alex walked outside to see Sam leaning against the Impala. She lit the cigarette she had grabbed on her way out and half-smiled at Sam.

"You should stop smoking those things. They'll kill you one of these days."

"Yeah. So, they say." Alex laughed. "You better now?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that." Sam reached out and pulled Alex to his chest. "He was so angry and it just got to me. I was the one that had to watch him kiss my girlfriend and walk in on him about to have sex with her, and he doesn't even care."

"He cares."

"How can you say that?" Sam crossed his arms. "He basically said that he wanted to be with you and wouldn't have wanted to leave there."

"Sammy… Come on. He's just confused. Aren't we all?" Alex ran her hand through her hair.

"You can't be serious. You're defending him?" The look on Sam's face turned somber. "Do you have feelings for him?"

"No. I mean, I don't… No. Sam, I don't. I just… Being wherever we were, watching you be happy with someone else… I started to fall for him. But it wasn't real. I love you, Sammy. I want to wake up next to you, not him. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Okay." Sam said quietly.

"Sammy?"

"I get it. I… I understand." Sam crossed his arms. "I just- I need some time to think, okay? I just need to take a drive."

"Sam…" Alex dropped her cigarette and stepped on it without breaking her gaze at Sam.

"I'll be back. I just gotta clear my head." He opened the door to the Impala and began to step in.

"I love you." Alex whispered, crossing her arms.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Love you, too."

Alex walked back into the bunker, slamming the door in the process. Dean walked out of his room at the noise.

"Where's, uh, where's Sam?" He asked, keeping his distance.

"He had to go 'clear his head and take a drive'." Alex forced a laugh and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh. Sorry." Dean crossed his arms. "Do you, uh, want a drink?"

"Oh, god, yes." Alex chuckled and walked into the living room with Dean. "Give me your finest scotch on the rocks, barkeep." Alex giggled as she flopped down on the couch.

"It's a good thing you're cute or I wouldn't take that from you." Dean chuckled as he poured a glass for each of them.

Alex shrugged. "It's a gift." She reached out as Dean handed her her glass and sat down next to her, throwing his free arm over the back of the couch. "Hey, so… Are we good?"

"With what?" Dean asked, taking a small drink.

"All the crazy shit. Are we okay? Or better question, are you okay?"

Dean shifted his eyes to the floor. "Yeah. I'll be fine. You're a great girl, and fine as hell, but you aren't mine. Sometimes, dreams are better than reality, but I've had to come to terms with shitty reality before. I can do it again."

"I want us to be friends. Is that alright?"

"That's perfectly fine." Dean shot Alex a genuine smile. "I can deal with that." He smirked as Alex leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "How about a movie?"

Alex shifted her position and grabbed her laptop. "I have accounts for almost every movie streaming site you can think of. What do you want to watch?"

Dean thought for a moment. "Rocky."

"Never seen it." Alex said, opening her laptop and signing in. She leaned back into Dean as she pulled up the internet.

"You've never seen Rocky?" Dean seemed alarmed. "You just lost massive cool points."

"My dad was into westerns." Alex shrugged.

"Find that shit right now. You are experiencing Rocky." Dean shook his head. "I can't believe you've never seen it."

"So, you up for Rocky 2?" Dean asked as the credits for the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone rolled.

"How about no?" Alex smiled, finishing off her fourth glass of scotch.

"You didn't like Rocky?" Dean looked flabbergasted.

"Why do you think I suggested something completely from a completely different genre?" Alex laughed at the look on Dean's face. "I'm just not that into Sylvester Stallone. Or boxing." She leaned up and gave Dean a kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Don't stay up on my account if you get tired."

"Am I allowed to watch movies while you're gone?"

"Of course." Alex began to walk away, but turned on her heel to amend her statement. "No porn. Or anything classified as 'adult'. But other than that, I don't care. Have fun."

Alex exited the bathroom as Dean was making his way to his bedroom.

"Going to bed?" Alex asked, towel-drying her hair.

"Yeah. I mean, your rules severely limited what I was going to watch, so I got bored." Dean chuckled. He inhaled a little too deeply for how close he was to Alex and bit the inside of his lip.

"My bad." Alex smiled. "Well, goodnight, I guess."

"Yeah, goodnight…" They turned away from each other, but Alex felt a hand on her arm pull her back.

Dean pulled Alex close and breathed in deeply.

"Dean…" Alex whispered.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." But he didn't let go or move away. He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to Alex's.

Alex began to kiss back without even thinking about it. When she realized what she was doing, she pulled away. "Dean. We can't… I can't…" Her breath hitched in her throat when Dean wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close again, pressing his forehead to hers and breathing in her unique after-shower scent. "You said you were okay."

"I lied." Dean bit his lip. "Just one more. Please." He begged. "And we can go to bed and forget about it. I'll be fine tomorrow. I promise." He swallowed hard. "You can't tell me that after all of that, you don't want one more memory like I do."

"Sam could be here any minute."

"We'll hear him come in, but he can't see us." He closed his eyes. "Please." He whispered. "I just want something to remember it all by."

To both of their surprise, Alex reached up and pulled Dean's lips to hers. He tangled his fingers in her hair and tugged, grinning into the kiss when Alex moaned in response. Alex pressed herself into him and Dean stumbled backwards into his bedroom door. He hit with a thud, but she opened her lips ever so slightly to allow Dean's tongue access and he forgot to feel the small amount of pain. He blindly reached backwards and opened his door. They stumbled into Dean's room and he kicked the door shut as he laid Alex down across his bed.

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