Chapter 3:

John was definitely serious about Caleb being his new babysitter, because the next time he was in New York with the boys, he asked Mackland if Caleb would be willing to stay at the motel with Sam and Dean. Mackland was hesitant to agree, but Caleb said he didn't mind, it had been a month since he had seen Dean, and he was looking forward to seeing how Dean was progressing. They drove up to a run down motel that the Winchesters were calling home for the next week. Mackland grimaced and Caleb just smiled.

"You grew up too privileged Dad." Caleb said. "It may not be the Hilton, but I have seen worse."

"Yeah yeah, my boy the hardened street kid." Mackland smiled, and they both got out of the car, and knocked on the door. John opened the door, Sam was in his high chair, and Dean was sitting on the bed farthest from the door.

"Thanks for coming Caleb, I didn't want to leave the boys alone if didn't have too."

"It's fine Sir, honestly Dean doesn't really let me do much, I am just supervision." John smiled at that.

Hello Dean." Mackland said. "How are you?" Dean signed his reponse back to Mackland. It was broken English at best, but at least it was a reply. He said hello and said he was fine, then walked over to Sammy. He was obviously done talking.

"He seems to be getting better with that." Mackland said.

"Yeah, he is definitely trying. I will take what I can get." John replied. "I'll walk you out. I'll see you boys in a week. Caleb have fun." Mackland and John walked out of the motel room.

"I thought they would never leave." Caleb said, Dean let out a giggle, and gave the teenager a hug, Caleb felt awkward, but he figured Dean didn't get affection very often so he hugged the young boy back. "How have you been Dean?"

"Fine. I just wish Daddy would leave me alone. I don't like sign language, I just want to stay in my quiet place."

"He is just trying to help, you can't stay in your quiet place forever Deuce. I mean, someday Sammy is going to be old enough to want to talk to his big brother." Dean thought on that for a minute, and then looked up at Caleb.

"I want to talk Caleb, I really do. I just… I don't know if I can anymore."

"You can, I know you can. I've seen you talk to the Runt. So I know you can talk."

"That's different, he's Sammy, and he doesn't know the difference. He can't make fun of me, if I can't do it, or anything. Daddy wants me to be normal, and I don't know if I can be normal. Why aren't I good enough?" Dean began to scratch at his arms again, like he did when he was anxious, or when he woke up from a nightmare. Caleb stopped his hands.

"Don't do that, you are okay, do not have a panic attack on me." Dean's breathing slowed and he sat on his hands. "Look Deuce, I understand that you are scared, and I get that you don't want to talk to your dad yet, but you can try talking to me if you want. I mean we basically talk anyway; it isn't that much different, it will just be easier on my head." Caleb smiled down at the child sitting next to him. Dean just sighed.

"If I talk to you everyone is gonna expect me to do it all the time."

"What if I told you, I wouldn't tell anyone you talked to me?" Dean looked up at Caleb curiously. "I understand you don't want to talk to them, they are being jackasses. They don't know anything about what you have went through. You need time, I get that, but you got to start somewhere. You talk to Sammy, so he has stories, now you can talk to me if you want. Tell me whatever you want." Dean looked up into Caleb's eyes, looking for some truth in the boy's smile. He didn't trust people easily.

"I'll think about it, Sam needs dinner." The conversation was clearly over for the moment, but Caleb felt like he had at least left the thought in Dean's mind. That was enough for now.

"Alright, what does he eat?"

"I still feed him baby food at night most of the time. He likes the chicken and rice one."

"Okay, how about you feed your brother, and I make some Mac and cheese for us. What do you think?" Dean nodded and grabbed a spoon and the food out of the fridge.

"Can you open this for me?" Caleb opened the bottle and handed it back to Dean. He crawled up on the chair next to his brother and offered his brother a spoonful of food. Sam smiled at Dean, and took the food.

"De!" Sam yelled. "Yum!" It amazed Caleb how much Sam loved his brother. Caleb had never had any siblings, so he didn't understand the bond. Dean was a whole other way with Sam. He never went to his quiet place when he was with Sam. His entire world revolved around his brother. When Sam was done eating, Dean lifted him from the high chair and placed him on the floor to crawl around.

"Isn't the floor of a motel a little dirty for a baby to crawl around on?" Caleb asked.

"Where else would he crawl around? He needs exercise. He can stand up by himself now, he will be walking soon."

"I'll take your word for it, come eat." Dean stood and sat at the table next to Caleb, but still kept his chair turned so that he could see Sam wherever he went in the room. Caleb knew that Dean trusted him, but Sam was his responsibility, and no matter how much trust he bestowed on someone else, he would never trust them completely with his little brother. Dean and Caleb watched TV for few hours until Sammy started to yawn, and then Dean picked him up and placed him on the bed beside him.

"Shouldn't he be sleeping in a crib or something?" Caleb asked. Dean looked over at him with a frown.

"We live in motels and our car, where do you think we would keep a crib? He only sleeps in a crib at Pastor Jims." Caleb nodded at went back to watching TV. Dean had placed Sam near the center of the bed so he wouldn't fall off either side, and then lay down beside him closest to the bed Caleb was laying on. He began his quiet whispering into his brother's ear. Caleb watched out of the corner of his eye, and wondered what Dean said to his brother at night. It was weird to him that he could see Dean's lips moving, but his voice was so quiet Caleb couldn't here what he was saying. All he knew, what that it was the only time Sam was completely calm. He lay on the bed beside his brother, listening to his voice until he drifted off to sleep. Once Sam's eyes were closed, Dean turned back toward the TV, moving over to the edge of the bed so Sam had room.

"How do you do that?" Caleb whispered. "The few times I have tried to get him to go to sleep, I just manage to rile him up even more." Dean shrugged.

"That happens when Daddy puts him to bed too. He says I am naturally calming to Sammy. I think that is why he just leaves Sam to me now."

"You are too grown up for your age, kid."

"I'm not a kid." Caleb's heart dropped at that. He knew most kid's said stuff like that, but Deuce wasn't most kids. He was so close to losing his childhood and that scared Caleb more then he would admit.

"You shouldn't be so eager to grow up Deuce, enjoy being a kid." Dean smiled.

"I'll try, but right now, I just want Sammy to be able to enjoy being a kid." Caleb sighed, that kid had too much weight on his shoulders. Dean's eyes were beginning to droop.

"Deuce?" Dean's eyes snapped open and focused on Caleb. "Why don't you come lay down in this bed. You need a decent night sleep." Dean shook his head.

"I can't, Sam might need something."

"I promise I will wake you up if Sam wakes up, I won't be going to sleep anytime soon anyway. It is still pretty early for me. I promise I will move you back before I go to sleep."

"Only if you move over to that side of the bed. I want to be close to him."

"Fine, just get some sleep." Dean nodded and Caleb shifted over so Dean could crawl in next to him, he probably could have moved to the other bed next to Sam, but Caleb thought Dean would probably take offence to that. Everything was fine for the first few hours and then Caleb felt Dean shift beside him, then let out a whimper. Dean began to toss and turn and he kicked the blankets off of him.

"De?" Sam said sleepily as he opened his eyes.

"Stay there Sammy." Sam seemed to understand what Caleb had said but since he wasn't sure he positioned himself between the beds.

"Dean, wake up!" Caleb's order shook the boy awake and he sat up with a start. He was breathing heavily and digging his nails into his arms, and they were starting to bleed. Caleb grabbed the boy's arms and pulled him into his chest. "Please Deuce stop it." Dean stopped struggling, and pulled gently against Caleb's grasp. He looked up into Caleb's eyes. Dean took a deep breath and then opened his mouth.

"I just want the fire to go away." Dean said. It was gravelly, because he hadn't used his voice in almost a year. Caleb teared up at the boy's voice.

"I know Deuce. Someday it will." Dean whimpered and leaned into Caleb's chest.

"I don't want to be afraid anymore." Dean said quietly. Caleb held the boy tighter, no longer embarrassed by the thought of consoling the small child.

"It's okay to be afraid Dean, I'll protect you, and I will protect Sammy too." Caleb looked over at the baby who had fallen back asleep. In that moment, Caleb had no idea how true that last statement really was.