Beep Beep Beep Beep Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"Alright already! For christ sake Louis I told you to put that dam thing on silent! The Captain is gonna murder both of us if she has to wake up to that damn ring tone."

"It ain't mine Sir, I swear I put it on silent."

"Then what the bloody hell is it!?"

"I think it's the Captains voice mail."

"Why would she have such a thing?"

"She has that connection line thing that sketchy chick, you know that Asian broad"

"Oh right."

Long pause

"Well are you gonna get it?"

"Why must I!? It's the Captains hotline"

"Well she ain't here now is she, so go get it"

Louis picks up the receiver

"Hello?"

"Ahuh"

"Oh"

"No Miss Day is asleep right now"

"I will certainly not wake her up!"

"WHY!? Have you ever tried to waggle fresh meat in the face of a seriously hungry bear!?"

"I didn't think so! Just imagine that bear was in a very bad mood and it is about 20 feet talk."

"Now imagine that bear was your employer?"

"Yeah I thought you might reconsider what you had asked. But fortunately for you the Miss has very

reliable employees that are glad to take a message"

"Ahuh"

"Yup, wait how do you spell that? A K A T S U K I. Right got it"

Put phone down

"Who was that?"

"Wrong number"

"Very funny, Spill it what was the message?"

"Oh right. Um something about forwarding a message the Captain wrong for some fucked up group call A K A T S U K I. You know them?"

"Nope never heard then. So what's the message?"

"Oh we got to download it off the main server"

"Great, just fucking great. And I don't suppose that person told you exactly where this message was located?"

"He said under the folder friends in the Captains folder"

Long pause, switch on the pc, wait for system loading, loaded, open my computer, 23 folders of the captains folders pop up.

"I hope this is not an urgent message; because this is gonna take forever to find"

"Na we got time"

"Sergeant?"

"Yep Sir"

"When is this message due exactly?"

"End of the day, why?"

SMACK PUNCH KICK BANG SLAP

"Why'd you do that?"

"Bye Sergeant you're on your own on this one! There is no way in hell we are gonna find that message before the end of the day!"

"HUH!!!!!???? How can you leave a man stranded!? We're in this together"

"Not a chance that is the mother of all jobs, we'll need the entire army to find that message in time"

"Well we could call them"

"You're right. I mean it's not like they doing anything besides fighting a war!!!!"

Sir left, Louis is left searching the 23 folders for a message that only read:

{Dear jen, buddy old pal.

Why do you insist that my spelling is so atrocious? I mean it's not like you spelling is any better. Oh and one other thing who the hell are those people that keep adding all theses side comments within your responses? I can't keep track of the conversation because there are just TOO MANY conversations to keep track of!!! FUCK YES! I'M FINALLY FINISHED WITH MY EXAM. SHIT! I have to pick up me repeat on Monday! What kind of sick twisted asshole says that we should get separate reports for our exams!!! Just tell where he is, I'M GONNA SO FIND HIM AND KILL HIM DAED. SO DAED THAT GOD WILL AHVE TO IDENTIFY HIM BY HIS DENTAL RECORDS! I swear i just got on holiday only to hate it because of the reports! GODDAMMIT!

Yours sincerely

Miss Brittaney Day}