Through the brush and to the fields

My head is aching as I listen to the familiar words of this rhyme. Mother always told me that if I was having trouble in life, follow the words and find a way out. Rubbing my temples does nothing to ease the pain as I walk through my fields. Do you hear it? The words scrambling in your mind like beads in a maraca?

From the fields into the house

The door slams shut and I pace the room in my snow caked boots, trying, trying, trying to forget. The pain. The oh so dull pain of your life being slowly ripped out of your hands. The lies, each that bring cuts and scars in this life. Things you can never escape, no matter how hard you try. Do you feel it? The dull agony this life brings you to?

Through the house into the hall

Dizziness over takes me as I stumble to the hallway. The ache hasn't ceased. My temples throb as I sob to only the air around me. No one can hear me. No one else knows what happened. Only we will ever know. I fall against the doorway, gripping it as not to slide to the ground. We all haul our own baggage, but do we ever give it up? Can we never escape it? Do you see it? The way people try to leave what they tried to leave behind, only to have it catch them later? Like some unforgiving animal?

Down the hallway, through a door

I can barely rise. Life for me has gone nothing but down. Ever since that night… that one mistake…

Damn it Gill.

The sobs keep coming as I limped down the hall. His childress mistress's screams rang in my head mixed with the conversation with the blond-haired snake. Mayor. That's what I have to call him. Mayor. My home, farm, and life being snatched away by the serpent prince's order. Why was I so stupid? DO you smell it? Do you smell my desperation? My other half gone, what was I to do…

Through the door and on the wood, lies the beaten steel

The door opened slowly as I fell inside. My body retched with pain, guilt, and anguish. I could only look up through the blurry tears in my eyes and see the shape of my desk chair. I crawled over. I felt myself had been beaten. By rage and agony; hope and desperation. They warm the blood till it's all said and done. The hope no one will know, and the desperation to believe they won't. The screaming. Why won't it stop? Why does it plague my mind? Do you taste it? Do you taste the salty tears that forever pour down my face? I sit in my chair to find my letter opener on my desk, and a few letters scattered about. I pick up the knife and examine the sharp blade through bloodshot eyes.

Place it where the sadness lies Then it won't be real.

My heart pounds as the cold metal touched my breast. The war within me clashing around. The voices scrambling about inside my ears.

He said he loved me!

He lied to you!

But he said it!

He ratted you out!

Shut. Up.

The blood began to spill as the metal pierced the source of all the sadness. The agony. The desperation. I told him I'd be gone by tomorrow. I would leave him forever. I could only say one last thing before nothing became real.

"Good luck, Gill."

I closed my eyes and smiled. I had kept my part of the deal.

Soooo. How you doin? It's been a while since I last updated, and I know I said I would update this once a month, but I am really busy and didn't have time to update The King's Son. So I wrote this short story to give myself a feeling of accomplishment. I will update The King's Son hopefully by next weekend. Sorry for the inconvenience. Anyway, review or PM me, because I love to come home and see how you guys like my stories! Have a Happy Thanksgiving y'all! XOXO- Beetle